Thursday, January 7, 2010

A Few Scattered Thoughts

I am tired. I have been pretty exhausted at the end (who am I kidding... by 2 pm) of every day this week. I am not sure if it is just getting back into the routine after the holidays or the lack of sleep with teething Noble is catching up to me. But I want to record a few thoughts of the day.

1) Can Of Worms - A Sign of Healing:

I knew I was opening a can of worms with my last post. I know full well that the Health Care Debate is rather heated. That is part of the reason I have stayed on the sidelines. But I felt ready to open that can and see how I felt about the worms.

See before Camille's death I had no problem delving into wormy cans and digging around in them. I love debating issues. I am an attorney for goodness sake. After Camille's death I was so emotionally fragile that I could not go near "worms" of any kind. I just couldn't handle it. I tried to stay as far away from controversy as possible. I didn't want any type of debate. I just needed love.

So it has been interesting to me to see all the comments on my last post and note that I feel fine sifting through them. I have found many of the comments rather enlightening. I think it is good to get perspectives on what health care is like in other countries. I also have appreciated some of the quotes shared. I still am not sure what the path is I fully endorse but I think everyone should have health insurance. The problem is that in the real world there are many who cannot get it or cannot afford it.

Take me for example. I am a healthy 35 year old non smoking, non drinking, physically fit woman who has only been to the hospital for pregnancy reasons. But I have very mild asthma so I have to have an inhaler. I don't use it very much but every once in a while I need it. The cheapest health insurance we could find for me is almost $500 a month. Now I am insured. But that is because my husband makes enough money to pay for the insurance.

What of the family where a person has a history of high blood pressure of some other pre existing condition? What of the person between jobs or who is struggling just to put a roof over head and food on the table. Surely shelter and food are more important priorities than insurance.

There needs to be an affordable solution.

See - nice to be able to dig into the worms a bit and not feel emotionally fragile about it. Healing. Definitely healing.

2) Lauren and I were running lots of errands today. Here is one of our conversations:

Lauren: I want Grandma and Nana to be little girls.
Mama: When they are in heaven they get to be younger again.
Lauren: How do you know that?
Mama: Heavenly Father tells us so.
Lauren: He can't do that!
Mama: Sure He can. He tells the prophet and the prophet tells us.
Lauren: HA HA HA hee hee hee! Mama ... You are Hi. LAR. ious!!! You are Hilarious Mama!

Apparently we need a family home evening on how Heavenly Father reveals truths to his children. Hmmm.

3) Tonight driving home from my last errand with all the kids in the car (minus Noble who was asleep at home with Dad) I got told all about how I am the meanest mom in the universe. I guess that is what telling kids they have to go to bed when the get home at 8:30 p.m. makes me. :) I also apparently NEVER do anything. I never do any house work or anything.

Geez I wonder how I got so tired then.

Before the kids got in bed. Sabrina broke down in tears, hugging me and sobbing. "I am so sorry Mama! I am so sorry that I said those things in the car." She is such a tender hearted little girl. It is a gift.

4) Noble -- He may drool like a puppy but he eats like a horse.

So many people in the last week have commented on his eyes. "What blue eyes! They are so pretty. Who else in your family has them?" He is getting bigger (probably because of all that food he is eating. Every time I get baby food at the grocery store they ask me how many babies I am buying for or how this should last me a month. No just one baby and just for a week or so.) And as he gets bigger he reminds us more of his sister. "His sister Camille. That's who else had these eyes."

This morning for breakfast he ate 2 Gerber tubs of baby food and a full large cereal bowl of rice and oatmeal cereal mixed with the left over smoothie Jon made. Then he ate a handful of Cheerios. Where is he putting it all?

5) I have put a thought about every other kid so I better add one about Ann Marie. Today we went to violin lessons. She did awesome. She learned how to shift. After playing for a while she said her back was feeling sore. So she did the downward facing dog. Then she did another yoga move. Then another. Each move was perfect. The teacher was so impressed. "Her yoga positions are really good." Hmmm. "Yeah," I replied. "Not sure where she learned them. I have never done yoga before." I think she was making the moves up as she went.

Okay Now I am thinking I better get up to bed. Goodnight y'all.