Okay, first I want to make it clear that I read every comment, sometimes several times over. Actually, comments are the highlights of my days right now. I particularly gain strength from those comments that express how reading my blog has helped someone who is grieving for any reason. I also love the comments of those who feel a change in themselves after reading the blog. I LOVE knowing that people are holding their little one longer and cherishing them a little more.
I particularly love these types of comments because they give purpose and meaning to my daughter's life. Her life was so short. Her mission was simple. She came to learn. She came to love and be loved. She died to inspire. These comments let me know that the third part of her mission is being fulfilled beyond the walls of our home. The fact that people she never would have met in her life on this earth are inspired by the writings she has inspired with her death gives purpose to tragedy.
I particularly loved the first comment on my blank pages post. :) That is why I married that incredible guy. He just makes me laugh.
For those of you struggling in the "blank pages," I highly recommend that recipe from Luke 2:52. Force yourself to do something Physical (workout), Spiritual (pray, ponder and study scriptures), Mental (write or read some or exercise your brain), and Social (serve others or just get out and be with people) EVERYDAY. It is what the Savior did and if you do it everyday it will make you happier. It is the only way I know to claw out of the pit of sorrow. Yesterday I had been down all day and done the social thing and the spiritual thing. Writing that post, my mental thing, lifted me a little. Working out lifted me out of the gloom and then getting such great comments, especially the first one, and a load of wonderful mail just really helped me find joy.
Thanks for the mail, by the way. My girls have loved the "happy mail" they have gotten and they are still opening pictures from yesterday's package from Palo Alto. Thanks Nancy and the primary kids. Jon and I appreciate the love coming through the postal system too. We are touched by the sentiments expressed and the many contributions to charities in Camille's name. We know how much good and how many lives of babies are saved through the Humanitarian Fund. We have seen it first hand in the two Humanitarian Services missions my parents have served. THANK YOU!!!
Okay I have to go take care of kids now. Sending out love to all you who comment and those who just read too. I will post later today about Annie and the Socratic method. Just no time to do it now.
P.S. Hope to see you SYTYCD fans at my house tonight @ 8:30 PM
32 comments:
Stephanie and Jon I could not help myself I had to at least make a comment. This is Alexis Sorensen I was your labor and delivery nurse at st. rose and had the extreme honor of being with you for the delivery of Camille. I had been out of town alot recently and when my sister (Whitney Jensen)finally saw me and told me the news my heart broke. Then today at work Janelle Baugh (Post partum nurse) said she got a hold of your blog and I have not been able to stop reading. You are amazing. What an inspiration you are to all of us. Like you said all I want to do is go home and hold my baby and cherish ever moment. I know you are bombarded by people, calls, mail etc. but if there is anything I can do or if you need to talk or play please let me know through blogging sorensenfamily83.blogspot.com or call me 374-2654. You are an incredible strength to me. I hope you know that I considered it an honor to be apart of the birth of Camille. It was an awesome birth fun, easy and exciting, but now it holds forever a place in my heart.
Thanks for all you have already taught me just through your blog.
love
alexis sorensen
I live in AZ but I found you through others. I am so sorry for your loss of your baby. I have a girl her same age, and her pictures remind me of my own. SHe is so beautiful, as are your other kids. I know the church is true, but I have always wondered if a tragedy occurred would I really have the faith to get through it. I don't know, but I want you to know I have never seen such strength, love, faith, and testimony in a tragedy as you have possessed. I am totally amazed by you. How you encourage others in tragedy to find ways to cope such as spiritual, physical, etc. I feel like you were meant to help so many people. I cannot fathom what you are going through. But, if I had to endure the same, I would only hope I could follow in your footsteps with the same courage and faith. Your girl was so perfect, and beautiful, and she is always with you and will be forever. Thank you for showing me what true faith can help people do. I am praying for you and all the other people out there who are dealing with the same loss. May the Lord hold you and lift you all up and help you stand when you feel you can't on your own. May Peace enter your hearts and minds and the love of the Lord carry you to the end until that day when you are all together again. From a total stranger, but sisters in the gospel, I will never forget your story and the love and lessons I have learned from you. I am rooting for you and your family! With Love-Jenna Lines jennalines@gmail.com
Thanks for the wonderful recipe. Something that works for me comes from this acronym- HALT. Don't let yourself get too:
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
i just want to say how much i love reading your posts. they really are so uplifting and i truly believe that your family is changing lives all over the earth. people who are not religious at all are suddenly thinking about including God in their lives.
thanks.
cat
ps - could your post yesterday have been funnier? thanks, jon, for the addition at the end. i always love a good laugh.
pps - i'd better get with the program and post about my sweet, funny husband.
