Camille doing her circus trick with Dado
I love to laugh. Who doesn't? I was writing to my friend Britt today, whose son Daxton is with Camille. They returned Home within a week of each other. In my email, I noted how serious I sound in my writing. I guess I am serious as opposed to silly. Jonathan is the silly one in our relationship. But I do think I am kind of funny in person. Well, at least I make myself laugh. I just haven't had so much to laugh about lately.
I am needing a good laugh or two. So this is a call for good CLEAN (G rated) jokes or funny true stories. I will start by sharing one of my all time favorites of each. First a joke:
One night I had a dream that I died and went up to heaven. I was in line to enter the pearly gates and there behind me was my good friend Bob. I got up to the front of the line and there was St. Peter waiting for me. He took me in and said, "Stephanie, you have done some good things in your life and some bad things. You can come into heaven but you will have to pay for the bad things you have done." I admitted my weaknesses to St. Peter and agreed to whatever punishment needed to be taken. Then he opened a door and in walked the ugliest most annoying guy I had ever seen. I was embarrassed even to look at him. St. Peter introduced him as Chuck. He then said the two of us were to walk arm in arm together for eternity. I cringed at the thought of my punishment. Chuck shyly walked over and took my arm in his and off we went.
A while later I saw my good friend Bob walking along. Now Bob and I had some good times in life together and I knew him pretty well. Imagine how surprised and upset I was when I saw Cindy Crawford on him arm. I headed directly for St. Peter to complain. "What is the deal?" I asked. "He was just as bad as I was and he gets Cindy Crawford?" St. Peter looked over at Bob and Cindy and put his arm around me. Then he gently whispered to me, "Don't you think that Cindy has to pay for her sins too?"
Now for a true funny story: My Grandma Harris was always a source for great funny stories. She lived to be 99 and had pretty severe dementia in those later years. The older she got, the less inhibited she became. You just never knew what crazy thing she was going to say.
One day when Jon and I were just friends I went with his family to help them do baptisms for the dead at the temple. We walked into the baptistry and there in one of the pews was my Grandma. She was about 96 at this time. I was shocked to see her and went over and gave her a hug. Then I introduced Jon and his mother Kathleen to my grandmother. My grandmother took Kathleen's hand and pulled her down to her face.
"OH NO!" I thought. "What is Grandma going to say to her?" Leave it to Grandma Harris to say some crazy thing in the Temple. Grandma had Kathleen pulled down so that she looked like she was whispering into her ear. I saw Kathleen's face get a sudden shocked look and thought, "Oh no. Now what has she gone and said?"
"What did she say?" I timidly asked my still shock faced future mother in law.
Through a polite but puzzled smile she simply replied, "She bit me!"
"GRANDMA!!!" I said quietly but with great embarrassment.
"What?" said Grandma. "I wanted to make sure she didn't forget me. Now she won't."
Yes. I am sure my mother-in- law will never forget Grandma Harris. None of who knew her and loved her will either. This story makes great fun with my nieces and nephews when I tell them the first time my grandma met their grandma my grandma bit their grandma.
Okay, your turns. Let's have a bit of laughter tonight. Things have been way too serious. I need a little of the Best Medicine. I am looking forward to some funny comments.
82 comments:
I found your blog a while ago through a friend of a friend, and since then I look at it almost daily. I tell my husband about some of the posts you write, and today he said it was "creepy" that I read your blog all the time and I don't know you. Well, I disagree because if you wanted it private, you'd have marked it that way. I find your posts inspiring and touching and look forward to them when I read my other "daily" blogs. I don't have a good joke really at all...but I do have a little 10 month old who made me laugh hysterically today when she tried mustard for the first time. There's a video on my blog if you'd like to see it....I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. But, really the things that make me laugh are the faces and silly things that babies and children do....as I'm sure you know. Their innocent humor makes me laugh so hard. Anyways, thank you for sharing your thoughts and stories with the world. I look forward to reading your blog all the time!
I laughed out loud at that grandma story, AWESOME!
I have one for you...
My granny had just had surgery for a pacemaker and difibrulator (sp) and so my mom, aunt and Poppy were staying in a hotel room near the hospital (it was in a different state than they live) and poppy got up to go to the restroom in the middle of the night and there were mirrors outside of the bathroom...so he comes out of the bathroom in his skivvies (he is this little skinny adorable man) and thinks one of the girls (his daughters) had gotten up so he kind of jumps at the mirror (thinking it's his daughter) and says "BOO" and then realized it was himself in the mirror and got completely tickled at himself and was laughing all the way to the bed...of course, my mom is a REALLY light sleeper so she heard the whole thing and was totally laughing too when he got back to his bed...it was hilarious....I laugh every time I think about it.
Loving you from Tennessee...in Him...Tamara
I can't think of any funny stories but 2 blogs I look at almost always give me at least a smile, sometimes outright laughter. They are lightrefreshmentsserved.com and emilywatts.com/blog. Enjoy.
YEAH! This is how I remember Camille, doing silly things with her daddo! Thanks for the laughs Steph! I LOVE the grandma story! You have lots of great stories about her. I've noticed that I really can't fake my laughing. If, and only if, I find something truly funny, then I can really laugh. I've never been able to fake it. You know how Aaron and Jonathan get when they are together. At home, alone with Aaron, I just don't laugh at that "silliness" as much as I can when that "silliness" is combined with his brother, Jonathan. They are so much the same and so different all at the same time. I love our Waite men! I love you too, and I've always thought you were funny.
Hi there. My name is Heidi and my friend sent me your blog when she found out I had a miscarriage last weekend. Reading your posts and comments has greatly touched me and helped me through my grief. Thank you. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself and wonderful family with us all.
-----
I can't think of any funny stories, but here are my top three favorite videos that ALWAYS get me laughing:
Adorable Baby Video
Asian Backstreet Boys
Taco Town
I hope you enjoy them! :)
Love,
Heidi
My two favorite jokes:
1) What do bees sit on?
Their bee-hinds!
2) A little boy was up in bed and yelled down at his dad to bring him up a glass of water. The dad replied, "Go to bed son, if you ask again you'll get a spanking." A few minutes later the boy yelled down, "Dad, can you bring me a glass of water-I'm thirsty!" The dad replied, "Go to bed, if you ask again, I'll come up and give you a spanking!" A third time the boy yelled down, "Dad when you come up to give me a spanking, will you bring me a glass of water."
Enjoy!
I love a funny joke or story!
