My Answers

Well, I was planning on only answering one question this week. But there are more than one that I feel need to be addressed. So, I will get to as many as I can tonight and if I don't hit yours today, I still may get to it in the future. Some of those questions deserve their own post.

Question: To the woman who recently went through the temple and is having marital problems and feels she has no one to whom she can talk. What would I do in your shoes? 

My Answer: First, I think you should know that you can go to your bishop to discuss options. He is there to help you. You can always go to him for the spiritual and temporal guidance you need. Second and very important, in your comment you said your husband has begun to "hurt" you. Now there are lots of ways to be hurt. If you were referring to physical hurt, I would call my bishop, pack up my kids and get out. Another reader put up a hotline number. That is a great resource. I do not treat divorce lightly. I think there are very few reasons that people SHOULD get divorced. Physical abuse is definitely one of them. If you are being physically abused you should not stay in the relationship especially if you have children. It not only puts them at risk of being hurt by your spouse but it teaches them that such treatment is acceptable and it is not. 

If by "hurt" you meant your feelings are being hurt, I would read the book "The Peacegiver" by James Ferrell. It helped me to overcome bad feelings from a hurtful relationship I had. Again I would talk to my bishop if I needed more help, which it sounded like you did. Then you can lay the whole thing out to him and get more sound advice than from someone like me who only knows your situation from a few sentences in a comment. May the Lord bless and guide you.

Next question -- Have I thought about having another baby? Thanks for the worry **tif**. I know for some this is a very personal question but I am pretty open about such things so I was not offended in the least by the question.  

My Answer: I have always wanted about 6 kids. Immediately following Camille's accident when I was still struggling with the "how could I have let this happen" question, I thought perhaps I would never have more children. I hate to admit I felt that way but I am just being real here. But, I came to realize rather quickly that those thoughts were not from the Lord. As I realized that it was the Lord's will that Camille return home and as I became more sure of my feelings that it was her time and drowning was only the means, my feelings changed. I also talked to other moms who have lost children and had babies after who said it was a great healing event for them. 

By the time Jon and I left the hospital we were more baby hungry than we had ever been. It wasn't that we were anxious to replace Camille. That is not possible. But, babies bring so much joy to a home and we need that kind of joy. I am still not sure of the timing, however. I am nervous about introducing pregnancy hormones into my life when I am so emotionally unstable as it is. Ultimately, I trust the Lord and that He will make it happen when it will be right for our family. And to the person directing me to Molly and Vic, we are friends and talk a few times a week on the computer. Thanks.

Question: Did I have premonitions/promptings? 

My Answer: No more than I have had with each of my other kids. I did have that dream the night before but didn't remember it till I saw her in the spa. That day I had not a single prompting. It was as if there were radio silence from heaven. I think it is natural to worry about something happening to your kids. But whether it is simply worry or a premonition, well that is just impossible to know unless the Spirit is pretty explicit. 

In Camille's baby blessing, it was stated that she would have a "special circumstance" to go through in her life. I remember thinking, "hmm that didn't sound good." I asked Jon about it after and he said he wasn't sure what it was just that there was something she was going to have to go through. I remembered that and often held her a little longer before putting her down just at the thought of her getting hurt in some way. But, I never thought I would lose her so soon. No, that was no where in my realm of possibilities.

Question: Can God's will be changed by prayer?

My Answer: No. But people can be healed by prayers. We do not pray to change God's will. Even the Savior in the Garden did not do that. We pray to discover God's will, and align our will with His. 

So then if God is just going to do His will no matter what, why pray? No one asked that but it is the natural leading question. Prayers do have power. The prayer of faith has power to heal if it is not contrary to God's will. The key word there is "contrary." For some things the Lord has his will set. For Camille, I believe it was His will for her to return home. I felt that. Even in trying to pray with faith, I had a hard time having faith that she WOULD be healed because I did not feel the confirming Spirit that it was God's will for that to happen. I feel there was faith sufficient in all the prayers for her that she would have been healed had it not been her time to go.

Let me give another example. There was a time my freshman year of college when I got sick. I have asthma and an attack I had turned into pneumonia.  My roommates asked if I wanted a blessing. I said no. I figured why would it be God's will to heal me? I didn't think I had the faith necessary for such a miracle. I determined I would just stick it out and get better the old fashioned way -- by suffering through it. Two days later my roommates returned home from church to find me in the fetal position on the bathroom floor. I had been dry heaving and coughing for hours. They took matters into their own hands and called our home teachers whether I liked it or not. As I waiting for them to arrive. I did some serious soul searching and praying. I wanted to be healed. I did not feel it was God's will that I needed to suffer this sickness but I was unsure I had the faith to make the miracle happen. So I prayed. I prayed for faith sufficient to heal. The home teachers arrived. My roommate said a prayer and the Spirit filled the room. My home teachers gave me a blessing and immediately I felt hungry and the nausea was gone. I went to the doctors the next day and there were no signs of the pneumonia they had diagnosed 3 days earlier. I was healed. 

The moral of the story is, if I hadn't prayed and gotten that blessing I am sure the Lord would not have healed me. My healing was not contrary to His will but it was also not essential to His will.  I think there are LOTS of blessings waiting for us that are only dependent upon our asking for them in faith. 

In a case of life or death, there is scripture HERE on the point. Note verses 43-52 especially 48. It basically says that those who are appointed to die will not be healed but those not appointed to die can go either way depending on prayers of faith. 

This has gotten to be a lengthy post. I will end with a few quick answers.

Breaking Dawn was entertaining but ultimately a let down for me. I needed more sacrifice. It ended too pretty to me. I wanted a good fight.

I am glad Josh won SYTYCD. I liked him and thought he danced well. I am still ticked that Will was voted off though.

Shanan, ANYTIME!

Uncle Aaron is super cute? TRUE

And Catherine: Red, Mint Choc. Chip Baskin Robbins Ice Cream, superman, don't have one, my jeans, Hawaii, lemon tart at Bouchon, rear view camera, These Is My Words by Nancy Turner, my bed. I am going there now. 

Good night!