I came to your blog from a note on my cousin, Taralee Truman's, blog. I truly appreciate you putting yourself and your feelings out there for all the world. My heart aches for you. My sweet dear friend just lost her little toddler to a tragic accident when she was struck by an automobile. I have been at a loss what to say to her or do for her. I truly appreciate all you have written. Although I still am at a loss, as there truly are no words or deeds that can bring comfort at a time like this, I am uplifted by your insights. Through the gospel we learn so many wonderful things, but they can only carry us through hard times if we truly believe. I am grateful that you have your testimony to carry you through. Although I do not know you, know my thoughts and prayers are with you & your family.
Your light and testimony will be one I will always remember.
Your words are always an inspiration, Stephanie. Thanks for sharing your experiences and insight each day on your blog. I feel spiritually uplifted after reading your posts and I've gained a greater love for the Plan of Salvation. I sense your feelings of loss and saddness as well as your unwavering love for your family and for the gospel. You motivate me to become a better wife, mother, and member of the church.
I am also someone who was told about your blog by another. You are saying you like comments so I felt that it was okay I say something. Simply, I am sorry and thank you. Yesterday I read your blog and then spent the afternoon with my 1 year old son just playing with toys. I had a lot of stuff to do but nothing seemed more important then just being with Chandler (my other children were far too busy with friends ;) ). Thank you for reminding me the importance of my children, somethng I take for granted! You are in my thoughts and prayers, Cara Camille Lerud cara.lerud@yahoo.com
I read your blog daily and am continually inspired by mom's like you who trudge through devastation and find the good. My best friend lost her 10 month old son to Leukemia almost 2 years ago this Aug. I was with her every step of the way and I can tell you that his life has affected thousands, as has the life of your sweet Camille. If you'd like to see his website, it's: www.caringbridge.org/visit/curranpace Between your two experiences, I hold my children tighter and longer everyday. Thank you for sharing so openly. Love and prayers to you... Julie
No. thank you.
Truly.
I have been reading your blog for about a week now and have never been able to comment because I had a hard enough time seeing through my tears to even read. You are amazing strong and such an inspiration. I have a 17 month old daughter and yesterday after reading more of your blog I went up to her room and held her, looked at her, and cried a little more. Thank you for inspiring me to hold her tight every day and thank you for making me stop and think about how precious life really is.
Hi Stephanie,
I am a sister-in-law to your sister-in-law. I have been reading your blog religiously since Darren and Tim called me with news of Camille. My heart aches every day when I read your blog. I too, read through tears as many others have. Let me say that you are a beautiful mother. I admire your strength, your love and your courage. Just take life minute by minute, is my motto. I have learned so much from you.I too am learning to enjoying the little things with my girls. Blogging can be wonderful therapy. You have a unbelievable way of writing in words your expression of love for your girls, husband and family.I am so grateful that we have the gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives. Please remember that even in your darker times that Heavenly Father loves you. And so many of us love you and care for you and your family too. We keep you in our thoughts and prayers always,Heather Brown
Thank you for being open and sharing your journey. Even though I don't have the same trials as you do right now, I do have trials and I find strength in your words. Thanks for posting the "recipe." Some days I don't feel "better" and now I know why. I really look forward to your posts because they offer both the echo of some of my thoughts as well as new inspiration.
I don't know you or Camille, but I miss her too, and I want to live my life so I'm with the ones I love forever. It's definitely given me renewed investment in eternity as well.
Camille was a bright and shining star and she has brought a host of people together, folks who would never have had an opportunity to meet otherwise. How amazing is that?