I am not much of a joker-teller in person because I usually am so anxious to get it out that I screw up the punch line - a trait I inherited from my dear Nanna. (preferable to biting I would think - LOL)
On our recent trip back "home", we paid a visit to my aunt & uncle. He is 94 and enjoys amazing health with a very clear mind. He is our family "storyteller".
He began: " One day the Russelites (ETA: a religious sect I had not heard of before this "story") were visiting people in their community.
They knocked on the door of the Smith household. Mrs. Smith was well known for her over-bearing & bossy ways and the couple was often heard arguing loudly where ever they went. This day was no exception.
When Mr. Smith went to the door, the Russelites asked him if he had the Life of Christ. "The Life of Christ?" Mr. Smith said incredulously, "With a wife like mine, I don't have the life of a blooming dog!"
I hope this makes you laugh - it sure did me. LOL
Oh ... I just remembered a joke.
Q: What did the mama turkey say to the baby turkey when he was misbehaving?
A: "If you father saw you do that, he'd roll over in his gravy".
If you're groaning, blame my hubby - it's his joke! If your laughing, I'll graciously take the credit. LOL
Whoops - I guess you got me going. I just remembered a funny story.
When our son, who has Asperger's syndrome, was about 3 years old, we were visiting my Mom. Kids with Asperger's are VERY literal thinkers. My Mom had an "outhouse" fashioned from popsicle sticks on her end table that one of the other grandkids had made as a craft. My son had never seen one before and asked Mom what is was. She told him it was an outhouse that people used to pee in years ago. About 10 minutes later, Mom & I returned from the kitchen to sit & enjoy our tea when I noticed a wet spot on the carpet and drips coming from the table above. I am sure you can guess the rest!
This is a great post!
PS - great pic of Jonathon & Camille. I read the stroy you had linked to your last post. While I had never read that one before, I read a similair short story with the same basic message. It was a good reminder to me to be thankful even for the thorns.
Q: What happened to the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac?
A: He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.
I've already commented on one of your posts back in June, but can't stop reading your blog. I'm starting to feel like I know you now. Your such an inspiration to me. My husband is glad to see my face (because for the past day it's been looking at the computer screen). I need to go be a mom now, and put some kidos to bed. You'll be in my prayers tonight, and in my thoughts for a very long time. Thanks for your, AND your darling husbands example. Your doing so much good, for so many people!
I hope you don't mind if I come back to look at your blog sometime ~
Thanks again
Jamie
I can't wait to see her in the eternities." This is a thought I've only had one other time in my life about someone. That was until the other night when the very same thought came to my mind as I was reading your blog. You simply amaze me! I can't wait to see you and Camille in the eternities! Thank you!
Oh My goodness, I loved the story of your Grandma!! I just posted some funny and clean videos on my blog. They will give you a good laugh. The one on the bottom will have other video options once it is done playing. If you click the arrow at the bottom, the Tom Cruise one is great too. Hope you enjoy them. :)
http://kevinatalimckee.blogspot.com/2008/07/if-you-need-good-laugh-watch-this-video.html
I also found your blog through the recommendation of a friend. I have felt inspired by so many of your posts. I loved the experience you related about praying and coming to understand in a new way just how Heavenly Father might have felt watching His son suffer and die, and how it must hurt HF when we don't show reverence to His son. That really touched me and made me want to show greater reverence in my life and greater respect for Christ.
Through your blog I have also been inspired to become a better mother-- I had been getting pretty frustrated with my 2 year old lately and snapping at her more than I should. Then one night as I read your story of losing your lovely Camille, I realized that this "terrible two" stage is actually a precious gift of my daughter's development, one I will never get to relive. Now each morning I pray for patience and try to show my daughter greater patience and love as she learns.
Thank you so much.
I was just reminded this week of a funny thing my little girl did on the first day of preschool last year. Her super sweet teacher go out some preschool type music for the kids to sing and dance too. My then 3-year-old daughter said to her "Uhm, do you have any Hannah Montana?" I was so embarrassed when I came to pick her up. I thought what must this woman think we do in our home. I know her better now and we just laugh and laugh about it. She is 4 going on 16, but I love her to pieces.
My Grandpa was a convert to the church, and in his day he was a little bit of a drinker. One day he was telling us that he used to have his suits specially made so that the inner pocket of the jacket fit his favorite flask. That way he could always carry it with him. Then he leaned over and said "After I was baptized you know what fit perfectly in that pocket?" We said we didn't to which he replied "My Book of Mormon."
When things are stressful/out of the norm I will sometimes walk and talk in my sleep. Two years ago my oldest daughter was in the hospital for an abcess on her tonsil. I was sleeping there with her and one night I was having a dream that the nurse had come in and asked me to collect a sample of mucus from my daughter. In my dream I agreed to do it and had fallen asleep instead. So, I "woke up" with a start, thinking that I had forgotten to do what the nurse asked. I jumped out of bed and hurried out into the hall where the night nurse and her CNA were sitting. I don't think I was making any sense as I was profusely apologizing for not collecting their sample (I was still asleep.) I'm sure they thought I was on drugs. The nurse put her arm around me and gently walked me back to my daughter's room and set me back in bed. By the time I sat down I had woken up enough to realize what I had just done. I was so embarrassed (I don't even think that word is strong enough!) About an hour later my daughter's IV was bothering her so I got up to go talk to the nurse about it. When I opened the door and walked back into the hall they looked up at me with "Oh No, not again!" painted across their faces. I smiled and said, "Don't worry, I'm awake," to which they didn't even crack a smile. Yep, I'd have to say that was my most embarrassing moment EVER!
I, like many others, don't know you personally, but I just came across your blog and I had to say thank you. Your Camille is a beautiful angel and she really is helping so many people that didn't even know her in this lifetime.
I have found myself spiritually lacking for the past year. And the things I read on your blog really made me think about the importance of living the gospel fully so that no matter what happens in this life, we can be together forever. Thank you for reminding me of that. This is a new beginning for me. Thank you for sharing and I am so sorry that you have to suffer this loss.
I don't know if you're a fan of "The Office" but it is one of my families favorite shows! Check out this clip on You Tube with Jim's best pranks on Dwight!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7PHL4HXm1o&feature=related
*Sorry I don't know how to post the "hypertext" fancy schmancy stuff.
Stephanie,
Here are a some funny stories courtesy of my kids....
