Why I Believe

A friend of mine started posting a series of essays by her friends and family members on her blog. Each essay is on the topic "Why I Believe." I have read several of the essays she has collected and really enjoyed reading each persons individual journey. Today I had a free afternoon so I wrote my own essay for her collection. I am glad to have recorded some of the experiences I share in my essay that I don't think I have ever written down. Writing this was a great experience for me. If you have any inclination to write your own "Why I Believe" essay, I would encourage you to take some time and do it. Keep it for yourself and your family, submit to my friend for her collection, or share it with the world, it is just good to record it. I shared mine with my friend and it will be on her blog. I wanted to share it with all of you too.

Why I Believe

By Stephanie Waite

I was born and raised by faithful life-long members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. So, in my childhood they taught me about Jesus and my Heavenly Father. I was taught the doctrines of repentance and faith and choosing the right. Eventually, when I turned 8, I was baptized.

Many might believe that this teaching and training by parents are my reason for believing. And I will say that their efforts in parenting are what guided me to my belief. But my parents teaching is not why I believe today.

I believed my parents when I was a child. But, I did not really live their teachings very well. I was a naughty kid. I am not saying that lightly. I mean, it is just the truth. I was not really kind to my friends. I hurt them physically frequently. I was stubborn and selfish and insecure.

I believed the LDS church was true because I had been taught that. But, I didn’t know it for myself. I was going to church every week and all that, but my heart had not been converted.

As my childhood turned to adolescence, I may have stopped scratching my friends and acting out but I found other ways to get attention from my peers. By the time I was 13 I had been going to our youth program for a year and had felt the Spirit on more than one occasion. I knew I needed to be better and I was trying.

Shortly before I turned 14, I started going to seminary, a before school class where you study the scriptures. I had an amazing teacher who had a huge impact on my life (thank you to Garth Tesch.) I began reading my scriptures on my own everyday.  I had made some good new friends and had really begun to change.

During that year, I had been trying to get one of my best friends, who was a member of our church but not really active, to come with me to seminary.  She had come a couple of times and told me she felt the Spirit there. I knew deep down that this was a good thing for her and I really wanted her to come with me. I had spent a lot of time and effort trying to encourage her to join me. I felt so happy that she was feeling the Spirit there.

Two days later, my friend called me one night. I was sitting in my parents’ study looking at a picture of the Savior they had there. I was alone. My friend told me excitedly that she had sneaked out of a church activity with a boy and done some things they ought not to have done. She was bragging about it. I was crushed. I was so hurt that she would go do these things after feeling the Spirit and all the work I had been doing to help her get back to church. (I did mention I was selfish right?)

But as I listened to her, what could I say. Was I any less guilty than she? No. My own sins, as I knew them to be, were beyond what she had just told me. I could say nothing. I hung up the phone and the wheels of my mind started turning.

If I was this hurt by what she did. How hurt would my parents be if they knew all that I had done? After all, they had been working my whole life to bring me into the church. Geez, how hurt must my future children be. How disappointed in me must they feel. They surely have seen all my doings. They must be so bummed to be getting a mom who is such a sinner.

Then I looked up and saw the picture of the Savior looking at me.

He knows. He knows everything. And so does His Father. They have been working so hard to get me back to them and here I have been screwing it all up.

At this point, I got up and went into my bedroom. I spent the next three hours sobbing. I don’t think I can describe how low I felt to anyone who has not felt the full weight of their sins on their own back. But I felt them that night… keenly. They were overbearingly heavy on my shoulders. I wondered how I could live with the weight of them. I was so weighed down in sorrow that I felt I was not even worthy to utter a prayer.

Yet, praying is what I had been taught we were supposed to do to be forgiven. Still I shrank before my Maker knowing how I had hurt the Savior. I knew that what I was feeling, that weight of sin, was just a small drop of what he had felt in the Garden of Gethsemane. I was so very sorry to have caused Him such pain. How could I now ask anything from Him?

After three hours, I gathered my courage and knelt before my Maker. The only words I could think were, “Father, please… please forgive me.”

Immediately … and I mean immediately, all the weight was gone. It was lifted from my shoulders. I could feel it evaporate off of me. I was filled with a sense of love and peace that was beyond description. I knew that I had been completely forgiven for all those sins that had been weighing me down. I knew I was accepted of the Lord.

When evangelical Christians talk about being “born again,” I imagine this might be the kind of experience to which they are referring. I had been baptized years before, but that night I was truly born again. I felt changed in a mighty way. I knew exactly the weight of the burden the Savior had taken from me. I knew I would spend the rest of my life in His service in gratitude for His sacrifice for me.

This experience is why how I know that the Savior is real and that through His atonement He has the power to forgive sin.

Several months later, after spending a year reading about and studying the history of our church, I had another experience that gave me a solid testimony of the prophet Joseph Smith. I went on a trip to visit the church history sites. I had been praying for about a year to know for myself whether our church was really all it claimed to me- the only church with a fullness of the truth of the Savior’s gospel and led by the Savior himself through a prophet in our day.

One of our last stops was at the Sacred Grove where Joseph Smith went to ask God which church he should join. He recounts that in answer to his prayer, God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ appeared to him and told him that he should join none of the churches he had been considering. He was told that the Savior’s church was not on the Earth at that time but it would be restored to the Earth through him.

I was familiar with the story. But, I wanted to know for myself if it was true. So when the group leader gave us time to go find a spot and pray in that grove, I hoped for an answer. I was disappointed. I was so concerned by the mosquitoes buzzing around me that I was not able to focus very well on my prayer. After a short time, I gave up and found a friend and headed back to the visitor’s center where we were to gather for a testimony meeting.

During that testimony meeting, something amazing happened. It felt as if a veil was lifted off of my understanding and I felt my heart burning within me. I am not talking about heartburn, though it was a physical feeling. It felt like my heart was glowing embers of a fire. It didn’t hurt. It just felt so warm. Into my mind came scriptures I had read about the truth of spiritual things being witnessed by a burning of the bosom. I knew that was what I was feeling.

I also knew that it had been burning for a while but I had only just then, as the veil of my understanding was lifted, been able to recognize it. This told me that I had been having witnesses of the Spirit my whole life but I had not recognized them as such. I needed to be more aware to recognize them.

I shared my testimony and walked out of that room. I found comment cards in that visitor’s center and wrote myself a note. I wrote down how I felt. I told myself never to forget what I knew right then. I knew that Joseph Smith was a prophet, that he really did have the vision he claimed to have, and that the Book of Mormon was a true book of scripture. It followed logically to me that if Joseph Smith was a prophet and the Book of Mormon was true then this church he restored must also be what it claimed to be.

I wrote on those cards, “I know it and I know God knows that I know it.” I am bound by that witness. I am committed. I am all in.

