Monday, October 4, 2010

My Favorite

Which was your favorite talk during conference? Any favorite points made?

My favorite talk was the first one. Elder Holland almost always has one of my favorites. This time it seemed his talk was just one big THANK YOU. I guess just the way I have been feeling lately, it fed me. I wiped silent tears from my face throughout his entire talk. I loved the quote where he said, "I am trying to be voice for the very angels of heaven, in thanking you for every good thing you have ever done, for every kind word you've ever said, for every sacrifice you've ever made, in extending to someone, to anyone, the beauty and blessings of the gospel of Jesus Christ."

His talk just made me want to try that much harder and be that much better at home, at church in my calling, and personally. I loved that he spoke thanking the members and that the prophet spoke on how we need to be grateful. I found there to be so much balance like that in this conference. Like the talk on living a consecrated life and using our time and agency wisely. That one made me feel like I better be doing more and better things with my time. It was followed by President Uckdorf reminding us to keep these simple and stick to the basics - that the fundamentals are what really matter. I felt the two talks back to back tempered each other and gave us a fairly complete idea of how we ought to spend our time.

I loved the talk by Elder Jensen (I stand corrected. It was Elder Larry Lawrence and his WHOLE talk was AMAZING. Elder Jensen's was also good and I will be using it in a lesson I am preparing for my young women.) where me mentioned that sleepovers can be dangerous. It is the first time I have heard that over the pulpit but that has been a rule I have established for our family. I used to go to sleepovers as a kid. But my mother in law who raised 9 children once told me that if she could go back and do one thing different she would not have allowed sleepovers either at her house or others. She didn't expound but I took her statement seriously and have followed her advice. When my kids have been asked to sleepover I tell them (or their very insistent friends) what their grandmother told me and they I just say, "I don't know exactly why Grandma said it but she raised lots of kids and I trust she knew what she was talking about so we are going to follow her advice." Hearing Elder Jensen talk about all the sins he had heard happened at sleepovers when he was a bishop just solidified my mother in laws advice for me.

I thought the talk to the parents was wonderful. I think living the standards we set for our youth in the For the Strength of the Youth pamphlet as parents in critical. How can we ask our youth to keep modest standards of dress, clean music and wholesome media enjoyment, and clean language usage when we are not doing the same?

My kids really grasped onto the analogy of the fishing lure and how Satan would like to catch us with his lures of sin. We had a great talk about that Elder Ballard talk afterward.

I love conference. I feel I have been richly nourished and wisely instructed. Let me know what your favorite parts were.


Sue said...

I loved Elder Holland's talk, too. I loved it for my husband, a very hard-working bishop.


The Robinson's said...

The sleepover one is a good one.

Would you let your kids go to a member of the churchs house? Or a member of the church come stay the night at your house?

My opinon varies. One rule is that I really know the parents.
I do allow sleepovers whether its my house or the friends. BUT... if I do not feel comfortable or my kids do not feel comfortable then they will not go or I will go pick them up.

Good topic!

Brad, Rebecca, Jacob said...

I had a whole thing written out and I went to send it and it disappeared, so I'm sure my thoughts this time won't be as good, but here goes again!

I really liked this quote by Elder Scott: "We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become." I really liked this and am trying to be a nicer, kinder, gentler person because that's what I want to become.

I also really liked Elder Malm's talk where he told the story of the little girl and the broken eggs. It made me ponder how I treat my children and those around me when they do things that are not ideal or what I would have wanted. It made me want to work on my temper and my reactions to things.

I also pondered the sleepover thing. I'm very proud of you for being able to set that rule and for your family supporting you. It's something I've thought about and would like to suggest in my own family, but I'm not sure how much support I'll get. I guess it's worth bringing it up though :)

I'm so glad you felt nourished and like prayers were answered. I too felt like I heard what I needed to hear. I also liked the talks about faith and how to build our faith with scripture study and prayer. Sometimes I feel my own faith lacking and knew I should do something, but I guess I thought the answer would be harder than simply do what we've always been taught. So, my prayers were answered as well. It's amazing how anyone who attends conference - worldwide - can have their prayers answered if they listen with an open heart.

