Motherhood - Chapter 2 - Superpowers

When you become a mother, people don't usually tell you that you automatically acquire superpowers. But you do - at least to the little person or people who call you Mom. Mothers around the world are super finders, super comforters, and super creators.

I remember as a little girl how astonished I was at my mother's ability to find all my lost things. I was even more astonished when I became a mother myself and found that I this super finding power. Of course I also realized why I had this power. My home is my office, my domain, my everyday. I am the one who most often puts things away. I am the one who organizes the drawers and cabinets and even the clothes and toys and shoes. So I guess it makes sense that most of the time, I know better than anyone where things are.

Of course this super power comes with the duty of maintaining it by keeping things organized and using it by helping family members find whatever they seek. I wonder if super heroes feel like saving the world is sometimes a lot of work?

This weekend I have been using my super power of comfort. I am no doctor or nurse but I have a healing power no one else possesses - at least to my children. Every mother does. I have had a couple of sick tummies to tend this weekend. Tummy aches are hard to nurse back to health because there isn't always so much you can do. Especially when you aren't sure why the tummy hurts. Sometimes the only reliable help is to have your mom next to you.

I have spent many, many hours this weekend laying in bed with tummy aching girls. Sometimes I read to them. Sometimes I stroke their hair or hold their hand. Sometimes I snuggle them. It is the only medicine I can give them but it does have power. I know that they feel better just having me there. I know because I feel the same way when I am sick or hurting. When nothing else can help, just having your mom next to you helps.

As mothers we also are super creators. I am not talking about crafts and culinary delights. We can be the creators of things far greater than this. We can be the creators of self esteem and confidence. We have the power to create or destroy the self concept of our children. How important it is for us to keep on the side of super heroes, lighting up when we see our children and letting them know how incredible they are as Children of God! It is so easy to lose sight of this super power that we carry almost unknowingly every minute of every day.

Super powers certainly come with great responsibility. But when you feel overwhelmed by everyone's needs that only you can help, remember if you are a mother, you really are a super hero!

Science Project

Tell me I am not alone here. How many of us parents dread the "family projects" and homework that is sent home with our children that is really homework for the parents? I really don't mind helping my kids with their normal homework. Actually sometimes I even enjoy it. I enjoy teaching my children things they didn't quite understand fully in class or showing them different ways to look at a homework problem.

But I am not crafty. I don't like projects. I didn't like them when I was young. I think my mom, who is artsy and crafty, helped make anything I took to school look presentable. And now that I am grown I am seeing how much more I dislike them as they are multiplied by the number of children I have. Projects!!! AHHH! I have one waiting for me to do currently to make something out of 3D shapes for Lauren to take to school.

But this post is not about that. It is about how about 2 weeks ago Sabrina mentioned in the car on the way home that I needed to write her a note to tell her teacher we couldn't do a Science Project. This was the first time I had heard her say anything about any Science anything. She got out some papers from her backpack about a Science Fair and Project including a time line for turning things in. The papers were dated Dec. 10th. It was Jan. 7th. We had missed several lab check deadlines already.

I wondered if perhaps this was an optional thing. So I emailed the teacher that night (it was Friday.) I heard back from her Monday morning that the Science Project was in fact required and that she was shocked I had not heard about it from Sabrina as they had been talking about it lots in class. The final lab book check was due Wednesday according to the paper Sabrina had given me. The teacher said in her email that we should just do the best we could but that Sabrina probably wouldn't be eligible to go to UNLV with her project because she hadn't had a lab book check.

So I had Jon pick up a lab book on his way home from work that night. Sabrina and I brainstormed about what she could do as an experiment. She came up with trying to dissolve packing peanuts with common household chemicals. She got this idea from a friends birthday party that featured a "Mad Scientist." It sounded easy enough to me and not too messy.

So Jon brought home some packing peanuts and that night we got 5 household cleaning agents and wrote up all the steps to the Scientific Method in her lab book and performed the experiment. I must say that the actual experiment part was kinda fun. We enjoyed watching the packing peanuts dissolve in acetone nail polish remover and turn into a goo. And at least she had her lab work done for the final lab book check.

The part I really dreaded was making the display board. That means lots of typing and printing for mom and dad. The final project was due on the 18th. The 17th was Ann Marie's birthday and I had sick kids to take care of and take to doctor's appointments all weekend. It was a crazy weekend.