Beyond these experiences of my youth, I have had countless manifestations both big and small of the Spirit guiding me and working in and through me in my life. I have felt the Spirit as I read the scriptures, including and especially the Book of Mormon. I have had prayers answered in miraculous ways. I have seen the Lord’s hand in the workings of the church. I have been physically healed in a powerful and immediate way by a priesthood blessing given when I had pneumonia in college. I have had witness after witness of the truth of the doctrines of the church as I have put them to the test by living them.

In my adult life, I have been faced with trials that test faith. I have had doubts enter my mind that could derail me from my faith if I let them. They are small things, inconsistencies I could focus on, questions I can’t find answers to, or historical things I just don’t understand about the church, its doctrine or some of the leaders.

But the fact remains that I know what I have felt. When I am faced with those questions, trials, or doubts I choose to believe.

Never was this choice more poignant than when my daughter drowned. Here I was, doing all I could to follow the Savior and choose the right. And one day as I am sitting 10 yards away inside my house, my 14 month old is drowning outside in our spa. I had received warning promptings to prevent bad things from happening before. Yet on this day, it was as if there was total radio silence from heaven.

God did not stop that bad thing from happening. And as we fasted and prayed for her to recover, she only got worse. We only felt peace when we prayed “thy will be done” and turned her over to the Lord’s care.

After she died, religion didn’t help they way you think it should. It didn’t feel the way I had been taught it would feel. I didn’t feel the Spirit comforting me. All I felt was pain and loss and sick to my stomach at the nightmare that was my reality.

That is how it felt at that time. And in those circumstances, I made a conscious decision to believe anyway. Now as I look back, I can see how the Lord was with us. I can feel how we were surrounded by the Spirit and angels were ministering to us daily. I read my writings from that time and feel the Spirit that was all through me at that time. But, I was unable to feel it then over the overwhelming pain I was experiencing.

I later heard Elder Scott, a modern day apostle who had lost 2 of his own children, say that trying to feel the spirit after great loss or grief is like trying to appreciate the delicate flavor of a grape after eating a jalapeño pepper. His analogy was perfect.

Five and a half years later, I see how much my life has been blessed and how my family and I have grown in ways we could not have without Camille’s death. I have seen people join the church and grow closer to God by reading about our experience. I may not like it, but there was a purpose in her passing that was within the Lord’s wisdom.

To this day, if ever I read or hear something that makes me doubt. I step away and choose to believe. Believing makes me happy. It gives me hope. It helps me survive.

I feel like losing my daughter was like me stepping out of the boat like Peter did to walk on the water. I have felt everyday since then has been a miracle of me walking on the figurative water. As long as I keep my eye focused on what I know (and that is that the Savior loves me and is guiding me home) I am okay. I dare not take my eye off of Him and be distracted by the storm around me. It is too bleak, too dark. I survive and thrive only by keeping my eye on the Savior. I choose to believe and He keeps me afloat.

I believe. 

To read more essays on this topic, visit my friend Laura Laurent's blog HERE and click on the tab "Why I Believe." You can even submit your own essay if you like.

The Fog of TIme - An Update 5.5 years out

I just woke from a very vivid dream - a nightmare. In it I found Harrison floating in a pool and I pulled him out to do CPR and mouth to mouth just as I did on Camille. It was Harrison in my dream. At least that is what my brain told me, but now that I am awake with the images burning in my brain, it was really Camille. It wasn't my almost three year old little boy. It was my sweet nearly bald baby girl. Mercifully in this nightmare, she came too.

I have been thinking I wanted to do an "update" on where I am at 5.5 years out. And mostly I am doing really well. I feel like I am living a new chapter here in Dallas. I feel like enough pages have turned that I can appreciate fully the blessings that have come to my life from my tragedy. I can even feel thankful for those blessings and appreciate the necessity of the trial that produced them.

But, I still have nights like tonight. I still wake up to the reality that my worst nightmare is in fact my reality. I still miss her every day. The missing is not the same though. It is more distant. I can't remember her well enough anymore. It kills me to say that but it is just the truth. I don't remember the feel of her in my arms. It is hard to recall the feeling of presence.

Of course, right now, on the heels of that dream, she is closer. I remember right now. I feel as if I have just travel 5 years back into my past. I am tired and want to go back to sleep but I am scared to close my eyes and let my mind wander freely again. So I write to get the images out.

It was wonderful having my mom and dad visit last month for my birthday. But saying goodbye at the airport was so hard. Seeing them reminded me of all I left behind when we moved here. I didn't really appreciate the loss of living close to them when we moved because they had been living in Africa for a year and I was used to them being half a world away. And even when they returned, I was so used to a phone relationship that the loss didn't hit me.

But as I held my mother before she had to go get on the plane, it did hit. And I cried. I remembered how nice it was to be able to see them whenever I wanted and the joy of just having them in my presence brings me. In that moment I felt the love and wonderful feelings of all those I left in Las Vegas. I remembered and I mourned.

And so it goes with this whole grieving thing. Most of the time I am fine. I miss her but with a dull missing fogged over by years of time. But once in while, something slices through the fog of time and brings me right back to my early days of grief and I am left to mourn.

My birthday

Look who showed up to surprise me for my birthday! Best birthday presents ever!!! I had no idea they were coming. My mom kept telling me she was too tired to travel and they would just come when they felt better (which I thought could be months from now.) 

Saturday my sister in law told me she had a present for her kids she wanted to hide in my garage she wanted me to come open the garage so I could help her bring it in. I opened the garage and these two were there all smiles.

We will be having a great week together so if I don't post as often, that's why.

39 is awesome!!!

My dad.

I know I am repeating here but you know how my dad fixes my problems? Yea. Did it again today. 1200 miles away and over the phone talked me through getting my Christmas lights to work again (the outlet they were plugged into stopped working) on a house he has never seen.

Morgan Harris is the Boss!

Home

I am glad my parents are home safe from their mission. It is very nice to be able to talk to my mom in real time without worrying about their internet or power going out.  :-)

Sabrina

I might have posted about her already in my thankful posts but I am again thankful for my daughter Sabrina. She leads the way in our family. She is such a good girl and so helpful to me in so many ways. She is a gift to me in every way. I am blessed beyond measure to have such a wonderful daughter. I am grateful for her and that she hasn't (fingers crossed here ... yet) turned into a raging hormonal teenager.

I love you Saby!!!

Noble update

I am grateful noble is feeling "much more better."

NO SCREENS - Noble update

I am so grateful for this challenge. It has really made me step it up personally to be a better me. This week we are limited to 25 minutes of personal screen time (that includes blogging.) So I will be writing short or in a paper gratitude journal this week.


