Girl's Night

This month I have had 2 "girls weekends" planned. My second one is starts tomorrow with the arrival of my two California sister in laws. My mom, sister, three sister in laws and I are going to spend a weekend here in Vegas together with no husbands or kids. I am sure it will be so fun. It always is with this group. It doesn't even matter what we are doing. I just love all of them and it is fun to be together.

Planning these girls weekends got me thinking about my own little girls. So I decided to do our own "girl's nights" in between my "girls weekends." So, for the last three nights I have had a "girl's night" with each of my girls individually. 

Monday night Lauren wanted to have a bubble bath in Mom's tub. This was followed by coloring together, eating ice cream together, going out to look at the stars together and then reading together. Jonathan slept in another room so Lauren could sleep in Mom's bed with Mom and watch the city lights out of our bedroom window as we fell asleep. She insisted on sleeping on "Mom's" side of the bed. So I went to Jon's side only to have her move 3/4 of the way across our king size mattress to lay right next to me. :)

Sabrina's night was next. She planned out our night with a list. After the others were in bed, she wanted to watch a show with me, eat ice cream, color, and read more of her book. She is reading The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis. Luckily for me she was at my favorite part where Aslan delivers himself to the witch in place of Edmund. We talked about the symbolism and she figured it out without any help. I love that book. After a couple of chapters of reading, we too fell asleep looking at the city lights.

Ann Marie's date was last night. It was much the same as the others. The night started with watching a show, then coloring, star gazing, researching constellations on the internet. Then she "tested" me on my knowledge of Primary songs. She told me a song to sing. I had to sing it and if I messed up a word I had to start over. I had to learn about 6 songs perfectly. Lastly we went upstairs to go to bed. Jon's back demanded our bed back. So Annie and I went to sleep in the nursery where there is a queen size bed. 

Together, we went through some of the Camille only things and filled the cedar chest with all her things. We organized some of the other bins of baby clothes and blankets. We shared our favorite memories of Camille and then went to sleep.

Before crawling in bed we said our prayers. Unlike normal, I said my personal prayer aloud and focused my prayer on that child, how grateful I am for her, what I hope for her, and how much she is loved.

I know once our baby Noble comes out, these "alone" times will be sparse and I want each of my girls to know how individually loved they are. I enjoyed our "girl's nights" and hope to do many more in the coming years.

Done Sorting

Yesterday I went to my mom's to sort through the baby stuff. My dad had brought it out of the garage to the house for me to sort. After an hour or so with my Mom and sister in law Rachel helping, I had gone through all the boxes. It wasn't as emotionally difficult as I had anticipated. It was a little harder than doing Lauren's clothes but it helped so much to have Rachel and my mom by my side to keep me moving.

At the end of it I was sad to see that everything that was "Camille's only" fit easily into one small box. I had so many baby girl clothes. I sent 9 big bags to charity and still had about 3 really big storage bins of special baby clothes to put into quilts. Before we left, I went out to the garage to see what else there was to bring home. 

There I found more boxes my dad had not seen. I was only half done with the job. So I went back today and finished the sorting. In this load I found all the dresses I bought specifically for Camille. I filled a laundry basket of "Camille only" clothes and felt so much better. In some ways it is nice to have so little that was specifically HERS. All our baby gear is gender neutral and has been through all the kids so it won't be hard to watch another kid use it.

On the other hand, I am glad I do have a few things that were only hers. These things I can put in a hope chest and take out on the days I need to feel close to her. I can see how small she was and remember the day I bought the outfit with her in mind and the days she wore them. They become little pieces of her. It is so good to have a nice pile of little pieces of her life here with us.

Now I just have to find an organized way and place to store all these boxes. Ah another chore for tomorrow...

How Do You Feel It?

I have a reader with whom I have been communicating via comments on a post from the past. She recently ordered a Book of Mormon and has begun reading it. I hope she grows to love this book as much as I do and that it can give her all the blessings it has given to me. 

Let me quote her last comment: "I have started to read the Book of Mormon. I am really enjoying the sense of comfort and realization that it is beginning to give me. I pray every time before I start to read it, and also when I decide to put the bookmark in and pick up again later. I pray that I will be told and lead to the truth. Nothing has happened yet, but I'm praying and hoping that something will happen soon."

I want to respond to her here in a post because it is easier to type than a comment and I thought others may be interested in hearing or adding to my response by sharing their own testimony of how they felt that led them to believe the Book of Mormon.

So this is to my Anon friend and anyone else reading the Book of Mormon and wanting to know if it is true or be led to truth.

I am so happy you have started reading this wonderful book. For me to hear you are reading it is like when you have a very favorite book or treat or person and someone to whom you have recommended that thing goes to try it out. You are so excited for them to love it like you do. You know?

I am glad you are praying before and after reading it. That will certainly help you in your quest for truth. I wanted to give you some references on what you should be expecting to "happen" as you read and pray. One of my references will come from the Bible. One will come from the Book of Mormon itself. And one will come from my own experience.

First from the Book of Mormon: I will quote from the book of Alma (it is in the middle of the Book) chapter 32 verses 26 to the end of the Chapter. Here a prophet in the Ancient Americas is teaching a group of humble people. This chapter stuck out to me particularly for you because you initially wrote about wanting to find a desire to learn and build on that desire.

This chapter explains through a parable what should happen in your heart when you encounter Truth. 

26 Now, as I said concerning faith—that it was not a perfect knowledge—even so it is with my words. Ye cannot know of their surety at first, unto perfection, any more than faith is a perfect knowledge.

  27 But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than^adesire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.

  28 Now, we will compare the word unto a ^aseed. Now, if ye give place, that a ^bseed may be planted in your ^cheart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your ^dunbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to ^eenlighten my ^funderstanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.

  29 Now behold, would not this increase your faith? I say unto you, Yea; nevertheless it hath not grown up to a perfect knowledge.

  30 But behold, as the seed swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, then you must needs say that the seed is good; for behold it swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow. And now, behold, will not this strengthen your faith? Yea, it will strengthen your faith: for ye will say I know that this is a good seed; for behold it sprouteth and beginneth to grow.

  31 And now, behold, are ye sure that this is a good seed? I say unto you, Yea; for every seed bringeth forth unto its own ^alikeness.

