Saturday, September 13, 2008


Uncle Aaron teaching Jon and Camille how to solve a Rubik's Cube. 
I love the concentrating face Camille has in this photo.

I am thinking of doing a once a week post to respond to questions posed in comments. I have done this a few times like yesterday. But as questions are not regularly posted in comments, it has not been a regular feature. 

So I would like to gauge the interest in a once a week post to answer or at least give you my thoughts on your questions or subjects of interest.

So if you have been lurking this blog and there has been something you have wondered or wanted to ask but felt uncomfortable asking, here is your chance. This is an official call for questions. 

I will tell you I am fairly unoffendable. I will not promise to answer every question. If I don't feel comfortable with the question I won't respond to it. But it probably won't offend me that you asked it. 

I only ask that everyone avoid asking more details than I have already disclosed about the actual events that led to Camille's accident. I just can't relive those again by discussing them and I have reasons for keeping them private. 

Also, the questions can be on subjects I have not previously addressed in my posts. And I am sure my husband would be willing to guest post an answer if there is a question out there for him or that he is better suited to answer. And if you want to know how to solve a Rubix Cube ... well we can get you in touch with Uncle Aaron in the photo above.

I look forward to seeing what is on your minds. Loves, Stephanie


Anonymous said...

Hi. I have been one of those lurkers for a long time. I did pose a question a few posts ago, but you so many questions that I'm not sure if you got it or not. I'm LDS also and currently a Visiting Teacher to someone that has lost someone very close to them. What advice do you have or what did your Visiting Teachers and or Relief Society do for you that helped or did not help. I appreciate your response as it is very hard to know what is helpful.
Thank You for taking the time to let all of us ask you questions. You are a very wise woman.

Noorda Notebook said...

my questions are very deep so take your time and don't rush into them.

1. What is your favorite color?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. Who's your favorite superhero?
4. Favorite movie?
5. Favorite item of clothing?
6. Favorite vacation spot?
7. Favorite desset at Buchon?
8. Favorite thing about your Odyssey?
9. Favorite book?
10. Favorite piece in your home?

(i'm cracking myself up right now. )

Liz's Blog said... made me laugh at your questions!!!! I think will follow your trend...
Besides So You Think You Can Dance....What is your favorite TV Show?
What is your favorite Family Tradition???
This will be fun to get to know you better Steph =)

Anonymous said...

Hi Stephanie,

I was wondering... what does your daily prayer time look like? The where's, when's and how's.

WIth three little ones this is the most important thing I can do to prepare myself for the day but ... well... you know the "but's"....

I am looking forward to hearing your response!


Carolyn said...

True or False? Uncle Aaron is the super cute!

A commenter above asked something about family traditions and I thought, "Oh, Stephanie has so many great traditions, big & small." I think it would be fun sometime to hear about those traditions and the why's.

Anonymous said...

My question is about a happy marriage... :) What is your secret to a succesfull marriage that will last for all eternity?

Would love to hear a reply from you and your husband, just for the fun!

Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Have you ever thought about having another baby?

MM said...

Hey.. another lurker here...

My question is similar to the first "anonymous"... As you walk through this with your family, what advice can you give to the 'outsiders' who you encounter who don't know what to say/do. If I had a friend who went through a tragedy I can think of lots of things I 'could' do, but not sure if they would be good/bad/indifferent.

**tif** said...

I'm sorry Steph but please don't answer that last breaks my heart every time I've seen it asked. Too personal.
(I'm Debby Erickson's DIL)
You amaze me! I am anxious to hear your responses to so many of these questions!

Anonymous said...

I too am wondering about the last annon. question...but not because I think it's a bad one. I too have wondered about it. As I've "lurked" your blog I've tried to put myself in your shoes (I have a 13 month old) and I've also heard others who have lost little ones and then had another baby (some soon after) say it was such a healing event in their life, so I've wondered if I could do it. Sometimes I think NO-- it would break my heart and other times I think MAYBE-- it might be just what I need. Of course, all I can do is speculate and I would NEVER try to act as though I understood what it feels like to have to really consider that question in your situation, because I have no idea, but I have wondered....what effect do you think it would have on your family?

Adam and Megan's Mom said...

Perhaps I missed it, but I wondered what you thought of "Breaking Dawn" If you posted and I missed it you can just direct me to the link.


Teri said...