#1 Phillip is playing around with the big girls, and Rebecca (age 6) accidentally scratches him. He tells her to clip the straggly fingernail. She says NO. He tells her he will do it himself. She says NO! He says Do you want to bet? She says YES! They bet $50.00!! So. Phillip tells her that he is going to come in during the night and clip it while she is asleep. Rebecca and Alexes (age 5) go to bed that night and they come up with a plan.
The next morning Phillip goes in their room with the nail clippers, and Rebecca has her hand under her pillow hiding. Phillip grabs it, looks at it, and says Give me your other hand. He grabs the other hand. NO STRAGGLY NAIL.
He is confused. Rebecca cut it herself! Rebecca wins $50.00!!
SMART GIRLS!!
#2 Chris is about 5 years old and wants a "bald head haircut NOT just a buzz"
I am convinced he doesn't realize what he's asking for. So I ask him
Do you want your head to look like your bottom? Without missing a beat, he replies YES but without the crack.
#3 Lauren(age 3) is interviewed by her Joy School teacher and asked What are you good at? She
responds Shopping and lunch out.
(Mental note-sign up for the story hour at the LIBRARY!!!)
xoxoxo
Hope you got a smile out of these.
You're the best.
xoxoxo
Cynthia
I love this picture of Camille. This is what I remember about her. It might have been the only time I got to see her (other than your shower) was when she had just learned this trick at your mom's and I was over there and Jon did it with her. It was so cute!
your grandma Harris story made me laugh...again! She was a funny old lady. You have alot more funny stories steph. Remember the drive thru at the bank?
i will try to think of a funny story.
I like so many others was also told by a friend of a friend about your blog. I too have found myself being a better mom because of you and your great loss. I am taking more time to tell my kids just how much I adore them. I am trying to take in every moment, hoping I'll have so many more moments with them. I actually just posted a funny joke on my blog today. flyfishinfamily.blogspot.com Below the joke are some of the funny conversations I've had with my sweet little ones lately. Finally, just to echo so many others, "Thank You! Thank you for sharing your grief, pain, happiness, and great testimony. I want to be better because of you. I think of you often. The last two weeks at the temple you came to mind, and I just can't imagine your pain. I pray for you. I love you, you have made me a better person."
A friend of mine informed me of your loss and I just wanted to tell you I am sorry. You do not know me, but I feel like I know you through your writings and I think you are unbelievable! You have strengthened my testimony deeply and I can only hope to one day be as strong as you are. Thanks for your thoughts and loyalty and love for the gospel. I hope you have many more laughs tomorrow, and the next, and so on. You have a beautiful family.
-Jessica
Thanks for your post today. I have been feeling heavy hearted and it was a good reminder to me that I need to laugh! My sister that passed away two months ago loved the following story. She told it over and over again. I hope it makes you laugh a little.
Ever since I was a little kid, I didn't want to be me. I wanted to be
like Billy Widdleton, and Billy Widdleton didn't even like me. I
walked like he walked, and I talked like he talked, and I signed up
for the high school he signed up for.
Which was why Billy Widdleton changed. He began to hang around Herby
Vandeman, he walked like Herby Vandeman, he talked like Herby
Vandeman. He mixed me up! I began to walk like Billy Widdleton, who
was walking and talking like Herby Vandeman.
And then it dawned on me that Herby Vandeman walked and talked like
Joey Haverlin. And Joey Haverlin walked and talked like Corky
Sabinson.
So here I am walking and talking like Billy Widdleton's imitation of
Herby Vandeman's version of Joey Haverlin, trying to walk and talk
like Corky Sabinson. And who do you think Corky Sabinson is always
walking and talking like? Of all people, Dopey Wellington –is the
little pest who walks and talks like me!"
I thought of another funny story. My nephew was sitting with my niece who was drinking water and she began to cough. He, in a panic to help her, called for his mother to come and give her the HIND LICK REMOVER. She was just coughing though. We still laugh about it. I hope this one doesnt offend.
Funnies Friday, August 1, 2008
Don't Mess With Southerners
Two businessmen in New York city are sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store isn't ready - only a few shelves are set up.
One says to the other, "I bet any minute now some tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."
No sooner are the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Southerner walks to the window, has a peek, and in a Southern drawl asks, "What're y'all sellin' here?"
One of the men replies, "Oh! We're selling idiots here."
Without skipping a beat, the Southern gentleman says, "Well, I see y'all're doing really good. You only got two left!"
Received from Janet.
This is from the following site
good clean funnies
Go here when you need a laugh.
http://www.gcfl.net/index.php
What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?
(you have to say it with a roll of the neck and snap of your fingers)
NA-CHO cheese
I'm another blog lurker whom you don't know, but I am so inspired by your blog! Thank you for your faithfulness and sharing your experiences it has strengthened me greatly!
My funny happened yesterday while I was trying in vain to put my 3 yr old down for a nap. I had just finished singing him "My Heavenly Father loves me. Here's the exchange: (G is for him)
G: "So he made my eyes?"
Me:(a little teary)"Yes he made your eyes!"
G:"And my ears so I can hear airplanes?"
Me:"Yes your ears too..he made your whole body because he LOVES you!"
G: (after some thought and a pause)
"And so I can POOP!"
Me:(a little giggly)"Yes and that too!"
My daughter was in Kindergarten and just learning to read and write. Her teacher sent a sheet of homework home. It had a few short sentences that the kids were to copy. It said, "Maddie is very nice. She has a little brother. She is going to be a "Hot Girl" for Halloween." I just about died!! She wanted to be a female superhero called "Hawk Girl" not a "Hot Girl" !! I was so embarassed and explained to the teacher the next day. She just laughed and said, "Well, you never know. Some of those costumes could be considered a Hot girl". Can you imagine!! Who would let a 5 year old dress like that?
here's a good one -
my grandma kind of sounds like your grandma - in the best of ways. she lived in salt lake city and when i went to the U we saw a lot of each other. one day i was at her house for something and i made some scrambled eggs. my grandma put got some homemade chili sauce out of the fridge and insisted that it was so delicious i must try it on my eggs. i tried it and it was so good. i told her it was good and asked her where she got it. she then informed me that her mother had made it!! her mother had died 20 years previously and jarred her famous homemade chili sauce and unknown number of years before that. yeah,basically i was eating very fermented chili sauce. i probably got drunk from it.
funny, huh.
I just heard this funny, true story about a friend of a friend in California:
They took their non-verbal autistic son to Sea World. He carries a backpack with him wherever he goes. It carries information im case he gets lost.
He did indeed, get separated fror his family. They searched for two hours! Nothing. Suddenly he turns up, soaking wet!
