Saturday, July 19, 2008

A Response to Vera

The last comment I read was from "Vera" somewhere in Europe.  I will quote her comment here.

"I haven't commented before, because I never really knew how to find words that might comfort you. I don't have kids, but as a sister I can imagine the pain your kids are going through. I wasn't sure how you might think about the fact that even people in Europe found your blog and thus hesitated to leave a comment. I used to say that I am not a very religious person, but I think reading your blog during the last couple of weeks has changed the religious aspect. Thank you :-)"

I am thrilled that people in Europe have found this blog. I know there have been visitors from Japan, Germany, England, Ecuador, Argentina, Australia, Africa and Canada. These are just the countries I have noticed. I love that so many have found this blog. Every person who comes to this blog gets to meet and get to know a bit of my daughter Camille.  She only lived just shy of 14 months on this Earth. Most of that time was spent at home and with me on errands.  

I have traveled extensively. I have met so many interesting and wonderful people from all over the world in my thirty three years on the Earth. Had Camille lived a long full life. She too would have been well traveled. It is a priority of mine and my husband's to see the world and know its peoples. I feel as if this blog allows Camille to meet all the people she could have met in a long full life.

As for knowing the words to comfort me -- you gave me the greatest comfort words can give by telling me this blog has increased your faith. I hope that my writing and Camille's sweet loving spirit that comes through to all who read will increase all of our faith in God. Whatever religion you are, I hope you will feel closer to the Almighty Creator. 

I believe Camille is helping people get whatever message they need most from these writings. For some it is to cherish their children even more. For others it is to find out more about life before birth and after death. For some it is to help them let go of pain, regret, and grudges. For all, I believe Camille wants you to feel the love the Lord has for you and for your children. She and I both want to turn your heart in any measure possible closer to Him. 

I hope many all over the world will read this blog and that Camille will help them find the inspiration they need and are ready to receive. 


Anonymous said...

Stephanie, I concur. It is the ultimate joy to know your blog has given someone something with eternal value. I am constantly amazed at how the Lord uses our pain and grief for His Good Will.

Camille has such an important role in this. Her "testimony" is touching people across the world quite literally.

As a Mom, we couldn't ask for anything more than this! To see our babes impact others for a lifetime!


Sending blessings, hope, and friendship,

noorda notebook said...

vera -

i'm so glad you found stephanie's blog about camille. i too believe in life after death and i am so grateful for that knowledge. i know that if you turn your life over to the Lord you will gain more peace and hope about this life and life after death.

steph -

thanks again for sharing your testimony and your thoughts with so many. your blog strengthens and uplifts me and obviously it's doing the same for people all over the world. thanks for blessing our lives with your openness.

we love you.

the noordas

Neal & Shannon said...

I too am one of hundreds of people affected by your blog. I read it daily and your faith and courage through such a deep trial has helped me get through my own suffering. One of my younger sisters died on May 26th at the age of 33. Thank you for helping me through such a difficult time by sharing your story about sweet Camille. I admire you more than I can say. I cannot express or thank you enough for the strength you have given me. I am so sorry for your loss.

Jordan, Annie, Allie & London said...

You are so amazing! Your faith in Heavenly Father has made my faith grow! Camille is beautiful and I can only imagine the amazing things she is doing. I found your blog just yesterday and after the first few posts after Camille's death I had to stop and go hug and kiss my own 2 little girls, your blog has made me look at life in a totally new way.

After reading one of your posts I decided it was time to go check on my 2 year old, I fould that she had colored all over the counter with green marker I typically would have been pretty upset but I couldn't get mad at her because I realized life is too short to spend it yelling at my innocent 2 year old.

You are an inspiration to me, Thank You!

Adair said...

I have been so incredibly touched and in awe at your intense faith in our Savior Jesus Christ and in his ability to heal and to comfort. My biggest fear has always been to lose a child. I think about it constantly and wish that I wouldn't. Your words bring comfort and assurance that the Lord carries us when we need help and that through difficult times, we can increase our faith and understanding of Him. Thank you for so much for your sweet words.

Anonymous said...

I commented once before to Thank you for sharing with the world your thoughts and feelings. However now I too would like to Thank you for leading me and my family back to the Lord. We moved to Las Vegas a year ago and had yet to take the time to find a new church (we are not LDS). This was until I found your Blog. You and your little Angel Camille inspired me to find a church 3 weeks ago. I have since felt a new sense of strength and wholeness. I look at my three children and our life as a family in a whole new light. Thank you and your family for this and for being Camille's Angel on Earth.
God Bless and Be Whole
Angela Brandon

Let Your Hair Down said...

I think about Camille every single day. Its amazing what she has done for so many people thus far. Her life on earth my have been short, but her purpose will be anything but. I do belong to your faith, but I believe my faith is increasing every day. Thank you so much for sharing your story... your words... your Camille with all of us. What an angle she is!

Sommer said...

