Saturday, December 20, 2008

Retail Therapy

Yesterday I decided I needed a little retail therapy to get me excited about having a boy. I figured if I could find some boy things I loved to start making a "boy" space in our home, my heart would get the spirit and follow suit.

So after a trip with my mom to Target, I reconfigured our crib to be a boy crib. This was the result.
We painted the nursery light blue when we moved here a year ago just in case we ever did have a boy. So I am adding dark brown to the decor to make it more masculine. I really liked this bedding at Target and it is hard to beat Target prices. 

I must admit it was pretty sad to have to pass up the REALLY cute little ladybug bedding they had at Target. Lauren was pretty sad to be getting blue and brown dots rather than cute little ladybugs. But I think she is coming around at her own pace. I promised her that if peanut was a boy she could have a girl baby doll. Now when I ask if she is excited about having a baby brother she says, "No. I am excited to get a girl baby doll." It is a step in the right direction right?

For me, however, the retail therapy did wonders. I am really getting excited about imagining our family with a brother. It is funny how transforming the nursery and making him a space in our home has made such a space for him in my heart.

Some may wonder if it was hard for me to make such changes to Camille's crib and her room. I asked my family while we were in the hospital with Camille to remove all baby things from my house. I just didn't want to run across whole milk in the fridge and break down. For me this was just easier. So I didn't have to remove Camille's things to make this change. Those things are boxed up at my parents. I will go through them in the Spring I suppose.

Also, seeing as Camille was our fourth child and I am cheap, she didn't have much that was HERS. Her crib is THE crib. All our babies have used it and I don't associate it with Camille specifically. The same is true of the car seat, the stroller, the high chair etc... The only things uniquely hers were a few blankets, toys, and some clothes. So making these changes has not been too emotional. Some changes are good and changes to prepare for a new baby are always good in my book.


Rebecca said...

Congratulations...I am so excited for you to have a boy! I have 2 boys and a girl...and even though the boys came first, they are still momma boys and I love that!!! They are so much more active than my daughter...but I enjoy every minute of their craziness!!!! Enjoy being able to buy is so much fun!

Jennie said...

I love the bedding. My son has blue and brown dots in his room, too. I *love* it. It is so calming to me. :) Lauren will get used to her baby brother and love and want to protect him. My daughter has wanted a sister for each of her three brothers. She has never been happy about it, but once they are here, she loves them so much! I am glad that setting up your boy room wasn't too emotional for you. I wondered how that would be. I'm glad that you seem to be doing well.

MaiTy said...

I just wanted to let you know that a friend directed me to your blog after a close cousin of mine lost a 15 months old to SIDS. My husband and I are just about to start a family and the event really freaked me out. The more I read your blog, the more I think it would be just perfect for her to read. This post in particular. She lost her baby 2 weeks ago, and she is 6 months pregnant. I am also getting more and more excited about starting our family, and less and less worried about everything that could possibly happen. Thank you for your strength and wonderful insights.

Liz's Blog said...

Congrats Stephanie on having a Boy!!!! I am so happy for you and your family! It was great to see you yesterday. I should have read your post before I came by and I would have brought something for baby boy...I guess another time!
YEAH!!!! Boys are so much fun!
Anytime you want to practice...give me a can have Jacob for a couple of hours to play with Lauren =)

Marcee said...

Having a boy will open up so many new doors and holds so many new adventures in your life... I only had sisters growing up and am now the mother of 4 of God's amazing future missionaries... what a blessing and a privilage to raise up young men unto the Lord and have them follow in their fathers footsteps. Your home will now have more priesthood power... and who doesn't want that!!

Boys really are FUN and their things really are CUTE too. You need to check out and get him his first black 5 piece suit!! So adorable! And ties... to match daddy... come on! Oh how I love little boys!!!

Karisa Lynn said...

Hi. I don't know you but I stumbled on your blog while "blog stalking" the other night. From one friends page...and just clicking there after, I wanted to see your snow pictures (and you have the same last name as one of my best friends and are probably related somehow)...little did I know that I would spend hours upon hours reading your blog (not hands were freezing from lack of movement as I sat and read).

I know you hear this all the time as you have so many readers but I am truly inspired for the woman and mother you are. I went back to your very first blog b/c I wanted to read and get a grasp for everything that you've gone through before and after Camille's death. I admit, when I first read of the tragedy, I was angry. I felt as if it could have been prevented, which is how I feel about all drownings. I don't really view them as accidents. Of course, anything can happen in a split second and everything happens for a reason.