  32 Therefore, if a seed groweth it is good, but if it groweth not, behold it is not good, therefore it is cast away.

  33 And now, behold, because ye have tried the experiment, and planted the seed, and it swelleth and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, ye must needs know that the seed is good.

  34 And now, behold, is your ^aknowledge ^bperfect? Yea, your knowledge is perfect in that thing, and your ^cfaith is dormant; and this because you know, for ye know that the word hath swelled your souls, and ye also know that it hath sprouted up, that your understanding doth begin to be enlightened, and your ^dmind doth begin to expand.

  35 O then, is not this real? I say unto you, Yea, because it is ^alight; and whatsoever is light, is ^bgood, because it is discernible, therefore ye must know that it is good; and now behold, after ye have tasted this light is your knowledge perfect?

  36 Behold I say unto you, Nay; neither must ye lay aside your faith, for ye have only exercised your faith to plant the seed that ye might try the experiment to know if the seed was good.

  37 And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow, ye will say: Let us nourish it with great care, that it may get root, that it may grow up, and bring forth fruit unto us. And now behold, if ye nourish it with much care it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit.

  38 But if ye ^aneglect the tree, and take no thought for its nourishment, behold it will not get any root; and when the heat of the sun cometh and scorcheth it, because it hath no root it withers away, and ye pluck it up and cast it out.

  39 Now, this is not because the seed was not good, neither is it because the fruit thereof would not be desirable; but it is because your ^aground is ^bbarren, and ye will not nourish the tree, therefore ye cannot have the fruit thereof.

  40 And thus, if ye will not nourish the word, looking forward with an eye of faith to the fruit thereof, ye can never pluck of the fruit of the ^atree of life.

  41 But if ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with ^apatience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree ^bspringing up unto everlasting life.

  42 And because of your ^adiligence and your faith and your patience with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold, by and by ye shall pluck the ^bfruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst.

  43 Then, my brethren, ye shall ^areap the ^brewards of your faith, and your diligence, and patience, and long-suffering, waiting for the tree to bring forth ^cfruit unto you.

So as you read the Book of Mormon you are planting and nourishing that seed of faith. You should feel it grow and swell feelings of the Spirit in your heart. To better understand what those "feelings" of the Spirit are let us turn to the Bible: In Galatians 5:22 we read "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith." 

It is these feelings that you should have when you encounter Truth. Peace is something that is a tale tale sign of the Spirit. I think when you feel the peace of the Spirit it can be subtle but it is a signature sign of the Spirit and Truth. 

Lastly, I will share my own experience. I have shared this before but it is always worth repeating. For me, I had read the Book of Mormon and loved the stories. But I was waiting for something to "happen" too. I was waiting for some great big revelation. I wasn't sure what but something. I prayed for a year waiting for this.

Then one day I was in a testimony meeting (a meeting where people stand and share their feelings about the Book of Mormon, God, Jesus Christ, Prophets, or a number of other gospel subjects) and people were up sharing their feelings. As I sat there wishing I had something "happen" that would let me KNOW the Truth, I suddenly realized that my heart was burning. I say realized because it wasn't that it started to burn. It was that I became aware that it had been burning for some time and I was just now realizing it. 

By burning I mean it felt warm. Like it was growing and radiating heat and love. I realized that the Lord had been telling me all along. I had felt the peace and known the Truth all along. Something had been "happening" in my heart the whole time but it wasn't until that moment that I realized it.

This realization brought me such incredible joy. I really cannot describe it. I stood and bore my own witness that was being given me right then. I grabbed something to write with and write on and wrote down my feelings telling myself NEVER to deny this truth I now KNEW. I was a aware that God knew I got the message and I would not ever deny it. 

Many different people feel the Spirit and recognize it in slightly different ways. But peace is pretty universal I think. It is an inner peace. I like to liken it to how you feel when you tell someone something that is true. There is no hesitation or feeling of unrest in your soul. Now think of when you tell someone something that is a lie. There is a reason lie detectors work. You body feels it is lying. 

The same feeling of peace or unrest comes to me as I learn things. This is especially true for me when I speak a truth or write it.

I would invite others to share how they felt when they came to a knowledge that the Book of Mormon is true. And to my "Anon" friend I say keep up the good work. I have faith that you will find the Truth you seek. I will keep praying for you in your efforts. 

7 Months

For personal record keeping, I want to note how I am doing with this pregnancy. I just passed the 7 month mark last week. It is likely that 2 months from now I will have a newborn. I am anxious to be there. 

I have definitely hit the 3rd trimester in full force. My joints are loosening. I waddle wherever I go.  I have contractions (the harmless Braxton hicks kind) every evening. I am hard pressed to take a deep breath. My asthma and allergies have kicked in to welcome spring. I am currently enjoying the remnants of my head cold.

I am working to maintain my pelvic alignment to avoid the pain of symphysis pubic dysfuntion (go Google that one.) I had that pretty badly with Camille's pregnancy. I was unable to walk for more than a minute or two the last month with Camille. This pregnancy has been better with it. It has come and gone off and on but at least I know what it is this time and can takes steps to make it better.

So all in all, I am feeling 7 months pregnant with my 5th child. I think that is kind of the equivalent of how I felt a week overdue with my 2nd child. 

Noble is feeling great. He is quiet most of the day and very active when sit still at night. He stretches and rolls around all evening making my belly look like a scene from some alien movie. I can feel his back and give him rubs through the thin layer of skin and tissue that divide him from the rest of us. He is growing bigger each week and I can see his growth as my belly gets tighter.

I have settled into thinking of and calling him Noble even more now that our decision is made. Sabrina is happy about the name. Lauren says she is going to call him Peanut Morgan Noble Waite. It will be fun to see what she actually ends up calling him. I love the little names toddlers make up with their cute little voices. 

Annie says it is fine that we are naming him Morgan Noble but she will be calling him Louis (pronounced the French way "Looey"). I actually have French Canadian ancestors named Louis. My grandmother had a brother by that name and I think her grandfather's name who was French was named that. I am quite sure at least one of them is as pleased as punch and getting a good giggle at my little Ann Marie.

