Monday, May 18, 2009

Living in the Round

Morgan Noble Waite
7 days old
taken by Lesli Streets

I am back to living in the continual round of diaper changing, feeding, burping, feeding, diaper changing again, burping again, sleeping some only to be awoken by a cry to feed again. It is a world unto itself. I call it the newborn cocoon. You lose all track of time and days all seem to run together. It is a tiring time. It is an emotional time with hormones on top of tiredness. But this more than most, it has been a sweet and precious time.

I have been treasuring the gift I have been given in being able to mother this healthy little son. Each child is a treasure and every day we have them a gift to us from their Maker. I am hyper aware of this reality now. 

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

The Lord gave to me, and gave to me, and gave to me, and then he gave again. Then he took from me and now he gives once more. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

There are moments, in the quiet sleepy hours, when I am beset with sorrow and missing for the daughter who would have been ...

But mostly there is peace. Peace in the sleeping face of the son who would not yet be but for the loss. Peace in knowing how much good has come from our sorrow. Peace in knowing all is well and right as it is.

It is a sweet and tender time in this newborn cocoon. Heaven's breath still on his lips, all the rest of us mourners suck it in quenching our thirst for the sweetness of his newborn perfection.