He was unable to tell them where he had been for all that time. They made the 1 1/2 hour drive home and started the bath for him. He got very excited and ran to get his backpack. He opened it up and pulled out a baby penguin!!!
Ha Ha Ha!!! Can you imagine?!!! I mean, they are pretty cute- why not take a swim with 'em and take one home for a pet?!!!
Needless to say, they put the penguin on ice and made the drive back to Sea World!!
Stephanie,
I am Morgan Willis' daughter, Shannon. I don't know if you remember me, but your story about Grandma Harris reminded me of one I wanted to share with you. Besides the countless times I was bit by Grandma, I will never forget the following experience. One time Grandma came to stay with us for a few days. I think your parents went out of town or something. Anyhow, everyday night at about dusk, Grandma would go and get her bags and sit at the kitchen table and say, "It's time for me to go. I need to get to see Louis, so I have to go catch the train." My mom and I would try everything possible to stall, but she would have nothing of it. One time she said to me, "If you don't open that door, I'm going to break it down and climb over that wall to get out of here!" At that point we knew we were losing, so we said, "Okay, let's go." We put her in the car and thought maybe driving around would appease her until my dad got home -- which would always calm her down. So we drove around our cul de sac a few times until Grandma yelled, "Do you think I'm crazy? I know you're driving around in circles now let me out of here!" We finally convinced her to wait in a lawn chair on the driveway for Willis and he would take her to the train. I can't think about that story without smiling. I have no doubt that at 97 Grandma would have had no problem scaling a wall if she wanted to! What a great woman. I have no doubt she is watching over you now and loving your little Camille at this very moment.
Love,
Shannon
Okay so I have a funny story about my husband's grandmother. She grew up in a deep southern town in Georgia and had the thickest accent ever. She was about 95 at the time and just as spry as an 80 year old. We were in the temple for the marriage of one of the cousins. She was marrying a man from South America. Typically the brides family sits on one side and the grooms on the other. As we were waiting for the couple to come in she looked across the room and said loudly (as only a 95 year old can get away with in the temple) "Ya'll see them, they is speakin spaaanish. They musta be part of Robeeertooos family." I was so embarrassed. I was the one sitting right next to her and didn't know her very well. I tried to acknowledge her comment with out encouraging more to come out!
I loved your story because it is so similar to what we live with everyday. Just this morning Grams comes running in-"Eva your ride is here and honking." I know for a fact they aren't because I was driving carpool this week but nothing I said could prove otherwise. It made me smile to see how much she cared. Another is how she ate escargot's for lunch (they are Mike's) and when he realized she had them she replied they were chewy, garlicky and tasted ok until he let her know she had eaten snails. She wasn't a happy camper once she found out but when she is forgetful she can be pretty cute. She always sings little random songs and when I asked Mike if he wanted molasses in the cookies she sang "molasses, molasses, sitting in the ground" then looked up and said "wonder where that came from"
Okay, I love the wit of people in this life and your grandma is hilarious! I'm glad you have asked for funny...I left my own piece of sadness here previously but thank goodness when we look around there is also so much humor. This story is my favorite from one of my witty sons ;o). My younger son, Payson, started kindergarten last fall and was VERY pumped. The first months of school went very well and his teacher was very kind to always compliment his behavior and participation in class. One day, an angry, disgruntled Payson got off the bus. He stormed in the door and shouted, "MY NEW TEACHER IS A LIAR!" I was a bit taken aback by this outburst and was about to address it when the phone rang. It was the school letting me know that Payson had gotten into trouble at school on their first day of music class that day. I asked what he did and the music teacher said that each time she tried to introduce herself, Payson would call from the middle of the room, "Liar!" I was upset by the whole situation and decided I wanted to talk about it with all parties involved. A short while later we were together and I asked Payson to please explain what the deal was. This is what he said:
Payson: In music class the new music teacher got up and said, "Hi children, my name is Mrs. King." So I said, "Liar." She looked at me again and said, "My name is Mrs. King." I guess she didn't hear me so I said, "LIAR!" Everyone in the class started laughing so I said,"It's not funny! She's a liar!" Then she made me sit outside! (Crosses his arms defiantly, while furrowing eyebrows).
Mom: (after I picked up my dropped jaw) "Payson! Why would you be so disrespectful and call her a liar?"
Payson: "Because she lied about her name!"
Mom: "Sweetheart, if she says her name is Mrs. King, then her name is Mrs. King!"
Payson: "No it's not! Her name is Mrs. QUEEN! She's a girl, NOT A BOY! DUH- UH!"
Mom and Mrs.-um Queen?: Oh! (followed by some tension breaking laughter)
I learned a valuable lesson about questioning before jumping to conclusions!
~Andrea of Ft. Worth, TX
That picture of Camille makes me laugh!! ;)
Years back, myself and 2 of our preschoolers were waiting in the van while their dad ran an errand. He was taking longer than expected and the kiddies were getting restless. Every 30 seconds I'd hear: "When is daddy coming back?"
Trying to appease them somewhat, I told them that when daddy returned we would take them to Burger King for lunch.
Then every 30 seconds, I'd hear: "Mommy, I'm soooo hungry".
Trying to buy more time, I excitedly told them that Burger King had Crayola markers in their kid's meals.
"But, Mommmy," my 4 year old said with some urgency, "You don't understand. I am REALLY hungry. I want food in mine!"
Another funny story on a blog: http://biffytalk.blogspot.com/2008/07/what-was-that-again.html
I grew up going to Lake Powell on a houseboat every summer. We used to look for a long time for the perfect private cove to dock the boat for the week. That's why I love this story our friend told us. His family was the same way and they could not find a cove that wasn't already taken. Finally they found a spot and started setting up everything on the shore. About an hour later another house boat pulled in their cove and started setting up. They were bummed because they wanted the cove to themselves for the week. My friends uncle said, "get the kids inside and I'll take care of this." They wanted to make sure there was no violent confrontations so they watched closely out the window. Then all of the sudden they saw the uncle tinkering around on the shore BUCK NAKED!!! They said the other houseboat was gone within 10 minutes and they got their cove to themselves. No confrontation required! :)
And....here are some jokes your girls might like (from my girls)
What did Cinderella say at the photo shop?
Someday my prints will come.
Why was Cinderella bad at soccer?
She ran away from the ball.
What is the most tired part of the car?
The exhaust pipe.
What's the biggest pencil in the world?
Pennsylvania.