You are an amazing woman, Steph. You and Jon are an amazing couple. (No, Jon, I don't forget you--Brien began to be a smidge irked at times because he perceived folks forgot him...) You have created a beautiful family and through this and each other, you will survive this journey.
I know your feelings here, I felt (and actually still feel) the same way. Every day I'm grateful for those that come and visit and let me know they were there, let me know they haven't forgotten Hannah.
Peace and HUGS, friend. :o)
It sounds like you have the perfect recipe to help you live through each day. Your blog truly is inspiring and I want to thank you again for sharing your thoughts and your heart with everyone.
I know I definitely cherish my little ones more each day because of Camille.
Sending smiles...
I love reading the comments of others on your blog. To know that you have inspired everyone like you have me is wonderful. Camille did have a great mission on this earth, if it wasn't just to be your beautiful little girl that brought a smile to your face. Or to help me enjoy everything about my kids and not want to yell anymore, it has helped others hear of the gospel throuqh everyone who put your story on their blog. May your days get easier each day holding her memories in your heart. How are your girls handling all of this?
Hey Steph,
Sometimes I do not comment just because we talk on IM and through emails but today I wanted to comment. Everyday it has become part of my routine after scripture study to come and read your post for the day. Your words make me think, ponder, pray, and make me go through the day with different priorities. After I read your post, I check back and read the comments. The comments help so much. Every comment has touched me and I learn from the comments as well. Its amazing the network that has been created. You are right, Camille's mission is going forth, everyday. Even though her life was short, her legacy and sprit is felt everyday.
Steph, you amaze me with your strength, your purity, your honesty. Thank you for being so sincere in your posts.
Stephanie: I have been thinking of writing you and after your post today, I have done just that. I am like many of the other people that have written to you. I, too, have never met you; however, through our blogging world, I learned about your sweet lily, Camille. From there, I read Waite for Carolyn where I learned of Nickel Design. Cathy just beautifully redesigned my blog and she is fast becoming my dear friend. I write all of this as a way of introduction. I want you to know that I pray for you to have a peaceful heart every day. I am glad you know that your writings are being used as an instrument of faith, courage, and of our Heavenly Father's love for us, his children. Please know that as a mother, my heart mourns your loss, and at the same time rejoices in knowing that you will be with Camille again, and that I along with so many others will have the opportunity to meet her for the first time. -Kimberly
I found your blog through my sister, I live in the Bay Area, Ca. I just wanted to thank you for your blog. I have a little boy who is 14 months old. I hate to admit that before I read your blog I to often got caught up in the day to day tasks that need to be done. I forgot how quickly this time goes and how easily our time here on earth can be taken from us. Because of your blog, I no longer am forgetting to enjoy every moment with my little boy. I laugh with him more, I play with him more, and I snuggle him more. I truly believe that I will ulimatly be a better mother from reading your inspiring words. Thank you so much. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers daily.
THANK YOU STEPHANIE. My name is Lori and I was Elizabeth's roomate years ago and that is how i found your story. I just had my 3rd girl which has brought me so much peace because it can get a bit chaotic with the older two. reading your blog helps me clear the clouds and regain that eternal perspective. I always worry that tradgedy might come to my kids so I try and be vigilant, but sometimes no matter what you do, it happens. Thanks for reminding me that you can find peace and goodness through tradgedy. I have never met you, but i love you. By the way, did your parents ever live in Torrance CA? I just thought there was a connection..
Thank you so very much for sharing your life so honestly and beautifully.
Enjoy so you think you can dance.
Hi Stephanie,
I'm yet another blog reader through a friend of a friend. I have read your blog now for the last 2 weeks and I have to tell you how your story has TOTALLY and COMPLETELY given me an new outlook on life. A day hasn't gone by when I haven't thought about your sweet angel and your family. My baby is 14 months as well and I have an increased patience and appreciation for him that I feel I owe to you. My heart just aches as I read your words and I admire the strength that you have as you go through some of these "blank page" days. You have been such a teacher to me and many others and I am grateful for your testimony.