We did manage to type out all of Sabrina's lab book work and print it out big and put it on the Science Project board I had Jon and Sabrina go buy. I left the pictures for Monday. Tuesday morning about 15 minutes before school I remembered we hadn't gotten to the pictures. I didn't even have them printed out. Luckily I had a spare ink cartridge and could print them out quick at home. Then we quickly used all the rest of the glue in our house to apply them to the board.

We got to school with the completed project just a minute or two before the tardy bell rang. Whatever. I was just glad we got it done and it was out of our house. Whew!

Imagine my surprise yesterday when Sabrina told me she won 4th place in the school's science fair and her project would be going to UNLV to compete in the city wide competition! I was shocked. I was happy for my little girl who was very excited to win a ribbon. Apparently she tells me they judged it based on how well they liked the idea and the experiment and not on how pretty the board looked. Hallelujah.

Words

My Noble has not been a little man of many English words thus far in his life. He talks, in Noblese. But I have been anxious for him to learn some English and start using words to tell us what he thinks and wants and feels.

Actually he is pretty good at letting us know what he wants without words. Maybe he hasn't seen too much need for language yet. If he wants milk he just goes and gets a bottle and brings it to me. If he has a stinky diaper he brings me the wipes. If he is hungry he heads to the pantry to seek out something to eat (or he climbs on a chair to see if anyone has left their food on the table.)

But just recently he has started saying a few more words and I am tickled every time he gets a new one to sound just right. Right now he has the following list down pretty well, "Annie, Nana, Lala, Mama, Dada, Car, Ball, Hi, Bye, Go and UhOh."

Words he is working on but that aren't entirely clear yet are: "Bus, Van, Truck, Brina, Bottle, All the animal names and sounds on Peek a Boo Barn and Peek a Boo Wild, Out, Shoes, and More."

Tonight I was asking him to clean up his cars before he went to bed. He looked right at me and with one definite shake of his head said, "No." It was clear as a bell. No is not one of the words he says regularly. Usually it is "uh uh." I was so pleased that his defiance didn't bother me one bit. I kept asking him to pick up his cars and he kept doing the single head shake and saying, "No." It was beautiful to my ears.

About ten minutes later I got down of the floor and together we picked up his cars and put them away before I took him up to get ready for bed. As I was giving him a bath I made some bubbles in the sink for him to play with. I am not sure he has ever had a real bubble bath and this time the soap made more bubbles that normal. He was thrilled. He held up his hand with bubbles on it in wonder and looked at me. "Yes you got some bubbles," I said.

He put his little hand back down in the water and pulled it up again and clear as a bell said "Bubble." Then he kept doing that over and over and each time saying Bubble. It is lovely to hear him starting to speak and hear his little voice form familiar words. I just love this age and I love my little guy.

Pregnancy Thoughts

As I approach the 30 week mark of my pregnancy, the very small window of "this isn't so bad" feeling that is usually in the middle of my pregnancy has officially closed. My inner dialog is rather whiney. I feel bad that my family has to live with me when I am grumpy and whimpy and can only do about an hour's worth of physical activity a day before I am hurting so bad I need to sit and let my body rest.

On the other hand, even though it is still 10 weeks off I am able to see a bit of the light at the end of the tunnel. I just have to make it through February and March. January is going to be over before we know it. I know it should go fast. But then time somehow seems so much longer at the end of a pregnancy. And I do feel a bit like a kid waiting for Christmas.

I am excited and anxious to meet this new baby and get to know him. I am excited to see what he looks like and give him a solid name. I am anxious to see how life changes taking care of 5 children. I am excited for the delivery and the closeness to the Spirit that there is welcoming a new life into the world. These are the things I have to remind myself of when my back hurts and my pelvis feels like it is coming apart. These are the thoughts that keep me going.

Motherhood - Chapter 1- Failure

I want to start off this series of Motherhood posts with a bit of honesty and truth. But there is some tricky truth to mothering. So allow me to lay down the ground floor here with some notes on failure. 

Every mother, and I do mean EVERY mother, will at some point in her mothering career feel that she has failed. Maybe this has been on my mind this week because I have had a few of those points this last week. The reason every mother feels this is really quite simple. We judge our success (whether consciously or not) on how well our children do in life. And since no child or person is perfect and at some point each of us fails, so then each mother of each child also feels she has failed. 