Hope these brought a smile to your face!
Love you!
Two of my favorites:
-Knock Knock
-Who's there?
-Smell mop
-Smell mop who...
Get it?:) Just say it few times and you will.
-What do you get when you cross a brown chicken and a brown cow?
I don't know, what?
Brownchickenbrowncow! (you say it like brow chika wow wow)
That's all I got but they make me laugh every time:)
I looooooved reading all of the funny stories! It was almost as good as watching a whole episode of AFV! I want you to know that your blog has made a huge difference in my life! I have 3 adopted children ages 3,2 and 1. The stories of how we got them are amazing....but having them so close together sends me over the edge. I was becoming very impatient all of the time until I read your blog. Specifically when I read the post "The Little Things" and you invited mothers to record the little things I did just that! See here .
Anyway, here is a funny email I received. It made me laugh.
You find out interesting things when you have sons, like ... 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft house 4 inches deep. 2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. 5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. 6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late. 8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies. 10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.12. Super glue is forever. 13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. 14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.15. VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. 16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is. 19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens. 20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.21. T he spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. 22. It will, however, make cats dizzy. 23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. 24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids. 25. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid!
I have a funny story about my friend's Grandma. My friend was an only child so I went on a lot of family trips with them. While we were visiting her Grandma and my friend and I went to run an errand with her in the car. Her Grandma was driving and turned onto a street which was one-way. My friend said, "Grandma, this road is one-way!" to which her Grandma replied, "I'm only going one-way!" So she drove down the road honking her horn at all the on-coming cars yelling at them to get on their side of the road. The only problem was--there was only one lane and we were going against the traffic.. I'm surprised we didn't get in an accident!
Steph-
It's bizarre, funny, and silly. But I giggle every time I watch it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUVagbFcSUU
Ok, so you already have like eight thousand comments, but I just posted a funny story on my blog. It involves vaseline and my 2 year old...
I found your blog through a friend of mine who is so inspired by you. And, I just realized that your mother in law taught an organ class in our ward. I just love her!
Here's some insight into one of my better days- I was stopped at a stop sign in Reno. Near Damonte Ranch. I was minding my own business when I heard someone honking. Whatever I thought. Suddenly a man came and knocked on my window, "Are you okay Ma'am?" "Yes, why?" "Is your car working alright?" "Of course, I'm just waiting for the light to change to green." He looked at me confused and then pointed out,"It is a stop sign , are you really sure you're okay?" I'm sure I won't have to wait till I'm 96 for a few stories like your Grandma!
I grew up in Las Vegas and just had a friend tell me about your blog - I just want to tell you what an inspiration you are! I have four children and can not begin to imagine what you have gone through, but what a blessing the church is to help us through our trials. Thank you for your thoughts and for sharing your family with those who need it - I know you are making a difference. Judy
Too funny that your Grandma bit your Mother in-law! I agree that laughter is a great way to get through life! Here are a few of my favorite funny quotes! I actually have them on the side of my blog! Hope these bring a smile to your face! You deserve to smile! Enjoy!
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."
"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh man....I could be eating a slow learner."
"Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken."
"A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed."
"A person who knows how to laugh at himself will never ceased to be amused."
What you call dog with no legs?Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
My sister, a kindergarten teacher, passed this along...
The children had all been photographed and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture... "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer, or that's Michael, he's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
Stephanie-
I've never known what I could possibly say to you about your loss of Camille. It breaks my heart. I am so sorry... but, I do know a thing or two about funny. Don't know if you attended BYU. I did. I think this video is classic:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdgFisYCPHs
I hope you can laugh today!
Marne'
While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the
beer aisle. The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she wouldn't feel comfortable about buying it. The first nun replied that she could handle that without a problem. She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier. The cashier had a surprised look on his face, so the nun said, "We use beer for washing our hair; a sort of shampoo, if you will." Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter, pulled out a package of pretzel sticks and placed them in the bag with the beer, He then looked the nun
straight in the eye, smiled, and said, ' The curlers are on the house.
Also, this guy (who's a bishop right there in Las Vegas) never fails to make me laugh out loud. My favorite story of his is about the time he got arrested:
http://thecraigreport.blogspot.com/
Rachel Merrill
Stephanie, I found your blog through Molly Jackson's, and have read it a few times. I haven't ever left a comment, because I don't always agree with what you write, but who am I to take issue with a grieving mother, especially on her own blog? I don't even know what possessed me to click on your blog today, but I am glad I did. Your response to "Anonymous" is just wonderful, full of love and saying all the truly important things. If that woman should somehow get to this post, please PLEASE know how much support is out there for you, even if you don't see it or feel it. I am praying especially for you, and for your peace, strength, and happiness.
Funny, from a BYU law professor, if you've never seen it:
http://ww3.lawschool.cornell.edu/faculty-pages/wendel/Torts_files/gordonarticle.pdf
Best to you Stephanie - even if I don't always see things your way, I admire you. Angela
I have been so strengthened by your blog. I was deeply touched by your "in vain" post. I now have words to express to my kids why we don't use our Father's name in vain.
I heard this joke at an institute activity,"Why did one bee get mad at another?" "Because he stole his honey and nec-tar." (It has to be said out loud to get the play on words)
-My funny story comes from my 4yr old. We was in T-ball when we was 3. One day his Dad had to take him to practice, my husband was getting frustrated because my son refused to participate. The coaches tried everything to get him on the field. Finally my son yelled at my husband, "I can't play my utters hurt." My poor husband was so embarressed. He then realized our son was talking about the movie Barnyard by Nickelodeon. All the cows, boy and girl, have utters in the movie.
-One more, yesterday my 2 yr old was eating. He always stuffs his mouth full till he looks like a little monkey. Our conversation...
Me: you need to chew and swallow monkey boy
4yr: no mommy he's a baboon.
Me: why is that?
4yr old: because baboons scavenge food and stuff it all in their mouths.
Our 4 yr old had MANY developmental delays and after several years of addressing them, he has obviously getting over them.
Have a good day, and thank you for sharing your strength and testimony with us.
Stephanie, a friend had a link to your blog on her blog and I have been reading it daily since. Your words are very inspiring and you have strengthened my testimony of the Gospel and the Plan of Salvation. At your request for funny jokes, here's one that my friend sent me:
The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher. I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions
with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or
limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Tayah, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'
'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad
put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh,Oh, Oh!' Tayah puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)
'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Tayah lies down with her back against the wall.)
