Some of you may have noticed that I have missed a few posts this week. I try to post everyday. The problem is that most days I have the time and inspiration for my post at night. The kids are finally in bed and my thoughts always wax more profound at night. This has always been true for me.
So it has been pretty hard for me to post the last while because I keep falling asleep before my kids do. That and the fact that from 3 p.m. on I have been laid out on the couch, my bed, or in the tub trying not to think about how sick I feel. Yes folks, I guess it is as safe as it ever will be to announce that I am expecting -- 13 weeks now. That makes my due date May 5. Wahoo!
We are very happy about the pregnancy. It has been really hard and really wonderful all at the same time for me. The hormones have just made the grief that much more intense at times, but the hope and work of creating a new life is healing. Plus the sickness, while it basically sucks, is at least distracting. It is hard to focus on your hurting heart when you just want to hurl.
As for the question I have been asked by all who know thus far -- "Do you want a girl or a boy?" My answer is a decided, "I don't care." I would like a healthy baby. If we are ever going to have a boy, this is probably a good time now that I have this big gap between kids. But I just love little girls. I would love to have another little girl. And I am curious about what it would be like to have a son. So really, I don't care or have any premonitions about that.
Jon on the other hand, well, he has informed the baby it is a boy. And he has a name all picked out. I just roll my eyes at him, his decision that this will be a boy, and his chosen name. I have heard all of that before from him - a few times.
So I still have a few sick weeks left. Usually I start to feel better between 14 and 16 weeks and then finally like food again by 18 weeks. I am just really hoping I am loving food by Thanksgiving. I really love Thanksgiving dinner. It is my favorite meal of the year. My parents are awesome cooks. I really want to be able to enjoy it this year. I should be 17 weeks by then so I am hopeful.
I will try to start posting in the morning so I don't miss days, but I can't make any guarantees. Some mornings, I just have to go wrangle my little loveys. Judging from the pounding on the ceiling, I think I need to go do that right now.