The real trick to conquering this feeling of failure (which I am sure is sent from the Enemy of all things good) is to recognize that our success as a mother is not based on our child's choices. Kids are supposed to mess up. That doesn't mean we are failing, it means we have opportunities to succeed by helping them learn to do better next time. And the longer it takes to help them overcome their weaknesses or shortcomings, the greater the eventual success right?

So whether your child gets in trouble at school, or acts inappropriately at some social function, or hits someone, or lies, or steals something, or develops a drug problem ... whatever the extent of your child's failure, we must realize that there is only so much a mother can do. Even the perfect Mother and Father have had murderers and dictators and rebellious spirits as children. For every person has to make their own choices and in the end they will be responsible for their own actions. 

Our job as mothers and our success in that job ought to be measured on how well we have applied the knowledge we have available to us based on our current abilities at any given time. Perhaps an example or two will illustrate. 

A mother now would be considered unfit for piling all of her young children and babies into a car without any car seats and taking them out on a busy city street. 35 years ago, people did not have the same knowledge, laws, or baby gear and this was the normal course of behavior. Is my mother's generation a generation of failures because they didn't use car seats? No. 

A mother who is sick and in her bed knows that she ought to go help her child to be obedient when she gives a command. But if her body is not able to get up and go help the child learn this lesson, is she a failure as a mother? No. 

We do the best we can with the knowledge and abilities we have. That is how we ought to measure our success. 

And you know what? Even then we will still sometimes fail. Because we too are human and we mess up. Sometimes we get tired or angry and we say or do things we know we ought not to say or do. Sometimes we neglect to do things we know are important because we forget or get too busy with less important things. It happens to us all. And all too often we beat ourselves up about it.

But even that self beating is coming for an Enemy source. Because the Truth is that a Way has been provided to help us be better and perfect our efforts. When we repent of our mistakes, apologize to our child or children and to God, and make our best efforts to change and do better next time, the Atonement of our Savior can heal the wounds of our mistakes and make up for our failings. 

As one who has felt like the ultimate failure and has felt the deep wounds of her own mistakes, I am a witness to the power of the Atonement to heal our hearts and make us whole. We may always have to live with the physical consequences of our failings, but the Atonement can heal our heart if we so desire. 

"God made our hands washable for a reason," my mother always said as she would clean up icky messes of childhood. And I would add that God made the love between a mother and child nearly unbreakable for the same reason. So that when we make messes in our mothering, the Love between us and our children can help us clean up the mess and forgive each other with hearts cleansed by the Savior. 

Ogre

Tonight Annie got to go spend some birthday money at Target. She picked the Shrek Movies. I told her as we walked to the register how I don't really like those movies. She asked why. I told her it was because they are crude and have lots of potty humor in them. She asked what I meant. I said they make lots of jokes about things like toots and the like.

She noted that her dad also thinks toots are funny. It is true. I told her I just don't like that kind of humor. She said, "Well Mom, Shrek is an ogre. What can you expect?" Point taken. So then I asked, "Well Annie, what about your dad? Is he an ogre then too?"

Her reply -- "Well, maybe half an ogre. He doesn't look like one but ..."

I just had to laugh. This girl's mind just makes me smile.

Taxi

Only my dad would pick up 5 Chinese guys at Walmart who needed a cab and take them 20 minutes out of his way to their China town drop off. Only my dad would make such good friends of them on the drive in all their broken English that they would invite him and my mother to join them for dinner. Only my dad would accept take my mom in the restaurant with them at 9 p.m. for a spontaneous dinner. And who else would afterward pile all 5 of these Chinese men plus one of their friends into his car and drive them to their hotel.

When my mom married my dad she knew one thing for sure ... life with him would never be boring. And I think it is safe to say that at 74 he is anything but boring.

I am grateful the Chinese men were good people. I am sure they are glad my dad isn't a psycho too. I guess these guys come every year for the CES convention. They swapped contact info with my dad to get together next year and invited him to come to China for the best tour ever. :)

A Noble Heart

I wish I had a picture or better yet a video to show you what I am writing about today. Since I have neither, I am left trying to capture a sweet moment with words alone. I promise to keep it under 1000 :) and hope I can still capture it in my own mind at least as vividly as a photograph could.

