Wednesday, September 3, 2008

My Answer

I have been pondering my own question from the previous post. How would my "secret journal" to the Lord be different from my prayers? As many of you have noted, the Lord knows all my thoughts and feelings. I don't think I would be writing those in my secret journal to Him.

No, I think my secret journal would be full of questions. I usually don't ask the Lord lots of questions. I never have asked "why" of the Lord during this trial. I think I avoid questions because I feel uncertain about getting answers. I just think that the Lord only tells us answers we really need. The rest He expects us to take on faith. 

But pondering this self posed question has made me rethink my position. I have learned so much through the subtle whisperings of the Spirit these past couple of months. I have learned things I didn't NEED to know but that are comforting and wonderful. Maybe the Lord wants to teach us things about his kingdom but is waiting for us to ask. 

Maybe if we never ask, we are missing out on treasures of great knowledge that He would like to give us. I am not saying I can just go ask what happened to the dinosaurs and get the answer. But, I think I may start asking more questions and studying the scriptures and pondering and listening for more answers. And I am going to be careful which questions I ask. I am going to ask questions that can teach me more about my Father in Heaven, my relationship to Him, and how I can progress further in my journey to Him. I think these are the kind of questions He may be waiting to answer for me.


A Farmer's Wife said...

Wow! You are so spiritual! I admire so much the way you have taken what life has given and turned it into a wonderful, strengthening way to help all of us! Thank you so much for this post!

Carolyn said...

Thanks Steph, this was good to think about. It reminded me that the times I have learned the most is the times when I'm asking the Lord what exactly do I need to learn? Or exactly do I need to work on? What blessings do I need to be asking him for? I have a bad habit of just TELLING the Lord all those things when I should probably be ASKING him! When I have been humble enough to do this, I think I've been really blessed. I'm glad you brought this topic up to consider. It's been good for me.

Court and Britt said...

WOW, your testimony is amazing. Your story is very touching. A friend of mine told me about your blog and that I should take a look at it. I have been touched by so many inspiring stories of faith through blogging, I decided to start a blog where these families that have touched so many of us can be honored and their stories sharred with others.

I would love to include a link to your blog if you don't mind. Please let me know. I completely understand if you don't want me to. You can contact me through the blog or email me at

I really feel that through these blogs we have the ability to touch so many others and to share our testimonies of the Gospel

Catherine Noorda said...

that is really truly inspiring. something that i'm going to start doing as well.

love you!

Tigersue said...

Hello, I am Tigersue, and I run Calling all LDS women Bloggers blog roll. A reader suggested that I add your site to the list. Would you mind if I do?
I will be adding it, and if you don't want it there, I will remove it.
Thanks you.

Lane family said...

I have just read your blog for the first time. My son is a few weeks younger than your sweet Camille. I am going to hug him a little tighter, and a little more. I am going to think of your story before I reprimand my children... trying harder to remember what absolute gifts they are. Although I've never met you- Camille has touched my life... and changed me a little. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

YOu are mazing!! I think that is the best way to speak and ask the lord things, to get to know him better. How great is that. I hope I can do that. Learning is the best way right now. Thanks for sharing.

Chelsea said...

i like the idea of secret journals with your kids and especially the application to prayer. i try to picture my prayers as a phone call or a sit-down meeting to help me focus and make it meaningful.

it seems that in the scriptures, revelation always comes when the prophet is pondering and wondering. "i was pondering this verse of that chapter of this book when an angel came..."

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm... now I am pondering the same question. Thank you for sharing Stephanie. This is a good one as I continue Part 2 of the day. I am so glad the Lord is so near to me and using your writing in my life.

Bye for now!


Anonymous said...

"I think I avoid questions because I feel uncertain about getting answers."

I am often the same way. Sometimes I'm afraid of getting the answer. I shouldn't be, but I am.

I like your resolution to ask more questions.

Shell in your Pocket said...

I saw you on another Blog roll and decided to stop by! I love your title with the ice cream cute and creative!

This past summer, we had a decision to make and I just kept praying for an was like every door was open...I needed doors to close to make the decision! The Lord give guidance and direction sometimes when you think it may be over or too late!

-Sandy Toes

Peggy said...

I just wanted to thank you for sharing your story. It has affected me very deeply. Thank you, thank you, and heaven bless you.

Anonymous said...

Hello, Stephanie.

I, like many others, have been following your "daily scoops." I guess you would call me a blog stalker.

I found this post very interesting. I think too many of us do not want to ask--for anything, of anyone. I think our society has taught us to believe that this is wrong; that we are imposing somehow. I can understand feeling that the Lord would tell us what we need to know when we need to know it. I can also understand feeling like maybe we shouldn't ask him; or perhaps minimizing our own needs or wants so much that we feel we shouldn't ask. After all, the Lord knows what we need without our asking. If we really need it, He will give it to us. Yes?

But think of your own children. What parent doesn't sometimes know what their child wants? (Especially a little child.) We would be happy to give our children anything they need, and a lot of things they just want. We can often anticipate their needs and wants. But sometimes you just wait for them to ask you for it. Asking is key. How many times do the scriptures tell us to ask? A lot!

I do believe that He is waiting for us to ask, as you said. Thank you for sharing that inside with all of us.

The Pea said...

I just finished reading through all of your posts, every singe one, Needless to say I am a little sleep deprived and my head is swimming with a ton of points to ponder.

First off I want to thank you, thank you for putting all of your emotions out there for us to share. That is probably the most selfless thing you can do right now. As it heals you, you heal all of us who look to you.

Second Camille has truly changed my family, I am expecting my 4th child in November and have been feeling so overwhelmed by it. I have found myself being dragged down with doubt, not knowing how to overcome. Camille has entered my thoughts and I hope through coming here every day to share with you I can keep up the work of being the mother worthy of these beautiful children.
Thank you for allowing your Savior and mine to make your story a strength for me. A truth I know for sure is that you could have shut down and instead you chose to be an instrument to your Father above. And if we never meet on earth I will be looking for you beyond the veil.

Jonathan Waite said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vonney said...

I just want you to know that your blog is so inspiring to me! I want to try this secret journal with my children.

I am a single mother of two children. I was raised in an LDS family. My oldest turns 8 this month. Our ward doesn't do a stake baptism. They leave the whole baptism planning up to the parents. In my case thats just ME. I am not that active so it is hard.

When I turned 18 I stopped going to church. I am now 42. I started going back when my son was 4 (just 4 years ago). I go for my children.

I cannot get my son baptised on the day the church has blocked out for me because I will not be in town. Trying to get it moved has been a joke. I have gotton so much push-back from the bishop and the primary president because I am trying to change it.

Today I almost was going to cancel the whole thing. I think if the church wants him baptized, let them do all the work!

It is not easy when I do not have a presthood holder in my house and I have to strugle to do everything myself!

Anyhow, I want to you know that when I am feeling sad I come to your blog and it means so much to read what you say. Thanks for sharing your stories with me!