Loved your post!

Karen UK said...

I cried through Elder Hollands talk-it felt so genuine. I loved President Monson's humour in RS conference and President Uchtdorf's jokes too. I haven't seen/heard the sleepover one yet but I'm interested to as we have a family only sleepover rule. My husband and I were both impressed when our oldest was only 3 to decide then and it wouldn't be an issue later and it hasn't been, our children just know that if it's not family they don't sleepover and we only have family sleep here. My 5 year old was playing conference squares (I call it bingo) when you have subjects in squares and when you hear the speaker talk about that thing you cover it but he was ticking each box each time he heard it. I noticed lots of ticks on the box that said Jesus Christ yet I wouldn't have picked that up myself or thought that the Saviour (English spelling) was mentioned a lot but it seems He was. I'm going to look for Elder Jensen's talk now.

Carolyn said...

Totally agree on the no sleep overs Steph! We have said that will be a rule at our house and so I was so glad to hear it from the pulpit too! And now I'm glad to hear that Grandma Waite says so also! Perfect! Maybe with cousins... ha ha ha

Love ya!

Olsens R Us said...

We have not allowed sleepovers for several years now. When our first few kids were young we used to pick and choose who they could stay at but then it became too difficult to say yes to one and no to another. We had our mission president (Fort Worth Dallas mission) speak at our adult stake conference session and he said that as a mission president, and seeing and hearing what he has heard from missionaries- he would NEVER allow a child to sleepover anywhere. Especially in this day and age, we feel that the opportunities for the one child with the cell phone and internet access to show something inappropriate is too great. Kids left alone in late hours with little sleep are not apt to make the best judgement calls, so for our family we have made this choice. Our kids rarely ask anymore, and when they do, we reitterate that we love them and care more about their safety than their temporary happiness of being able to go to the sleepover. Saying no is never easy, but we feel justified when we hear these kinds of talks from those who know the road that something as simple as a sleepover can lead to.

Oh, and my favorite quote was Pres Uchtdorf quoting Leonardo DaVinci "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication"

Stacey said...

My oldest daughter is 11 and in our house we have said no sleepovers as well. Lately I have allowed her to go to a little girls house who is a member of the church. I still wasn't sure about it, but allowed it anyway. I love that no sleepovers was said from the pulpit.

Anonymous said...

A no sleep over rule? I have never heard of such a thing, sleepovers are some of my best memories! When I was seven years old my Shetland Pony and I slept over at my best friend's house with her and her Shetland Pony. I will never forget it.
I'm interested in the comments that say they let their kids sleep over as long as the kids' family is a member of your church, in my experience being a member of any church doesn't automatically make you a good person.

Anonymous said...

Actually it was Elder Lawrence who gave the talk with the sleepover reference. He used to be our Stake Pres. and was fantastic. He gave that instruction to the adults of our stake many years ago. Sleeping over at the home of a family member is not a good idea either. We have seen kids get into just as much trouble when they are with family as with friends. When it's late and parents are not around...that is when the trouble starts.

Stephanie said...

You are right. Being a member of any church is no guarantee of what kind of person you are. We do not let our kids sleep over at any friends houses. We do allow sleepovers at grandma's house. But then there aren't other kids there.

We also do allow them to sleep at families house but that is when we are staying at families house or a friend's house even as a family. In these cases we are there to supervise that everyone has actually fallen asleep and we are there with them the whole night. I am not sure I would even do this as my kids get older and more prone to get into trouble.

I went on sleepovers regularly as a kid. From my personal experience I can say that it doesn't matter how good the family is or how good the kids are or parents. Kids at night and with a friend(s) are MUCH more likely to have ... "impaired judgement" as to what is appropriate or OK and what is not.