Ann Marie was having a hard morning. You have to understand that she is ... dramatic. She can make herself cry at the drop of a hat and uses that ability to get what she wants. I actually know she is really upset when she is trying not to cry but failing. So in any case, she was pouting and crying on our way to church. And then she was pouting and crying as church started. I knew her issue wasn't anything too major, so I wasn't worried about her. I just was giving her extra love and trying to keep her sisters from bothering her.

This year our church time starts at Noble's nap time. He is one tired boy at church. So he is often all over the place and hard to keep in the pew. Such was the case today. At least until he saw Annie with her tears. He struggled free of everyone else's grasp and stood up on the pew next to her facing the row behind us. Then he swung one leg over her lap and sat down. He wrapped his little arms tight around her neck and laid his head down on her shoulder.

She wrapped her arms around him and rocked him as she cried. He laid on her like that for quite some time - far longer than I expected or was normal. I don't think anyone could have comforted her better at that moment. He did this two or three times during the beginning of our church meeting until Dad took him out to the foyer to get him to sleep. It just touched my heart to see it.

There is a bit of magic in the touch of this toddler. I am not sure how to describe it. Losing Camille has frozen her at that age in all our hearts and minds. Having Noble here with us as this toddler doesn't replace her in anyway but he is like a surrogate carrier of the loves we would have been able to get and give to her in some way. I am not sure that even makes sense but it just melted my heart to see him loving on Annie today and in church and knowing that that toddler love that she has missed out on has in  some small measure been restored by the sweet and tender heart of her her brother.

Motherhood - Introduction

Two and a half years ago, this is about the last post I ever thought I would be writing. And I am sheepish to write it now. I don't like self promotion. I am not comfortable with it. However, when I am passionate about something, I like to share and support it. And one thing I am passionate about is the importance and beauty of motherhood. 

I was passionate enough to give up my law career to spend every waking minute with my babies ( I was fortunate to be able to have that choice.) I have been trying desperately these last 9.5 years to be the best mother I can to each of my 5.5 children. I fail somedays. Or maybe I should say I fail in SOME way almost everyday. But I also have seen so many joyous successes as I have watched my children grown and learn and become better despite my mistakes. 

I am not one to spend too much time beating myself up about my short comings. But I fully recognize how many I have. So can you imagine my shock when I recently got a phone call from our State American Mothers representative informing me that I had been selected as Nevada's Young Mother of the Year for the 2011 year? 

I have spent the weeks since that phone call trying to make sense of this honor and trying to learn how that happened and what that means exactly. I had heard of "Mother of the Year" before because I knew a friend of mine's mother got that. 

In my investigation I have learned more about the American Mothers organization and how it promotes and supports motherhood. You can learn more about them HERE. I feel good about supporting their cause by serving as this year's Nevada Young Mother of the Year. I hope to bring a bit of attention to their cause. And so this year I will be doing a weekly post on some aspect of Motherhood. I hope you will enjoy this series of posts and that it will help us all remember how important motherhood is and the sacred trust we have been given to take part in it.

If any of you would like to show your support for the American Mother's organization or help sponsor me as their 2011 Young Mother for Nevada you can email me at stephaniewaite@gmail.com. 

Finding Lost Things

As a small child one of the first prayers I ever recognized as being answered was a petition to the Lord to help me find a lost thing. I remember one Sunday searching for a lost shoe to go to church. I was very young and we were late. I prayed and prayed and searched. I finally found it in some obscure cupboard.  I think finding a lost thing may have been a common first answered prayer for many of us.

Later in my teenage life, I had some very significant answers to prayers regarding finding lost things. I found an earring I had lost months earlier, an expensive ring I lost at the beach at night, and the same ring I lost in a huge field in a sudden rain storm. Finding each of this items was a miraculous answer to prayer for me. These experiences helped build my testimony that there is a God in heaven who does love us enough to answer our prayers, even when our prayers are not for something of eternal worth.

When Camille was in the hospital and I was praying for her to be made well, I thought back on all these answered prayers over little things. I wondered why the Lord would answer so many little prayers for me and not answer this most fervent and important prayer. I had never wanted something so much. I knew He could heal her. I knew He could raise her from the dead if he would just say the word. Why would He not? And yet He didn't. When I changed my prayers to asking for strength to accept Him will concerning her, only then did I feel the peace that only He can bring. 

Those days weeks and months following Camille's accident, I felt lost. When my brother told me he was worried about me, I told him I was worried about me too. How could I ever find wholeness again? How would I find joy and happiness in life? How would I find myself when part of me was buried in the grave?

