Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Invested


My husband manages money.  He runs a hedge fund.  Jon runs his own shop with no vacation days or sick days.  He works from home.  He has been building this hedge fund for just over two years.  Before that he worked for an investment bank as a stock analyst. This job required lots of traveling.  My kids thought he worked on an airplane.  I often felt like a single mom.

When we prayed about whether to start the hedge fund, we felt that it would be VERY difficult. But we chose to do it because we wanted time with our Dado.  It has been hard.  It has been the most stressful job Jon has ever had.  He has done very well and we have been incredibly blessed in his business.  

Now, however, I can't help but be incredibly grateful to the Lord for inspiring us to do this so that Jon could be home with us so much.  Jon works a lot of hours, but because he is at home, he also gets to see so much of his girls.  They love their dado.  They love to visit him in his office.

On his stressful days, nothing could put a bright ray of sun in Jon's office like me putting Camille's head into his office and then pulling her out.  She would laugh and scream at this game of peek a boo.  

Investing sometimes takes patience and faith. It always involves sacrifice. You give up your money now and forgo using it on a thing or experience and put it away.  You invest it.  And you hope that by putting it away for later it will increase and grow and later you will be able to do more with it than you could have done using it today.  You give up something good now for something better later.  That is one definition of sacrificing.  Sacrificing is essentially investing.

I feel very invested now.  Invested in heaven. Invested in Camille.  It will take patience and faith but I know in the end I will get even more out of my experience as her mother later than I would now. Surly there is no safer investment than putting your assets with the Lord. This is the bright hope to which I cling--that when I am able to raise her I will be able to give her all the love and attention and affection that I am now longing to give her in her absence.  Here she had to share my attention with siblings and mundane stresses.  Later she will have the full attention of a host of loved ones all wanting to hold her and be with her.  Jon and I will be foremost among them, followed closely by her sisters. She will be showered with more love and attention than we could humanly give her at this time. And the pain we feel now will only make that time all the sweeter.


Hope. Faith. Patience.
We have laid our treasure up for more enjoyment on a later day.  
We are invested.  
I am invested.

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

Stephanie: What an awesome analogy!

Karen said...

I have been following your story via a link on Rachael's blog. Thank you for sharing with us - your strength and weakness, your joy and sorrow. This was a beautiful piece.

Rach said...

Hi Steph. I've been out of the loop with a bum computer but I've been thinking about and praying for your family every day.

Do you ever stop and think about how God has set you up to help you out during these difficult times? I know he set things in motion and in place so that I could have all the help and support I possibly could while on this journey.

HUGS!

Robin said...

I'm sorry. I know that this is a hard time. Our youngest daughter died 2 years ago. I was reading Rachael's blog and read about your family. Thankfully we have the gospel. It does not make missing her any less we just understand the plan.

christieadelle said...

A Daily Scoop. How fitting. Your words have become my daily scoop of inspiration, love, faith, hope, peace, etc. I come to work, log in to my computer. Check my email, check my bank accounts, check my investments, and check your blog. How many days do you have to do something for it to become a habit? 27 I think.

Isn't it interesting that the Lord prepares a way for us? He doesn't prevent us from going through it, he just prepares the way and lets us go. Your story reminds me of a time about a year and a half ago when a job oppurtunity fell in my lap. I wasn't looking for a job. I was staying home with my children. But things were tight for my husband and I and it was a great job. I felt I needed to take it, even if it was just for a little while. I felt it was some how a blessing from the Lord. At the time I had no idea I would be getting a divorce a few months later. I truely had no clue. Things weren't great in my marriage, but some information came to me that indicated that things were far worse than I had realized. I knew I had to leave.

Thank you Lord for inspiring me to take the job. I need it now to support myself and children. Obviously the Lord was doing the same for you. Little miracles. Little miracles.

Sarah Striblen said...

Beautiful analogy- We all are still praying and thinking of your beautiful family.

Crystal D said...

What a really beautiful post. Thank you for putting this so eloquently, it is a lovely reminder.

Marleen said...

Investing in the Lord will reap rewards we can only imagine. How soothing those thoughts can be though. When the time comes, I'm sure in contrast to the reward this sacrifice will have seemed small. That feeling may never come during mortality but it is something to look forward to. You have such an amazing grasp on how His plan works for us. I'm so blest to have you in my family and to be able to learn so much from you and Jonathan. Love you.

Ben said...

You dont know me, Im a relative of a relative of a friend. Your story is so moving. Thank you for sharing. I love the analogy of this post. It really puts out Heavinly Fathers love into a new perspective for me.

Amber said...

Stephanie- we don't know eachother. I found your blog through a friend's when she responded to a challenge you posed. I just wanted you to know the your story has inspired me to be a better mom and to live the gospel more fully. I can tell you have a testimony and I'm sure that you and your family are being watched over and comforted through this hard time. Thank you for giving me more strength through your inspiring words.

kdskids said...

Wow! It is amazing how you can see everything with such insight, while you are still in the middle of it all.

I had a difficult time when I found out about Nathan's disability. It wasn't until I was down the road a bit that I could look back and see the blessings.
(I guess some of us just aren't quick learners... =] )

You continue to amaze me and countless others. I remember when you were giving your talk in church. The analogy you made about Christ being our public defender, was an "Ah Ha" moment for me.

You have a gift that allows you to make these wonderful comparisons. Thank you for sharing, and helping us to understand.

You are a wonderful teacher. I pray that we will all learn and take away what we can. So that we too will be able to stand up against the storms of life and be able to cast our eyes upward as you have done.

Thank you Stephanie and Jonathan for being willing to share with us at this difficult time. You are truly amazing.