March seems to be moving faster than February did so far. I am happy for that and glad to be busy with work, projects, and events. Hopefully the time will pass quickly and I will soon be savoring those first precious moments of life with my little man.

Sorting Clothes

Lauren's second birthday. 

Clothes I had to sort through. 

Camille unhappy wearing one of the dresses I have yet to sort. 

Annie next to Lauren wearing a shirt Lauren is about to outgrow.

One of my "spring cleaning" chores is to sort through all the girls clothes. I started at the easiest job and did Sabrina and Ann Marie in one morning. The girls helped. Their sorting is pretty easy. The hardest part of it is trying to decide if it is really time to pass some of Annie's shirts on to Lauren. Honestly they almost wear the same size in shirts. 

So Annie has shirts that are size 4/5 that still fit and she loves. Some of these were purchased specifically for her in the last year for school clothes. And most of the 6/7 shirts are just too big for her yet.

The problem is that Lauren's size 3 shirts are all too small. So Annie has LOTS of shirts ranging in size from 4-6 and Lauren only has a few size 4 shirts. Anyway, that has been the hard part of sorting the older girls clothes. Today I tackled a MUCH more challenging feat - LAUREN'S CLOTHING.

This is a chore I have been putting off for a long time. She has grown out of almost all her size 3 clothes even though she won't be 4 till July. And she is picky about which clothes she will wear. She hates all jeans and won't wear them. I am hoping that will change in the next year or so because my other girls live in jeans. Most of the size 4 pants are jeans or jean like.

It took a long time and lots of whining from Lauren about trying on clothes and not liking any pants except her too small turtle leggings that she was wearing today, but we eventually made it through her dresser. We filled a trash bag up for charity. 

Then the really hard part hit. I found all the clothes I had hid away that she had already grown out of and I was saving for Camille. I went through all these 18-24 month and 2T clothes that Camille would have been wearing now. I could almost see her in them. 

Deep Breaths. Breathe through the contractions - heart contractions - soul contractions. Take a minute to let my heart feel the pain work through it. Tell myself to keep moving. Put the shirt in the charity pile. Oh this one is too special to give away. Put this one in the box to use as scraps to make quilts out of for the girls. Keep moving. It will be done soon enough. 

And then it was done and I had three large trash bags for charity and one large bin of special clothes that will make scraps for quilts for the girls. Someday I will have to hire someone to do that for me. Someday when they are older and I have enough special clothes for each of them to have a quilt. Clothes they wore in the photos with Camille. Clothes they just LOVED and would have worn everyday in their younger years. And clothes Camille wore. Each should have some scraps from Camille's clothes in their quilt. Someday.

Based on how hard today was, I can tell that Monday's chore of going through all the baby clothes is just going to be brutal. Keep moving. It has to be done and it will be done soon enough. Take the time to feel the pain of the contraction and know you are still alive - still loving - not past feeling. Then keep moving. And somehow it will be get done soon enough. 

A Resource

I was recently contacted by a young woman named Jami. She is a 29 year old LDS woman who became addicted to prescription drugs. She is dealing with her addiction and attending the LDS church's 12 step program classes to help her rise above the power of her addiction. 

Addiction is an isolating trial. It carries so much shame and denial. Those who suffer with addictions are often quickly judged and defined by their addictions. But this in itself is a tragedy because it is through support that addictions can be overcome and managed. 

Jami sees this and she recently started a blog to provide a place for others suffering from addictions or with loved ones suffering from addictions to go. I have had a few people email me who suffer from addictions or suffer with a loved one who is an addict. I thought this blog would be a good resource for any of us in such circumstances.

So I invite you to visit her blog and in the anonymity of your own home find a friend in Jami. Perhaps she can help others to heal through her blog as she works through her own addiction.

And to Jami -- I applaud your courage in taking this bold step and following the direction your heart has led you. May the Lord bless you in this life long journey.

Here below is Jami's self introduction to her blog:

President Boyd K. Packer said “addiction has the capacity to disconnect the human will and nullify moral agency. It can rob one of the power to decide."  Nobody wants to become an addict.  Nobody wants to lose complete control of their will and their lives.  Unfortunately, it happens.  Addiction is running rampant in the world today, and nobody is exempt from this disease.  I am a 29 year old, LDS woman who became addicted to Pain pills.  I have struggled with this addiction for years, feeling there was no way out, and feeling unworthy of my Heavenly Father’s help.  As I struggle daily with this disease I have sought the support of my loved ones, other addicts, and most importantly, my Heavenly Father.  Because addiction is an isolating disease, addicts feel very alone.  I have started this blog (www.thoughtsofanldsaddict.blogspot.com) to help those who struggle with addiction.  If we all look at ourselves and our lives, I believe we are all affected in one way or another by addiction.  Whether we struggle ourselves, or we see a loved one struggling, we are all affected.  This blog is an open book.  It is a place for people to ask questions, give advice, and feel the support of others.  It is to help both addicts and their loved ones.  It is to share experience, strength and hope, as this disease can be thwarted.  We can recover, only with the Lord’s help, one day at a time.  Please feel free to come to the site, leave comments, ask questions, or just learn.  We are not in this alone!  Thank you for your support!  Jami

Easter Ideas Please

Camille with her Easter basket last year.

Hi everyone!

So April is a big month for me as it is Camille's birthday month and it is Easter. I was thinking about this the other day. I really really want to CELEBRATE Easter in our family. I mean, I want it to be as exciting and celebratory as Christmas.  This is the celebration that Christ overcame death. That is especially worth celebrating in our family. This is the day we celebrate that Camille will live again.

Sure it is true that we must suffer the sorrow of separation and the basket of grief feelings that go with losing a child for now. But there is hope. Christ has given us hope in the promise of the gift of resurrection. I want to celebrate this gift which is to me now more precious than ever before.

I want to make it fun and joyous for little kids. I want them to anticipate Easter and the month of April as a month of celebration. I want them to feel the happiness and joy of this great gift the Savior has given us in the resurrection. 

I do not, however, want to commercialize Easter like has been done to Christmas. I am looking for fun way to make Easter more than just a day long and more exciting and fun for kids than eggs, an easter basket, and a good meal. 

Ideas anyone?