The month of December 2010 seemed to me to be a month of finding lost things. I shared earlier on this blog that I finally found the video tape of Camille's first 8 months of life. What a gift this was. It is a treasure and by far the best gift we received this season. But I also was able to find many other little insignificant things all month long. 

I found the lost bag of pajamas I bought at the store and left there thanks to an honest stranger. I found an earring back for Sabrina that no one else could find in a thick shag carpet. I found a doll dress for Lauren that we had searched for over and over. I found Sabrina's glasses for her. I found a lost medicine that I had been searching for in a place I had already looked several times. I found Jon's lost keys in the food cupboard behind the baking items. I could go on and on.

Now I know that I have become a better "finder" since becoming a mother. I think mothers just know more of where everything is. But this month has been different. In each case, I have searched and used all my "Mother" finding ability without success. And then I have offered a prayer and tried to follow my feelings about where to look. In each case I have found the item. 

Sometimes it has been immediate. With the earring back I was sure it was lost. I felt all over that shag carpet. I asked Sabrina where she was when she lost it. All the cousins and Aunts and Uncles had already looked for it already and not found it. I came down from a nap to look as well. I was not finding it. I said a quick prayer in my head. Still I could not feel it in the thick shag. I sat up and told Sabrina we would have to go get another one. I looked down to my right and there it was sitting on the carpet right next to me.

Other times it has taken some time. Jon had been missing his keys for over a month. I had prayed several times trying to find them. No luck. Then one day in mid December I went to look for something else in the pantry and found them some baking things. It took a bit longer than the earring back, but my prayers to find this lost thing were answered. The keys were found.

And how many times did I pray to find that Camille video? Countless times. How many times had a searched? Countless. And yes at long last that prayer too was answered and the video was found. 

All this finding in December got me thinking about how the Lord can and does find Lost Things. He finds lost keys and toys and shoes. And He also finds the lost and weary soul. Talking to Jenny Nygard on the phone a few days before Christmas brought back to my mind how I felt in those early days - how lost I was. In the days after that conversation I have seen just how "found" I have become in knowing once more who I am and how richly I have been blessed. 

And so I wanted to offer to any who read this (especially my own children someday) my testimony of the Lord's ability to find lost things both small and large. If you feel lost or out of touch with your Heavenly Father or forgotten by Him, I say to you that He has not forgotten you. I know this with a surety that words cannot convey. You are not lost to Him. And if you turn to Him in humility - not having to understand all His reasons and methods - just in humility to accept His will for you, He will get in touch with you. He will help you become Found. It may take time, years even, but He will make you Found. 

True Spirit of Christmas Part III

I know it is a bit late for todays challenge. Actually my own True Spirit task for the day was to visit Camille's grave. It has been a long while since we were last there. But perhaps I will tell you tomorrow's challenge today so you can prepare if you choose to join me.

Tomorrow I am going to have each person in my family write a letter to Jesus. Consider it a sort of birthday letter. We all know that some of the best gifts we can be given are heartfelt letters from those we love. We have a stocking just for Jesus. It is white velvet and beautiful. Every year we fill it with our "gifts" to the Savior. Other years we have done promises of how we will change or lists of acts of service we have performed in His name. This year we are going to do letters of love.

We will also be reading the Christmas story from the Bible before we write these letters. Feel free to join if you like.

Nygard Family

I spoke with Jenny Nygard tonight. She is in the state of shock you would imagine. She has 4 other little children aged 5 and under to keep her moving from day to day. I remember being where she is. The shock and pain and inability to eat or sleep.

I will be sending a care package to them. If you would like to join me in this effort their address is
15403 Corliss Place North
Shoreline WA 98133

They are a young couple in dental school. It is not cheap to pay for mortuary and cemetery costs plus the expense of a headstone. If you want to help this family consider sending money or a care package. I remember getting packages for my kids that really helped them find joy in a very sad time. Some ideas may be, a locket or activities for kids or an angel christmas tree ornament. Let the Spirit guide you. Or just money. It will cost them several thousand dollars no doubt when all is said and done. That is a lot when you are a student.

Thank you to all of you who have gone over to leave her comments. For those who want to go to her blog you can click HERE.