'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!'(This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)
'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there.'
Then Tayah stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day,I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.
My husband recently decided that my son and I should watch a tape of his high school play (mind you he is 32 so this has been some years ago.) We watched it PAINFULLY for 45 minutes before he realized that he wasn't in that play.
Gotta love him!
Thank you for leading the way for so many of us to deal with grief, with death and with the understanding of pain....
Ann
I too read your blog and am inspired by you. I have a few funny things.
I lived with my 80 yr old Uncle Charles in St. George while I was single and working there. My 14 yr old sister came to stay with me for the week and while I was at work, Charles asked her for some help. He had just had a shot at the Doctor and still thought he needed a bandaid on where they had given him the shot. Charles only had 1 good hand, so my sister went to help him. He was standing in his "G's" and pulled down his bottoms and showed her where to put the bandaid on his bum! She was horrified to see his wrinkled old man bum! Traumatic for a 14yr old! HAHA
I also have a really funny 5 yr old nephew...we'll call him T. Why are the 4 nd 5 yr olds the funniest? Here are a few things from him.
The other night we moved into a new house and I had my family come over and help us deep clean it before we moved our stuff in. I was having T wipe things with a clorox wipe cause they were "so cool" according to him. After he was done, I asked him to wipe the baseboards around the house. He went to his dad and quietly said... "Dad, I didn't really come here to help." My brother laughed and asked him what he came for... he said, "Just to eat food and stuff!" Thanks for your help T!
One night he was in the bathtub and filled up a cup with bubbles. He said... "Hey mom, look, it's my beer!" To which she said... "T we don't drink beer!" He said, "Yeah mom, dad does!" She kind of chuckled and said, "No he doesn't!" and his reply... "Yuh huh mom... DR PEPPER!"
Another night in the tub he said, "Hey mom, can you get me a piece of metal?" She responded... "Why do you need metal?" His response... "So it can rust!"
One more.... a few months ago he lined up all their boxes of cereal on the table so that he could read the nutrition facts. He sat for a while looking at them all and then responded... "Grape nuts is the MOST FIBROUS!" HAHAHa.... what 5 yr old worries about Fiber? HAHA
I just read your blog for the first time today. My sister who lives in Vegas had told me about it, but I had put off reading it because I knew it would be an emotional experience. It was. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, feelings and especially your testimony.
I didn't get married until I was 34 and after six years of marriage and multiple infertility treatments, we were still unable to have children. It has been an emotional journey. We adopted a little girl just four months ago. I take a lot of ribbing for holding her too much, but after reading your blog, I'll hold her even more.
Here's my funny story. When we were kids my parents were giving a Family Home Evening about the sacrament. My dad asked what we could do to make the sacrament better. My little brother's reply was maybe we could put a little peanut butter on the bread.
I hope today is a good day.
One of my daughter's favorite toys when she was 4 years old was a Princess cash register. She had a hard time pronouncing the words "cash register" so instead she would walk around the house (sometimes in front of company!) asking where her castrator was!
I think everyone says this but... I found your blog from a friends blog! I have found your words inspiring and have started a gratitude journal for my 2 young children. I don't allow myself to write anything negative, only the cute funny things they do and it has really helped me cherish them more and not get so bogged down with the day to day monotony of being a mom of a 2 year old and 3 month old! For that I thank you. I haven't felt like I had anything to say until now. Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion!
Mom: Something in here smells really bad?!?!
K: Mom, it's probably me. Little boys ARE made of snips and snails and puppy dog tails!
I was giving my little girl and her baby brother a bath the other day and she noticed his "privey parts." (as she calls them!)
R: Mom, what is that thing floating in the water?
M: That's his penis, honey.
R:OOOHhhhh
A few moments later...
R:Mom, what are brother's privey parts called again?... I think him has a nut!!
I died. I have NO idea where she heard that!
that is why i loooooove old people. A lady in our old ward use to put gummy worms in her bra before she would do a session at the temple. She offered one to my mom once. Nasty. Also, look at this snapshot of my crazy kids.
www.stinkweeds.blogspot.com
P.S. Who do you want to win SYTYCD?
I live in Salt lake and heard about your blog through a friend of mine. I would just like to tell you that you are truly
an amazing daughter, wife, mother and I am sure the list goes on and on. Thank you for sharing your beautiful stories. You truly do inspire thousands of mothers. I am so sorry for your loss, she is a beautiful little girl, and she is now your beautiful little angel watching over you every passing minute of every passing day. Thank you and I send my love and prayers.
What a great blog! Humor helps us through so much, doesn't it? I have both a joke and a grandma story for you:
Old Mr. Smith went in to see his doctor.
"Doc," he said, "I'm having a problem with silent gaseous emmisions. I had several the other night at the theater, several at poker with my buddies, and a couple in the grocery store. In fact, I've had two silent emmisions as I've been sitting here! What can I do?"
"The first thing we're going to do, Mr. Smith," said the doctor, "is check your hearing!"
My husband's grandmother was in the last months of her life and suffering from dementia when we decided to make a visit to her and let her see our first born son, six months old at the time. Unfortunately she had no idea who we were.
My husband squatted in front of her wheel chair holding her hands telling her how much he loved her and how much she had meant to him his whole life.
Now, my husband is a satellite engineer and works with computers all day long. His grandmother looked at him gently as he spoke then said, "You have such smooth hands. You must not work at all!"
With out really 'knowing' you, I've come to admire you. Thank you for sharing your blog with so many of us 'strangers'.
I'd like to share a funny story that happened in my house just this morning. (I read your post earlier today, then this happened in the afternoon and I was able to laugh instead of something else. Thanks for helping me find that kind of reaction!)
I sent my 7 year old up to get all the dirty towels in the main bathroom and bring them to the laundry room. (with 4 boys, they pile up) He came back with a bathmat and 2 washclothes. I said (a little frustrated) J, go get ALL the TOWELS and bring them downstairs. I'm waiting to wash them. He disappeared and about 5 minutes later he reappeared with a laundry basket full of towels and a handfull of washcloths--still folded! I couldn't help but laugh as I took that laundry basket back to the bathroom to put away ALL the towels, then gather the dirty ones to take them to the washer. Maybe you won't laugh at that as much as I did, but I needed that laugh today! You're an angel.
I am not a good joketeller at all, but Lloyd is. And, he has all kinds of jokes including very corny ones. The funniest ones I'm afraid wouldn't reflect too well on us, though, so don't know if I should share. *snicker* Maybe Lloyd can share with Jonathan sometime to screen for appropriateness and then Lloyd can tell on a home teaching visit. :-P I am laughing just thinking of some of them. I must go repent now. :-)
Hugs to you.