Much love from Idaho,
Staci
It is great to know that the comments that are left bring some happiness to you. Isn't is weird how people that we don't know can reach out and touch lives. There are some good people in this world who bring good to peoples lives. I still read your blog daily. It makes me feel good and it makes me think about what I have in my life and hold it closer to me. Thank you for your words that you write and thank you for showing us that you are getting better even if it is day by day.
I heard about your family from a friend of mine. She knew that you were a blogger but wasn't sure off the top of her head what the site was. I feel like I was supposed to find your blog because I came upon it that very day by complete chance. My husband and I have shed tears together for you as a mother, for your husband as a father, and for your girls who are I'm sure dealing with this as best as they can comprehend.
I started writing in notebooks last year for each of my girls just so I could remember the littlest of details. The sad thing is I only 'started.' After hearing about your story and trying to imagine myself in your situation, I realized the importance of being dedicated to the important things. I have been dedicated to writing after the girls go to bed and my husband has been taking time on Sundays to write to the girls.
Thank you for your strength and testimony. I look forward to getting a daily scoop each day.
Micaela
Stephanie,
I also have been connected through to your blog through a friend. I stayed up late the first night I peeked in. Crying with emotion but not being able to stop reading. Like a good book you can't put down. Your words are so beautiful and I love your strength and testimony. You inspire me and I get an emotional spiritual high from reading your posts. You are doing such a wonderful thing for so many people and I too agree that Camille has definitely inspired. I have a little girl just over 13 months old, so it all hits close to my heart. I have made sure to hold each of my children just a little longer and to really enjoy every moment, even the hard ones. I now check in regularly to be inspired a little more by your words. I have such a strong testimony of all that you speak of and it's touching to see God's work and power in action. He definitely shows His love in times of trial. I could only hope that if I ever had to suffer through such a trial that I would be as strong as you have been. Keep your head up and keep moving forward. You are a wonderful Mother, I'm sure Camille is proud and smiling down on you all. My prayers are with you and your family. With love and a sister in the gospel as well.
Stephanie
I just wanted to let you know that my heart goes out to you. I came across your blog thru another, and I am amazed at your strength and your outlook. Stay strong and know that you and your family are in our thoughts.
I lost my comment because I was logged in as the Enugu Nigeria Mission (probably my Dad) Know I'm thinking of you and wanting to know your thoughts on SYTYCD...were you feeling the bolleywood (sp?)?
You're loved!
I just wanted to say a quick hello, and let you know how much I appreciate reading your blog! I am amazed at your ability to put all of your thought and feelings into words. I am inspired each time I come back! I am sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the real pain you are going through but I am so glad the gospel is bringing some peace for your family. I'll be back often:)
I was browsing through Deseret Book today (gotta love Utah!) and flipped through a few "inspirational" books....they don't hold a candle to you! In all sincerity, Steph, you could write one powerful book (or many) with your gift for language and your eternal perspective on life and what it is really about. You are truly "inspirational"!
If comments can brighten your day, than that is the one thing I can do for you. I hold back on commenting, since you don't know me, but how I wish to ease your burden. I love that you see Camille's life's mission being fulfilled even as she has passed. Her little life and your tremendous mothering heart has changed, INSPIRED, and moved so many people. I think we all feel closer to the Savior, know of His reality and understand his teachings better, because we read your words. There is so much love that comes when we read your posts, its what makes me cry. Im not just sad as I much as I feel your deep eternal love and recognize those same feelings in my life that it is overwhelming. To be given these opportunitites to mother the Lord's children is one of our greatest gifts, and on a daily basis I think we forget how blessed we are by every minute. You remind us to cherish it ALL, again thank you!! And thank God for Camille.
I too have come across your blog from someone else. I myself am 9 weeks pregnant and just cant stop reading. I have cried for you, laughed for you, and am so amazed at your loving honesty. I'm so thankful to have come across this in my life. I haven't gone through something this challenging, but live in such fear and panic that I will go through it. You've shown me how much the Lord blesses us through the trials we are called to go through, and that has helped me find so much more faith to rely more upon him instead of fear him and be so untrusting.
Anyways, thanks. I am now a "follower" and have forwarded it on to a dear friend in vegas that lost her 2 year old to cancer 8 weeks ago.
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