Hi, Stephanie-
I've been enjoying "lurking" and gleaning so much from your blog. Like so many others, I want to say thank you for sharing. My friend, Rachel, who told me about Camille and about your blog had the same perspective I do: "Here is a mom who has gone through every mother's nightmare and proves that life can go on with faith and joy (even when awfully difficult at times)."
Anyway, it's been truly good to read about your life - and all of the questions that I might have wanted to ask you have answered in the days since Camille's death. I will forever appreciate this wild world of blogging for making possible connections like these with people like you!

Anonymous said...

I have a question for you. I am not married right now and don't see it for awhile. I've been thinking about my future children a lot and wondering, how would you suggest to raise a child in this generation of time? What do you think of angels? I believe we all have them somewhere and they are around us. I want to thank you for your blog. I look at it almost every day and appreciate your comments.

Anonymous said...

You don't know me I just happened to come across your blog. I couldn't sleep and was just randomly searching when I came across yours. And now I really cannot sleep from thinking about you and your sweet family. I have spent the last hour reading your posts and I am truly amazed at the inisight and wisdom that you posess. I came very close to losing my own son a little under two years ago and while thankfully his life was spared, we spent an agonizing six months with the uncertaintity of what was to come. I am also of the LDS faith and know that with all trials we are blessed with valuable life lessons. I believe my greatest lesson was to cherish the little tender moments in life. Still to this day my son's smile brings tears to my eyes and the sound of his laughter is heavenly. I cannot even begin to imagine being on the other end of the spectrum and losing a child. So I guess what I am trying to ask is what valuable life lesson have you learned that you want to share with others that we may learn through your experience? I apologize if this is to personal. Thank you for your blog it is beautiful.

Anonymous said...

this is another amazing mom who lost a baby and has just made a wonderful-for-her-and-husband announcement

Anonymous said...

Many people try to reach out to those during a time of sorrow. How do you handle being on the recieving end of service?

Sue said...

Stephanie, this is kind of an odd question, but I ask it because of my own experience with loved ones who have passed away. While deprived of the physical aspect of those relationships, I have experienced with each one the feeling of an enhanced spiritual if, with all the walls and barriers of the physical world removed, our spiritual communion is deeper and, in some way, expanded. I should add that these have all been adult relationships. Now, here is my question. Have you had any sense of that with Camille? I sincerely hope you have...or will...because it has been most healing and comforting to me. Finally, thanks for sharing all of your beautiful and courageous grieving process with us. As you so selflessly lay bare your soul, I find myself searching my own and wanting to press forward with a steadfasness of hope. This has been a real gift to me in a difficult stage of my life.

Anonymous said...

I love that you post pictures of sweet Camille. Camille has a beautiful, intelligent baby's face! I am wondering what family traditions you will have for remembering Camille around all the holidays.

Shanan said...

when can I come visit???? ;)

Anonymous said...

Hi Stephanie, another faithful follower of your blog here. I think you kind of answered this question before, but I can't remember. Did you ever have any feelings before Camille's death that something was going to happen. Like spiritual promptings? I remember you said right when you found here, you remembered a dream you had that told you of the loss. If this is too personal, I won't be offended at all if you don't answer. I just have this strange feeling about losing my 2 year old and I don't know if it's real or just a worry that all mothers have. I've always worried about her, but not as much as I have the past month or so. Lastly, thank you so much for putting your heart out here. You have helped me tremendously in my own life to have more patience with my daughter with the thought that she could be gone in an instance. You truly inspire me. Thank you!

Just Too Swift said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

what would you do if had children and you recently went through the temple and your husband started to change by having more anger inside to the point you were always having an arguement and your husband has started to Hurt you and you are now always feeling angry and depressed I ask you this because after reading you seem to have a strong spirit and I have no one to talk too

Small Town Mommy said...

My question is this...

Do you think God's will can be changed by prayer?

Here is why I ask...I started reading a blog months ago about a little boy suffering from leukemia. This was a very popular blog where millions of readers came together in prayer for the healing of this child. Alas, he passed away. After his death, I began to question how I prayed. I began to ask if millions of people come together with one voice, with one common request and it doesn't alter God's can I expect to?
Don't get me wrong, I believe in prayer. I pray for strength, for faith, for hope, I pray for changing of hearts etc., but I'm not sure praying for someone to be healed...well quite frankly works...If it is God's will then it is and I pray for His strength to help me to understand tragedy and to help those afflicted by that tragedy to understand....

So I guess I wonder, what do you think? How do you pray?

Anonymous said...

I am officially addicted to your blog. Your posts inspire and uplift me. Thank you so much for opening your heart to us. I am LDS and a mother of 4. My question is similar to Julie's. Did you have dreams or "know" something was going to happen? I had very vivid dreams of my oldest drowning when she was very young. She is now 15 and I still occasionally have them. I haven't had dreams like that about the other kids. I wonder what it's all about?

