Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Stay at Home

The cute reason I quit my job. 

Someone asked if it was hard for me to decide to stay at home with my kids or if that was always my plan. It is a worthwhile question. Here is your answer.

I was working as a criminal defense attorney when I was pregnant with Sabrina. It was good work and I loved it. It was interesting to me. I felt passionate about the cases I was working on. Best of all I was able to do quite a bit of the work from home. 

There is a lot of research and writing involved in criminal law. I was assisting a more experienced attorney with his grade 4 felony cases (mostly rapes and murders not up for the death penalty.) I did all his writing for him. I researched for him. I interviewed potential clients and ran down leads in the case. And when the cases when to trial I went with him and he let me get trial experience by sometimes questioning witnesses. It was fun and exciting. 

At the time I planned to keep working for him after I had my baby but more from home and just getting a sitter when I needed one. I thought I would get bored at home all day. 

Then I had Miss Sabrina. I stayed home with her for 3 months. Often Jon would come home from work and find me in the same place he left me -- rocking sleeping Sabrina in my arms. I just wanted to hold her all day. After about 3 months my boss called and asked me to go do an arraignment for him. All I had to do was go wait for the case to be called and then stand up with the client and put in his plea of "not guilty." 

I sat there for 3 hours next to this accused armed robber waiting to stand and say "not guilty your honor." That was the last day I worked. I missed my baby so badly in those three hours. Jon made enough money for us so I didn't HAVE to work and I just didn't want to be away from her. 

Sometimes now I think it would be nice to have a job to exercise my intellect a bit more and give me a break from being "mommy" all day. But when it comes right down to it I just don't want to miss even the boring slow parts of motherhood with my children. There will be a time for work someday. But right now I want to savor the time I have with these lovelies before they grow up and go away.

Spring is in the Air

My nose is drippy. My sneezles and sniffles and itchy eyes are all speaking to me. The leaves are returning on our Camille tree out front. The signs are all there. Spring is springing up all around. 

I have a love hate relationship with spring. Ever since I was about 7 or so I have had terrible allergies every Spring. It probably didn't help that my parents and our neighbors planted 11 olive trees on our cul de sac back then. Their pollen is the worst. 

I remember so many, many nights I spent with ice cold wet rags on my eyes to help with the itching and numb them so I could go to sleep. I usually could find a medicine to help with the other symptoms but the itchy eyes ... they were my nemesis back then. 

Now my eyes are much less of an issue for me. They are just a tale tell sign that my drippy nose is allergies and not a real sickness. And these days I find remedies to help me along with most of those symptoms. I have had a few weeks of severe asthma this season. But that seems to be getting better now too. Still Spring has always been a season of physical suffering for me.

On the other hand I LOVE the beauty of Spring. If it weren't for the allergies and asthma I would say Spring was my favorite season by far. I love the flowers and the new leaves. I love the color and the rain showers. I love the warmer days. I just wish I could go outside and enjoy them fully. 

Now Spring also means preparing for Easter. Which has taken on an even weightier significance in our lives. And it means preparing for Camille's birthday. This means deep thinking, remembering, and subtle aching. It is a time to drink from the bitter cup of reality and bathe in the hope and promise offered by my Savior. It is another love hate aspect of Spring.