Thirty Five

Thirty five years ago my mother in law gave birth to a baby boy. Today I send a huge thank you out to her for her sacrifice in bearing, and her even greater sacrifice (if all the stories his siblings tell are true) of raising, my sweet husband  -- Jonathan McKay Waite.

And now for one of the many ideas people gave me. I will share 35 things I love about Jonathan.

35) He is silly. As seen in the photo above. He keeps things lighthearted around here and balances out my seriousness.

34) He is sensitive to others. Shortly after we met I took his roommates and him on a drive to go see the changing leaves in Provo Canyon. On the way I put in a mix tape of music that I had gotten from my very recently ex boyfriend. The boys started making fun of the music. I got very quiet, regretting my decision to invite these boys, but saying nothing. They were still making fun of the music on our way home. One of them was trying to include Jonathan in the jokes and fun. He had stopped participating. Finally, he turned to his roommate and said, "Stephanie is not laughing. So I am not going to be making fun of it anymore." I knew then which of the boys in the car was worth my attention.

33) He loves children. Here is a photo of him playing with my friend's daughter, Savannah. She preferred to play with him than any of the rest of us the weekend they came to visit. Even though he had to work, he was happy to take time out and spend it with her. 

32) He plays the piano. I love his talent. It is the first thing that really made me notice him and cemented in my mind who he was. We had met several times but every time I reintroduced myself and then thought, "oh yeah, I think we met." Once at a party I was having I saw him turn up  the classical music playing on my stereo. I found that odd for a guy so I went over. He was commenting on how slowly the pianist played Fantasy Impromtu by Chopin. "Like you could play it," I commented. "Actually, I can," he responded. I totally did not believe him. That Sunday in Gospel Doctrine someone started playing the piano for an opening hymn. I couldn't see who it was behind the tall piano but turned to my roommate and said, "WHO is THAT, and how can I get to know HIM?" She told me it was Jonathan Waite. "Oh," I said. "Maybe he really can play that piece." I never had to ask his name again.

31) He works hard to make sure I am happy. Even when we argue and even when I am totally at fault it kills him to see me cry and he would move heaven or earth to make it all better for me. Once when we were engaged (I lived in DC and he lived in LA) we got in a fight over the phone one night. The next morning he called to make up. I was still mad at him and my feelings were still hurt. I was not being very understanding. Suddenly as we were talking on the phone there was a knock on the door. I answered to find Jon standing there with cell in hand. He had flown overnight to be there in person to make up.

30) He is smart - really smart. I have always considered myself pretty smart. I am so glad to be married to someone who I admire intellectually. He is one of the few men I ever dated that I felt was smarter than I am.

29) He has beautiful eyes. He is the source of Camille's eyes. Need I say more?

28) He has wonderful hands. They are strong and yet handsome. And they make beautiful music on that piano. I love to hold this man's hand.

27) He honors his priesthood. I love that Jonathan sees himself as the servant of the Lord in his position as the head of our home and in his callings. He always is quick to emphasize "ministration" as being more more imperative than "administration."

26) He reads my blog. 

25) He is a good provider. He works really hard to provide well for our family. He sacrifices so much personally to make sure he can do this. He is a hard worker and is not a quitter even in times when he has hated his job. 

24) He is by the book on gospel subjects. I love that he doesn't go off on his own theories about crazy, unessential, gospel topics. 

23) He is obedient to the promptings of the Lord. Jon didn't like me as anything more than a friend for the first 2 years we knew each other. I could see that our relationship could be the foundation for so much more. Still he had not interest. I always said it would take an act of God for him to like me. And I knew that if the Lord ever told him to date me, Jon would do it whether he wanted to or not. Well, that is pretty much what happened. One night Jon felt the prompting that he should date me. Despite his lack of interest he was obedient. Then on our second weekend of dates (we were on separate coasts) the act of God came. In a 24 hour period, and by total miracle, Jon fell crazy in love with me. We got engaged the next week.

22) He is quick to apologize. Even when he isn't at fault.

21) He is teachable. There are things about him that earlier in our marriage I have told him were not cool. I notice that he works really hard to better himself in these areas. Many he has completely stopped doing.

20) He makes really really REALLY cute girls. When we were single, one day I was playing a game with a friend. Who in our ward would make really cute kids if they married? Who would make really ugly kids? Well my only answer for the second question was me and Jon Waite. I told Jon this when we were engaged. He assured me this was a total impossibility. He COULDN"T make ugly kids, he said. It wasn't possible. Boy was he right on that one.

19) He is willing to do things he hates to show love. He squeezed pomegranates with us this year - JUST because he loves me.

18) He loves to travel just like I do.

17) He is an incredible Dad. He knows how to take care of our kids as well I do. He is great about spending time with his girls and showing them he loves them.

16) He has many of the same interests as I do. We enjoy the same type of "dates."

15) He has a great smile.

14) He has a really nice back side. :)

13) He is a great gift giver. I have never been disappointed by a gift from him. Some birthdays he has been able to totally turn my day from a bummer into wonderful with a gift he has given me.

12) He is patient with me. 

11) He loves my cooking. 

10) I admire him.

9) He reminds me about what is important in life.

8) He likes different desserts than me. This is great because I am never tempted by his treats and I generally get my treats all to myself. :0)

7) He has a strong testimony of the Savior, the gospel, and the prophet. I never have to feel like I am pulling him to follow the Savior.

6) He is honest. Good or bad, flattering or not, he is always honest. I know this about him and so I trust him completely. 

