Tuesday, June 24, 2008


Sabrina said to me last night that she didn't want things to be normal again.  She doesn't want to do the normal things like going to bed and going to school.  Mostly I think she just didn't want to go to bed and have to go to school when she has cousins still in town.  But in my heart I was agreeing with her for different reasons.  I know it is best for me to get back into a routine.  My head tells me this and I am forcing myself to do it for my children and in an effort not to slip into an unproductive depression.  Still in my heart I feel like it just isn't normal here without Camille.  Actually, it has felt a little bit like Heaven here with all our family surrounding us.  We had more family here this weekend than we did for our wedding. (My twin brothers were on their missions when we got married.)  Now family members are taking their leave one by one and little by little the normal is returning. I know that is good and necessary but it feels like that little bit of Heaven is slipping away with the return of the "normal."  And with this I feel her absence more each day.  It just shouldn't be normal without her here.

I guess the Lord gives us the chores of the everyday to help us navigate the stormy seas of the life.  The normal keeps us from sinking our ships in a sea of endless sorrow. 

Never thought I would thank the Lord for the blessing of living only by the sweat of your brow.  Speaking of which, I guess I should go make my brow start sweating.