UPDATE on Noble**************************

I have asked about meningitis extensively. The doctor is pretty sure it isn't that. But we are taking the antibiotics just in case. But he said kids with that aren't up and playing in the snow like Noble is and they don't normally have swollen lymph nodes like Noble does. Since it takes a spinal tap to confirm and that is really traumatic he said he wouldn't recommend that unless he gets worse.

As for the one tale tale sign that Noble has (the painful neck thing.) He said it is likely being caused by the nodes. They are painful to the touch to Noble so it hurts look up because it squeezes the nodes in his muscles of his neck. He doesn't have any of the other symptoms of meningitis.

Today, his nodes seem a little smaller to me and he says it hurts less to move his head. He still has a fever and is more whiney than normal but other than that he is up and playing. I am hoping we are going to be feeling all better soon.

Snow or Ice? Bacteria or Virus?

This is the view I woke up to this morning. I slept up in the boys rooms first with Harrison from 1-3 then with Noble from 3-9. 

Noble has some crazy sickness. He has been complaining about his neck hurting all week. Yesterday he was in so much pain he couldn't stop crying and I discovered he also had a fever. 

I took him to the doctor and they tested for strep, mono, and did a CBC. The first two were negative but his white blood cell counts are elevated and his lymph nodes are swollen big and are painful to touch. He also couldn't turn his head or look up.

They have him 2 heavy duty shots of antibiotic and told me to come back tomorrow so they could check his blood again.

Last night we had freezing rain. It looks like snow out there but it is actually like a big solid sheet of ice all over. Only one of the doctor's offices was open due to the weather and it is 7 miles away.

So with great trepidation I headed out to ice skate my car to the doctor.

Very few people brave the roads in this kind of weather. Jon's flight was cancelled and he was told to work from home.

We made it safely to the doctor without too much trouble. Unfortunately the antibiotics didn't work. Nobles white blood cell count was higher today and his lymph nodes are still huge and his neck still hurts and he still has a fever.

The doctor said it was probably some crazy virus. He gave us a antibiotic to take just in case and told us to watch him and come back if he gets any worse.

So we are waiting and watching.

I am grateful for modern medicine even though they haven't figured everything out yet.

I am also grateful for the beauty of this snowy icy day.

Christmas lights beneath  light the hard packed ice.

Ice storm

I am grateful for the ice storm that will be forcing some quality family time tomorrow. I hope everyone can stay home and stay safe!

Jonathan

I am thankful for my husband in so many ways and for so many reasons. Here are 40 of them. :-)

1 He is intelligent.

2 He is interesting.

3. He is sensitive to my feelings.

4. He strives to do what is right.

5. He makes me laugh.

6. He has a cute bum.

7. He is creative.

8. He values people far more than things.

9. He is thrifty.

10. He loves and honors his mother and father.

11. He makes me want to be a better person.

12. He makes great avocado shakes.

13. He has nice hands.

14. He loves to read.

15. He is curious.

16. He is a verifier.

17. He plays beautiful music on the piano and a little on the guitar.

18. He is a hard worker.

19. He appreciates the arts.

20. He loves babies.

21. He has just the right amount of ambition.

22. He has beautiful eyes.

23. He likes to travel.

24. He is a wonderful father.

25. He has great gospel insights.

26. We are equally yoked in every way.

27. He helps me around the house when he's home.

28. His children adore him.

29. He makes me feel beautiful.

30. He even loves my ugly parts.

31. He is strong.

32. He isn't a push over.

33. He usually lets me win arguments. :-)

34. He is supportive of my dreams and desires.

35. He is a good example to me of sticking to a good routine.

36. He is reasonable.

37. He has a solid and deep testimony of the gospel and especially of the Atonement.

38. He is a great provider for our family.

39. He is a faithful, worthy, and humble priesthood holder.

40. He loves me, the good and the bad, all-in, devotedly.

Wind chimes

The former owner of our house left behind some wind chimes in the back yard. I have never owned wind chimes before. Now they feel like the sound track of our lives here. I love them!

I am thankful for the wind chimes that sweetly remind me that life is magical.

Whoa! It's December!

This year was a quick turn around between Thanksgiving and the holiday gift scrambling madness. I can't believe it is already December. 

Today I am grateful for wonderful new friends. One of my friends here has agreed to a kid swapping system that will let each of us have a few free hours a week to Christmas shop, go to the temple, or do whatever else we need. I am going to go get some shopping done.

Maybe I'll even find something for Jon? 

Modern Transportation

Despite the traffic jam we are enjoying right now, I am grateful for our modern transportation that allows us air conditioning and heat while we travel great distances in a relatively short span of time.

It is through the blessings that we are able to spend time with family on holidays. We had a fabulous time with our family in Memphis. I am grateful to have them close enough to drive and visit. We miss them already!

A Beautiful Season

Fall in Dallas has been a wonder of color and bipolar weather. I have enjoyed living in a place where I really get to see the colors of the season again. It makes me think Fall is my favorite season. But then, I haven't seen Spring in Dallas yet.

This has also been a beautiful season of life for me. My anxiety over the boys safety is lessening as they leave the "put things in my mouth" stage and are getting to understand it is not safe to just escape the house and run in the street.  Most night they sleep through the night.

But I haven't quite hit full teen drama with Sabrina yet either. My kids are young and simple and pure and safe for now. This is a beautiful season. I don't know how long it will last but it makes me think it is perhaps my favorite season. But then, I haven't experienced those many seasons yet to come yet either. 

But for today, I am grateful for the beauty of the season in in.

Thanksgiving Feast

I am grateful for having days of plenty... Plenty of food, plenty of love, and plenty of warmth.

This year we traveled to Memphis to be with Jon's brother and sister in law Aaron and Carolyn. Aaron smoked a couple of turkeys. They were the best turkeys I've ever had. 

We made all my favorite sides and pies. It was a great feast!

Two year old

The other day I took Harrison to the doctor. She was doing her exam and needed to look at his throat. She asked him to stick out his tongue. He just looked at her puzzled. She kept explaining that she needed him to stick out his tongue out so she could see his throat.

Finally she went to go get a tongue depressor. Then Harrison stuck out his elbow and said "Dare it is!"

"No silly, that is your elbow!" I said. Then I showed him his tongue and he stuck it out. 

I love two year olds! I am grateful I have one.

Breathing

As a person with asthma, I am grateful for every time I can take a good deep breath and let it out without any wheezing or coughing. My little boys are both coughing and wheezing today and it just makes me glad I am not.

Sleep

I am grateful for every full night of sleep I get. Those nights are not uncommon these days but I have had enough years of little or interrupted sleep to make me treasure a full night of dreams.

It's been a long day of errands and appointments and I am ready for bed.

Here is a photo of my first appointment today.

Sabrina got braces on this morning. Let the fun begin I guess.

Home teachers

One of many programs in the Mormon church I appreciate is the home teaching program. It is a program where two men are assigned to watch over your family and give assistance as needed. They are supposed to come monthly to share a message and also assess the family's need.