Sorry, the penguin-in-a-backpack story (while funny) is just an urban legend:
http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/animalsinsects/a/penguin.htm
http://www.snopes.com/critters/farce/smuggled.asp
as long as everyone is leaving funnies, one night our family was praying and we weren't being very reverent the kids kept laughing over something. Anyway i said " I hope Heavenly Father has a sense of humor" , my son said," Anyone that would invent the fart has a sense of humor".
An Atheist in the Woods
An atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees"!
"What powerful rivers"!
"What beautiful animals"!
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years , teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian"?
"Very Well," said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
"Bless us oh Lord and these thy gifts which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."
Dave Barry once had a contest where he had his readers submit what they thought were the all time worse songs. He writes:
"On Readers' Reaction To The Bad Song Contest: Sometimes the voters were so angry that they weren't even sure of the name of the song they hated. There were votes against "These Boots Are Made for Stomping"; the Beach Boys' classic "Carolina Girls"; "I'm Nothing But a Hound Dog"; and "Ain't No Woman Like the One-Eyed Gott."
When I was having a rough time I wrote that last song title on a piece of paper and hung it on my kitchen wall.
--
Corny Joke:
Why did the chicken cross the road roll around in the dirt and cross back?
He wanted to be a dirty double crosser!
I'm hoping you haven't seen this one before. I think you'll like it. I noticed on a previous post that you like to go get pedicures! ENJOY!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsWrY77o77o
Sorry, just one more.
Business time will never be the same in our house!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGOohBytKTU&NR=1
Stephanie,
I found your blog on a reommendation from someone in my family. I had to read from the begining because I was confused about what had happened and had to see how on earth you were handling it all. I am so proud of you, for I see that you are growing (eternally) from this. You are becoming a strength for others when you thought you had none to spare. You immediately draw us all in. Your writing is profound, and you are a little addicting. Thank you for sharing your feelings, experieinces, and testimony. You have changed me; my kids might be too young to remember when or why I changed, but thank you. Maybe when we are all sisters in heaven we can talk and laugh about how we used to leave messages on blogs even though we didn't know each other here on earth.
I am SO HAPPY for you that you wanted funny stories and jokes. And I loved reading what has been shared. My funny is from my daughter T.L. When she was 3 "shake your booty" was popular. She sings and dances the whole day through and one day she told me, "Look mom, I can wiggle my wedgie!" :)
I will be checking in on you, and praying for you, still. I hope you don't mind. Thank you for your strong example!
Love, from Utah.
and p.s. I LOVE SYTYCD too!! We should chat about that!
In one fast and testimony meeting an elderly couple went up to the stand together. The wife got up first, teary eyed and hanky in hand. She expressed her gratitude for the ward and all of their support during her husband's surgery on and recovery of his scrotum. She mentioned several times how miraculous his scrotum recovery was. And how grateful she was for the prayers offered in behalf of her husband and his scrotum surgery. After she was done, her husband approached the pulpit, leaned into the microphone, and clearly said "STERNUM"!
*true story in my uncles ward*
Here's one for you. This is what you get when you cross at 17 year old and electrodes attached to your cheeks. This is David, my brother on youtube...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZtZPXFG8RM or search 21fo daivd what a wonderful world. Rachel
I don't know if this will be as funny to anyone else as it was to me. We have a small egg laying flock, so we've spent a lot of time with chickens. While they're miraculously useful animals, they're not the most graceful of creatures, especially when they try to fly. Their wings have to work hard to get those dumpy little bodies off the ground.
So today we were discussing our daughter's upcoming baptism. I said, "I know this probably wouldn't be kosher, but I saw an advertisement at the feed store for a guy who does dove releases, wouldn't it be cool if we could baptize her outside, then release the doves just as she comes out of the water?" My long-suffering husband who has to deal with these daily bursts of inspiration was quiet for a minute, then came back with, "Well you know we're kind of on a tight budget right now, how about instead of doves we do chickens?"
Rachel Merrill
I too love to laugh! I must say that the feeling of my cheeks hurting from laughing so hard is one of my all time favorites!!
So here is a funny true life story, when my daughter Alexis was about 2 and a half she would climb up into my bed in the mornings, well one particular morning we were laying there and she sniffs and says "Smells like Grandma is makin Eggs" (oh I was divorced and living with my parents) she then lifted her arm sniffed her armpit and said "Oh, nope, it's just me." I laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants! I still giggle at the thought of this little girl thinking that her pits smelled, let alone like eggs!!
Anyway she is now 9 and is often tortured by the retelling of this moment, but I can't help myself and I think she secretly loves it!
Oh and I loved the story about your Grandma and oddly enough it sounded familiar but I am not sure why.
I just want to thank you. I have posted a comment on your blog before but everytime I read it I am more inspired. I am more patient with my son (3 yrs old) and I realize how lucky I am to have him around, temper tantrums and all. My Aunt lost her daughter that was 2 weeks older than me 26 years ago to drowning in the family pool. I was almost 3 yrs old at the time, but I know how deeply it effects all memebers of the family. The blame, the guilt, the what ifs...all heals with time, love, and faith. She just looks forward to being able to raise her in the next life. :) The church was also a huge factor in my aunt and uncles "recovery" from losing their only daughter. I hope you find comfort in all the people you inspire and help through your trials. I know I look forward to reading your blog all the time because I know it will be spirtually uplifting. you are a truly amazing woman!
The only funny thing I can think of off the top of my head was when my son (2 yrs old at the time) leaned over to my 18 year old brother whom had been working as a lifeguard all day and sniffed him and then said, "Uncle, you stink...you need shower...pee-eew!" I'm sure I could come up with more, but that's all I can think of right now. Hope that puts a smile on your face.
Stephanie,
I stumbled upon your blog last week and have read every one of your posts. I find you so inspiring and you have made me think and look at my family in a different way. Thank you. Here is a funny my 6-year old daughter said ... hope it makes you smile.
For my son's 1st birthday he received a t-shirt that looked like it had a piece of binder paper duct taped to it that had 'rules' on it. Very cute shirt. I had it on him one day and for whatever reason, she said to me, "Mom is that suppose to look like goose tape?"