Through more reading, my feelings changed. I thought of a tragedy happening to one of my best friends. I know 100% in my heart that I would never fault them as bad mothers if, God forbid, something ever happened. You aren't a bad mom who neglects her children. You can tell from the blog that you adore your children. How you cope is beyond me. I never met Camille, yet I cannot get her beautiful face out of my mind. I thought about her the entire night and for the last few days. How does a sweet, little girl who I've never even met touch my heart and life in such a way? I don't understand it but she has. I told my co-workers about your blog and I've been so emotional because of it. So yes, how you cope, I don't know but you're doing a darn good job of it. I don't have children and the only person I've lost close to me is my grandmother (she died in a car accident when a man ran a red light and plowed into her car). I was completely lost b/c it was sudden but I felt that she had lived a fulfilling life and I couldn't be angry. Yet again, everything happens for a reason.

I felt the need to write (although I'm not sure why) but so be it. Your spirituality makes me want to be a better person. I know my faults and I know how much I can change & grow as a person; when I read your blog, I get this warmth over me that tells me to be a better person, a more caring person, not so judgmental and even more loving then I already am.

I've saved your blog to my favorites (hope you don't mind) and will continue to read of the new little life you are bringing into this world. Congratulations to you and your family.

Thank you for being an inspiration. Thank you for being so strong and for helping others find their inner strength.

God Bless you and your loved ones.

Anonymous said...

I am a frequent reader, although I have not commented until now. I am amazed at your strength and commitment to your family, especially during the heartbreaking tragedy of losing your Camille. I don't know your family, but find myself thinking of yours and praying for you often.
I am a HUGE fan of retail therapy! I have found that it can do wonders for the soul. Congrats on the baby boy. They bring such an interesting dynamic to a house full of girls! ( I have 3 girls & 1 boy)

Lisa & David said...

I love the bedding - it's very cute! Retail therapy is always fun, but especially when it involves a new baby. I'm sure Lauren will grow to love him once she gets to meet him - they'll be great friends.

Nannette said...

Congrats on having a boy. I understand the conflicting feelings about having a boy...but my last baby taught me that boys are WAY sweet. I really wanted another girl, but ever since I found out he was a he I have been so happy about it. Now I have him, he is just sweet in a way that my daughter never was. So I am excited for you to experince that. Plus the cars, trucks, tractors and all the other BOY things! Cute bedding too!

Bingham Bunch said...

I'm very excited for you....boys are a whole new adventure. Okay, so new baby is a whole new adventure anyway. It is fun to get to shake up which clothing racks you get to shop from. I love the decor for the room--he will definitely be the little manly man. Also.....that snow in Vegas is UNREAL! Argh! I wouldn't survive that kind of cold. Y'all are brave....:o).

Darleen said...

Stephanie, I'm SO crazy excited that you are having a boy!! You will love it--I promise. You will love all their stinkiness too. I'm glad you went out and bought some boy things. Now we just need to throw a big 'ol shower for you so you can really get hit with the reality. But it's so wonderful! I'm glad Jackson will have a little boy cousin to play with.

kathryn_m said...

Our first child was a girl.

Our second child was a boy. When I told my daughter she had a brother, she said: "Oh, I wanted a sister."

Our third child was a boy. When I told my daughter, she said: "Oh, I wanted a sister."

Our 4th child was a girl. When I told my daughter, she said: "Oh, I wanted a brother - I like being the only girl!"

So, ya can't please em all the time! LOL

Stephanie: I would love to knit something for l'il peanut. All I need from you is the item and color you'd like. Could be a shawl, carriage/crib cover, hat, sweater & booties -- what is your pleasure, madam?

love 'n hugs,

Marylin and Jimmy said...

CONGRATS on the BOY How exciting! Love the bedding!! I had two girls and then my boy! I grew up with 3 sisters and 1 brother who is way younger so I had no idea what I would do if I ever had a boy but when my little man arrived it was like he had been here the whole time! We share such an amazing bond, I suffered a few miscarriages before I was pregnant with him so I feel like I hold him a little longer and look at him a little more and try to revel in every moment that I can! He will be one in Jan, there is 4 years between he and my daughter just older than him and they are very sweet with each other! Anyway I am so excited for you congrats again!! Any Names yet?

Stephanie said...

Kathryn M

That is so sweet of you. We would love to have something knit by you. Since the baby will be coming in May and the weather here in May is well ... HOT. I am thinking it would be best if you made it for about a 6 month old. (With temps of over 100 I put as little on baby as I can in the summers.)

I would LOVE a sweater for the fall or winter or a hat. I love knit hats. As for colors - geez - boy colors, hmmm, that is new to think about. I love crazy bright fun colors for hats. For sweaters -- not sure - brown, red, navy - something along those lines?