5) He has integrity. If he says he is going to do something, he does it. He is careful and honest in his business dealings and works hard to make sure he doesn't take advantage of others in any way.

4) He is thrifty in all the right ways and spendy in all the right ways (for me that is). He is debt phobic like me and is cheap in what he will spend of lots of things but he never gets mad at me for any money I spend. (Not that I am a big spender either.) He also is willing to spend money if we have it on things that are important and will be a lasting investment.

3) He always makes me feel beautiful, even when I don't feel it looking in the mirror.

2) He makes me laugh. He is not only silly but he is also funny. I adore his humor.

1) He is truly my very best friend and I would rather just BE with him than with anyone else on this earth.

Happy Birthday my dear Jonathan. I love you. Thank you for sharing this wonderful, terrible, crazy, and dynamic ride we call life with me and for loving me through it all.

Stephanie

Not to Be Outdone

OK, I just read my wife's recent post. And I have NOT read any comments. SO, not to be outdone, I am making the same request with the same guidelines she made in her request. Any ideas for me? What can I do for her birthday?? I promise to not read her comments so make sure we have uniques ideas on each side -- I don't want to come to the party with both of us holding hearts made out of popsicle sticks. Come to think of it (after picturing me making crafts out of household stuff) -- I don't care if it costs $$ as long as it's not over the top.

Elder Wirthlin's Wisdom

With the passing last night of Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, the oldest member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, I am reflective today. I have taken great strength from the talk he gave in conference just 2 short months ago. It has been a mantra for me since then. In his memory, I post it here in its entirety. Read, and hopefully you will be as inspired as I was hearing it.

Come What May, and Love It

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin 

Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

The way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life.

When I was young I loved playing sports, and I have many fond memories of those days. But not all of them are pleasant. I remember one day after my football team lost a tough game, I came home feeling discouraged. My mother was there. She listened to my sad story. She taught her children to trust in themselves and each other, not blame others for their misfortunes, and give their best effort in everything they attempted.

When we fell down, she expected us to pick ourselves up and get going again. So the advice my mother gave to me then wasn’t altogether unexpected. It has stayed with me all my life.

“Joseph,” she said, “come what may, and love it.”

I have often reflected on that counsel.

I think she may have meant that every life has peaks and shadows and times when it seems that the birds don’t sing and bells don’t ring. Yet in spite of discouragement and adversity, those who are happiest seem to have a way of learning from difficult times, becoming stronger, wiser, and happier as a result.

There may be some who think that General Authorities rarely experience pain, suffering, or distress. If only that were true. While every man and woman on this stand today has experienced an abundant measure of joy, each also has drunk deeply from the cup of disappointment, sorrow, and loss. The Lord in His wisdom does not shield anyone from grief or sadness.

For me, the Lord has opened the windows of heaven and showered blessings upon my family beyond my ability to express. Yet like everyone else, I have had times in my life when it seemed that the heaviness of my heart might be greater than I could bear. During those times I think back to those tender days of my youth when great sorrows came at the losing end of a football game.

How little I knew then of what awaited me in later years. But whenever my steps led through seasons of sadness and sorrow, my mother’s words often came back to me: “Come what may, and love it.”

How can we love days that are filled with sorrow? We can’t—at least not in the moment. I don’t think my mother was suggesting that we suppress discouragement or deny the reality of pain. I don’t think she was suggesting that we smother unpleasant truths beneath a cloak of pretended happiness. But I do believe that the way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life.

If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness.

Over the years I have learned a few things that have helped me through times of testing and trial. I would like to share them with you.

Learn to Laugh

The first thing we can do is learn to laugh. Have you ever seen an angry driver who, when someone else makes a mistake, reacts as though that person has insulted his honor, his family, his dog, and his ancestors all the way back to Adam? Or have you had an encounter with an overhanging cupboard door left open at the wrong place and the wrong time which has been cursed, condemned, and avenged by a sore-headed victim?

There is an antidote for times such as these: learn to laugh.

I remember loading up our children in a station wagon and driving to Los Angeles. There were at least nine of us in the car, and we would invariably get lost. Instead of getting angry, we laughed. Every time we made a wrong turn, we laughed harder.

Getting lost was not an unusual occurrence for us. Once while heading south to Cedar City, Utah, we took a wrong turn and didn’t realize it until two hours later when we saw the “Welcome to Nevada” signs. We didn’t get angry. We laughed, and as a result, anger and resentment rarely resulted. Our laughter created cherished memories for us.

I remember when one of our daughters went on a blind date. She was all dressed up and waiting for her date to arrive when the doorbell rang. In walked a man who seemed a little old, but she tried to be polite. She introduced him to me and my wife and the other children; then she put on her coat and went out the door. We watched as she got into the car, but the car didn’t move. Eventually our daughter got out of the car and, red faced, ran back into the house. The man that she thought was her blind date had actually come to pick up another of our daughters who had agreed to be a babysitter for him and his wife.

We all had a good laugh over that. In fact, we couldn’t stop laughing. Later, when our daughter’s real blind date showed up, I couldn’t come out to meet him because I was still in the kitchen laughing. Now I realize that our daughter could have felt humiliated and embarrassed. But she laughed with us, and as a result, we still laugh about it today.

The next time you’re tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead. It will extend your life and make the lives of all those around you more enjoyable.

Seek for the Eternal

The second thing we can do is seek for the eternal. You may feel singled out when adversity enters your life. You shake your head and wonder, “Why me?”

