Thursday, October 9, 2008


There has been much ado in current events with regards to debt. I have a few thoughts on the subject that have been in my mind the last few days.
I am debt phobic. I think it is the inherent cheap side of me that just cannot stand to pay interest. I feel like it is paying for nothing. I like to get the best deal I can on things. Somehow I would rather wait and save $10,000 to buy something rather than have it now and pay $15,000 over the next 10 years. To me that seems like a waste of $5,000.
Now, I understand that somethings can't practically be saved for in advance and so we must sometimes go into debt. Houses are like that. Education can be like that. And certain other major and often unexpected expenses also fall into this category. I have had Home and Education debt, but even then, I feel the weight of the debt on me and work hard to pay it off as quickly as possible. I guess you could say I am hyper aware of what I owe. I am far more comfortable as a creditor than a debtor.
Some debts, however, you can never repay. My debt to my parents is one of these. How can you ever repay your mother for the sacrifices she made to bring you into the world let alone all the time and energy raising you? My mother says these are they type of debts you don't try to pay back. They are the type you pay forward.
The debt that has most been on my mind lately is that which I owe to the Lord. Really, think about it for a minute. What am I of my own accord? A bit of conscious intelligence perhaps? And what do I owe the Lord? Let's start basic on this list here. He gave me life and a body. I could stop there and have a debt greater than I could pay.
I was born in America. Anyone who has travelled much outside the US, especially to third world countries, knows what a blessing it is to be born in America. Even the poorest of poor here have life better than so many millions in Africa and other places.
Beyond that I was born into a loving nuclear family where I was taught correct principles and guided smoothly through my youth and adolescence. Along the way, the Lord blessed me with a testimony and incredible spiritual experiences that taught me of His love for me.
If the rest of my life were all trials and misfortune, I would still be in debt to the Lord. But in the years since leaving the home of my youth, my blessings have only been amplified. Even the trials have brought blessings with them. Even this most dear price of my sweet little girl, is but a drop of repayment of ocean of debt I have amassed to the Lord. And even now He showers me in His love and peace and by the ministry of angels.
Add to this the sacrifice of His son and the suffering of the Savior on my behalf. This blessing breaks the bank. It is the great and final trump that surpasses all other blessings. Without it, I am lost and damned. With it, I have the potential to be like my Savior. Yes, in this, he has bought whatever was mine of myself.
I am hyper aware of what I owe. And yes, some debts you never can pay back. Some debts you can only try to pay forward.


RhondaLue said...

Beautiful post! Debt has been on all of our minds lately and the fear of losing what we don't own outright.

I appreciate you giving us a different perspective...a more important one on this issue.

You really are an example to so many.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the reminder! You words are amazing!

Chad Heinrich said...

Thanks Stephanie for another wonderful post. Chad and I think of you and yours continually, and I always stop by each day for my "scoop" of inspiration.
Would you mind emailing us your current contact info? atheinrich at hotmail dot com
Amber Heinrich

Kathryn said...

I have always tried my best to "pay it forward" even before the phrase become popularized with the movie.

There is a great inner peace & satisfaction in giving and doing for others.

In most things, 'tis surely is more blessed to give than receive.

Becca said...

I love the juxtaposition of the economic situation with our relationship with God. So, so true.

Michele said...

Beautifully done. Your words are helping me in my quest to refocus on my blessings and positive and uplifting things. Like Elder Henry B. Eyring has said, everything depends on the decisions we make while in the midst of the storms. Thanks for removing a brick from my load. I'll pray for you tonight, that you may receive tender mercies for the burdens of others you are helping to lighten.
Love, Michele Wilcut

Rich's said...

Wow you are amazing. I pray that I will get to this point. Thank you!

Sue said...

Another inspirational post...and timely, too. Thanks.

Jennie said...

Thank you for your words Stephanie. What a great reminder. I was brought to tears once again, by your beautiful words and your testimony. Especially the part about the loss of your baby girl, being a drop in the bucket, in regards to repayment of the Lord. What an inspiration you are to me, and your insight is right on target. Thank you.

Jill said...

I came across your blog through another and I am uplifted each time I read. Thank you for sharing your pure testimony of the Savior and the love you feel. I think of you and pray for your family even though we don't know eachother. Your inpiration and love touches so many of us. You are a light upon a hill. Thank you again for sharing so openly. I have learned great lessons from you.

Tolman Family said...

You are an amazing woman. We need to clone you. LOL! Thank you for sharing your testimony with me...beautifully said. :)

Anonymous said...

I have never given a comment but I thought with the amount of people who read your blog maybe I could get some news out through you. Yes I'm using you for some important information that we are facing here in California, Prop 8. We need a YES vote to save the definition of marriage to be between a male and female. I want to save traditional marriage. Please check with all your family and friends to make sure they are registered by Oct. 20th then please vote YES on Prop.8.

Through the Storm said...

The way finances are right now, I think everyone is on edge about dealing with money. You remind me that it isn't only bills that are due but praise to the Lord for what he has given us.

Thanks so much for giving me the reminder that I needed.

The Ben Dance Fam said...

You don't know me, but I came across your blog a month or so and have been getting my "daily scoop" ever since. You are a wonderful, devoted, inspired, disciple of Jesus Christ. I do not say this to flatter you. I say this because so many times you have posted something that has touched my spirit and changed my day. Thank you. I would like your permission to share this post with the young women in my ward. Would that be okay with you? Thank you for having the courage to post the very intimate details of your life, and obviously your inspired thinking.