Thanks everyone for your comments. I have been feeling much more sunny today. Slowly the skies are clearing and the weather is warming. :) Now for today's post.
Tonight after I got home from church duties, I ran upstairs to kiss my little girls goodnight. Jonathan had them all tucked in bed. He is so good. Then he and I went to our room to talk before he went to sleep. While we were talking we had a visitor. It was Ann Marie.
"Well, I just wanted to tell you that I am having a hard time sleeping because the other girls are playing and I was really wanting to get some good rest because I wanted to play school tomorrow and so I wanted some really good rest and it is really hard because Sabrina and Lauren are being so loud because they are playing so I can't sleep."
About 1/10 of the way through this speech Jon went to go separate the girls so they would go to sleep. I sat and listened to the rest of the "explanation" for Annie's inability to sleep thinking how logical and like me this little girl in front of was. She has my eyes and my seriousness. She is in some ways so much like her father but in most ways she reminds me so much of me.
Then after she went back to bed Jon and I talked some more till we heard more voices coming from down the hall. I went to investigate. This time I found Sabrina and Annie talking. I threatened Sabrina with separation if I heard any more noise. Sabrina hates to be alone. It is the worst form of punishment for her to be separated at night. She loves people and she loves her sisters. She, like me, doesn't like to be alone.
Then I closed the door and looked in at my little Lauren all alone in her bedroom (which hasn't been slept in for months.) Her little self reminds me so much of how I used to look (only with different hair) when I was young. She is the 3rd child. I was the 3rd child. My heart ached to see her alone. So I went in to snuggle her.
Her little hands played with mine - larger versions of the same hands. I marveled at how small her hands are and how somehow they will grow to be as large as mine. I wished I could freeze time and keep her there with her little mini me hand in mine forever. I am savoring these days of little hands and little feet. I see in my girls little pieces of the best parts of me.
One of the greatest gifts of motherhood is seeing little pieces of yourself shine in your children. It immortalizes mothers so long as their posterity lives.