But the dial on the wheel of sorrow eventually points to each of us. At one time or another, everyone must experience sorrow. No one is exempt.

I love the scriptures because they show examples of great and noble men and women such as Abraham, Sarah, Enoch, Moses, Joseph, Emma, and Brigham. Each of them experienced adversity and sorrow that tried, fortified, and refined their characters.

Learning to endure times of disappointment, suffering, and sorrow is part of our on-the-job training. These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are precisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character, and increase our compassion for others.

Because Jesus Christ suffered greatly, He understands our suffering. He understands our grief. We experience hard things so that we too may have increased compassion and understanding for others.

Remember the sublime words of the Savior to the Prophet Joseph Smith when he suffered with his companions in the smothering darkness of Liberty Jail: “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.”¹

With that eternal perspective, Joseph took comfort from these words, and so can we. Sometimes the very moments that seem to overcome us with suffering are those that will ultimately suffer us to overcome.

The Principle of Compensation

The third thing we can do is understand the principle of compensation. The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.

One of the blessings of the gospel is the knowledge that when the curtain of death signals the end of our mortal lives, life will continue on the other side of the veil. There we will be given new opportunities. Not even death can take from us the eternal blessings promised by a loving Heavenly Father.

Because Heavenly Father is merciful, a principle of compensation prevails. I have seen this in my own life. My grandson Joseph has autism. It has been heartbreaking for his mother and father to come to grips with the implications of this affliction.

They knew that Joseph would probably never be like other children. They understood what that would mean not only for Joseph but for the family as well. But what a joy he has been to us. Autistic children often have a difficult time showing emotion, but every time I’m with him, Joseph gives me a big hug. While there have been challenges, he has filled our lives with joy.

His parents have encouraged him to participate in sports. When he first started playing baseball, he was in the outfield. But I don’t think he grasped the need to run after loose balls. He thought of a much more efficient way to play the game. When a ball was hit in his direction, Joseph watched it go by and then pulled another baseball out of his pocket and threw that one to the pitcher.

Any reservations that his family may have had in raising Joseph, any sacrifices they have made have been compensated tenfold. Because of this choice spirit, his mother and father have learned much about children with disabilities. They have witnessed firsthand the generosity and compassion of family, neighbors, and friends. They have rejoiced together as Joseph has progressed. They have marveled at his goodness.

Trust in the Father and the Son

The fourth thing we can do is put our trust in our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.

“God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son.”² The Lord Jesus Christ is our partner, helper, and advocate. He wants us to be happy. He wants us to be successful. If we do our part, He will step in.

He who descended below all things will come to our aid. He will comfort and uphold us. He will strengthen us in our weakness and fortify us in our distress. He will make weak things become strong.³

One of our daughters, after giving birth to a baby, became seriously ill. We prayed for her, administered to her, and supported her as best we could. We hoped she would receive a blessing of healing, but days turned into months, and months turned into years. At one point I told her that this affliction might be something she would have to struggle with the rest of her life.

One morning I remember pulling out a small card and threading it through my typewriter. Among the words that I typed for her were these: “The simple secret is this: put your trust in the Lord, do your best, then leave the rest to Him.”

She did put her trust in God. But her affliction did not disappear. For years she suffered, but in due course, the Lord blessed her, and eventually she returned to health.

Knowing this daughter, I believe that even if she had never found relief, yet she would have trusted in her Heavenly Father and “[left] the rest to Him.”

Conclusion

Although my mother has long since passed to her eternal reward, her words are always with me. I still remember her advice to me given on that day long ago when my team lost a football game: “Come what may, and love it.”

I know why there must be opposition in all things. Adversity, if handled correctly, can be a blessing in our lives. We can learn to love it.

As we look for humor, seek for the eternal perspective, understand the principle of compensation, and draw near to our Heavenly Father, we can endure hardship and trial. We can say, as did my mother, “Come what may, and love it.” Of this I testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Ideas Please?

So my husband's birthday is this week and mine is later in the month. We already have plans to spend a weekend alone as our birthday present to each other. So I am not spending any money on Jonathan for his actual birthday.

Still, I want to do something special for him on his actual birthday. I already plan to make his favorite birthday dessert-my grandmother's banana cream pie. But you all did such an awesome job with ideas for Christmas, I thought I would ask for ideas for birthdays. I am sure we all can use some great ideas for how to make a birthday special without spending money.

So if you have a great idea or have done a fabulous birthday surprise using no money, care to share? I look forward to the ideas! And Jon if you read this ... please don't read the comments till after your birthday :).

Man and Woman

Okay, last question from the other week to answer. It was about why only men hold the priesthood.  Here I will quote the question:

"I still don't understand why only men can receive the priesthood & higher levels of... whatever-ness? I don't know the right word for it. Certainly not spirituality... maybe "ranks"? With elder and all that... deacon, teacher, priest, elder... 

Well, anyways, whatever the right word is, I still don't understand why only men can get it. How do women get to feel people's spirits in a way that men don't? I am not trying to be rude, I just really don't understand... I grew up with both men and women pastors so it is unusual to me to see different roles for men & women in a church."

I am not sure my answer will "satisfy" this asker. Like I said previously, it is only the Lord's answer that ever really satisfies us and helps us know things fully. But I will explain a few things more fully.