I am grateful for our home teachers and the effort they put into filling that assignment. For about 10 years we didn't have home teachers who came. So it has just been in the last 2-3 years that we have been regularly home taught. I am so grateful for the patience these men have shown as our kids have been learning how to behave for home teachers.

Tonight was the first time that my kids all sat in the room and didn't complain or say rude things to the home teachers.  :) I made cookies to celebrate this huge improvement.

Granted we still have a long way to go toward listening to the lesson and participating appropriately but I will take what I can get for now.

Music

Tonight Jon and I are headed to the JFK memorial concert of the Dallas symphony featuring Joshua Bell. I am excited for the wonderful music I will hear. 

I am grateful for good music that lifts the soul and spirit. Music can completely change the tone in your home. Good music can make you run faster, act sillier, and be happier. 

I am grateful for all kinds of good music.

Weekends

I love weekends. It means I get to be with my family. That makes me happy. I am grateful for Saturdays that we get to enjoy together doing fun things. I am also grateful for the gift of the Sabbath day to us. What a blessing this day of rest has been to me in my life!

Life is so busy and hectic. Right now I don't have a calling or job at church that requires much attention on Sundays so I really get to enjoy reconnecting with the Lord and my family members on this gift of a day. I love that.

I am grateful for weekends and am looking forward to this one!

Mother in law

How many people can honestly say they are grateful for their mother-in-law? I can without hesitation! 

Today is my mother-in-law's birthday. She is a wonderful woman and an incredible example to me in so very many ways. I am grateful Jonathan finally fell in love with me and wanted to marry me so I could have the honor of being related to his mother Kathleen Waite. :)

Thanks for raising 9 wonderful children, Mom! I love every one of them and I love you and Dad too! Your selfless example and faithful covenant keeping life is a legacy for us all to strive to live up to .

Happy Birthday! 

Lauren, my little chef

I am grateful for my healthy eater Lauren. She inspires me to have better eating habits. She makes great smoothies and other kitchen treats. 

This is her latest creation...multi-berries. It is a blueberry stuffed into a raspberry stuffed into a hulled out strawberry. Delicious and nutritious!

I love my sweet silly Lauren!

Thanksgiving

I have been studying the history of Thanksgiving today. I didn't remember many of the specifics about that first feast and how Thanksgiving became a national holiday. So I have been enlightened today.

I am more grateful than I have ever been for the Thanksgiving holiday. I am so grateful for Squanto and what a miracle he must have been to those pilgrims who had endured so much on their journey to find religious freedom and a place where their children would come to know God. Surely The Lord was in the storm that pushed them off coarse to make them land in Massachussets instead of Virginia. 

What a miracle it must have been to them to have an English speaking and educated Native American to teach them how to survive in this new world!

It is yet another example of how The Lord uses trials as blessings in our lives. I am sure those pilgrims did not feel "blessed" to have such a fierce storm hit them on their journey. It nearly forced them to turn back as it broke their mast and made leaks in the ship. 

But they had brought a large metal screw that allowed them to fix the mast. They had materials to seal the leaks. The Lord always provides a way for us to get through the storms so that may one day realize the blessing. 

All their sacrifice and loss would no doubt bring them closer to that God they sought to worship. Indeed the first Thanksgiving feast is evidence that they knew by whom they had been kept and preserved.

I will be celebrating Thanksgiving with a new appreciation for the holiday this year. I will be remembering the great freedoms we have in this land. I will be thankful for such a rich history of faithful people seeking The Lord. I will be grateful for the storms in my life that have pushed me off my coarse and onto God's.

2013 Family Photo

I am so grateful to have a visiting teacher who is also a photographer. What luck huh? Thanks Brittny for taking this lovely photo of our family. I am grateful for each of the people in this photo and their love for me and each other.

Morgan D. Harris

I am my father's daughter. I am grateful for him today and everyday. He is 77 today. He is in Africa, in Nairobi, Kenya on a mission for our church. He and my mom bring wells of fresh water to villages, give wheelchairs to those in need, and do other humanitarian efforts there.

My dad is one of the biggest hearted people I know. He loves people and will do anything he can to help a friend. He has been a rock for me throughout my life and I have called him for help in the middle of the night or at 4 am or whenever I have really needed him. He has always come to my aid. I will share a couple of those stories for your entertainment.

One day when Jon and I were dating, my car got towed. I was living in D.C. and parked out in front of my house while we went to grab Jon's luggage and take him to their airport to go back home to L.A. In the time we went into the house my car was towed. I hadn't realized we were in a no parking time right then. So I hailed a cab for Jon and the next morning before work my roommate took me to the impound lot to get my car.

Now I didn't live in a nice part of D.C. In fact, one cabbie who took me home said, "You don't actually live here do you?" When I said I did he said, "Lady, you gotta move! This is not a good place." I told him it was not that bad to which he replied, "No it is. I got shot a block from here. You gotta move."

Well as bad as my area was, the impound lot was WAY worse. It was in one of the areas I was scared to go to and trust me when I say not much scared me back then. So my roommate dropped me off and headed to work and I walked into the impound office in my business suit and heels feeling very out of place and asked for my car.

That's when they lady told me I couldn't get my car out because it was registered in my dad's name. I tried to see if there was any way she could call my dad and he could let me get the car. No deal. She said I would have to have him go get a notarized statement and have it sent to the impound to get the car.

I was beside myself. I was stranded and scared. This was not an area where cabs drove by regularly. I walked out of the office and saw a pay phone. Luckily, while I didn't have a cell phone back then, my parents had a 1-800 number we could use to call in case of an emergency. I used it.

It was between 7:00-8:00 a.m. in D.C. that means between 3:00 and 4:00 a.m. Las Vegas time. I didn't even think about that as I dialed the number. I woke my dad up of course. I was crying. I explained my situation. I don't know what I thought he would be able to do from his bed 3000 miles away but that didn't even give me pause. My dad just always was able to help me when I was in trouble and so calling him was instinct.

He told me to put the impound lady on the phone. Well, she was in the office and I was out on the street, so I couldn't do that. I told him that she wasn't going to budge. I had already done my best to persuade her. He told me to wait 5 minutes and call him back. He was going to call her.

So I hung up. 5 minutes later I called back. He told me to go in the office. She would ask to see my ID and give me the car. Miracle right? No that is just my dad. Apparently, my mom's name, Ann Harris, was also on the registration and my name is Stephanie Ann Harris. He told the lady I was on the registration but that he had used my middle name on the registration not my first. I was never more grateful to be named after my mother.

