Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Sacred Time

I have been spending nearly every hour of every day in my home since coming home from the hospital.  A great deal of these hours have been spent holding my little son Harrison. He really is a Harris son. My maiden name is Harris and he just looks like my side of the family to me. I like to call him "little son."
Little Son Harrison - 6 days old

He is a joy to hold. I don't have to bounce and jiggle to soothe him. He is content to just feel my touch. He rarely cries or fusses. Really only when he is wet or cold or hungry or has a big burp. It is so wonderful to have such a sweet tempered newborn to love on. I am treasuring every minute of it, even those in the middle of the night.
Harrison McKay - 6 days old

Often it is just the two of us, especially in the night like right now. All is quiet and peaceful. The cool night air slips in from the open sliding glass door and the only sounds are a dog barking, the quiet hum of the fridge, the faint chirping of crickets, and the sweet little gurgles of my newborn little son.
12 days old sleeping on my lap in the afternoon.

There is a sacred feel to this time I spend alone with him. It is almost as if heaven is still in his every breath. He looks at me with knowing eyes and I feel a stirring love and connection to this tiny being who I just met 12 days ago. How powerful a magic these mini miracles wield. They capture a mother's heart in an instant and hold it in a vice grip forevermore.
12 days old - spending quiet awake time at night with Mom.

I feel the hallowed nature of this time more keenly with this my little son as so often our time together is in silence. Without the frayed nerves of trying to soothe tears and hush cries, I feel a peace and depth to our time together. It is a beautiful, wondrous, divinely sweet experience that I want to savor while I am in it and be able to enjoy again through memory all my life.
Harrison's awake look that pierces right through me. 12 days old.

And so I try to make it more tangible to my poor human mind by recording my feelings today so that in my many tomorrows, I can hope to feel an inkling of this so sacred time with him so small, peaceful, and perfect.