Thursday, February 28, 2013

Big Changes

I finished the bar exam today. Hallelujah! I feel great. If I didn't pass, I know it isn't because I didn't do my best. I learned (or relearned) so much in the process that I feel I have won the prize already. I really do love learning and feel so grateful for the opportunity I have had the past few months to reengage my mind in academics. It made me feel young again.

And now I am back to blogging.

Life is a funny thing. I grew up in a very stable home. We moved into a house my dad built when I was about 2 or 3 and my parents just sold that home about 2 years ago. My dad had the same job for over 35 years. My life was very set and secure.

Leaving home, the world was full of possibilities. I explored them as fully as I could afford to. Eventually Jon and I married and as our children came to us one by one, we looked to become more stable.

Five years ago we moved into this house. We bought it because we knew we could live in it the rest of our lives and be happy here. It would fit our family as large as we would grow it.

Then Camille died.

We felt, more than ever, powerful roots digging deep into this barren dessert land. This valley has always felt like home to me. But burying a child here ... that tied me here with unbreakable heartstrings.

We will live here forever. We will never move from this home. This is where Camille was. That is what we have said. That was the plan.

But just as life threw us the unexpected curve ball of losing Camille, it seems to take twists and turns I never thought it would. And another twist rocked my world a week ago.

My husband has been looking to get back into the world of finance and investments. He is not essential to the LaptopXchange operation and he misses his profession of stock analyzing and picking. He searched for months to find a job locally in that field. Unfortunately, Las Vegas does not have much of an investing scene.

Last week, my husband accepted a position at a hedge fund ... in Dallas, Texas. He starts tomorrow working remotely from here. He will move out there at the end of this month. Hopefully we will find a home out there in the next month or two and follow him after the school year ends.

This is a blessing to our family and the position is one he is excited about. He feels he will learn and grow and enjoy his work. It is a great opportunity for him. I am thrilled about it. Everyone I have ever heard talk of living in Dallas has nothing but wonderful things to say about living there. I have a brother and sister in law there. If we have to move, I can't think of anyplace better. I am excited for this adventure.

At the same time I am utterly heart broken at the thought of moving. This week I had so many friend texting and emailing and calling me to wish me luck on the bar. I had dinners brought in by friends every night this week. (And they were seriously deluxe, over the top, delicious!)

I LOVE our neighborhood, our home, our ward family, our community, my friends, and we have so much family here. It is going to just be so hard to leave all this love.

I am trying not to think too much about it yet because I get too weepy. I keep calling my Texan brother and telling him and his wife to tell me how excited we are again. :)

I really am grateful. I feel a showering of love and blessings from the Lord and I know this is in his plan. We have learned what we needed to learn here for now. It is time to go learn new lessons from new people. I feel that. But it is still so hard to say goodbye and move so far away.

Luckily, technology has made the world a little smaller. I will be blogging all about our upcoming adventures of being a single mom for a few months, packing and moving, and settling in a new area in the Dallas Ft. Worth metroplex. Hopefully this blog will take on the new purpose of being the place where all those people I love and will be missing can come and we can visit in the comments.

And hopefully it will help introduce us to some new friends too. Anyone out there live in the Carrollton Texas area? That is one of the areas we are looking into. I'd love to know what anyone thinks of it who lives there.

Now I need to go look into taking the Texas bar this summer ... :) fun times.


Vera said...

Wow, that is big and great news.
I am excited to follow your new adventures from Germany.

All the best, Vera

Kim said...

I have been reading your blog for several years now and Texas (Huntsville) has always been my home. Welcome to our wonderful state - you will love it!!!

Your Tx Friend,

Rebecca said...

Wow! That is some BIG news! congrats on the the new job for Jon. I'm sure you'll make friends quickly and there are probably many people in Texas who already know you through your blog. Good luck with the bar results and taking another one this summer ;) Good luck!! Can't wait to hear about your adventures.