The True Spirit Part II

Jesus taught us that when we serve our fellow man we are really serving Him. So what better way to get into the True Spirit of Christmas than to serve someone who is in need. Maybe we don't daily come across people in our path that have real dire needs. But there are people out there everyday, in every city, with dire needs. Maybe we feel their needs are too big for us to help in any real way. But any small offering to a person in great need will be felt in the soul with gratitude.

So my challenge today is to reach out and serve someone in need - real need. I have been in real need before and had others there to serve me in small but meaningful ways. It is the best gift ever. Today I intend to give that gift to someone else.

Perhaps you would love to join me in this challenge but can't think of anyone to serve. May I present a suggestion.

Just a minute ago I checked my email and saw a comment on my last post from Jenny (an admitted follower/stalker of my blog since Camille's passing.) In her comment she told me that her 14 month old son died in his sleep last night. I will be calling Jenny today, as soon as I can get my kids settled so that I can give her my attention.

I know how it feels to be Jenny - shell shocked and stunned and sadder than words can ever describe. I can only imagine how it would be to have this tragedy hit just before Christmas. One thing that helped me was the overwhelming support I got through this blog and all the comments of love and support and the packages that showed up from friends and strangers alike. They were small things that meant a great deal to me in my darkest hours.

So if you don't have a better idea, go over to her blog and leave a comment for Jenny and her family to let them know they are loved and supported. Then go say a heartfelt prayer for them. If I get her permission I will post an address where we can send care packages to them on this post later, after I talk to her.

Hopefully this will be the most meaningful gift we give this year, the gift of love and support to one in real need and consequently to our Savior.

Catching the True Spirit of Christmas

In an effort to really focus my Christmas celebrating on the Savior I am counting down these last days with a series of challenges that I hope will hone my focus on the Savior and His Spirit this season. I hope all who read will join me in these challenges and pass them along so that we may increase the true Christmas Spirit exponentially in these last few days.

So for the first challenge, I ask that you listen to Handel's Messiah today. I have the CDs and will be pulling them out to be the soundtrack of my day. If you can't do this, at least watch the clip below to get a bit of that true Christmas Spirit of the Savior.

25.5 Weeks

For those of you who only understand pregnancy in terms of months, this means I am about 5.5 months. I will be 6 months on New Years Eve. So I still have quite a ways to go. Here is what I am looking like these days (well this morning actually.) I guess I should note that I actually think I look much smaller in this photo than normal but then I am wearing all black and my hubby took this photo looking down at me (both seem to have a slimming effect.)

The bottom line is that my belly is out there. I feel bigger bellied than I normally am at this point. That makes me think maybe this baby is going to be a bigger baby. I feel as big as I was with Lauren at this point and she was 9 lbs. 4 ozs. So we will see if this feeling continues through the rest of this pregnancy or if it changes as this progress.

Another note about this baby. He seems rather chill. He is not a crazy active baby. Sure I feel him moving often but never with huge kicks or repeated big movements. He just shifts around and gently nudges me from time to time. I hope that is a foreshadowing of personality. I could sure use a chill baby. :) You know, the kind that hardly ever cries and loves to sleep. Lauren was like that. It was awesome.

And for our name update - we do have a name we like. But we are not so settled on it that we feel like announcing it yet. All our girls are pretty much planning on it and tell everyone that is the baby's name but Jon and I think we will may wait till the baby is born before we make it official and announce a name. We have a few back up names we also like in case one of those seems more appropriate at the time. We will see.

Anyway I thought you might like to see how the belly grows these days. It grows. And I grow with it. I am feeling much better today. So glad not to feel so sick anymore. Hopefully I can stay healthy through the rest of the holidays.

Last day of School

Christmas Break starts after school today. I have an agenda of activities to do with the kids in the week leading up to Christmas. I hope I feel well enough to make it happen. I feel like I have been sick this whole pregnancy between my morning sickness for the first 20 weeks and this cold for the past 3.

But I still have hope that I will be better any day. And I have so many fun things I want to do with the kids that I hope I really am better... like tomorrow. At least my asthma is under control and I can breathe.

I follow as blog called the Family Volley. It is written by a part time professor of Family Psychology at my alma mater BYU and full time mom of 3. I like it because she has great tips for common family problems and super ideas for family fun. I particularly liked her last post on ideas for fun activities to do with your kids during this Christmas break. You can find it HERE.  Some of them were already on my "do list" but she had a few I will be adding.

What is your favorite family activity leading up to Christmas?