Boys and Beagles said...

To the anonymous who posted that her husband has begun to hurt her. I know this is Stephanie's blog and you asked her this question, but as a therpaist who works with women who have beena bused I offer an important resource - Please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline - you are being abused and NO ONE deserves to be hurt - ever. Here is the number and the link to their website

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

don't wait - call and get help

Anonymous said...

I love your blog. I was wondering how do you like the winner of So You Think You Can Dance?


Anonymous said...

Stephanie and Jon,
I have been a faithful follower of your blog and my heart physically hurts. I don't know how you get through the days or nights. I've tried to understand your strength and pain you both feel and of course I can't come close to understanding. My question is this: Do you ever feel like you want to rush through your lives so you can be with Camille?
I can only imagine that if this had happened to me that I would have blinders on to the world. Thank you both for your blogs and you inspire me to be a better person and mom.

Allred Fam said...

hi- i've posted before and love to follow your blog. I don't have a question although I am interested in your responses to a few of the previous questions, but I do have a few "thoughts" about some of the other questions. From a similar experience, I believe it is so important to have strong family traditions, especially in order to keep your daughter's memory alive with the other children. I am curious what things you will do with your family. Also, whether you answer the "having another baby question" or not, I will give my 2 cents about the topic. First, it was a wonderful experience to have more children after losing a daughter and wondering if I was going to feel that the new baby was a replacement for the one who died, and when the baby was born, the spirit testified and revealed to me the spirit of a completely different and unique daughter. Also, I feel very strongly for myself that I would not have had the number of children that I have, if you include those on earth (3) and those (2) beyond the veil, if I have to raise them here, because I would have been one stressed-out mom, that's just me. I feel that one of the biggest blessings of my life is to have the knowledge that I have all of these children, that there will be some that I will raise at a future time, that I am not through holding and raising an infant, and that those little ones are perfect and saved and will not suffer the trials and hardships of this life. Our stories are different, but I can understand and feel that I know some of what you are going through, and I commend you for your strength and patience and love and insight and ability to ponder and relay to others those spiritual things.

Kevin and Natali McKee said...

I was wondering how you and your husband's relationship has been through the process. Did you fight a lot at the beginning? Did he blame you for what happened? How do you stay strong?

kath001 said...

I too have been a quiet but constant visitor to your blog (lurking always sounds a little sinister to me, lol). I am moved to speak up today, not with a question, but with a personal experience, that I offer only in the hope that you will find it helpful.

This past spring I was in a terrible one-car accident. When I started regaining consciousness, I was lying on the ground with a stranger praying over me. I was not able to speak to her, but I wanted so much to tell her, "He's right here. He's so near to you." And despite many broken bones and other injuries, I felt no fear and no pain...only His calm and comfort for His child (me)...and at the same time I could feel His pleasure with His child (her) who's ministry was so pleasing to Him.

I can't offer a reason why I survived my accident and Camille did not, except that God has a plan that we are yet to understand. I hope that I use each day to glorify Him. I feel an assurance that God was with Camille each moment of the accident, and that His presence and comfort was all that she knew. And I know that He is well pleased with you, Stephanie and Jon, for turning to Him, glorifying Him, and serving Him through this.

Your family is in my prayers. I'm not sure you will want to publish this comment, and that's okay. I just felt moved to share this with you today.

Debra said...

Hi Stephanie,
My husband passed away two years ago in a small plane crash, and I have yet to feel him with me. I do know he is with me from blessings that I have been given and experiences that my children have had, but I cant say for sure that I have felt him. You mentioned one time that Camille can only be present when love is in your home, but the same is true for the Holy Spirit.I am curious how you can tell the diffence from feeling and knowing Camille is there versus the Holy Spirit?

Anonymous said...

You know the saying -God never gives you more than you can handle? I am having a frustrating time in my life right now, and that saying doesn't make sense or comfort to me.. Nothing huge compared to you and many others is going on here, My husband is deployed and I am left in a new state by myself with 3 kids, one who is a newborn.. I don't mean to be mean or make you sad or anything.. I just keep hearing this advice and I just wonder what you think about it..? I just feel so overwhelemd and tired right now.. I'll survive I know that, just not with flying colors.. Am I suppose to? Is it even possible? Is that what the saying means? If so how? I truly don't understand and feel lost and lonley. If you don't have the time or energy to answer, it's fine. I don't want to burden you.
I enjoy reading your blog. Thanks for sharing a glimpse of your life.. You are a wonderful person, good luck to you and your growing family. God Bless you!