Sunday, February 14, 2010

To My Little Valentine

Dear Camille,
Today I wrote love notes to each of your sisters and made them heart shaped chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. I whispered sweet love secrets in your brothers ear and held him close to me before putting him to bed. I gave each of your siblings a little Valentine gift. Your Dado and I made a delicious Beef Wellington together for our Valentine's dinner. It was super tasty. 

But what am I to do for you? How am I to tell you of my love for you? I wore my necklace with your picture on it today. I wanted to feel you with me even if it was just in that little way. Tonight I will write this love note to you and send it off into cyberspace. Somehow it just feels more "sent" this way than if I just write it down on a piece of paper that will just get stored away in my house somewhere.

So on this Valentine's Day, my sweet angel girl, I want to thank you. Thank you for all you have taught me. Thank you for allowing me to be your mother and to love you here on Earth for the time you were here. Thank you for creating a Celestial room in my heart where you will forever reside and where my love for you can blossom safely. 

I love you. I loved you because you were mine. I loved you because you made me smile. I loved your adventurous spirit. I loved your tactile curiosity. I loved you because you were simply the most beautiful little treasure of a girl. And now you are gone. And I love you all the more. 

I love you now for the work you are doing. I love you for the spirit you bring into our lives and our home. I love you for showing me, your dad, your brother and your sisters how important it is for us to follow Heavenly Father's plan for us to return home to Him. I love you for loving me despite all my imperfections and shortcomings. 

I miss you. You must know how I miss you. 

I miss you, but I am going to be okay. I am going to be patient as I wait for the day when I can hold you and kiss you and love you in person again. I am going to be happy and joyful and serviceable to others in honor of you my dear. I am going to feel all the textures of life for you. 

You are my heavenly Valentine and I pray you will know of this note to you this day and all the love that is sent in it. I love you my little Cami!
Your Mama