Sunday, October 13, 2013

Mourn with those who Mourn

This weekend we took a quick family trip down to San Antonio. It was a last minute decision. That meant quite a bit of last minute planning for me. So Thursday was a rather busy day. Late Thursday night I texted with my friend Britt. Her son Daxton died the same week my Camille did - both in tragic, unexpected accidents. We have been close friends since we found each other online just weeks after our lives were changed forever.

She had posted about a missionary who had passed away so I texted to find out who it was exactly. Turns out it was her husbands little brother. My heart broke for her family, enduring yet again such a close and too soon loss of one so young. I told her I wished I could do something, take some of the weight of the grief for her. But knowing what I know about how unfixable grief is, especially in the early fresh stages, I was left with little of comfort to offer.

The next morning Britt got up early to drive her family to Idaho where her husband grew up. I got up just an hour later to drive my family to San Antonio. It was still the dark of night for both of us. My family quickly fell asleep and I was left alone in the dark with my thoughts. My thoughts were on my friend.

I thought of her driving in the dark, just like I was. I thought of the weight of grief on her shoulders and on her husband's shoulders as well. And I remembered feeling just a little bit that having others mourn with me when I was fresh in my grief did help me carry the load just a bit.

And so I prayed as I drove. I prayed for my friends and her family and for her husband's family. And I prayed that I might be able to lighten their load just a little bit, to help them bear this too heavy cross that weighs on an already tender spot in their heart. And I wept. I mourned with deep soul filled mourning.

I would like to think that somehow I did share a bit of the dark road with my friend that early morning. I felt an over powering charitable love for her family as I mourned with them those dark and quiet hours. I believe this is what is meant by our covenant to mourn with those who mourn. I think that in so doing, maybe we do in fact getting a better understanding of the Atonement and maybe we really do get to lighten that burden for another just a little bit.

On a separate note: To the commenter that asked more specifics on my previous post. The parenting dilemma - basically this move has been stressful on all of us, obviously. But this has allowed me to see how each of my kids deals with stress. Each has dealt with it differently, but it has shown up in everyone. For one of my kids, I think it produced some anxiety that is above normal. It showed me that I need to help her find good ways to deal with anxiety and stress. I am glad to know this about her when she is young rather than when she is a teenager and may be less willing to open up to me and less willing to go see someone to get help.