Pam said...

WOW, that is awesome news! Of course I think Texas is a great state, lived here all my life, just not in the big city. I'm about 2.5 hours away from the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, you will love it I'm sure. I'm sure you did great on your bar exam and you will do great on the Texas bar exam. I'll keep checking back for updates and I hope all the children as excited about the move too. A friend in East Texas, Pam

Anonymous said...

What big news! I am sure you are going to be an awesome single mom for the few months and by the sounds of it, you won't be alone with packing up the house. I can only imagine the great mixture of emotions leaving your home where Camille lived. As a long time reader I think you should take Camille's drawer with you and find a way to use it in your new home (shelf or maybe make it fit in your new kitchen). Or cut out a piece of her wall or something, just a piece of the home that reminds you of her and bring it into your new home. I think that would be helpful for your heart as you begin this new journey. I will pray for your family through this transition.

Anonymous said...

Until I reached the last line, I hoped the Nevada and Texas bars are reciprocal (or whatever, so you did not have to take another exam).

Lee said...

Congratulations on the bar and your upcoming move! We love living in Dallas. I know nothing about Carrollton but highly recommend Lake Highlands.

Tournesol said...

I lived in Dallas when I was a child and loved it. I have fond memories of living in Texas. We also lived in a little town not far from Dallas called Tyler. Tyler was beautiful with roses gardens and pretty parks, blackberries growing wild in the fields and bluebells everywhere from what I remember. I hope it hasn't changed too much!

Sharon said...

WOW, what a big change! I'm sure you guys will love Texas. Oh, and my friend's husband just finished taking the Texas Bar exam. :-)

Anonymous said...

(another LDS, angel family in the Dallas area)

Judy said...

What an exciting new adventure! I grew up the same way...same house there in vegas my whole life! After my husband and I had been married a few years & had 2 kids his job had us start moving....we moved at least 7 times in about 5 years! We lived in 4 different states~always a bitter/sweet experience! But, always wonderful to know that no matter where we went we would have an amazing ward family there to help us! Good Luck with everything ~ can't wait to read all about your journey!!

Connie said...

I found your blog through a friend of a friend. Anyway, I grew up in flower mound, TX. My hs boyfriend lived in Carrollton. I have nothing but good to say about both towns. Great people, schools, weather. Good luck!

Lesley said...

I don't know anything about living in Texas, although I'm sure it will be wonderful; however... I do know about leaving the home where I lived for 27 years and where my daughter lived and died. It was a big decision for us, and on the day of the move my husband and I were the last two to leave the house. It was one of the hardest things that I've ever done, but we did it and I haven't regretted it. Someone once told me "home is where you hang your heart". Although we don't live in the same house that our daughter lived in with us, we are the same "home" and she knows where to find us.

Anonymous said...

I live in Frisco, TX which is just north of Carrollton. I am the one who left a comment about North Dallas a few minutes ago. We looked for houses last year and in our price range $200,000, Carrollton didn't have anything we liked because they were older and run down. However, there are some really nice houses in Carrollton if you have more money than that. Frisco is a very fast growing and well thought out city. There are LOTS of new houses here. We love it. Long commute for my husband to Dallas though. Best of luck!

chercard said...

My sister and brother in- law live in Keller, which is a great suburb of Dallas. They love it and never want to move back home (Utah).

Bryce and Candice Blood Family said...

I just linked to your blog through the Sullengers for the second time and when I read this post it made me think of one of my most wonderful friend's ever, her husband was also our bishop for a time. We went to Mississippi for my husband's Veterinary school and he was a professor there. They have since moved to Frisco, Texas (less than mile from Carrollton) and love it. Their names are Doug and Shelly Goodman and they are absolutely wonderful people. If you happen to meet them in your adventures, make them your friend too! You won't regret it! Good luck with your single mom days (yikes), moving days (ugh) and all the other good and bad that comes with this change in your life.