Sunday, March 31, 2013

Feelings on the move

I really can't put into words how I am feeling about this move. I have so many varied emotions it is hard to identify and keep track of them.

I feel like I have turned the helm of my life over to the Lord. I am a planner. I like to have my whole life planned out. If there is one thing I have learned these last 5 years, it is that life doesn't always go according to plan.

People ask me how long we will be in Dallas. My answer - for as long as it is right for us to be there. Maybe that will be one year, or three. Maybe it will be for 10 years or 20. I don't know. I have turned over the control to Him. I guess we will see what He has in store for me.

I went to Dallas last week. I went to church just 9 hours after landing. The ward was great in the area we want to live. It reminded me that the gospel is the same no matter where you go, just different people doing their best to live it. The people were nice.

I am going to be ok. I will make new friends. The Lord will clear a path for us. That is my hope.

But I am not sure I will ever have friends like the ones I have here. These friendships have been forged through difficult trials. Many of my friends here have seen me at my lowest of lows. They have held me up. They have stood by me when I couldn't stand alone.

Okay, gotta stop thinking about this ... my mascara is all down my face now and my nose is running ... I just can't quite go there yet. I'll head back to denial that I am leaving these wonderful people and this home that I love.

But as much Texas pride as there is down there, I have to say, flying over Lake Mead and seeing those rocky mountains standing as guardians around our valley, I felt a surge of my own state pride. In my mind I heard the state song, "Home means Nevada. Home means the hills. Home means the sage and the pine... Home means Nevada to me."


Anonymous said...

How fortunate for all of you that you are such a deep thinker (although it can be painful at times). :-)

i said...

When HE is in charge, it works out so well...even if there ARE so many wonderful people I miss dearly in Vegas... :)

Anonymous said...

My husband teases me about knowing that song....and I think most people outside of Nevada don't know their state song? Prayers for a quick and peaceful move being sent your way.

Stephanie said...

"Way out in the land of the setting sun..." :)

I haven't read your blog in so long. I'm kind of out of the mode of reading blogs since I've essentially abandoned mine. You are such a great friend and such a great example to me. I don't know that I have ever known anyone who consistently displays such great faith as you. I am grateful to count you as my friend and I will miss you dearly when you are gone.