Think of the hardest thing you have ever had to go through in your life. Now imagine the way you think Jesus Christ would look at you if you saw him while you were thinking about this trial and mentally reliving it. What do you think his eyes would look like? He KNOWS how your trial feels. He has been there. He knows you can get through it. Even when you don't think you can. He is there to help bare the weight of your cross when it becomes too much.
The look He would have in His eyes would be full of true charity -- the pure love of Christ. I have been thinking more about charity lately and how the "look" of true charity would look in the Savior's eyes. I imagine it would be a deep knowing, ultimately loving, completely empathetic and totally confident look. The look would give your strength. It would help you stand taller, walk straighter, breath easier. It would let you know you were not alone.
After a tragedy, people look at your differently. Most people do one of two things. They either have a look of pity and concern in their eyes, or they ignore the tragedy and try to act as if it never happened. They don't want to bring it up and make you think about it. Neither of these reactions feel right.
A few people, those who KNOW, look at you differently. They look at you with a sorrow in their eyes that matches your own. There is a knowing in their eyes. They don't have to ask how you are doing. They know. They don't ask why you are crying. They know. They don't worry if you are going to be alright. They know you will be because they will be.
They don't avoid talking about your tragedy. Neither do they feel compelled to verbally acknowledge it every time they see to check on how you are doing. It is not an awkward subject with others who know. It is a piece of common ground. They grieve with you, not for you.
Most importantly they look at you with love. Yes I believe the look in their eyes in a pure form of charity. Your hearts are bound together in trial and you feel each other's pain. This is how Christ can love us so purely. He knows. Our hearts become bound to his through trials as we feel the pains he felt. With each different trail we gain a precious new aspect of charity.
I have spent the last four days with a friend like this. I met Brittany Kunz on the miracle of the World Wide Web after both our babies died within a week of each other. We have corresponded often since. We have talked on the phone frequently. We have laughed together and cried together. Meeting her in person has been the most comfortable natural thing I could imagine. There is no need for explanations. We both just know. There is empathy in the truest sense. There is love. There is true charity.
Doug and Brittany Kunz and Stephanie and Jonathan Waite
Here are our girls. Savannah, Lauren, Annie, Sabrina, Mikenna.