36

Today I am 36. Jon sent me to the spa as my present. It was the best present ever. I got a "mommy to be" massage and a pedicure. I was there for about 3 hours and I felt like I was in heaven and not sick for all 3 of those hours. It was great.

It made me think, as I was getting my massage and thinking of how heavenly it was, about what the soundtrack of heaven would be like? Maybe different for every person? I have to think it will be quieter there than here but I wonder if there will be music playing all the time to emote peace. Or maybe music will be on a whole new level there that we can't even imagine here.

I look forward to having all of those curious questions of mine answered someday. For now I am more than happy to enjoy the "heavenly" things of this earth - like a great spa day for a tired achy body.

Random Post

After my 3 hour nap yesterday, I ended up crawling into bed at around 7 p.m. I slept till 9, got up for an hour and headed back to bed till 8 this morning. All that sleep has really helped and I feel much more alive today. I can tell I still have a bit of a head cold but at least I have some energy and the nausea is gone.

I just got off the phone with a friend whose neighbor had a 2 year old child drown a couple days ago. She wanted my advice on how she could help or what she could do. My heart aches for this unknown family having to face this at Christmas of all times. I will be praying for them.

We have school off today for Parent Student Teacher Conferences. Going to all 3 conferences in a row this morning just highlighted to me how different each of my children are and how much work it is to figure out how to parent each of them according to their specific needs. Each kid has some totally different area to work on. Their personalities are just so different.

And then there is Noble, waking up from his nap right now. Guess I better log off as I am back on duty.

My Fairy Godmother

Today has been a rough day. I don't know why but this pregnancy just is kicking my bootie. I was up last night nauseous again. What is the deal with that? Not sure. But it sapped my energy today. I have been dragging all day. But I had stuff to do so... you know. I drug myself out of bed and did my chores.

The grocery store was my first stop. Then home to make soup for my families tonight. I made cream of broccoli. It was a soup day for me for sure.  Mid day I called my mom to see if she could pick up some bread bowls for me. She said she would be out in few hours to bring them to me. Just then my soup boiled over making a huge mess of my cooktop. Oh and the phone rang.

I was dead on my feet by this point so I turned off the stove and headed up to take a nap while Noble napped. I woke up 3 hours later to find my mother in my newly cleaned kitchen with my kids. I felt like Cinderella.

I love my mother. She is the best. I am so grateful to have her close and for all the help she gives me. Mothers truly are the best invention ever.

Remembering

People often ask me if I think of Camille every day still. The answer is YES. I think of her every. single. day. And more than once a day too. I think of her every time I see the plants in our home that were given to us by people at her funeral. I think of her as I see photos of her and places she used to love to be in our home. I remember her everyday.

I remember her daily not always with sorrow. Most of the time my thoughts of her are loving and tender but not sad and filled with negative or unhelpful emotions like regret and wishing things were different. It just is what it is and she still IS and so I remember her. I remember her as I try to make choices to keep the Spirit in our home so she will feel welcome here. I remember her as I make tough choices that will help me grow closer to Christ and thus closer to being where she is.

I have had remembering on my mind a bit lately as I have friends struggling with their extended family not "remembering" their deceased child at important times. This is a hard thing. It is hard to have the world and even your family not remember your child who still IS bur just can't be seen.

It isn't that they necessarily forget your child. But not forgetting and remembering are different. You can not forget and simple not think of someone. It is natural. It happens to all of us. We move away from friends and then people we used to think about everyday are no longer a part of our daily lives. We don't forget them. We simply don't think of them everyday anymore.

And it is natural that this happens when people we know die, I suppose. That is how I am with my grandparents. I even think of them still often. But not daily. Not like Camille. When someone you are that close to dies, it is different. You remember them every single day. And it is hard to see others not remember when you remember her so well.

Last night as I was praying, I told the Lord that I remember His Son.  Then I thought about that. How well do I remember Him?  How close am I to Him? Do I really remember Him everyday? It gave me a good perspective on how my Father must want ME to remember His Son. I vowed to do better at really remembering Him. I vowed to cut through the noise of the world and the fun of the season and really REMEMBER Him and what He did for me - who He is to me - what He can teach me still.

Maybe if I work harder to really remember Him, it will be easier to become more like Him. And if nothing else I can say with a fully honest heart in my prayers to the Father that I Do Remember Him every. single. day.