First, the "whatever-ness" referred to are offices in the priesthood. They are like levels. Worthy young men get the Aaronic Priesthood and are ordained to the office of a deacon at 12. They can do certain things with this level or priesthood like pass the sacrament at church. At 14 they can receive the office of teacher. They can still do all the things a deacon can do and also do the things a teacher can do. At 16, they can be ordained a priest and can serve in more ways like blessing the sacrament at church. Adult men can in time and through worthiness be ordained with greater and higher offices of the priesthood. 

Without going into a full lesson on the offices of the priesthood, I will move on to give my thoughts on the real question here. Why do only men get it? I am going to ask you to ponder a question and see if it can help give you an answer. Why can only women play such a uniquely intimate and integral role in the bringing forth of life? Only women can grow life within them and feel the emotions and physical sensations that accompany that role. Only women are given of God the ability to sustain the life of the newborn through nursing. 

The world greatly underestimates the power and importance of the office and calling women have been divinely given as mothers. This is a power afforded to women alone. No man can ever fully be a mother. Many are loving and kind but there is a unique feeling of love that a mother has with her child. It is through motherhood that women are able to feel of another spirit in a way a man cannot.

I do not say this to demean the role of fatherhood. It is also vital to a child and holds it own unique feelings. Still fathers miss out on the bond inherit in being part of the creating process for such an extended period of time and in such a life altering way.

The Lord says in the scriptures through Paul that "neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord." The Lord wants man and woman to be united together and these two together make each other whole. He has made us dependent upon each other by giving each of us different keys that are both necessary and equally powerful. 

If a woman could also hold the priesthood, how unequal would that be? God has given men the priesthood to help equalize their opportunities for service with that of women particularly in their roles as mother.

I think if we had even the slightest glimpse of how our Father in Heaven really feels about motherhood we would feel that men are by far getting the shorter end of the stick in this division of blessings. 

I can see how this can seem unequal or foreign growing up in a church where church pastors were both male and female. But this is another example of that parable I referred to where we are raised in a culture that is different from others and definitely all of our cultures are different from God's. 

That is why only God can help us satisfy our need for understanding because only He can help us know His culture and His understanding of things. But I hope my answer at least gave some food for thought on the issue.

LDS View of Heaven

Hello folks. Time to answer another of those questions.  The question was …”In your religion, are LDS the only ones going to heaven?”

The very short answer is … “no.”

The very long and detailed answer about who goes where after this life, according to our doctrine, is found in the Doctrine and Covenants. This is a canonized book of revelations given to the prophet Joseph Smith from Jesus Christ.  So to Mormons, it is scripture.

Here I will give you a basic view of our understanding of heaven.  We believe that nearly everyone goes to heaven, but that there are different degrees of glory in heaven. Your works and acceptance of the grace of our Savior through repentance determine which degree of glory you inherit at the final judgment day.

AFTER DEATH AND BEFORE THE JUDGMENT DAY

Now I will note that these degrees of glory are assigned after the final judgment day. This is not where we go right when we die. Right when we die we either go to Spirit Paradise or Spirit Prison to await the final judgment day. Here is a description of those who go to Spirit Paradise: Those who are just and have been faithful in the testimony of Jesus while they lived in mortality, who departed the mortal life firm in the hope of a glorious resurrection, through the grace of God the Father and his Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ. (Taken from Doctrine and Covenants section 138:12, 14.)

Those who go to Spirit prison are described as follows: The wicked, ungodly, and unrepentant who defiled themselves while in the flesh and rejected the prophets. (D&C 138:20-21)

Okay so after we die, good people go to paradise and wicked people go to prison. There we wait until the judgment day.

THE THREE DEGREES OF GLORY

When we are judged we can go to one of three degrees of glory or outer darkness. May I quote from the Bible Dictionary that is tacked onto the end of the LDS printing of our King James versions of the Bible;

“It is apparent that if God rewards everyone according to the deeds done in the body, the term heaven as intended for man’s eternal home must include more kingdoms than one. In speaking of man in his resurrected state, Paul tells of glories like the sun, the moon, and the stars (1 Cor. 15: 39-41). He also speaks of the “third heaven” (2 Cor. 12: 2). Jesus spoke of “many mansions” or kingdoms (John 14: 2).

“Latter-day revelation confirms the teaching of the Bible on these matters and verifies that there are three general categories or glories to which the members of the human family will be assigned in the judgment following their resurrection from the grave. These are known as the celestial, terrestrial, and telestial kingdoms, of which the sun, moon, and stars are spoken of as being typical (D&C 76; D&C 88: 20-32; D&C 131: 1-4). In addition to the degrees of glory, there is a place of no glory, called perdition, reserved for those who commit the unpardonable sin.”

Now within each of these three kingdoms there are many levels. The only place reserved for those baptized by proper authority (or in today’s world and our view, the LDS) is the highest level of the celestial kingdom.  Now, it is important to note that every soul will have the ability to accept or reject ordinances necessary to receive this glory if not in this life then the next. 

This is part of what we do when we worship in our temples.  We perform ordinances for deceased relatives to either accept or reject in the after life.  God is a just and fair God and will give all the chance to choose eternal life if that chance was not granted during mortality.

Basically, the level of heaven we believe good people of other Christian faiths will go to will be much like the heaven they are taught in their doctrine that they will go to. They will be angels and will live in peace in the presence of the Savior.

Our doctrine in the LDS church gives us a more literal reading of the commandment of Jesus for us to be even as our Father in Heaven. The highest level of celestial kingdom is reserved for those who were faithful members of the church of the Firstborn. These are faithful people baptized by the proper authority, who have made further covenants with the Father in the Temples of God and lived faithful to these covenants.