So I showed my ID and she showed me my car. I got in to find out the lights had been left on and the battery was dead. I had jumper cables but no one to give me a jump. The lady said she couldn't help me with that. So I went back to the street with my jumper cables to try and find a good Samaritan in the hood. I thought I had it made when a police car came by. I ran up to him and asked for his help. He told me he wouldn't give me a jump and that I really shouldn't be in that neighborhood. Thanks copper. Thanks. And he drove off.

After about 15 minutes doing all I could to get someone to stop, short of hiking up my skirt, the lady from the office finally came out and took pity on me and told me that although it was against policy, she would use one of the impound cars to give me jump. I have no doubt this change of heart was prompted by my father's phone call and the way he connected with her the way he did and does will all people. I finally got out of there. Thanks be to my father.

A second story: my scariest experience ever.

One night when I was a very young child I turned my light off and took my customary two giant steps toward my bed and jumped up onto it. I had an antique iron bed that was almost a foot off the ground with nothing underneath and covers that came to just inches from the floor. I was always scared something would be hiding under there to get me since that was a place I often hid.

So I would jump onto my bed from as far away as possible each night. As I laid there trying to fall asleep, I felt my bed move. I froze in fright. Being the completely logical reasonable girl I was, I started to come up with how my bed could move on its own that were NOT my fear of a monster being under there.

Maybe the wind did it. No the window was closed. Maybe I had moved and didn't realize it. Hmmm. Maybe? So I laid perfectly still, frozen in place and waited. And the bed DEFINITELY moved again. At this point, I screamed, "DAAAAAADDDD!!!!" My dad was half asleep as he came to my room, turned on the light and asked me what was wrong.

"Something's under my bed!" I told him. At this point he signed an exhausted sign and said, "Stephanie, there is nothing under your bed. Look under your bed and see so we can all go back to bed."

"Nu uh! No way! There is SOMETHING under my bed!!!"

He tried again to persuade me to look under my bed so I could see my fears were unfounded and we could go to bed. I would not. No way. "YOU look under my bed!" I said. Seeing I was firm in my decision, he said, "Fine. If I come look under your bed will you then look and see there is nothing there so we can go to bed?"

I considered this. After a few moments I consented. So my dad walked over to my bed and while lifting the bed spread so he could look under my bed and slowly bending down he kept his eyes on me. He had a little half grin on his face and twinkle in his eye as he teasingly said to me, "I'm looking under your bed. I'm looking under your bed..."

At this point the something under my bed reached out and grabbed my dad's ankle.

In one fail swoop and with a startled yelp, my dad was OUT of my room and in the hall. And I was left alone with the thing under my bed!

Then I heard my older sister Lesli laughing... from under my bed. She got us both... good. I learned that it is good to face your fears. They are most likely not as scary as you think.

Hope you enjoyed those two stories. I love my dad and I am grateful for him.

Family photos

We took family photos today. We also saw my nephew Bunker get baptized. Oh and we had a few other things on the agenda too that basically have all combined to wear me out tonight.

So I will be short in just saying how grateful I am for family photos... Especially these...

Forever families

Today, for the first time in quite a long time, I have just really been feeling a great longing to hold Camille. Maybe it is because Harrison is getting bigger and feels less like a baby every day. And knowing I am not having another baby, my arms are beginning to feel more empty.

But even as I feel these intense almost tangible longings to squeeze her little thigh and kiss her sweet cheeks, I know that she will be mine again one day. The day will come when I will be able to satisfy this longing perfectly.

I am so thankful to have been taught the true doctrine of the Eternal nature of the family from my birth. I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who will one day right all wrongs and fill with joy the cavities carved into our souls by sorrows of this world.

I am grateful to be sealed by the Holy Priesthood of God by one authorized to use that power even as Peter was in the meridian of time. 

I miss my Camille. I am grateful that my family can one day be all together Eternally. I am grateful for Eternal families.

Annie

Few stars shine as brightly as my Annie. I feel honored to be her mother. She has a fever today and has been hanging around snuggling up with the boys and me. It has been wonderful to get to spend all the extra time with her. 

This morning I told a friend about how hard she was as a baby. She would just cry inconsolable for hours. She forced me to step up my parenting game as a toddler. But every year she has gotten easier to parent and more well behaved. 

It is not uncommon now for her to gently point out ways I need to improve in my parenting or things I need to do to help her siblings learn something I have taught her. Nearly always her "advice" or "reproach" is right on point. I love her mind, her wisdom, her talents, her cuteness, her strength... I just love her.

I am grateful for my Annie.

Children

Children are an heiritage of The Lord. I was mightily blessed to be able to conceive children quickly and easily. I am so grateful I was able to give birth to my 6 lovely children.

Yesterday I read a real and honest post of a friend of mine. She and her husband did not have this fertility blessing. Three years ago they were finally able to adopt an adorable little boy who has become one of Harrison's best friends. Harrison asks daily if he can oh to Jacobs house.

Jacob's parents, Jana and Rob, have been working to adopt a sibling for Jacob  for the past two years. You think waiting 9 months for a baby is hard. Then you get a view from an adopting mother's eyes.

I thought I would share a link to Jana's blog post that spoke to me yesterday. I hope if anyone one out there who reads this knows someone who is thinking of giving a child up for adoption, that you will consider Jana and Rob.

Check out their blog At robandjana.blogspot.com

Work

Jonathan has left for work. The girls are off to school. I am hanging out with the boys. Today I express my gratitude for my husband's employment.

I know how blessed I am to be able to stay at home with my children. I am so grateful for my husband and his faithfully working to support our family. I am also grateful to his employer for hiring him, his coworkers who seem like great people and make the time Jon spends in the office enjoyable.

I also give thanks to my brother Stephen for his networking help that led the way to finding this job.

Most of all I thank God for opening these employment doors for us and for preserving our health and mental acuity so that both Jon and I can do those jobs required of us.

Freedom

Being that it is Veteren's Day, I thought it apt to express my gratitude to have been born in the USA and for the freedoms that come from that citizenship. More importantly, I am deeply and humbly grateful for all the men and women who have bravely put their lives on the line in the fight to gain and maintain those freedoms I enjoy on a daily basis.

America has lots of issues we all know. But it is the best county in the world in my view. May God bless our country and guide our leaders to act wisely in governing our nation and preserving the freedoms god has granted us that are protected by our Constitution and Bill of Rights.

On a somewhat related note, I read last night in Team of Rivals about William Henry Seward defending an insane black man in a terrible massacre trial. As a criminal defense attorney, this story of his courage to stand up and defend a man no one else would made my respect for him grow by leaps and bounds. I love also that his wife stood proudly by his side the whole time. This is one of the freedoms for which I am grateful. No matter how awful your sinful crime, in America every accused is given an attorney that will stand with the and speak for them at the judgement bar.

I hope I am found worthy at the last day to have Christ serving as my "public defender" at that great and last judgement bar of God.