You are so great. Thank you so much!

Sue said...

I love the blue and brown motif also. In fact, I gave one of my adult sons those exact colors of bedding for Christmas last year. A GREAT look.

It's also a great look in your nursery. Thanks for posting the pic. Looks like you are ready and waiting for the "peanut" to arrive! (By the way, he is looking like a lot more than a peanut these days, according to that cool ultrasound...)

The White Clan said...

In regards to your previous post... As the mother of soon to be, 4 boys, I can attest to you that they are as high energy out of the womb as they are in the womb. But unlike me, you have dealt with boys before. I myself had no brothers, so boys are a mystery to me. You will be a great mother to a boy, and I know it will bring so much excitment to Jon.
Now on to this post.... I am a true believer in retail therapy, but I like shopping for girls better. So if you ever need a personal shopper, I would be thrilled to do it for you. It is sad to say, but girl stuff is just way cuter than boys, and just way more fun.
Congratulations on the boy, they are fun, and the girls will love to mother him.
Oh yeah, I am 26 weeks and my boys still wish I was having a girl. Hopfully when he comes they will be more excited about him. So here is me hoping for you too.

Maggie May said...

very cool bedding!

Heidi said...

Very fun! :)

I thought that was interesting that you asked your family to remove Camille's belongings before you got home. I've heard of that happening, but for some reason didn't think you'd request that. I assumed that would make a mother feel the loss even more keenly, because there was nothing left to remind them of their child's presence. When I lost my pregnancy, I wanted to keep the things that reminded me of it around me for quite some time before I felt ready to put them away.

kathryn_m said...

Heidi: You post makes a good point in that everyone handles grief very individually.

During my maternity training, we had several classes on loss -- mostly specific to miscarriage and stillbirth.

What was stressed was to allow the mother to take the lead and to respect her wishes. There is no right or wrong. Some mothers ask that the nursery be dismantled before they go home while others ask to leave things as they were.

We had mothers speak to us from both experiences. One said she could not bear the thought of seeing all the reminders while another said that putting things away in her own time was therapeutic to her. Yet another mother expressed her hurt in going home to a bare room without ever having been consulted.

Ironically, one of our instructors was pregnant at the time as she opined that she would want everything removed. Sadly, she had a placental abruption at 38 weeks and her daughter was born still. She requested that nothing at home be touched -- she wanted to do it herself.

So I guess most of us don't know what we'd do until faced with it.

happy holidays,

PS -- Stephanie -- bright colors it is!

Leslie said...

I know what you mean about the ladybug set! One of my remote employees is having a "sex unknown" baby and I just wished we knew it was a girl so I could buy that ladybug set (I was also shopping at Target). While decorating for a boy may not be as fun, etc., there are hopefully some uniquely "boy" experiences that await you even if fashion sorts of things won't tend to be some of them ... (and I won't insert an evil laugh here! LOL!). --> One day you will remember this and thank the heavens your little boy could care less about fashion as he will likely accept whatever clothes you lay out for him each day. :-)

Leslie said...

Heidi: You post makes a good point in that everyone handles grief very individually.That is so true and a good reminder. My granddaughter was lost just prior to her birth 6 years ago last month and even though we've lived in 2 different houses since then, a 2-pack of pink sleepers still hangs in my closet. I don't think anyone except my husband even knows I have them there and he's been very respectful of moving them from house to house and giving their place in our new closets. In this case, the sleepers represented what was to be that never was and is kind of "all I have". I can see the flip side where some reminders are too much and there are other ways to remember.

Becky said...

Hooray! Their is something special about setting up the space for a baby. You will see how fun a boy can be. They are so special!

Lindsey V said...

There is just something about little boys. I LOVE my little guy! He will be 6 in a week. I have 2 girls too so he is my special only boy.

I love your brown and blue bedding! I think boy colors are so fun. My son's walls are sage green and I love seeing the color so much it makes me want to paint other rooms in my house that color too! I never would have known that if I didn't have a boy. :)

JessiekSJ said...

I was Sabrina's priamry teacher last summer. In July Ann Marie came to my class to be with Sabrina, and volunteered to say the prayer. She prayed you guys would have a brother :).

chanel said...

I feel like I know so much how you're feeling about coming around to thinking boy & brother, and that is why when I saw we bought the same boy bedding I had to comemnt again. Setting up that space for him does make a huge difference and helps get your mind/heart prepared. I have about 5 weeks to go and I am more excited that ever to meet this little guy, but it has taken me these past 15 weeks to get there.
ANyway, nice job and great choices.

Melanie said...

All I have to say is Boys Rock!