Girls Weekend Photos

Girls Weekend was such a great break from reality. Even my body cooperated by feeling better than it has of late. My three friends drove into Las Vegas and we spent the majority of the weekend sitting around chatting either over food or just in good company. Here we are in front of the famous Las Vegas sign that my great aunt designed.

Kathryn, Ann, Stephanie, and Karsen

We also treated ourselves to a little foot care. 

I love my bright pink toes!

The highlight had to be our meal at the Bouchon. We went family style. We had 3 entrees an appetizer and a side dish. All of which were delicious. This was our second round of desserts. First we each had a "Waite" less root beer float. Then these desserts came out. There are about 7 different flavors of cotton candy, profiteroles, creme caramel, creme brulee, Bouchon brownies, lemon tart, chocolate mouse, pot de creme, and I think all of our favorite for the night was the warm custard filled beignets. Oh and a package of homemade oreos and breakfast kit of granola, yogurt and fruit and a few other treats for the road. 

Seriously, talk about being totally spoiled. The yogurt was fabulous. I wish they sold it like that in the store. Thanks a million Chris!

It was so wonderful to catch up and swap stories with such great friends. It is amazing how women like us can each have different paths and yet, having a common foundation and being made of the same cloth, we find ourselves on the same page in so many ways even after so many years. This is something we will definitely have to do more often.  Miss you guys already!

Now I am home in my pjs with a nasty head cold that came on last night. I have been very blessed to not have been sick this pregnancy (well except the Fifth's disease scare in the early days). It is miserable to be sick and pregnant because you can't take drugs to help ease the sinus pain and pressure. So I am left to homeopathic remedies. 

Oh well, better now than 2 months from now when I am about to give birth right?

Girls Weekend Number 1

I am so excited. Today 3 of my favorite college friends are making their way here for a "girls getaway." They were kind enough to come to me so I would not have to travel in my highly pregnant state. My travel time will be about 25 minutes to the Venetian hotel on the strip. We have a room for the night, reservations at Bouchon, and plans to stay up talking till the wee hours.

So I am going to be "out on vacation" this weekend. Yipee!

I have yet to hear from Angie, my "winner." The prize will be some freshly baked double chocolate Otis Spunkmeyer cookies. I broke down and called corporate headquarters to find out where I could buy a case of the frozen dough. I haven't been able to find any place in Vegas that sells them. They told me there was a distributor here in Vegas from whom I could purchase a case. 

With the cravings at their peak, I set out immediately for the industrial section of North Las Vegas to find the distribution warehouse of Otis Spunkmeyer. Lauren and I found the warehouse, purchased a case of my FAVORITE cookies and hurried home to bake some up. 

I am anxious to share some of these yummy treats with my winner. I hope to hear from her soon. 

Well I am off to get ready for my "girls getaway!" Have a great weekend everyone! 

A Winner Chosen

Since nobody got 2 right and I still wanted to at least have one winner, I decided to pick one of the people who got one answer right. My favorite number is 16. So I chose the 16th person who got at least one answer right in the comments. That was "Angie." Here comment is quoted below. Angie, please email me via my email off my profile page and give me your address and I will send you your prize!

Thanks!

Stephanie

Angie said ...

I am about 100% sure I will not get even 1 of these right...but here goes:

#15: Does anyone REALLY know EXACTLY how many dates they went on before they were married?
#17: Just because the thought of it freaks me out a little:)

I was torn between #36 and #10. For some reason I seem to think I remember you mentioning something about hating to do dishes...but I could be confusing you with someone else, so....

#10 it is: you don't seem the "love to shop" type, but more the "love to find a good deal" type (and those are two TOTALLY different things;)

I'm quite sure I bombed!

Lies Revealed

That was so fun for me. I loved seeing which facts about me you found most unbelievable. Now it is time to reveal the lies:

The first lie many of you got: #10 I love to shop. 

I do not love shopping. I do like buying new things, but the shopping to find them -- that I hate. I hate trying on clothes to find something I like. I hate going store to store to find a piece of furniture I think will go in my home. If I could hire a personal shopper, I would.

The second lie one person finally got after my hint update: #18 I never got anything less than a B in law school. 

You all give me too much credit. Actually, I only got one C in Constitutional Law. I went off in my essay to my very liberal professor all about how and why obscenity should not be protected by the First Amendment. I guess he didn't like my arguments very much. :) Oh well. A C worth standing for in my eyes.  (On a separate note, I did get a D in 7th grade History. I had a terrible teacher who made us sit in class and copy his notes off the board all class. Really that was all we did - sit and copy tiny notes off the board for an hour every day. Then he would give us a test. I didn't learn well that way. I got transferred out of his class the next semester.)

The third lie that one got before my hint and another after: #33 I once saw Monica Lewinsky exiting the court after she testified before the grand jury while I was walking home from work.

I did live in DC at this time and did see all the media outside the court everyday while walking to and from work, but I never saw her. (As for the other people ones - I worked for Harry Reid before he he had the big position he now has. I was a press intern for him. He knew my grandfather well. Back in those days it was common to see him in the office when Congress was in session, even for an intern like me. And when I was in law school and my grandfather passed away, I called the office to let him know and the secretary put me straight through to him. I ended up sobbing on the phone to him and he consoled me and told me how wonderful my grandfather was.)

Now for the truths lots of people thought were lies:

#15 - Nannette  (my old college roommate) was right. I did keep track of the dates I went on (the story behind that is too long for this post). I got to 100 and that next weekend Jon called and asked if he could date me. He was already on the list because we had gone on dates before, just not as more than friends. So yes, 100 guys exactly.

#2 - I sang as a street urchin in the Nevada Opera Company's production of La Boheme. I was in sixth grade. For my age I was a good singer.

#11 - I do play the piano. I took lessons for 10 years. I just don't play nearly as well as my hubby so I don't play often anymore. 

#29 - I do crochet. Not professionally, but I have made blankets for a couple of my babies.

#35 - I lived in Spain the summer between Junior and Senior years as a foreign exchange student. There the culture of teens is to hang out in bars on the weekends. So I hung out with my friends in the bars. I just drank lots of water while they drank beer. This may also explain me speaking Spanish.