Chocolate

Today is one of the first days in my no sugar challenge that I really just want a treat. I mean I want a fat brownie sundae with hot fudge and some rich hot chocolate with real whip cream on the side. 

Sigh.

But since I can't eat that and still get my point, I thought maybe I would write about it instead. :) I am grateful to those wonderful people who invented our modern version of chocolate. Now if I can just master my powers of moderation, I can enjoy the yumminess of chocolate once again.

***********************

Problem solved! Chocolate craving satisfied!

I invented a delicious sugar free homemade hot chocolate! This is totally gonna help me thru this challenge.

8 ozs. Milk heated

2 T good unsweetened cocoa powder (perigino here)

1/3 cup stevia

Sweet Sabrina

Today I am grateful that my almost teenage daughter is still sweet and loving and wonderful in every way! Love her!

Crazy Good

Today a friend offered to watch my kids so I could go to our Stake temple day. When I got to the temple I was surprised to see that every parking spot was taken. About 15-20 cars were looking for some place to park!

I circled the lot till finally someone pulled out right by me and I took their spot. Inside I saw familiar faces from church. Temple workers were scrambling trying to service the massive numbers of patrons. I have never seen a temple so busy. It was crazy and wonderful.

It took me 3 hours to get my one family name baptized, confirmed and ready for endowment. But watching my Stake presidency serve as the witnesses and name projector person in the baptistery was a really special. 

The temple is always wonderful and always has a great spirit inside but today with what felt like half my Stake in there, it had an extra measure of special and wonderful.

I am thankful to have a temple in our day and for the covenants Jonathan and I made there which bind us and all our posterity together forever. 

Parking at the temple today. That's my silver minivan on the right.

I am also grateful the lady who double parked behind me today wasn't in a session and could be found so I could get home to my kids!

My Savior

Today and each and every day I am grateful beyond words expression for my Savior Jesus Christ. I know He lives. In Him alone is the power to forgive sins. Through His Grace we can be made perfect. I know that through the power of His atoning sacrifice we who have been broken in spirit by sorrow or trial can in time be made whole.

I know He loves me more than I can bear to fully feel. And I know He loves you. I have felt a portion of His love for others as I have served others in His name. 

I am grateful for Him and what He has done personally for me in my life. I am indebted eternally. My life, happily, is His to do with as He sees fit. I love my Savior and am so grateful for Him.

The Holy Ghost

Last night Jonathan and I went with some lovely young sister missionaries to teach a lesson to a Brazilian woman. Her English is great but they wanted someone there who might be able to bear a testimony to her in Portuguese. Since Jonathan served his mission in Brazil, he could do that.

We had a wonderful time meeting this new friend. She is really such a wonderful and amazing person who really is looking to grow closer to the Lord. The missionaries taught a lesson on recognizing the Spirit. At one point they asked me to share how the Spirit helps me in my life to know truth.

Answering that question and our discussion last night just makes me recognize how wholly dependent I am on the Spirit in my life to guide, protect, teach, purify and comfort me.

I am eternally and daily grateful for the precious gift of the Holy Ghost which I strive daily to RECEIVE.

Best part of living in Texas

This morning I made a lightning fast Target run to buy Harrison a new car seat. He threw up in his while I was out of town and despite Jon's best cleaning efforts, it just still smells.

When I got back I put it in the car and then I saw the big empty box sitting by the recycling bin.

Today I am grateful for my sister in law Rachel. As I looked at that box, I remembered how this summer she brought her kids over and we made spaceships out of out old moving boxes. She inspired me to be a more fun and hands on mom this morning.

I brought in the box and got out the markers and Noble and Harrison began decorating. Then Noble said, "thanks mom for letting us build a spaceship!"

During our decorating above and after the boys were ready to play something else.  Just need to document that once upon a time I actually did something fun with my kids. :)

I made pretend iPads for each boy and pockets for them in the spaceship.

Having my brother Stephen and his wife Rachel 10 minutes away is by far the best part of living in Texas. I am so grateful for them in so many ways. This morning I am particularly grateful for Rachel and how she inspires me to be a more hands on and fun mom by her example. Thanks Rach!

Annie

This morning as I was running the kids to school, Annie asked if my running was part of my health challenge. I told it was.

From that point on she began cheering me on. She would ride ahead of me on her scooter. Then she would stop and cheer and put her hand out to give me a high five as I passed her.  Then repeat. All the time saying "you can do it mom! Keep running! Go mom!"

How many people have their own personal cheerleader? I am so grateful for my Ann Marie!

Snow

I am in the Salt Lake City airport waiting to fly home. Outside is a world of white as fat clusters of snowflakes drop lazily from the heavens. I am grateful for the beauty and the wonder of snow and that I had a chance to see it on my short trip to the mountainous West.

Ok here are the 10 things:

1-read 20 mins of holy writ each day

2-eat 6 servings fruit/veggies per day

3-drink 6 cups of water per day

4-write in gratitude journal daily

5-exercise for 30 minutes 5 days a week

6-consume no more than 1 serving refined sugar per day

7-no eating after 8 pm

8-work on a personal goal of your choosing (mine is to read 8 pages of Team of Rivals daily so I can finish it)

9-wild card (changes weekly- this week no soda)

10-record daily point tally to score board.

Crazy Family

Today I attended the graveside service for my cousin Jon. I got to see and remeet most of my Harris family cousins. We are all a bit crazy in one way or another and I love them all! I am grateful for my hard working, know it all cousins.

A New Day

It is November again. And while we don't typically think of November as a month of new beginnings, this one is for me. A friend invited me to join an overall health challenge. It gives daily goals for 8 weeks like drinking water and not eating sugar and reading scriptures and exercising. There are 10 daily goals each worth a point for each day you do them. 

One of the daily goals is to write in a gratitude journal. That fits well with my November tradition of gratitude posts. So until thanksgiving (and maybe after) I will be putting my gratitude journal in my posts.

Today as I ran for my 30 minutes of daily exercise, I had to go a little further than my normal route of taking the kids to school. As I ran through the park near our home, the sun was just peaking over the horizon.

I stopped to take a photo for this post because today I am grateful for new beginnings. I am so grateful for repentance and that The Lord allows each of us as many new beginnings as we need to get it right. That no matter how much candy you ate the night before or how long it has been since you prayed or read your scriptures, you can wake up the next day and resolve to be a new sugar free, praying, scripture-reading you.

So thank you to my good friend Catherine for inviting me to join this challenge and make November a month of new beginnings. And thank you to her sister Brooke for the idea and putting it all together. I have been needing something just like this to get the sun on my new beginning to rise up.

Fall in Texas

Sometimes I just ache to hold her.

My kids are growing up. My babies are not really babies anymore. We have moved on to a new chapter in life in so many ways. It is a good chapter so far. I am meeting new characters who are enriching my life. We are growing in new ways. In some ways it feels like I have lived here or been here in Texas forever but it still somehow isn't quite home yet.