The inhabitants of this highest level of the celestial kingdom are married to the spouses to whom they have been sealed in the Temple and they become literally like our Heavenly Parents. They dwell in the presence of God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ.

I hope that answers the question about if we think only LDS go to heaven. Joseph Smith saw a vision of all these degrees of glory and said even the least of them, the telestial, where wicked people go was so amazingly wonderful it was beyond our comprehension. The “hell” part of this kingdom will be knowing how much more they could have had and not being able to have it. That and they will not be with the Savior. Instead they will be ministered to by the Holy Ghost.

I think this is one of the most generous doctrines of heaven out there. It also is the only one I know of that teaches that it is possible for family relationships to last forever. I know many people who believe that. It seems to be within us to just know that because the love we feel for each other does not die with death that our relationship as husband or wife, mother and child, should also not cease.

But as far as I am aware, the LDS church is the only church whose doctrine specifically teaches that this is possible through participating in the proper ordinances through proper authority here on earth.

In the past, I have always thought this a “nice” doctrine. Now … well it is the driving force behind my newly doubled efforts to live worthy of His grace and to valiantly keep all the covenants I have made with my Father. I want to raise my daughter Camille as her mother. This great trial that serves as a motivator to me has not perfected me. I still struggle to put off the natural man and live worth of the Spirit at all times. But, I will spend the rest of my life striving to live worthy so that I may claim that privilege of raising Camille and being where she, by the grace of the atonement is already assured of being. 

Rolls

Here is the roll recipe. It is my sister in law Elizabeth's grandmother's recipe. Enjoy the love!

Grandma Garff’s Sour Cream Rolls

Ingredients:

1 large carton of sour cream (2 cups)
1/4 cup shortening
Heat them together in a little pan, but don't boil.

Place in mixing bowl and stir in:
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 eggs, well beaten

Directions:
Take 2 packages of dry, fast rising yeast and dissolve in 1 cup of luke warm water.   Then mix with other ingredients in large bowl.   Add 7 1/2 cups flour, and knead.

Cover the bowl with aluminum foil and place a dishtowel over it.   Place bowl and contents, well covered, in a refrigerator overnight (or in a cold oven for 3 hours) and until the dough has doubled in bulk.   Make rolls and place in roll pans, cover with dishtowel and let raise for about 3-4 hours.

Don't make them too small.   If you fold them over, put a little butter between the folds.   Bake 9-12 minutes, depending on oven, at 350 degrees.   Bake until rolls are light brown--not dark brown.

I cut the dough into 4 equal parts and then roll it out into a 16 inch circle. Then I use a pizza cutter to cut the circle into 16 even triangles. I roll them up like Cresent rolls and butter them with a melted butter and a pastry brush hot out of the oven.

Make them tastier!

This dough is an excellent base for cinnamon or orange rolls.

After the first rising, divide dough 4 ways.  Roll each section out into a circle.  Brush dough with softened butter. Sprinkle with brown sugar & cinnamon (for cinnamon rolls) or sugar and orange zest (for orange rolls). Roll into log shape and slice 1 ½ inch rolls.  Place in buttered pyrex and bake.

Optional (but not to me) Frosting:   While the rolls are still slightly warm, frost with a butter, milk, powdered sugar frosting (cinnamon rolls).  Or butter, OJ and powdered sugar (orange rolls).  I just eyeball this.  I like my frosting like my shakes, on the thick side.

Giving Thanks

Today I am giving thanks for a simply wonderful day. We spent the whole day with family. Everyone helped cook or clean something. It was a relaxed day. No major kid meltdowns. Lots of really cute loves from my niece Aubrey who is a couple months younger than Camille would have been. 

And the food ... ahhh yes the food. Did I mention my family is full of great cooks? And Thanksgiving is my FAVORITE meal. And I am thankful I got to enjoy the meal fully with no sick stomach to hinder the enjoyment.

We had all the traditional foods. Turkey with my dad's stuffing that he, Jon and my brother Darren made together last night. Darren then took half and headed to Utah with his wife. It was unbelievably good. I wish I could give you all a bit. My dad knows how to season things so well.

Mom made an old family favorite jello salad. I made homemade sour cream rolls. Hot out of the oven, they almost melt in your mouth. I also made my grandmother's candied yams. No marshmellows allowed. We actually "candy" the yams by baking them for hours in brown sugar and butter. Pretty much they turn out to be dessert, and they are my favorite dish at Thanksgiving. 

Jon's sister Marleen and her husband Spencer brought fresh green beans and mashed potatoes. Yummy! And my mother in law brought a pecan pie, Dixie salad (a Las Vegas pioneer dish with pomegranates, apples, nuts and other things in whipping cream), and 2 amazing homemade cranberry relishes. 

Just before we started our dinner, our friend Chris Herrin (the head pastry chef for the Venetian Hotel) showed up with a culinary student assistant named Lenny. He brought us some extra pies from the Bouchon. A pecan, 2 apple, and the best pumpkin I have ever had. 

Pumpkin pie with roasted pumpkin seeds on top of whip cream that looked like marshmallows because it was so perfectly piped.

To top it all off, Lenny brought us some of his "homework." A chocolate yule log mouse cake with pumpkin truffles on top. It was beautiful! And it tasted even better than it looked, though that seemed impossible. Thanks Chris and Lenny!

Chris and Lenny had a tasting plate of our food. Chris said it was better than anything they were serving at the restaurant. Normally I would think he was just being nice. But today -- Thanksgiving -- well we do Thanksgiving right. And I honestly don't think there was a better meal anywhere in the valley today. 

