Sunday, October 7, 2012

Golden Moments

I have about 5 posts in my head. Some of them I am not sure I even want to post. Sometimes it is scary to announce certain parts of your life to the world on the internet. And there are always parts of my life I do not talk about so publicly. I try not to write about things that involve other people who may not want publicity.

But I have been rather preoccupied with some decisions and changes in my life that I think I am ready to write about, even though being public about it is a little scary. But before we get to that. I just have to say how much I have enjoyed this General Conference of the LDS Church. There was a talk in the first session by Elder Bowen that spoke directly to my heart and the hearts of all my other angel parent friends. Thank you Elder Bowen for sharing!

I also loved Elder Cook's talk and Elder Nelson's.

I love the little moments of motherhood that are like drops of gold into my heart. I have had several this conference session watching with my kids. Sure we have mostly barely managed chaos as we watch but every once in a while there are moments of clarity and great spirit that remind me what this life is all about.

Yesterday, watching Elder Bowen's talk was one of those. Noble ran over to me and told me they were talking about a baby who died. He recognized that our family is similar. Elder Bowen at one point talks about how natural it is to ask "Why Me?" when such things happen. Sabrina looked over at me and said, "not you mama." I winked at her. I am glad she knows that I never asked that question. I know it is natural to ask it and most, including Elder Bowen do ask it. But I never did. I had been too blessed and too aware of all my many blessing in life to ask why a bad thing would happen. Bad things happen to us all. I knew that. So why should I expect to be exempt? I just have never felt entitled to the blessings I have been given. Instead I tried to follow the advice Elder Scott gave in a talk once and tried instead to ask "What can I learn from this?" I was glad Sabrina saw that in me and hope she will learn from it. We all must pass through hard trials in this life. The trick it to learn from them.

Another golden moment came as we played a board game with the girls between sessions today. We all worked together in one part of the game, giving up our own interests to benefit the whole. I loved that. I loved seeing my girls getting along and working together. Few things bring a mother greater joy than seeing her children being loving with each other. I also loved that Lauren (who apparently got bored with our bored game) made up her own objective in the game of just collecting sheep. She used her game pieces to build a little corral and put her sheep cards in the corral.

I love that Noble told me several times that he was going to miss me (out of the blue) as he was coloring and watching conference. He told me he was going to go there (to conference) but that he was going to miss me. "My heart likes the music and it wants to go there," he says. There is no doubt children can feel that sweet peace of the Spirit when we invite in into our home.

So that has been our General Conference weekend. Actually, I think I will put my news of some of the changes around here in a new post to go out tomorrow. This post seems long enough. So, till tomorrow.