#36 - I don't love any cleaning chores, but if I had to pick favorites these are it. I like that you can see a real difference and you don't have to constantly run around to do these chores.

#7 - This is for Emily - Spain, Mexico, USA and Italy. Jon and I lived in Italy while I did a semester of law school in Florence right after we got married. I studied abroad in college in Mexico and foreign exchange in Spain as I have mentioned.

Okay gotta run this morning. Enjoy knowing the truths. Since nobody won, I will figure out how to do the prize later and post later.

Spot the Lie

One of the ideas for our next topic wanted to know more about my law school years. I am ready for a fun topic today and this gave me an idea. I have stated before that I am a very honest person by nature. It is really hard for me even to exaggerate. But one game I love to play is two truths and a lie. It is a game where you tell two true things about yourself and make up one lie and people try to guess which is the lie.

I thought it might be fun to play a grander version of this and let you all get to know some other things about me that most probably don't know. I will throw three lies into my list of random facts about me. Your challenge is to spot the lies. I will be sending a fabulous prize to three of the people who can guess all three lies correctly. You have until Wednesday morning at 8 a.m. Pacific Standard Time. I will choose the three winners randomly from those who correctly spot all three lies. Deal? I will announce the winning screen names and post their comment the next day and they can then email me their mailing addresses. Oh and my husband, parents, and siblings are exempt. In laws can play but can't ask any of my siblings for help.

I don't normally do these types of posts that are so common to blogging, but I thought it might be a fun way to let you all know a little more about the lesser know things about me.

A photo of me taken Sunday in my new apron made for me by Marylin (thanks Marylin) with two of my chefs helping make the chocolate chip pancakes.

Facts about Stephanie Waite:

1) I danced ballroom in high school.

2) I have sung in a professional opera.

3) I once got a D on a report card.

4) I was a journalist in college.

5) I have been to several press conferences at the White House.

6) I sat across a conference room table from Al Gore when he was Vice President.

7) I have lived in 4 different countries.

8) I speak Spanish.

9) I can say a few phrases in Japanese.

10) I love to shop.

11) I play the piano.

12) I learned to play a little violin when I was young.

13) I prefer Crest toothpaste.

14) I only ever kissed 7 guys in my single days.

15) I went out on dates with exactly 100 different guys before I was married.

16) I keep in touch with more of my guy friends from high school than my girl friends.

17) I helped defend the head of the Mexican mafia in Compton in a murder case.

18) I never got anything less than a B in law school.

19) I am allergic to certain metals so I have to choose my jewelry carefully.

20) I have asthma.

21) I wear contacts.

22) I have only ever had one cavity.

23) I have gotten lost in the Pyrenees on the border between France and Spain.

24) I have danced with school children in rural Kenya.

25) The first time Jon asked if he could hold my hand I told him NO. 

26) I have had pneumonia.

27) I have never broken a bone.

28) The first boy I ever kissed was a Spaniard in Spain.

29) I crochet.

30) I have grown my hair out specifically to donate it to Locks of Love.

31) I enjoy playing football.

32) I golfed on our high school golf team.

33) I once saw Monica Lewinsky exiting the court after she testified before the grand jury while I was walking home from work.

34) I am terrible at goodbyes. I never feel the full force of missing till later and often seem unemotional when saying goodbye to loved ones.

35) The summer between my junior and senior year of high school I hung out nearly every weekend in a bar.

36) My 3 favorite household chores are doing the dishes, cleaning bathrooms, and doing laundry.

37) My 3 least favorite household chores are ironing, making beds, vacuuming/mopping.

38) I have had many personal conversations (more than I could count) with Senator Harry Reid (D-NV).

39) My 3 favorite treats are Otis Spunkmeyer double chocolate chip cookies, Baskin Robbins mint chocolate chip ice cream, and homemade oreos from the Bouchon Bakery at the Venetian.

40) Three foods I really hate are olives (especially green ones), bell peppers, and capers.

41) I had a lisp when I was little.

42) When I was really little my family called me Googie.

43) As a kid my family called me Tiff.

44) Nearly everyone who messes up or forgets my name calls me Jennifer.

45) One of the other names my parents considered naming me was Lisette.

46) I have seen the musical Les Miserables 3 times, each performance was at least 3000 miles from either of the others.

47) I have never paid to send a child to preschool.

48) My best friend in crime when I was really little was a boy we called Gooey.

49) My first crush was a neighbor boy named Rob.

50) I have eaten escargot.

Okay folks begin your analysis. I can't wait to see which facts you think are the three lies. 

****** EDITED AT 2:40 PM TUESDAY *********

Okay seeing how this is harder than I imagined. I will give the prize to anyone who can get two of the lies. And I will give you a hint. Also you can vote again if you have already voted, since I am giving a hint now.

One of the lies has been guessed lots. It is one of the most popular guesses. One of the lies has only been guessed once so far. And one of the lies hasn't been guessed by anyone yet. The last comment when I wrote this was my Husbands which was the best guess ever. He did get all three lies but thought there were more than three. I had to verify a couple of the truths for him.  

An Apology

I want to apologize for getting "snippy" in my final paragraph on peoples comments about the name we chose for our son. I was just a bit shocked to find how opinionated - and willing to share their opinions - people are about what others name their kids. I guess we have never chosen a name so... different to elicit such opinions. 

I was not mad or offended, just really surprised and I wanted to put a stop to the free for all opinions (at least the unkind ones). Jon and I have never really cared if other people liked our names. I knew when I put up the Jesse poll it was a slightly dangerous option. If you read the post attached to the poll, you can see that I specifically said that it wasn't that we were going to use that name, we just had been having a debate between the two of us about whether it was gender neutral or not.

Jon thought (and still thinks) it is TOTALLY a masculine name and would never be confused for a girl name. I can see how he thinks it is totally masculine but since every "Jessie" I have known is female, I think girl when I hear it. The name was pretty much not even on the table till I asked some who work in the office at school what they thought of the name Jesse -- boy or girl - and they both said boy. That got me wondering if maybe I was the only one who thought girl when they hear the name. 