Well, if people as far away as Europe can comment, than I certainly can too! I read your blog almost everyday. We've never met, but I always want to know if you are doing ok. Thank you for being so willing to share your feelings with us.

(Byron Christoffersen's wife)

MaryClaire said...

it is amazing and so awesome that you and camille are affecting people the way you are. she truly is serving such an awesome mission. she's doing more missionary work than i or anyone else was able to accomplish on a full-time mission. i love it!

Bartel's said...

I've been reading your daily blogs for the past few weeks. Like Vera, I have not known the words to say. Afterall, I'm just one of those "blog stalkers" out there, & how could a stranger possibly make you feel better...right? Well, I hope I do. I am not even Mormon, however; I am in complete awe of how grounded you are in your faith. I came across your blog from my sister-in-laws good friends blog, who just lost their 1 yr old. (he was found in the crib with the blinds around his neck) I read both of your blogs daily & I am so inspired.I am due to give birth anyday now, & always believed that babies come to us from heaven.It may sound crazy, but I actually pray to your sweet Camille & Daxton (the little boy who also passed) to safely bring our newborn into this world. I like to think they are helping take care of this new soul before he makes his way to us. Like I stated, it may sound crazy, but I just wanted you to know that by your writings of Camille, life & faith, you have touched so many so deeply.I have prayed more, & I hug & kiss my kids up more (actually more than ever). Thank you for sharing yourself & your family with us.
~Kristi from WI

Kate in Montana said...

Hi Stephanie- My name is Katie Whitney, I am a life-long friend of your sister in-law Darleen. We grew up together in Reno, I lived around the block from the Waite's. I am an only child and I used to love being over at Darleen's house around all her brothers and sisters. They are such a great family, as you know! I have become "addicted" to your blog and look forward to reading it daily. I just wanted you to know that I think about your family often, sending you love and strength through prayer all the way from the middle of Montana (that's where I live :) Camille has touched me, I love looking at the pictures you post of her, such a beautiful angel. I just wanted to let you know that I am out here and the strength that Camille has given you to write has touched so many people and helped us to deal with our own losses. My sweet dog, and best friend of 12 years died a month ago and your blog always makes me feel better when I am missing her, so THANK YOU for your strength and wisdom!
God bless you and your beautiful family, Kate

Andrea said...

I want to thank you for all of your posts. I too have just lost one of my everythings. My little Wyatt was almost 6 months old when a virus attacked his heart and he was gone within days. It helps me to know that I'm not the only one mourning. Thank you.

Gina Rochelle said...

I sit at my computer and ponder and cry as I read your posts. I tried reading part to my husband the other night and he said he didn't want ot hear about death and children, that he just didn't want to be faced with that reality. He didn't understand why I would want to. Because it helps me see that the Lord is over all things and takes care of us, because it helps me see how precious my children are, because it strengthens me as a mom and makes me want to be better, because it expresses thoughts I've had in ways that only a good writer can, because it makes me want to write about my children more in positive ways. For all these reasons and more, I read, I cry but I read and it lifts me. Thank you for your willingness to share your heart with us in ways that inspire faith and love!

kathryn_m said...

It's so fitting to see such a powerful embassador for Christ wrapped in such a small, perfect package.

I consider myself a spiritual person yet there is no doubt that my faith has been deepened through your testimony on this blog. So many issues to think about; so many things to pray about; so many questions answered; so much glory to be ours through the tender mercies of Jesus Christ.

Camille will continue to serve and bear witness to countless people throughout the nations through your blog, Stephanie.

It's breath-taking to even try to conceptualize the full impact of it.

As a mother of 4, I cannot fathon the deep pain of your missing her. It helps those who have come to love you, Jon & your girls to know that you recieve untold comfort from the positive effects your sweet babe continues to inspire in others.

okbushmans said...

I've never commented before, I didn't know if you'd be comfortable with a total stranger reading your blog in the most tragic and intimate time of your life. But I know I am not alone, and wanted to tell you thank you for being open and honest and uplifting. It has strengthened me, and my friends who directed me to your blog. Your perspective on what life throws at you has been such a great strength in our daily trials. Thank you from Sarah in Oklahoma!

kamibeck said...

This morning, my little Nathan, age 3, was asking about baby Camille. We think of and pray for your family often. Your life-changing experience continues to bless our daily life. Thanks for sharing your story with the world! Love, hugs and kisses!

julesttdmom said...

Stephanie, along the lines of this blog I must share this story. Yesterday I was talking to my sister that lives in Texas. She was talking about a service project and ideas. I mentioned your family and all that you have been through. She replied "Oh, my goodness. One of our RC teachers told us about this family in her lesson last week." We both were amazed at how quickly your sweet Camille has touched so many over the world. Some how this sweet sister found your page and then shared it with her ward to lift you up in prayer. You are always in our hearts and prayers.

merrobbins127 said...

