Saturday, May 2, 2009

Feeling Good. Maybe Too Good.

Well the talent show was so much fun. The girls both did a great job. I will have to put some video of it up here if I can find the right cords and figure out how to do it sometime tonight or tomorrow.

We just finished cleaning the whole house and my mother is treating Jon and I to a night alone. She took the kids to her house for the night. That is the ultimate incentive for them to clean. So now my house can actually stay clean for a whole day! Wahoo!

As for the pregnancy update: I am feeling good. I mean my pelvic bone is popped out of place. I need to try to pop it back it but have been hoping it would do it on its own because it hurts to do it. But other than that and some pretty severe nightly heartburn I feel pretty good. I do have contractions but they don't hurt and they are not regularly spaced or often.

I think Jon and I will spend part of our alone time walking a mall or something. I am not as anxious to have this baby born as I have been with most of my other children. I was not really anxious with Sabrina because I just had no idea what motherhood would be like. I couldn't conceive the amount of love and joy she would bring to me.

With Ann Marie I knew what to expect and thought I was nervous about labor (Sabrina's was pretty awful), I was excited to bring her into the world and get to know her. Turned out her labor was super easy and rather fun. Then she spent the next 6 months crying. 

With Lauren, I was so burdened by the weight of her and about 10 lbs of extra amniotic fluid that I was really anxious to be done with pregnancy. That was a very relieving birth. With Camille, the end of my pregnancy was so painful with this pelvic bone thing that I was counting the minutes.

This pregnancy I feel better than I did with Lauren or Camille. And there is a bit of the unknown with how it will feel to have a son. And mostly, I guess I have an anticipated anxiety to face. Right now it seems so much safer and easier to take care of this little guy with him inside me and cushioned so well. 

I know I am going to have to fight the paranoia virus that has infected me when this tiny helpless little life joins us in the outside world. One day at a time. One breath at a time. With faith and trust in the Creator's plan.