Hugs, Kathy

JOSH AND LISA MCINTYRE said...

Hi. I am totally blog stalking right now. I married into a family who is related to the Waite family through the grandfather. That is how I heard about your dear, sweet daughter Camille. I check up on you everyday to see how things are going for you and your family. I cannot help but be inspired by your faith, courage and love of the gospel. I am a convert and I was married in the temple to my wonderful husband and we now have two girls of our own. My heart breaks for you right now, but I also know, as you do, that you will be with Camille for eternity. It is amazing to me how such a simple thing can bring so much peace and security. In your post titled "blessings, blessings, blessings" you wrote something so profound, about how Camille is the unbreakable tie that will allign your life with His will. I quoted that in my journal and read it everyday so as not to forget the small things that need to be done to ensure my return home to my Father in heaven. Thank you so much....

kathryn said...

Very touching post Steph! Thank you!
Love, Kathryn

MaryClaire said...

I LOVE that post. I think the thought that continues recurring in my mind as I think of you is that I'm so sorry that you had to make such a huge sacrifice so that camille's life could be such an incredible blessing for so many others. But, I think I've failed to look further and also see that not only are we all blessed by what she has taught us, but in the long run you and she will be blessed beyond measure as well. I'm impressed with you that you've been able to see that. It seems that your perspective lately has been returning to the positive. I'm proud of you for being able to think that way so quickly. You are amazing!
MaryClaire

Heather Munson said...

Hi Stephanie...You don't know me...but I am a "photography friend" of Elizabeth's.

I am soo sorry for you family's loss and you have been in my prayers. I have talked about you with elizabeth and just want you know how much I enjoy coming to your blog and reading your words.

Your words are comforting and have opened a whole new perspective of life and death for me!

About a month or two ago..I sent in my application for the NILMDT (Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep Foundation). I was accepted but VERY hesitate in pursuing this further. Didn't know if I could acutally go forth with something like this 1 I know I have a talent and that I should use my talent for greater purpose!

Just wanted to let you know that through reading your blog and elizabeth's I gone forth with this and hope I am able to provide a family someday with memories of their child forever.!

god bless you!

Stone Crew said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you... For being so open and sharing your testimony with so many. This is the first time I've viewed your blog and I've really enjoyed getting to know you and your family. It reminded me of June's Visiting Teaching Message. President Spencer W. Kimball shares, "If we looked at mortality as the whole of existence, then pain, sorrow, failure, and short life would be calamity. But if we look upon life as an eternal thing stretching far into the premortal past and on into the eternal post-death future, then all happenings may be put in proper perspective."
Sorry to duplicate if you've already received this. But, I believe you are there. You have the proper perspective. You are a strength to so many. Thank you- I will keep you in my prayers.
ashlee

Darleen said...

I remember you mentioning your personal investment in the eternal life at the funeral and it has stuck in my mind since. An investment I want to be apart of. Interesting that you wrote this post today. I was just thinking this morning about how Jon use to travel so much and how that must of been really hard for you. And then the thought came into my mind that now he works at home and his girls get to see him all the time. I'm so glad him and Camille had that close relationship. She sure loved her Dado.

KEYLIMER said...

I love the messages you share in your blog posts. In the Ensign magazine this last month, it encourages us LDS members to share the gospel via the internet. You are doing just that; not only for those readers who don't share our faith, but to your fellow members who's testimonies and perspectives need a little lift. Thank you for all of your thoughts. Our prayers for you continue.

Lauren said...

You don't know me, but I had a friend who told me about your story. I am so, so sorry to read of your loss. You have a beautiful family and I truly admire how you've stayed strong. Thank goodness for our knowledge of the Gospel and for the love of our Heavenly Father. I will pray for you and your family and know that someone is thinking kind thoughts of you and those you love in Arizona.

Amanda said...

WOW- I don't think you could have said that any better. You are helping so many out there that know you and that don't know you (I am one). Your words bring me great comfort in my life. Hang in there!!!!!!

kristi lee said...

I found your blog through my friend, Jori who I believe is a friend of Darleen. Your words are so beautiful. I have spent the last hour tearfully pouring over your words and love. . .they are inspiring.

The Lemmermann's said...

you dont know me but my heart breaks for your loss. Reading you blog has made me see being a mother in a whole new light, and makes me want to cherish every moment. Thank you

Stephanie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stephanie said...

How wonderful that Jon got to spend so much time with Camille. It is such a blessing to see the hand of God in our decisions and in our life's path. I know the most fulfilling times in my life have been when I could feel my life was fulfilling God's purpose for me. Although in the moment, I could not always articulate the reason, I had peace knowing for whatever reason, our circumstances were God's will. From the outside looking in, these times may have seemed stressful, undesirable, bleak, or generally unhappy; yet, I was content in my knowledge of God's will.

What a treasure in heaven you have. A great investment indeed!

Lindsay Christensen said...

We had a lesson in relief society today about dealing with the loss of a loved one. The sister teaching had read your blog and shared with us one of your postings. I just wanted to tell you that I admire your faith. You are such a strong woman. My husband and I lost a baby boy back in december. I was 20 weeks pregnant with him when his heart unexpectedly stopped beating. He was absolutely perfect in every way. And I know that he just needed his little body for those short five months. I am so thankful for the gospel which teaches that we will have to oppertunity to raise our little ones in the Celestial Kingdom. I look forward to that day!! Can you imagine raising children without having to worry about the temptations they will have to face, or the pain they will have to endure?? What JOY that will be! My heart and prayers go out to you and your sweet family. And, thank you again for your testimony and faith.