Saturday, January 30, 2010

Yelling Update

So we are one week into my effort to not yell. I thought I ought to account for my progress. I am happy to say I have done very well. This week I have only come close to yelling twice. Both times as I felt my frustration reach the yelling point I recognized it and took a deep breath. Then I said to the kid who had been ignoring me, "Listen, I am trying really hard not to yell remember? Could you please help me out by being obedient and doing what I have now asked you 5 times to do?"

Then the kid has done whatever I asked and the frustration diffused. I have enjoyed reading the comments on tips to not yell. I think the one about getting on eye level and talking to the kid eye to eye is really good. Sometimes some of those are really hard to do when you have a baby nursing or are in the middle of a diaper change. But I saw that is what Michelle Dugger does to get her little ones to mind. I figure if she can do it with 19 kids or however many she has now, I can do it with the 4 in my home.

Well we will see how week 2 goes. Music has also been a really big help to bring a sweet spirit in our home. I love the power of music. Jon bought a new guitar today. I am excited to be serenaded to every night now. Right honey? My favorites that he sings to me are "the Luckiest" and "Tracks of my Tears." 

We are approaching Valentines day quickly here. One year Jon learned "the Luckiest" on the piano and surprised me by singing it to me. I loved it. What is one of your best Valentines day moments with your honey. I am looking for inspiration.


Angie Larkin said...

So take a gooooood loooook at my'll see the smile looks out of place...Love that one. It was
Adam Lambert singing it on American Idol last year that introduced me to that song. Even my mom who remembers the Smoky version said he did a great job.

Good work on your new yelling policy!:)

Kelly said...

Way to go, Stephanie! Great job on not yelling. Sad to say, I have not done as great. Trying to do better, but not great. :) I like the eye-to-eye level approach, too. My mother-in-law always uses that with my kids and it works with them/her. The thing my husband does is to get REAL monotone and quiet. It's like the "anti-yell". Ha Ha! Works for him. One thing he always tells me (which I hate) but I noticed you wrote about it, is that it should never get to "I've told them or asked them 3,4,5 times." It should only be ONCE. I hate it when he says that because it never works, but he's right. Oh well, keep plugging!! :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Stephanie - I always sing to my 2 Valentines (my husband and son) and my voice leaves much to be desired. I learned this song in elementary school: 8 little letters make 3 little words. Cooed by the doves and song by the birds. Sweetest of all the words I know-they're simple too - can you learn them? The first word is "I" and last word is "You" - "Love" just links the 2. ILOVEYOU spells I Love You!
Your Texas friend - Kim L.

Amanda said...

Wow, you are doing incredible! I've been feeling like a terrible mother, I have no patience these days and have been yelling at my children, it seems like everytime I turn around.

In my defense, I've been having a really difficult pregnancy and am just coming out of a depression...I'm hoping that in a few months I can start working on my patience again and not feel like such an awful person.

Familia Martinez said...

Anthony and I love that song..."The Luckiest." It is our song I guess you could say. He introduced it to me right before our wedding and I fell in love with it. We really do feel like we are the luckiest people in the world to have found one another and I am sure that you and Jon feel the same. We love you guys. Think of you always. Hope all is well and that we will be able to catch up some day soon.

Jennifer Vincent said...

"The Luckiest" is "our song" for me & my husband...we even have "The Luckiest" inscribed inside our wedding rings. For Valentine's Day this year, I'm having a wooden sign created for him as a gift, that has "The Luckiest" painted on it. It always helps to remember how lucky I am to have found him!

Sunny said...

My best Valentines day moment was when my kids were still going to bed at 6:00 pm. I made them a quick dinner while my husband and I snacked. He put the kids to sleep while I made us a 5 course meal with sorbet and everything. It was delicious and we had some great conversation, without the kiddos. Now every Valentines I make my husbands favorite dinner. Not as fancy, but he likes it.

Last year I wrote down reasons why I loved my husband and put them in Hershey's kisses. He ate one a day and they lasted for quite a while. When he started getting low he said he wanted to save them for when he was having a hard day.

Anonymous said...

Our family always does an, "I love you" breakfast. Always strawberry waffles with whip cream. decorations for valentines, the good dishes, name tags and a little valentine gift for each person. We have 11:30 church this year so I'm glad we will be able to take our time, I hope my hubby doesn't have meetings, just thought of that. Anyway it is a family tradition we do every year!