So I thought I would get a sample off the WWW and see if the name was gender neutral or not. I told Jon I would concede to his view that Jesse is a masculine name if the "boy" vote came back more than 50%. It came back at about 39%. So the poll basically told me that I was right. Jesse is thought of by most people as gender neutral. It told Jon that 61% of my readers are wrong. :)

In any case, I probably should have taken an hour to craft my response instead of just throwing my shock out there. I was just taken off guard in that I didn't expect the announcement of the name we have chosen for our baby to be as controversial as some of my posts on religion. If I had I would have written the announcement more carefully to avoid mean spirited comments like the one my husband deleted.

So, sorry about the hasty and snippy retort. I didn't mean to hurt feelings. My intent was only to put a quick stop to the opinions and request that people be kind in their comments. 

Now to move on ... lets pick a new topic.  Anyone have an opinion on what our next topic of discussion should be? 

Raising Resurrected Children

To the commenter who asked about the LDS doctrine that mother's whose child dies in youth will be able to finish raising them after the resurrection:

It is funny you should ask this right now. I just posted a comment on our angel blog to a mother who felt the same as your friend. In an effort to save time and avoid carpal tunnel :) I will just copy my comment here.

On the LDS doctrine of raising kids after the resurrection: First, you are right to think of your child as an adult. His spirit is a mature adult spirit. All of ours were before we were born and they all return to that state after we die. Your child, however, when he is resurrected will be rejoined with his body as it was when he died. Meaning, he will only be a few months old. He has no need to progress in all the spiritual ways that the rest of us do. But he cannot become like our Heavenly Father fully without the full development of his body.

I don't know what it is going to be like to raise such a child in such a time and with a resurrected body. Maybe they will be teaching us spiritual things from their cribs. I don't know. Maybe they will, like Jesus who was perfect, still have to grow mentally and emotionally as they age. But I trust that raising our children in that time will be sweeter than I can now understand or realize. I trust that it will heal all the hurt to our hearts. Somebody will have to raise each child who has died in their youth. These spirits will need to take the time to grow physically so that they can be like our Father. This will not be holding them back. It will be helping them progress.

In my case, Camille passed away just before she started talking. She was just beginning to understand and follow simple directions. I feel like I did so much of the baby work of no sleep and feedings and never got to the really rewarding part of hearing her call my name or tell me she loved me. I want that. I look forward to the day I can finish the work I started by bringing her into this world and raising her for the 14 months we had her. I believe strongly that this time raising her will be one of the sweetest experiences of my existence.

It is hard to imagine how we will feel then. But it is only important that we live worthy of any blessing we may then desire and that is ours for the having.

Hope that helps you and/or your friend understand this a bit better.

My Two Cents on Names

After reading Jon's post and some of the comments, I want to clarify a few things. 

First, I am fully aware that Morgan is more often used for girls than boys. To me it is not feminine because I grew up with a dad and grandfather and brother and male cousin and etc... all men with the name and all of them are the opposite of feminine. However I realize the name has sort of been taken over by girls. Still, with this child being our fifth child and having 4 older sisters, just like my dad; and after hearing my grandmother say SOOOO many times "FOUR girls!!! FOUR girls!!! Then I got my boy" that I can still hear her say it in my head every time I think of my four girls, I really wanted to use the name Morgan.

I didn't want to call him this because there are too many Morgans in our family. So I wanted a very strong male name that no one would mistake for a girl to be the name by which he was called. Other than wanting a veto power for any totally objectionable name Jon might jokingly come up with, I was pretty open about what to choose.

Jon really really wanted to use a family name. Now we only have so many Waite family names that pass the "not totally objectionable" threshold. Pretty much John, Noble, William and Jesse are it. I like all those names but I didn't want to do Jesse with Morgan because then both names are gender neutral. John is a great name but Jon didn't want two John or Jon's in our little family. I agree with him on that. I really like the name William, but with Waite? Will Waite? Hmm. No. That left us to Noble or picking a non Waite family name. 

Jon's grandfather who went by Noble was an incredible man and the family recently put out a biography on him. There are great stories in the book about him. He died young and while Jon never got to meet him, we have recordings of his voice and him bearing his testimony. I personally, LOVE the name Noble and have always wanted to use it. 

So I just wanted to give my side of the Jesse debate since Jon's post made him out to be such the martyr. 

Now as for some of the comments -- people really. If I wanted an opinion poll of this name, I would have put one up. I don't really care what anyone thinks of the name we have chosen, but in the comments why don't we try to be polite and not write anonymously what we wouldn't say to a person to their face. Thanks.

And the Name is...

As you may or may not have surmised, I am the one who loves the name Jesse for a boy. My wife, in a state of wild delusion, believes the name to be gender neutral. Apparently, when stating our children’s names, Sabrina, Ann Marie, Lauren and (potentially) Jesse – she didn’t want to explain which one is a boy. Never mind that it’s highly unlikely Sabrina, Ann or Lauren would be mistaken as boy names. Now, I do understand how the name came to be “gender neutral” – nickname for Jessica, or an outright name (as a side note, “Jessie” was a much more popular name for girls before 1900 than “Jesse” was for boys). That’s OK, I understand that. I honestly don’t care what the perception of the name is – I like it. However, my wife and I are partners and there needs to be a “meeting of the minds”. So, the name Jesse has been sacrificed on the altar of marital harmony. May it rest in peace.

Now, I don’t want to give the impression that there was some sort of heated arguments and strife involved in this decision. There wasn’t. Disagreements—yes. However, the majority of our discussions about what to name our children have usually involved me making up the stupidest sounding name possible, laughing and then stopping as my wife gives me that “that’s not funny” look. Apparently, naming your kids is serious business. Although on another side note, read the chapter of the book Freakonomics on kids with silly names—very interesting stuff.

We like to give our children family names. We don’t know if we will have another boy, so for Stephanie and I the name is important (despite my jokes). In the last book of the Old Testament in the book of Malachi, Malachi talks about the coming of the prophet Elijah and states, “And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers”. While Jews might not agree with me, I believe Elijah has come and that this prophecy is being met today. Family History and Genealogy is one of the most searched items on the Internet. People find meaning and personal pride in their roots.