It was a lovely fall day today. The soft air was a perfect temperature as I ran the kids to school. I slowed to a walk on my return to savor the season. It just felt like Fall. I decided I like Fall in Texas.

One fun thing I have done this fall in an effort to get to know my neighbors better is to host a weekly "community soup night" at my home. I invited my 50 closest neighbors to come to my home for a cup or bowl of soup each Tuesday in October. Tonight is the last soup night. I ask them to bring their own bowl and spoon to save me from the dishes or mess. I make a big batch of soup and we chat. It is like a little open house once a week. It has been an easy way to get to know some of my more social neighbors.

So far I have made sweet corn soup, carrot ginger soup, butternut squash soup, beef and barley chili, and tonight it is pumpkin soup on the menu. Each has turned out pretty well, but I think the sweet corn and pumpkin are probably my favorites.

When I have leftovers, I freeze them in muffin tins and pop them in a ziplock bag in the freezer for a quick lunch for myself or easy dinner to a sick friend.

It has been lots of fun and I have met about 8 new neighbors through it. How do you best get to know your neighbors?

Mourn with those who Mourn

This weekend we took a quick family trip down to San Antonio. It was a last minute decision. That meant quite a bit of last minute planning for me. So Thursday was a rather busy day. Late Thursday night I texted with my friend Britt. Her son Daxton died the same week my Camille did - both in tragic, unexpected accidents. We have been close friends since we found each other online just weeks after our lives were changed forever.

She had posted about a missionary who had passed away so I texted to find out who it was exactly. Turns out it was her husbands little brother. My heart broke for her family, enduring yet again such a close and too soon loss of one so young. I told her I wished I could do something, take some of the weight of the grief for her. But knowing what I know about how unfixable grief is, especially in the early fresh stages, I was left with little of comfort to offer.

The next morning Britt got up early to drive her family to Idaho where her husband grew up. I got up just an hour later to drive my family to San Antonio. It was still the dark of night for both of us. My family quickly fell asleep and I was left alone in the dark with my thoughts. My thoughts were on my friend.

I thought of her driving in the dark, just like I was. I thought of the weight of grief on her shoulders and on her husband's shoulders as well. And I remembered feeling just a little bit that having others mourn with me when I was fresh in my grief did help me carry the load just a bit.

And so I prayed as I drove. I prayed for my friends and her family and for her husband's family. And I prayed that I might be able to lighten their load just a little bit, to help them bear this too heavy cross that weighs on an already tender spot in their heart. And I wept. I mourned with deep soul filled mourning.

I would like to think that somehow I did share a bit of the dark road with my friend that early morning. I felt an over powering charitable love for her family as I mourned with them those dark and quiet hours. I believe this is what is meant by our covenant to mourn with those who mourn. I think that in so doing, maybe we do in fact getting a better understanding of the Atonement and maybe we really do get to lighten that burden for another just a little bit.



*********************************
On a separate note: To the commenter that asked more specifics on my previous post. The parenting dilemma - basically this move has been stressful on all of us, obviously. But this has allowed me to see how each of my kids deals with stress. Each has dealt with it differently, but it has shown up in everyone. For one of my kids, I think it produced some anxiety that is above normal. It showed me that I need to help her find good ways to deal with anxiety and stress. I am glad to know this about her when she is young rather than when she is a teenager and may be less willing to open up to me and less willing to go see someone to get help.

Homesick

Today marks 4 months since our last night at home in Las Vegas. Texas is a lovely place and the weather has finally cooled off. It is green and the people are friendly and kind. The sky here is huge and beautiful and often inspiring.

But I am just feeling a little bit homesick. I know it seems crazy to miss the desert, but I do. I miss the people there whom I love so much. I miss our house. I miss the purple mountains and desert storms. I just miss home.

I have dealt with homesickness plenty of times before. I am sure I will deal with it many times again. It isn't so fun. But really there are lots of worse things to deal with in the world. So I am going to count my blessings.

Let me tell you 10 things I love about Texas in an effort to look on the bright side.

10- We have a big grassy backyard.
9- I have some really friendly kind neighbors.
8- The church congregation (ward) I go to here is full of great people who are teaching me new things and becoming good friends to me.
7- The State fair has really good lemonade and corn dogs.
6- The Perot Museum is amazing and we have an annual pass.
5- We have season passes to Six Flags and it isn't crowded all the time.
4- I found an amazing piano teacher for my kids.
3- This move has brought to light some parenting issues that I might not have seen if we had stayed in Vegas.
2- We get to spend lots of time with my brother Stephen and his lovely family.
1- Jon has a great job that he enjoys doing.

Well, I am going to keep adding to that list on my own time. Thanks for listening and if you are in Las Vegas--- hope you are feeling my love come through.

Brisket Tacos/Quesadillas

I am really missing my dinner group over here. It has reminded me what a chore it is to come up with what is for dinner Every. Single. Day! Well, one of the best dinners to come from my dinner group was a version of THIS recipe for Brisket Tacos that my friend Emily Hoopes made one week. I loved them and asked for the recipe. She directed me to the link for the recipe.

I decided to make them again last week. But here is the beautiful discovery I made-- This can be a meal made from leftovers of another of my favorite meals! I love it when that happens.

So last week I took dinner to one of Jon's co-workers family. The wife recently had back surgery. I decided to make french dip sandwiches. Normally I make these after a recipe Bari Earl gave me. (Her daughter Emily is one of my best friends and writes and amazing food and crafty type blog ReMarkable Home.)

This recipe is awesome and makes a ton of food.

French Dip Sandwiches
Basically you buy a beef roast. You can get whatever is on sale. I got top round roast this time. I got 2 so about 5 lbs.
Normally you would put the meat in your crockpot, cover with water and put in 2-4 packs of Dry Italian Salad Dressing Seasoning packets and the same amount of Dry Lipton Onion Soup packets.
This time I did 2 of each kind of seasoning packet. (You can use more if you like the meat more flavored or you have more meat)
Then instead of water I poured in a 16 oz bottle of Dr. Pepper. Then I added enough water to cover the meat.
Next I cooked the meat on low in my crock pot for 8 hours.
I then shreded the meat with forks, removing any particularly fatty portions.
I then cooked another 2 hours on low.

I caramelized some onions and got some crusty rolls and sliced cheese.
Add a little spicy mustard and there is you french dip sandwich. Only I don't actually dip it. The juice it is sitting in is enough for me.
This is also great on Costco's pretzel rolls.

After I made this meal, I had lots of my beef left over. I made sandwiches for lunch the next couple of days and then last night I used the beef to make these tacos.
I had the cheese called for and made the Mango barbecue sauce as directed in the recipe except that I didn't have a yellow onion so I used a red one instead. And I accidentally dumped the whole 9 oz bottle of mango chutney in the mix and decided to leave it that way.