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! I am thankful for all of you today and everyday. You truly enrich my life in so many ways. Tonight my heart feels full in a way I have long wondered if it ever would again. I know Camille is feeling that full joy as well which tops off the joy in my heart this day. It is a wonderful thing to have your heart as full as your stomach at the end of the Thanksgiving meal.

A Parable and An Answer

MANY years ago, I was a foreign exchange student. I lived in Spain for a summer with a host family. I went through a training program before embarking on this adventure. I was not taught Spanish (that might have been helpful), but rather I was prepared for living in a new culture.

In this training, the following story was shared:

A young American woman was invited to visit a distant country. She did not know the language and was given no instruction before arriving. She was to make the trip alone. Upon her arrival, she was taken by a native of this foreign land to a dinner to welcome her. 

She was escorted into a large room with dirt floor but pathways built up off the ground leading to tables and chairs. Her female escort took her over to a spot on the dirt and motioned for her to sit. She noticed that many other women were also seated on the ground while the tables and chairs remained empty.

After every woman was seated each pulled a veil over her head. The American was also handed a veil. She put it over her head but it was thin enough that she could see through it. She watched as a few moments later men began entering the room on the pathways. They walked on the pathways to the tables and chairs. Once seated they kept their feet on foot rests that were part of their chairs.

When the food was served, the men were all served first in double portions. The men began to eat. They ate some of everything they were served and then handed one of their two plates to the servers who then took the plate to one of the women. The women then ate what was left on the plate.

At the end of the ceremony the men left, their feet never touching the ground. Afterwards, the women removed their veils and exited.

The American woman was highly offended by the way women were treated in this society and promptly wanted to cut her visit short and go home. She called to make arrangements with the person who had arranged the visit. This person was surprised by her call. He was native to the foreign land.

She explained how she did not feel comfortable being in a society where women were treated so poorly. The man was shocked. After the woman explained her experience, the man explained his culture. 

In our culture woman is the highest form of life. She is worshiped second only to the mother earth. No man is ever allowed to touch the mother earth with his skin. It is too sacred. Women on the other hand, eat all their meals on the earth and are allowed to touch the earth any time they want. 

Because the woman is so sacred, men are not allowed to look upon any woman except his wife and children. Thus when in groups, women wear veils through which they can seen but not be seen. As a sign of respect, men are to taste everything a woman would like to eat before she eats it to ensure it is worthy of her palate and not poisoned. In all the man was shocked that in someone could so totally misjudge his people due to these cultural differences.

So that is the end of the story. Now -- why I am sharing it. First off, because I want to remind all my readers and commenters that we are all human with our own shortcomings. We don't always understand what others mean with their words or the background behind their comments. We all are often too quick to judge things or people we don't fully understand. I appreciate how protective so many are of me. And I appreciate others concerns, however misplaced, for my healthy healing. Luckily, I have been blessed with rather thick skin in some regards and I am doing very well and healing in the right way and at the right pace for me. Let's spread a little more love around for all shall we? ;) Even to those with whom or with whose comments we don't agree.

Additionally, I think this fictional analogy gives a nice lead in to how I view some of the questions asked about my church. I have learned over the years and from experience like my time in Spain that it is important to realize we just don't understand everything. 

The world is filled with many different sets of cultures and values. Heaven has its own culture and its own values. We on Earth get glimpses of the values and some of the culture in heaven through reading the scriptures and listening to the prophets. Some of these values have become part of the values of our societies. But not being residents in heaven, and not remembering our life there before we were born, we are not experts in all of heaven's ways.

Taking that into consideration, I want to highlight my acute awareness that God is God -- all knowing, completely holy, all powerful -- and I am just Stephanie -- made of the dust of the Earth. I do consider myself a reasonably smart human, but I do not pretend to understand the tiniest fraction of what the Lord understands.

So, when the Lord speaks, I listen, believe, and try my best to obey. LOTS of times, I do not understand his direction. He doesn't always tell us the WHY. Actually, it seems most of the time He holds the Why to Himself. It seems He wants to see if we will be humble enough, even child like enough, to obey without having to know the why. 

The point is -- who am I to question or challenge God's wisdom? Nobody. So I don't do it. If He is the author of it, I don't question it.  Are you with me? 

Okay, now is where it gets a little more tricky. How do we know when God is the author? He doesn't often appear to man or to us personally to give us direction. Heck, even having heavenly messengers or angels are rare events, at least for me seeing as I have never had one of those.

So how do we know? The answer is personal revelation, experimentation, and peace. This process is very personal. But God will let us know when He is giving direction to us through the peace of the Spirit. We can experiment with the direction and try it out. This shows faith. This faith is often rewarded with greater understanding of the direction and more surety of its source. 

Now for my personal perspective and experience -- As a 14 year old girl, I spent a year studying the scriptures on my own. I had been raised in an LDS family and never really had huge doubts about what my parents taught me, still I couldn't say I knew the church was true. I wanted to know for myself. So I began praying during this period of study, that the Lord would let me know if it was true. 

During this year, I realized I had made lots of mistakes in my life. I repented of those and had an incredible and powerful experience one night where I felt the full effects of the atonement of Jesus Christ in paying for my sins. I physically felt the burden of my sins lifted off my shoulders and knew without a doubt that I had been forgiven (that is another story for another time).

Later that year I took a trip to visit places of interest in my church's history. One of the last stops was at the Sacred Grove. This is the grove of trees where Joseph Smith first vocally prayed and where he was answered with a personal appearance by our Heavenly Father and the Savior giving instruction to him. 