I never had a desire to live in Las Vegas. However, with Camille’s passing and through reading biographies of my immediate ancestors I have felt a much deeper tie to the Las Vegas valley. My paternal grandfather, William Noble Waite, was born and raised in the Bunkerville area. The first Waite to join the Mormon church joined in England in 1848 (who incidentally was at an 1853 church conference with one of Stephanie’s ancestors). The Waites (along with some of my other ancestors: Leavitts, Gibbons and Huntsmans) eventually were sent by Brigham Young to settle first Southern Utah and then Southern Nevada. The Waites were poor – as in dirt poor. Jesse was my great grandfather and was a farmer. His story is fairly unremarkable and similar to thousands of others in that area – poor but an abiding faith in God and His gospel.  

As a young man, I always wanted to leave my city and achieve great things, success and fame. However, as I have grown older and wiser I have come to respect the hard work and humility of the farmers, miners, school teachers and others who work their whole life in anonymity and instill in their children a love of God, a love of others and a great work ethic. Jesse Waite was one of those – not a perfect man, but a good, solid example for his progenitors.

In our “meeting of the minds”, we do like the name Morgan Noble Waite for peanut. Barring some unforeseen circumstance, that is what we plan on naming him. Morgan is Stephanie’s dad’s name. Never mind how gender neutral Morgan is for a boy—marital harmony people, marital harmony. Also, since there are many Morgans in Stephanie’s family, we’ll call him Noble. Back to the point: my father-in-law is a great man. He reminds me a lot of those characteristics that I was just talking about – and he grew up on a farm. He went on to get a law degree and was the Public Defender for Las Vegas for over 30 years. One of Stephanie’s reasons for wanting to use the name Morgan as part of peanut's name is that her father was the 5th child after four girls. 

Noble is after my grandfather, William Noble Waite (he went by “Noble”). My uncle just finished writing a biography on him and it is fascinating. In his work life, he was a school teacher and high school principal in Southern California. In his church life, he was incredible and accomplished great things. He was a stake president, mission president and was in charge of raising money for the Los Angeles Temple and BYU. I guess the theme between the two is that they both came from those humble beginnings with rather humble fathers (in money and spirit) that went on to achieve great things.

So thank you all to participating in our mental exercise. It was not all in vain. It helped us (well OK, mainly Stephanie) to make her decision. Another thing: I know it sounds like I’m playing the martyr but that’s just me having fun with the situation. For me, it has been fun reading and learning about my roots. More importantly, I have a more profound appreciation of the kind of people my ancestors were. Many of your ancestors were probably of the same ilk. They were the backbone of their society and the building blocks of who we are. We owe them the respect they deserve.

Still February???

I think this has been the longest February of my life. I am not sure why. Maybe it is because it started on a Sunday so it has been 4 full weeks of February. Usually it takes me 5 or 6 days to realize we are in a new month and that makes February feel like 3 weeks. Or maybe it just how pregnant I am getting to be.

Either way, I am glad to have February under my belt at last. March promises to be a busy month with 2 girls weekends, a baby shower, Jonathan and my 10th Anniversary, visits from family, kids out of school, projects planned for our family to do, and LOTS of church activities and work. I am hoping all of this will make March fly by quickly and be enjoyable in the flying.

April, well, that will likely be another story. I am not sure any amount of planning can make the last month of pregnancy feel fast, but we will see.

One of my projects planned for March is to go through all our children's clothing. Since they will be on track break and able to help, I want to plow through this "spring cleaning" chore. Their dressers seems so full and yet each week it seems they have nothing to wear by Friday. Hmmmm. I am going to have to go discover why this is. 

Another somewhat scary part of this is going through all the baby stuff including the clothes 3T and under. I still haven't done that. All of the baby gear is in storage in my parents garage. It has been there since Camille's accident when my sister in laws packed it all up for me. I will have to go through everything and decide what to keep and what to give away or throw away. 

Usually I am a keeper. I don't want to have to buy more baby clothes and we have the storage room. But with this baby being a boy, well, even if the next one is a girl I just don't think I will be wanting to use most of our baby girl clothes.  That is especially true of the clothes we still have from Sabrina's baby days.

But, I will pull out all the clothes I bought specifically for Camille. There aren't too many. Those will go in a special hope chest. And I do have a few special dresses for each girl from their baby days to save for them. It will no doubt be an emotional chore. I see my girls growing up so quickly. Camille's death made our little family so much older in so many ways. 

I am glad to be having a boy now and hope to have a brother for this little guy. But, a part of my heart really wants to have one more little girl. I guess we will have to see. Those are things to pray about in future prayers. At least I know I have one little girl waiting for me to raise her and when I am able to do that, it will be without the distraction of so many earthly worries.

So bring on March! I may be waddling through it, but I am ready for it none the less.

Thoughts on Prayer Question

This is an answer to the Anon. commenter who asked about what prayers really can do. The full comment can be found under the post requesting prayers for Gracie.  Here is a portion of it:

So, what can my prayers do? When I learn of a family in despair, He already knows about them and is already there. When I learn of a sick or injured child, He already knows about them and is already there. What do you think our prayers do in these situations? For example, I read this post about Gracie yesterday. I have thought of little else since. I have been praying and praying. What can my prayers do, when His plan is in action? I don’t believe that any amount of praying can change His plan. I do believe what you have said about Him not giving us anything that we cannot handle with Him at our side. I believe he is there always. I know that He is with you and your family now. I know that He is with Gracie and her family now. I KNOW this. So, what can a prayer from a complete stranger do? How can my prayer affect something that is already happening? 

This may be a lengthy answer because there are many aspects to consider.

Prayer Affects the Prayer

First and perhaps most significantly, prayer is a tool we can use to refine ourselves. By communicating with God we can draw closer to Him. It is through prayer that we come to know, understand, and accept God's will. This is an essential part of having faith sufficient to offer affective prayers.

As a praying person, I am sure you have experienced how prayer can help you align your life and your will with the Lord's. But the thrust of your question is one I have pondered upon greatly in my life. And I will share what I have learned about this subject thus far.

The Prayers of Others Have Power to Strengthen and Lift Those In Need

I had a small understanding of this concept given to me when I was 21. I was alone in a hotel room in the night before taking my LSAT exam. I had studied so hard for this exam and the stress got to me. I got a severe migraine. All night the night before the exam I laid in agony in the tub or bed worrying all the more about how I would take this test with little or no sleep and how I could get rid of this headache. 