Lee said...

I recall having great memories of sleepovers but also awful memories of girls being mean to each other. I think that we probably will allow sleepovers but in limited doses.

What about camps, conferences or school trips? Do you anticipate allowing those as the kids are older? I feel like it's important to have a lot of practice away before college.

Anonymous said...

as a mother of a child that has been sexually abused by a "member" of a prominent family of the church... i would never allow my child to sleepover at anyones house. mind you my child had never slept over at this family's house but the abuser was still able to find ample opportunity to abuse my baby...

the sleepover talk was awesome. it is our responsiblity as parents to insure that they are safe and that they are not being subject to topics and situations they do not need to be subject to. whether the family is a member or not.

Jonathan Waite said...

you all need a man to comment here. I can attest that boys get in LOTS of trouble on sleepovers. Nothing hugely terrible or life altering for me but my parents had NO clue...

Grandma Honey said...

I agree with the Mom who said if she had to do it all over again she would not allow sleepovers. I feel the same way! My sons are all grown now but I never felt good about sleepovers, but felt I had to let them go since it was "a part of childhood" and that I was being too overprotective. Now I see it differently. Hurray for Elder Lawrence!

Stephanie said...

We have always had a NO sleep over rule at our house as well, family only. We made this decision long ago, when our oldest was young so they don't know any different and because of that it has been easy to enforce. I just know of too many who have had tragic things happen on sleep overs... let alone the DUMB things which go on as well!

It's not about the family being good people, or members or not etc. There are just too many factors to account for. Who else will be sleeping over at the house? How closely will they be supervised on the computer, on the television and with the movies they watch? Just to name a few of my concerns.

I too had to reconcile this decision with my own great childhood memories of sleepovers with friends. In the end, I felt I had to make my decision based on what I felt inspired to do as a parent, not on what my experiences were as a child.

Thanks for the recap Steph. Jason and I just got back from Hawaii. I have conference recorded and we'll be watching it throughout the week... you have made me more anxious to watch it!

Alisha said...

While I was growing up, sleep overs were the times in which I was the biggest rebel. FYI: all my friends and their families were members of the church and it doesn't matter. As soon as I had children I knew that I would never allow sleep overs based on my own experience.

Taylors said...

I love your blog, and even thought I saw you once... I thought about going over to say "hi" since I feel we are friends from following you but then was sure you would think I was a bit crazy since you don't know me :)

Love the sleep over talk too. I loved Lawernce's whole talk! People are always saying the are worried about offending their children or pushing gospel standards on them... I always thought it was crazy to hear this, yes my oldest is five so I have no idea what it is like to have a teenager but plan on being firm and teaching gospel standards. I loved how he talked about if a train were coming towards your child... would you worry about offending? ummm nope and the world we live in is a train.
I also loved President Packer and Elder Hollands' talks!
Conference always goes by too fast for me.

Allison said...

Hi Stephanie, I've read your blog on and off for a while now and just wanted to say hi and thank you for your wonderful writing! The sleepover talk kind of made me sad. Growing up there was one girl in my close group of friends who was never allowed to sleep over, and I always thought it was odd (especially because her family is a lot more liberal in a lot of areas than the rest of ours were...) At first I actually brushed the talk aside- I have such wonderful memories of sleepovers growing up- but after reading your comments, I definitely understand how they can turn bad so quickly. I think I was just lucky to have really good, uplifting friends, but for those who may just be "moderately trustworthy", I suppose it's true- what better time or place for Satan's influence to take over than at a sleepover? It still makes me sad because I actually became much closer with some of my girlfriends and had some really wonderful discussions late at night with them that have affected me tremendously. But, like someone else mentioned, girls can be mean too, and I also came home from more than one slumber party with my feelings pretty hurt as a kid. I'm not married yet and I don't know what I'll do- but I think I'm a lot more open to the "no sleepovers" rule now after reading this discussion, or at least to place major limitations on when it will or will not be allowed.