The result was OUT. OF. THIS. WORLD! Okay I know I am being a bit dramatic and in all fairness I was fasting for a dear friend of mine yesterday. (Fasting means to go without food or drink for two meals or 24 hours. It is something we Mormons do once a month and donate the money we would have used to eat to the poor. We also do it to increase spiritual awareness, self mastery, and give greater emphasis and power to our prayers. See more HERE about fasting.) And I will grant that every thing tastes better when eaten after fasting.

But when Jon came home from doing a visit he tried one and was amazed too. He had not been fasting so it made me a bit more sure that this really was THAT good. And I just had another one of the leftover tacos for breakfast (is that legal?) and, yes, it is that good.

I would put a photo up but I am not so great with the whole food photography thing and I don't want to steal the photos from Shawda. But you can see what they look like on her blog HERE.

Put it on your menu this week. Two yummy meals out of one crock pot of beef. What could be better?

Back At It 1001

1001 Seems like a fresh start number I think. This morning I woke up feeling like I wanted to go for a long run. I do feel that way sometimes. It started when I started running in college. I ran 15 minutes everyday except Sundays for about a year my sophomore year.

Then in my junior year I had a roommate and dear friend Tonna who was a runner. She asked me to go running with her. I was intimidated because I had only run short distances and I knew she was a cross country kind of girl. But she was so fun that I said I would try. Before I knew it I was running with her for a hour several times a week. We ran a couple of 10ks together. My best time for a 10k was 58 minutes.

So I haven't ever been a super runner but I have enjoyed it in the past. Since then I have run now and then but never consistently like that. And sometimes I get that feeling that I just want to let loose and run all out. But then when I try to do it I realize after about a minute that I am not in shape and my body can't run like my heart wants to.

The last few weeks since school has started I have been running the kids to school. They ride their scooters and I run trying to keep up with them. They are fast. It is a struggle for me to go fast enough to keep them in my sight. So every day I am really pushing myself to go as fast as I can. It is only about a mile to school. On the way home I walk/run.

So this morning when I woke feeling like going running, I took Nike's advice and just did it. The weather was lovely and I picked a nice route with a good variation of uphill and down. When I started to feel tired I hit the button on my iPod to get my time and found I had been running for 20 minutes and had gone over 2 miles.

By the time I got home I had gone 3.2 miles in 32 minutes. I walked a bit at the end to cool down. And I feel great. It is so nice to be able to run. I feel this fresh new start is going to be great.

Me right now with my little Harrison buddy who likes to sit on my lap while I type.

#1000 - Hard But Good

This is officially my 1000th post on my blog. I should announce something big huh? Well most of the big news things that have been happening in my life lately haven't been things I wanted to shout from the rooftops (like our encounter with lice this last week.) Lately, there have been a number of personally very difficult things that have come on either the stage of either my life or the life of someone I love.

But I like to keep my eyes focused on the positive in life whenever I can. And in the midst of the darkest storms there are some amazing moments of brilliant beauty when the  lightening brings a shock of light. These images can stay impressed upon the mind even after they are gone and we are plunged back into the deep darkness of night.

Jon and I went to the wedding of our niece Ella last weekend. She is the first grandchild on either of our sides to get married. All 9 of Jon's siblings and his parents came. It was so fun to have a mini family reunion with them during the wedding festivities. I had the chance to have some really good conversations with a few of Jon's siblings and his parents that really made the trip for me. I love Jon's family... ALL of them, and there are lots of them. It is a great blessing to have wonderful in-laws.

Despite the various trials and challenges each of our family members faces, there is strength in gathering together, praying together, and laughing together. We did lots of all of that last weekend.

And even in our battle with head lice this week, there are positives. Sabrina and Lauren have both been wanting short hair cuts for months. I wouldn't let them because I wanted to see how the Texas humidity would affect their curls first. But in having to check everyone for lice by coming through their hair with a nit comb... well everyone but Annie and I got haircuts.

Lauren and Sabrina will get to go to a salon next week to have a professional clean up the haircut I gave them on Wednesday. Jon has discovered yet another major benefit of being bald. And the little boys are thrilled to get haircuts just like Dad's. :) Sabrina and I will have super clean and soft scalps after all the olive oil and scalp combing treatments we "get" to do. Oh and we both discovered we can totally rock a shower cap! See ... bright side thinking going on here.

Harrison says "hair cut uhhhh like Dado" as he feels his head over and over. I think it makes me look more like Camille which is always a bonus for me.

Okay so Noble doesn't look so "thrilled" here but that is because he is covered in hair. He LOVES his "Dado" cut and says it is "perfect" and he wants to keep it like that forever.

Life can be hard and good at the same time. Perhaps life is best when it is both good and hard. I was thrilled when I asked Sabrina how she was liking being in the top orchestra at her new school. She said the music is hard to play but interesting and she likes it. I thought that was perfect. And sometimes when life is just the right level of hard it too can be interesting and when we keep focused on our blessings it also can be enjoyable.

So a few other new things, I have been running my kids to school in the morning. I don't mean running them in a car. I mean they are on scooters and I am running to try to keep up. It has been great for me...hard but good right?

I started up a new Power of Moms learning circle here. We had our first meeting last night with 10 of our 13 members attending. I am so excited to get going on it. We have a great group of women!

Texas is slowly cooling off and we Waites are slowly integrating ourselves into our new life here. This will end up being a good move for us. It has been hard but good in so many ways.

Well this wasn't an earth shaking post for #1000 but it is what I can share of what my life is like right now-hard but good. I thank the Lord for both.

Just Doing It

I will admit it. I was a bit afraid of getting back to school. That meant losing my 3 biggest helpers for most of the day. It meant getting up at 6 am each morning, and I am not a morning person. It meant going to bed by 10 each night. And I also had this whole "schedule" for myself of the work I would do during the school hours.

So I know I am only 2 days in so far, but this scheduled life is quite wonderful. I get some fresh air each morning walking the girls to school. I get a workout running home. I get time to shower before taking Sabrina to school. And our morning routines have been going smoothly because I get up early to be the oil that moves things along.

One difference I changed this year that I think is going to make a big difference is insisting that we all come down to breakfast together and read scriptures. We have generally read scriptures while eating breakfast but we weren't all around the table and Jon wasn't there. This year, I put it first on the list. I built everyone's schedules around our scripture and prayer / breakfast time. This is now the only meal we get to eat together so we may as well make it a good one.

Additionally, watching the boys has been so much easier than expected. They play so nicely together and with no big sisters with whom to compete they are more easy going.

This experience has made me think what other things have I been hesitant to do because I was scared of how hard they would be.  I am resolved to forget the fear and just do it. Once you get going the work for something worthwhile is always handsomely rewarded.