I know you don't know me but I get the re-confirmation of my faith everyday I read your blog. I am so impressed with your perspective on life. My husband lost his father before we met. A year after he lost his father is was baptized a member of the church. My mind has gone to him as I read your blog and see how strong you are. I realize how lucky we are to have the gospel in our lives. I can't imagine how hard it was for him to lose is father, and best friend, with out the knowledge that he will see him again. I don't mean to ramble but I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for lifting me up each day I read your blog.

Merridee ( Henderson, NV )

Tiffany said...

Stephanie, I commented once before, but mostly when I read your blog I feel like Vera, that I don't "because I never really (know) how to find words that might comfort you." I always leave wishing I had commented though, simply because I wish I could tell you how much your words impact me! I am LDS as well, but my faith grows everytime I come visit your blog. Thank you, thank you for sharing yourself and your sweet Camille with us!

Tiffany Larson

s g said...

Yes, you and Camille are quite the set of missionary companions touching lives ALL through out the world. Thank you for your faith and devotion.

One thought I had today as I was preparing my lesson to give in RS tomorrow...I was flipping ahead to see what lessons were coming up- someone has probably already made you aware, but I immediately thought of you for the J. Smith lesson #14 "Words of Hope and Consolation at the time of Death" There is a pic of Joseph and Emma with their twins they lost. You could probably write an extension of this lesson :) Give it a read, if you haven't already!
Sara G.

LKHarris-Kolp said...

Please visit my blog,
and you will see,
how a beautiful cardinal,
has been appearing to me,
after the suicide of a dear friend,
I tried to help to the bitter end.

Danielle said...

We don't know each other, but Ive been silently stalking your blog for the last few days. I just want you to know what an inspiration you are to me. Your words of wisdom, love and faith are far reaching and have impacted my life for the better. I even shared with my mother who is in awe at your strength and insight.
I have two boys who were born with birth defects, and I have been struggling for the past three years, with feelings of guilt, and trying to understand what I did wrong (I was so careful) there were times that I thought maybe I was being punished or something. I've prayed and prayed about this, and little tender mercies along the way have let me know that this is part of living in an imperfect mortal world. Reading your blog has allowed me to let go of some of the guilt and pain and turn to Heavenly Father for more understanding. Thank you so very much for touching my life and for teaching me.
One of my best friends lost her 19 month old son in February; I will be refering her to your blog.

Danielle- Riverton, Utah

Rach said...

Hi Steph,

I'm sorry I've been busy this past week and haven't had time to pop in to comment. I've checked-in on you, though. :o)

Isn't it AMAZING how one little girl and the lessons learned can affect SO many? How she can be SO far-reaching? It *still* boggles my mind when I think of the readers I have from EVERYWHERE!

I hope you are finding a modicum of peace here and there.

Many many HUGS!! :o)

Anonymous said...

A friend told me about your site and I have been reading it the past couple of weeks and going back over the past month worth of posts and reading them. I don't even know you but have been in tears with your words and sweet pictures, yet inspired at the same time. I have a 14 month little girl that was born in May 07. I am amazed at your grace and strength during this time. I feel like I know you, I guess it is because we are sisters in the gospel and moms and that gives us all a bond. I don't think it was by accident that it was this week that I have been reading your blog, I had to teach the lesson in R.S. today and as you probably know the topic was Hope and Consolation at the Time of Death. I hope you don't mind but I shared your story and a few of your words with them, you write so well and the Spirit is felt through your words. I don't think you can even comprehend how many lives you have touched. I loved the comparison to you and her being missionary companions, the work you and her our doing is huge as you can probably tell by the comments and people reading from all over the world.

You and your sweet family are in our thoughts and prayers. Thank you for your inspiration and words.

Danni - Las Vegas, NV

By the way, Heather Gibb took our pictures last November, what a blessing for you to have those wonderful pictures, they are amazing - priceless!

Camille said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Camille said...

thank you. i needed this one today. you always say the things that we all need to hear. your testimony strenghtens mine, and i will forever be grateful to you and camille for that! it's amazing. you're amazing. i hope you are having a blast with e and her family. i love that girl, give her a hug for me ;)

Rachel said...


You don't know me- I wonder how many times you have read that recently? But I found your blog through my friend Cassie's blog- she lost her sweet son a couple days before you lost Camille. I just wanted to let you know what your words have done for me. I have four little children ranging from seven to one. My biggest fear is losing one of them. It causes major anxiety for me. Reading your words- especially your blog on Blame- has made me realize that even though it would be the hardest thing to endure, I could make it through. I only hope I could have your perspective. Thank you for sharing the light of the Gospel with all of us. Camille's short life is touching the hearts of people all over the world. What a fabulous legacy she has left behind. I have no doubt you will hold her in your arms once more.

Randi said...

Thank you again for your blog. Thank you for sharing Camille with me and with everyone. She's a gorgeous little girl. With her in mind, I think I will forever hug my son a little longer and a little tighter.