My sister told me about this post. I read your blog, but missed this post. Infact I was the one that told my sister about your blog... any way I have a good story for you. Hope its not to late to lift your heart and give you a smile
A while ago, I was in a city a few cities away from mine. an undisclosed city. I had an hour to kill. I decided I would go to a near by store, an undisclosed store, and get a few things for my dh s birthday breakfast. As I walked into the store, I started texting on my phone. I had no longer set foot in the store when the thought came, -you have an hour to kill. The bathrooms are right here in the front.- So I wandered in that direction, still texting. I saw right by the bathroom entrance that there was a wet floor sign, meaning it had just been cleaned.. okay.. then the first stall I saw was one with a little kid seat hooked to the wall, so no mama would have to set her child on the floor while the mom used the bathroom. I headed right in there since I knew it was empty. I quickly took care of my business and as I was tucking all my clothes in, I heard a mans voice. I thought, well that must be from out in the store. But then, another man made a comment to the first voice about how busy the bathroom was that night. I peeked out of the crack in the bathroom door and realized, to my horror that I was actually in the men's bathroom. oh man... what to do what to do.. I figured that I would just wait them out.. I looked a little under the bathroom wall and saw that the fella next to me was sitting down, so he might be awhile.. hum mm... the men are waiting... I have breakfast things to get... my hour to kill is dwindling... whatever! So, I make my decision. I unlocked the door and marched promptly out of the bathroom.. I walked right past those 40-45 year old men. I started to giggle when they did a double take. They started laughing when I was passed them. I was so embarrassed, even though I was laughing. A woman was right outside the men's bathroom door and saw me come out. She stopped me with her big eyes and said "were you in there?" I said "yes and I am so embarrassed". I couldn't stop laughing... I went and hid in frozen foods hoping I would not see those men again. I got my breakfast stuff and chuckled as I checked out. When I got to the car, I text ed many people sharing my incident. It really was funny and embarrassing. what a dork. ah well. I did rush over to a near by Starbucks and get a hot caramel apple cider as immediate therapy. So do I quit texting? quit going to the store? or quit going in public bathrooms? as Rachel Lind would say, its the demon texting s fault! (BTW, there where no signs that is was the mens room, except for the sign out by the door. I had been distracted by the wet floor sign) and yes, there really is a starbucks in that city
My sister-in-law introduced me to your site, and I've been reading it all night, instead of sleeping like I should be right now before my 2 month old wakes up. This is as far as I've made it in your journey so far, but I had to leave a comment before going to bed.
I don't know if you ever got into the Ferbie craze. They were silly, little, furry, robotic pets that could respond to light, sound, infrared, and even motion. If you leaned one to the side or turned it upside down, it would say, "Wooooah, Woooah!" in a cute, high, elf-like voice.
Well, my family all had one of these (I have 6 brothers and 2 sisters). I don't remember who gave them all to us, but they were often used for a good laugh or two.
My youngest brother especially got a kick out of them. I think he related to them on some level. He was the same goofy, amazingly perceptive kind of guy that always knew how to make you laugh, and had no qualms about making a fool of himself in order to help someone else. Even as a senior in high school, when most people can only see their own problems and are too worried about their image.
To make a long story short: Shortly after submitting his mission papers, my baby brother died of a tragic accident. My whole family gathered from across the USA to NY for his funeral. It was a sad, but also revealing time as we learned all the lives he had touched with his childlike love and goofiness.
Maybe it's the unique the perspective the gospel gives us that death is not the end, or maybe my family is just a little irreverant, but after the viewing was over and before the casket was closed a few special family momentos were slipped into the casket to be burried with my brother. One of these was a working Ferbie doll.
We must have been a puzzling site to the other people who came to the service, when we had to suppress a giggle thinking of the shock of some poor unsuspecting pallbearer were the casket to be jiggled just a little too much. "Whoooah...Whooah!"
Perhaps it was a little irreverant, and it's probably for the best that there were no exclamations from the casket at the funeral for the sake of those who don't accept an afterlife as a given in life. But I firmly believe that had that Ferbie made a little disturbance in the funeral, that my late brother would have been laughing harder than anyone else. In fact if he could have, he probably would have bumped that Ferbie on purpose, just to lighten the mood.
Laughter truely is the best medicine.
I've been reading (and crying) your blog ever since a friend sent me the link the other day. I am truly touched by your wisdom and perspective and faith, and I have already sent the link to a couple of friends I think could be lifted up by this. Thank you for being willing to open your heart and share with us. (And like many other readers, I went and hugged my kids a little tighter after reading.)
Now for a funny story . . . when my younger son was 3, we visited my parents at their home in the country. He'd been out climbing a red dirt hill, playing on tractors, petting the dog . . . he was really filthy. When it was time to eat, I instructed him to go wash his hands. A few minutes later, he came back and proudly said, "Mom, I licked them clean!" *shudder* (:
Hi, I just randomly 'wondered' into your site. I was looking for a quote that you happened to post. Then I realized what a tragedy happened to you and your family. Please, accept my sincere condolences!
I just wanted to make you smile and share a funny story that happened on my mission.
I've heard of two missionaries who were teaching a family and tried to commit them to baptism. It was their last visit of the day and they were tired. During their discussion they wanted to ask a family to read 1 Nephi 3:7 (“And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.”), but instead they asked them to read 3 Nephi 3:7 ("Or in other words, yield yourselves up unto us, and unite with us and become acquainted with our secret works, and become our brethren that ye may be like unto us—not our slaves, but our brethren and partners of all our substance.")
I wonder what went through the investigator's heads at that moment... :)
It is my favorite story so far, and I hope that it made you smile. :)
I hope that everything will go well for you and your family. May God bless and comfort you!
Best regards,
Lana
Hi, I just randomly 'wondered' into your site. I was looking for a quote that you happened to post. Then I realized what a tragedy happened to you and your family. Please, accept my sincere condolences!
I just wanted to make you smile and share a funny story that happened on my mission.
I've heard of two missionaries who were teaching a family and tried to commit them to baptism. It was their last visit of the day and they were tired. During their discussion they wanted to ask a family to read 1 Nephi 3:7 (“And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.”), but instead they asked them to read 3 Nephi 3:7 ("Or in other words, yield yourselves up unto us, and unite with us and become acquainted with our secret works, and become our brethren that ye may be like unto us—not our slaves, but our brethren and partners of all our substance.")
I wonder what went through the investigator's heads at that moment... :)
It is my favorite story so far, and I hope that it made you smile. :)
I hope that everything will go well for you and your family. May God bless and comfort you!
Best regards,
Lana
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