I love this picture. I have a flower in my mind that reminds me of each of my girls. They each know their flower and why it reminds me of them. Camille's flower is the tulip. It is delicate and beautiful and it grows to the light in its own beautiful way. My sister in law Elizabeth took this photo of a giant vase of tulips that her parents, who are serving as mission presidents in Africa, sent to the funeral. It is peaceful looking and the drop of water on the stem almost looks like a tear. It makes me remember the peace inside me, despite the tears.
Today, we went to church. It was a harder day for me. I just woke up missing Camille. Then I had some pretty important talks with our kids about the Lord and His plan for us. Next we were off to church. Church was good but I was still just missing wrestling my baby. Never thought I would miss wresting my nap deprived baby. But it was good to go.
I have no doubt most who have read this blog know I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am devout in my faith. I had an experience when I was 14 studying my faith for a year and praying to have an answer from God about whether or not this faith my parents had taught me about was real and true. I got a physical and profound answer that it was in fact true and the Joseph Smith really saw God the Father and Jesus Christ in answer to his prayer to find the true religion. Since that day, I have tried very hard to live my religion. I have made my share of mistakes, but my faith has never wavered. I have found answers when I have needed them. I have found peace in stormy trials. I haven't always liked the roads the Lord has led me to travel. But I have traveled them in faith, KNOWING the Lord knew me and loved me and would not allow me to feel any pain that was not necessary for my salvation. I have had some pretty low points where I didn't understand why the Lord would lead me down a painful and unproductive path. But I never have doubted that He loved me and was doing what was in my best interest. Later he has shown me that the path he led me down was the easier of two painful paths. I trust the Lord implicitly. Even now.
And I have always been glad to be a member of my church. First off, I knew from God that this is His church on the earth. That is really all the reason I need to be an active member. Second, I owe the Savior my life. He has paid too big a debt for me for me not to follow Him and obey Him. Lastly, there are so many social benefits to being a member that I LOVE being a member of my church.
Now I have a new reason to add to my list of why I am a member of my church. My church teaches us that families are eternal and the relationships we have on earth can continue in the heavens. Specifically, God has restored the sealing power Christ gave to Peter to the earth today and families can be sealed together on this earth by one holding that authority. My husband and I were married in the Las Vegas Temple. There one with authority from God, sealed my husband and I together not just till death did we part but for time and all eternity. Included in that sealing were all future children we would have. If we live worthy and pure, Jon and I will be able to raise Camille to her full maturity after the resurrection. I have always heard this taught at church and felt it was true. But now it is the foremost reason in my mind to be a member of my church and to live worthy of that blessing.
I am grateful for the faith I have that has been tried and tested through trials. It is my life line on these hard days. I have purposefully tried not to be too preachy in this blog thus far. I would not push my faith on anyone but I will invite all who read to learn more about my faith by visiting www.mormon.org.
Going to church helped me feel better. Especially meeting with the young women. Serving helps. Thank you all again for your prayers, of whatever faith you may be. I know the Lord loves each of His children here on earth and listens to each prayer uttered. May we all strive to learn and live His will. I know the new reason I will be doing just that ...
(For those of you wondering about Sabrina, she is fine. She was overly exhausted not able to fall asleep as early as necessary and up early for school for too many days. When that happens she wakes throwing up, throws up all morning then get a good nap and is fine. Just a funny way her body has of forcing her to rest. None of the rest of us are feeling queasy.)