Lying there and praying for relief, I felt a strong impression and power come over me. It was as if I had been sent a package of power through heavenly mail. I felt distinctly the power of my mother's prayers for me. I knew she was praying for me that night. And I felt a power come into my body specifically as a result of her prayer.

Could I have survived the night without her prayer. Sure. Would I have been more miserable? Yes. Does the Lord have His plan for me down so specifically that he would designate my degree of misery in this instance? No. The Lord gives us agency. We use that agency to make choices that affect our lives and the degree of happiness or misery we will feel. 

Many times situations arise in our lives that cause misery or sorrow. Some of these are sent to teach us lessons we need to learn. Some are the effects of another's agency. Some are just accidents or natural disasters. God has placed us in an imperfect world where bad things happen. He does not plan for every earthquake and car crash and fire. But He knows they will happen and he allows them to happen. That is part of our learning process. At least that is what I personally believe. 

That being said, I do also believe He has a plan for each person. The plan is this - help this person grow and learn as much as he or she can in mortality and allow him or her opportunities to become more like the Savior. Ultimately, help this child of mine become like Christ and return to Me. 

God is our Father. He is our parent. And just as parenting different children calls for different skills and tools, each of us have different needs to be best led toward the Savior. And we all have our agency. I believe that using this agency, we can, through prayer, soften Lord's heart toward us.

I believe this because as a parent I feel this. When a child is humble, meek, submissive, and wanting to please me I am more prone to wrap them up in my love and work to make their way as easy as possible. This is true even if they have made a mistake and a consequence must follow. 

So no matter the outcome of certain events, even if our prayers cannot change His will, they can give strength to those in need. Our prayers can send angels to stand next to a family or loved one in need. I have said this before but I felt the power of the thousands of prayers offered up for our family surrounding Camille's passing. It was as if every person who was praying for us sent their own guardian angel to come support us. That is what it felt like. And it did feel different than if only I had been praying for myself. That is part of the "magic" or more appropriately the miracle of being able to "mourn with those that mourn" and "bear one another's burdens." When we pray for others, a small part of their burden is heavenly distributed onto our heart and off of theirs. I don't know how this happens. There must be some heavenly science class on it. But I do know that it does happen, for my heart and my burden have felt its effects both ways.

Prayers Can Change Outcomes

Now while I think some things in our Father's plan for us are set and necessary for to bring to pass His will, other things are not set. Sometimes His purposes can be accomplished in various ways and/or flexible time periods depending on how we as His children are exercising our agency to pray and based upon the degree and exercise of our faith. 

First a hypothetical example - perhaps it is the Lord's will that a person come home to Him. But this person or someone close to him or thousands of strangers are praying for this person to live. It is also the will of the Lord that these people become more like Christ and grow in their faith. Suddenly we have a balancing act to consider. Which will more fully bring to pass the Lord's will? That I guess depends on how badly the Lord needs the man to come home right now. Perhaps the Lord can wait 5 years for the man to come home and inspire him or those who prayed for him to do more to build the Lord's kingdom here on earth. 

I have no doubt that that has happened many times. Lives are miraculously extended daily based upon the prayers of faith offered to heaven. While I have not had that happen that I know of to me personally, writing it right now, I just know it is true. I can feel it in my heart. I just know it.

Such was not the case in our story. I actually feel as if Camille's life was extended many times previous to her accident. I was in the habit of praying for our safety and protection as a family. And as early as being in a car accident when I was 6 months pregnant with Camille, there were plenty of accidents that could have happened and taken her life that didn't. We were blessed to have her here for the 14 months we did.

Now for a true personal example but one not so "life and death" - In the summer of 1996 I was in a very serious relationship with a really wonderful guy. We were preparing and planning to become engaged and were very much in love. Still something in the back of my mind kept nagging me. I just wasn't sure this was the right thing, even though the guy was great and the timing seemed great. 

We discussed this at length and in that summer we broke up. It was a brutal break up. The worst I ever had to endure. Still, I felt we had done the right thing. I had been friends with and dated this guy on and off casually and seriously for 4 years. I knew him and he really knew me. I was so scared I would have to marry some guy I didn't even really know. I didn't want to spend another 4 years really getting to know someone.

I remember praying during that time that I would at least meet the man I would eventually marry, even if it was not the right time for me to get married yet. I prayed that I would at least meet him so I could know him when the time was right for me to marry.

That summer I met Jonathan. And I met Kathryn whom Jonathan home taught and with whom I decided to become roommates in an apartment in Jonathan's ward. That fall Kathryn helped me get to know Jonathan better. It was not the right time for me to get married. But the Lord answered my prayer of faith and let me meet the man I would eventually marry. I am fairly certain this was a direct answer to my prayer. It was a long hard road being friends with Jonathan. He thought I was a great friend but had no further interest in me. Sometimes I was fine with that. Other times, well, it was hard.

I could easily have met him later. After college he moved to California and I to DC. He lived in my brother's ward. His family lived in Vegas. I could easily have met him later when it would have been more timely for me to marry. But the Lord allowed me to know him well before the time was ripe for us to date and marry.

I even think the Lord sped up our wedding. The summer after my first year of law school I was praying every day for a serious boyfriend/potential husband by the end of the summer. It had been a hard and lonely first year and I just didn't want to do another year like that. At the end of the summer Jonathan was "inspired" to date me and miraculously fell head over heals in love with me. We waited 8 months to be married.

You see, the Lord had it in His plan for me to go to law school at Georgetown. I felt that strongly. He let me meet Jon early but would not allow Jonathan to see me as anything more than a friend. Meanwhile he kept inspiring me to stay friends with him. And at the very earliest time possible for me to start dating Jonathan and then marry Jonathan and still get my degree from Georgetown, he took the blinders off Jonathan and turned his heart to me.

In this way, the Lord was able to answer my prayers and still keep His plan on track.

Okay. I have typed too much today. I am off to play with Lauren and then help in Annie's class. I hope my thoughts were helpful. If you want to discuss this more I know I did a previous post on prayers and whether they can change God's will, or you can email me. My email is on my profile page.