Saturday, June 18, 2011

Answer to a Couple Questions

I have a couple of questions from comments to answer and I don't really want to type them into a comment so I am putting them up here.

First, someone asked how we pronounce Saby. :) It is with a short a sound Like Savvy only with a B sound instead of the V sound or Abbey only with a S sound at the beginning. Make sense? Sabrina called herself Saby when she was really young. So it has been one of our nicknames for her. Her others are Beeta (that is what Lauren and Annie called her) and Noble now calls her "Ina" they way it sounds in Sabrina.

Second - To Angie about the miscarriage question in the comments on the last post. This is for you. There is no official doctrine about what happens with miscarriages. I have heard a wide variety of theories and beliefs. I personally believe that still born children will be kids that are raised in the millennium just as Camille will be. Early miscarriages, however, I am less sure about.

I will tell you that in my experience with knowing Sabrina was waiting to come to our home. I knew it was Sabrina that I sensed because I had a picture of her come to my mind and a feeling for her personality. I know now that it was Sabrina. The impression I had was that SHE was the spirit waiting to come to our home. Whether that first baby was her or some other spirit I don't know.  But I knew that SHE (that happy curly blond haired girl) was happy waiting to come to our home. I knew she was going to have to wait for a while too because I had timed my pregnancy to make it so I would have the baby just after I took the Bar Exam. I miscarried at around 10 weeks and the way things worked out it seemed best if I waited till after I took the Bar Exam to get pregnant again. So it would delay me becoming a mother for a good 9 months to a year. But if she was happy to wait. I would be too.

I too wonder about if that first pregnancy was perhaps a different spirit and Sabrina was shown to me to give me the hope and promise of blessings to come. I just don't know. But I just read a REALLY wonderful article in the Mormon Times that felt "right" when I read it. You should go read it HERE. I really loved that article and it made me feel really good about have been pregnant 9 times and given birth to 6 kids.

I hope that article gives you some insight. I wish I could give you more. What I do know is that Jesus Christ will restore our losses in one way or another. Whether that means we get to have that child that we miscarried but we just have to wait and it will be the next kid we have or if we get that child in the Millennium or we will be made more holy for our willingness to try... that I don't know. But I have faith that we will be satisfied by how we are "compensated" for our heartaches.


Princesses in waiting said...

Stephanie, Your words are perfect. I have experienced 2 miscarriages at 5 weeks and my son Riley was stillborn at 31 weeks in 2010. I feel so blessed to be a mormon and know the plan of salvation and that we will once again get to hold our beautiful boy in our arms. Like you I'm not sure about miscarriages as to why spiritually this happens so your words have such beauty in them to know that our willingness to try has made us little closer to Heavenly Father.

Angie said...

Wow that was a quick response! Thank you! When I read your "happy" post I misinterpreted, I thought you were SURE that Sabrina was your miscarried baby and she just needed a little more time. I admit I was jealous for a minute because I wanted to be SURE too! But now I understand what you were saying. In the hard months after my miscarriage I used to tell myself that was the case. That my baby just needed a little more time and then he/she would come to our family in THIS life. Because I was impatient and undisciplined and selfish and I didn't want to wait. And believing that was the case made it SO MUCH EASIER. But I was always aware that I didn't REALLY know...anyway, thank you for the article link. It was very good and did make me feel better. I remember having all those thoughts like "what was that for?" I was 100% emotionally invested and then it was gone. And people around me were acting like I was crazy to be having a hard time, after all, it's not like I had known the child at all. But I did. In only the way a mother can. From the day I found out I was pregnant I had 2 kids not 1. I loved 2 kids not 1. I felt like screaming, "I know it could be worse! It could ALWAYS be worse, but that doesn't make it hurt less now!" It's nice to think that my loss will be "worth" something someday. Thanks for your time!

Chelsea said...

i have had several friends with miscarriages [i think it's truly more common to have a miscarriage than to not!] and the topic had come up several times in conversation so i finally did some research in the archives on there was very little on it, but basically it seemed like there were 2 conditions that qualified that experience of the baby in the womb as a mortal experience: if the movement of the baby was felt and/or if the mother felt that child was hers to raise in the millenium.

hope that helps a little...