I spent a little time praying there myself. Honestly, I was too concerned about the mosquitos and mud to feel much. :) But directly afterward I went with our group to a meeting where we were invited to share our feelings about the place and our experience. Sitting there in the group I thought about how much I wanted to know for myself about whether or not all of this really happened and whether Joseph Smith really did have that experience, whether he was a true prophet, whether the Book of Mormon was truly scripture. 

Suddenly, as if a veil were lifted off of my understanding, I realized that my heart felt like it was on fire. I felt a physical sensation of warmth inside of me that permeated my being. This was nothing like heartburn. It was unlike anything I had ever felt before or since. It felt so wonderful. I also realized that it had not just begun when I noticed it, but it had been burning there for who knows how long, and I had just now realized it. 

I knew at that moment that this was my answer. There was question or doubt in my mind as to the source of this feeling. It felt so good and so happy and so loving. I just KNEW that this was the Lord telling me 1) Joseph Smith was a true prophet, 2) He did indeed have that vision in that grove, and 3) the Book of Mormon he translated was indeed true scripture.

What is more, I knew that God was very aware of my realization. I knew it. I knew God knew I knew it. And I could never deny it. A few minutes later I walked into the foyer of the visitor's center where we were and grabbed some paper comment cards. I wrote down on several of those cards a message to myself. I wrote down how I felt. I wrote what I knew. I committed myself to live all my life according to this knowledge. I still have those cards. They are in a closet 5 feet from me right now. 

Now, I am a logical thinker. For me knowing those 3 truths also proved MANY other things true without me having to have a specific answer to each one. For example, if Joseph Smith is a true prophet, then logically, his prophetic teachings must also be truly from God, whether I understand them or not.

Additionally, I have since then gained a strong testimony of the prophetic callings of each of the prophets since Joseph Smith. I believe fully that each of them were prophets of the Lord. They were also men. They were not perfect men. Sometimes, in day to day life, they may have said or done things that were not "prophetic." But in their official capacity, when they gave direction to the church, I believe that was of God. 

This brings me to one of the questions asked: "I do, however, wonder how Joseph Smith's beliefs concerning polygamy were abandoned while keeping his other beliefs." I should note that the question, in my view, should ask "why are some of the doctrines taught by Joseph Smith still followed while others like polygamy have been abandoned." A small difference but polygamy was not a "belief" of the prophet's. Joseph Smith testified that it was a direct commandment of the Lord that, according to his own account, was one he did not want to follow. 

I do not believe there has ever been a doctrine of this church that has not been given us of God. I don't pretend to understand all of the directions or WHYs but I believe they are of God. Some of these doctrines have been very difficult for the members to live or understand. In changing times, God's directions have often changed. This does not make God a changing being. It makes Him a pragmatic Father to a very changing people with changing problems and changing needs.

It would have been a sin for Noah not to build the arc. For us, arc building is not in the list of commandments. God had never given direction about what we should watch on TV and in movies until our day and age. Joseph of old in Egypt was given direction to store wheat for the 7 years of famine. Moses was directed to lead the Israelites around in the wilderness for 40 years. God only gave those Israelites the amount of truth and law they were ready for -- the 10 commandments -- and did not give them the higher law at that time. When Jesus came, He gave the higher law and through His sacrifice ended the need for animal sacrifice. 

Directions from God change according to the needs of His children in their current day and age. So on the question of why we LDS people follow some of Joseph Smith's teachings but not others, like polygamy -- it is because a latter prophet received direction from the Lord (in 1890) that no further plural marriages were to be performed. Whatever purpose the Lord had in commanding its commencement, had been fulfilled. 

Now, I did not live in the days of polygamy. I am not asked to live it. It is not important that I understand the why. Personally, I am more concerned with following the directions the Lord has given to the people of my day. I want to be prepared with my 72 hour kits for my family and have a storage of food and water for my family in case of times of need or some disaster. I want to keep the influence of Satan that is rampant on the internet and on TV out of my home as much as possible. These are just a few of the directions specific to my day. People in the 1800s didn't have my worries and I don't have theirs.

Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof (Matt 6:24.)

More Questions

There have been a few more questions in the comments regarding the LDS faith and a few of its doctrines or teachings. I am not at all offended by the questions. They seem to be asked in a spirit of curiosity. Because they have been asked in such a neutral way, I plan on doing my best to answer these questions for you. 

I would not answer if I felt they were asked to elicit debate on the subjects. In answering, I am not trying to "convince" or "convert" anyone to my view. My intent is only to help those whose faith is different from mine to see the issues from my eyes so that they can understand how I see them even if they don't agree with me.

I write this preface because I want those not of my faith to know that I respect other faiths. I encourage all of you, whatever your faith may be, to be active in your faith and seek out a relationship with God. I don't care what name you give Him or what form you think He has, I hope all of us will strive to grow closer to Him. All good comes from God. There are lots of churches doing lots of good in this world. I believe all the good any church does is inspired of God. 

For those of you seeking further light and knowledge that you are not finding in your current faith, I would offer the invitation to learn more about the LDS faith. Meet with your local missionaries. They will teach you the basics of our beliefs and invite you to pray about what they have taught. It is the Lord who tells us which faith is right for us. Missionaries give you information and invite you to find out for yourself if it is true or not.

I will try to answer or rather explain how I view some of these more "misunderstood" or "challenging" subjects in my faith. However, as one of the commenters said, "I really am just curious... nobody has been able to explain it in a way that I feel satisfied with the answer, you know?" The real TRUTH is that on any subject that you find challenging, only the Lord speaking directly to your spirit can give you answers to satisfy. And even then, in my experience, He does not give you answers about algebra until you know and believe all your basic math facts.  Does that make sense? 

We must first understand the priesthood and believe that the prophet really does receive revelation for the church from Christ before we can believe any specific doctrine taught. That is especially true for doctrines taught in different time periods under different circumstances. 

I do hope though that after I post my answers you will at least be able to see my reasoning. And because I do believe each prophet since Joseph Smith to Thomas Monson and all those prophets in the scriptures too are and always have been inspired of God, I hope my understanding will make sense to you even if you don't agree with it. 

Baby Blessings

Kathryn M wanted to know more about baby blessings. Specifically who writes or delivers them. And if they tell the future of the baby. I may have to back up a little to explain this properly. Bare with me.

In the Bible, Jesus gave to Peter and the other apostles the "keys to the kingdom" or the power and authority to act in the name of God. This would allow them to continue the Saviors work and lead the church by revelation from God after the Savior was killed. It is by this power that the apostles preformed miracles in Christ's name. It is this authority, directly from the Savior who had chosen them out of the world, through which they guided the church in those early days.

We call this power and authority the priesthood. But the world was too wicked for those early apostles and in time all of them were killed and the priesthood authority was lost. Saints or believers still had the teachings of Jesus and the apostles, but they had lost that priesthood power, that presiding revelatory authority necessary, to guide the church under Christ's direction in the challenges of that present day. We call this the apostasy.

Still there were lots of good people who prayed and got answers to their prayers. They were personally guided by the Lord in their lives. But we believe there was no church that was headed by Christ himself with Christ's prophet as the president or leader of the church.

Fast forward to 1830. Here Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdry are visited by Peter, James, and John, the biblical apostles. These angels give Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdry these same keys to the kingdom, to bind on earth and in heaven, or the priesthood power, that Jesus gave to them.

This power is passed from Joseph Smith to others the same way he got it -- through saying a special prayer while placing hands on the head of the one receiving the priesthood. Only one holding the priesthood can give it to another. Each priesthood holder can trace his authority back to Jesus Christ this way.

Okay now that the background is done (thanks for the patience), on to baby blessings. My husband, and most worthy active men who are Mormons, hold some level of this priesthood. They are not given authority to preside over the whole church. Only the current prophet and apostles have that. But they are given the power and authority to preside over their homes and act in the name of God in their duties as a father.

I should note here that this priesthood is only effective when the man is truly living worthy and by the Spirit. It is not a free reign to boss everyone around and be the power figure. It is a way for men to serve and sacrifice for their children and wife even as a mother spends her life serving and sacrifices her body for her children in her divinely appointed role as mother.

So one of the benefits of this priesthood is the opportunity to receive blessings given by this power and authority. There are many kinds of blessings given under priesthood authority. We give them in times of sickness to heal, just as the apostles did and with that same authority. They are given to give comfort and guidance. I received a few of these types of blessings after Camille died. They were very healing and are still a great comfort to me. I KNOW the priesthood holder was but a mouthpiece for the messages the Lord wanted me to have in those blessings.

Fathers often will give their children blessings when they start a new phase of life, like a new school year. These will encourage, warn, give comfort, or bestow blessings on the child. And also, new babies are blessed and given a name to be known on the records of the church. This is typically done in the first few months of life. It is usually done at church in our main sacrament meeting.

If the father of the baby holds the priesthood, he usually gives the blessing. Otherwise a grandfather, uncle, or anyone the family chooses who holds the priesthood can perform the blessing.

Blessings themselves are not written in advance. They are not pre planned. The man or men (often the one giving the blessing is joined by other priesthood holders) place their hands on the head (or in a baby blessing they all hold the baby together) of the person being blessed. The priesthood holder giving the blessing, or being voice, begins by invoking the power of the priesthood that he holds and then proceeds to give the blessing.

Now I have never given a blessing. Women get enough opportunities for service as women and mothers. We don't need the priesthood to help us in that area. But, the words of the blessing are given to the priesthood holder by faith and through the Spirit. The priesthood leader must be listening to know what the Lord would have be in the blessing. How this exactly happens -- well I am pretty sure the answer to that is as individual as how each of us hear the Lord in our lives. Some of us see visions, some hear voices, some feel peace, some feel a warmth in their soul, some just feel right about certain things. It is just as individual for each priesthood holder.

Blessings are not often recorded. But I often take notes as fast as I can when my children are blessed. I took notes during Camille's blessing. Jon told her that there would be a special circumstance in her life that she would have to go through. He noted the lineage of faith from with she descends and how her faith would grow through this experience. He said she would always be a great example to all her older sisters.

I remember asking Jon after the blessing what that meant. He said he didn't know. He couldn't find words to properly fit what he felt. Just that she would have something she would have to go through. I remember thinking and telling him, "that does not sound good." I certainly did not think it would be that she would die early. That was no where in my imagination. I thought maybe she would have some sickness or other trial to endure.

But as it turns out her blessing is being fulfilled. She is no doubt growing in her faith daily under the tutelage of her faithful ancestors and the Savior himself. And she is in every way an example to her older sisters and her mother and father as well. Blessings are not like fortune telling, but sometimes the Lord shows us a tender mercy by giving us a forewarning of things to come so that we may stand strong through the storm.