Tuesday, February 9, 2010

And the Rains Fell

The house is quiet. Everyone is asleep. I am finishing up a few last minute details before retiring to bed. I like to have a few quiet moments to myself at the end of the day to reflect and gather myself. Tonight my there is the gentle accompaniment of falling rain to underscore my thoughts. 

Earlier today I looked out the window. Beyond my backyard fence I saw only one thing -- Gray. All the world was a big gray cloud. There were no mountains or houses or sky. There was only gray moisture. I thought to myself then, "We could be in heaven." Now I expect heaven to be more "light" and pure light than "gray" but the fact that I couldn't see "the world" out my window for that moment took me to another place.

I love the rain. I loved it when it came so often after Camille died. It was as if the heavens were mourning with me. When the storms came so violently that winter and pounded our house with torrential rains, I felt it was an outward expression of how I was feeling inside. 

Now the rains seem to drizzle. We have had weeks of scattered showers. It seems most of the time when I am outside the rain is so fine and light it is just more of a mist. And yet it lingers. Sometimes it seems it is done. I saw blue skies peaking though just beyond the gray this evening. But alas the pitter patter of the falling drops tells me we are not quite finished yet.

Rain is good. We all need rain. The earth needs the rain. We need the rain. We need it to feed our plants and fill our rivers and lakes. We need it to drink and work and live. Rain is essential for life. And rain also tempers our souls. It turns us inward to our homes and our families and our hearts. It gives us a down time so we can mark the new highs we will have when the sun is once more shining. It reminds us to be grateful for the sun and all its light and warmth.

I am grateful for the rains. 


Lori said...

My father always loved the rain, & we would sit on the front porch just listening, watching, & yes, even smelling the rain. Now that he's gone a really good rain seems to bring him back. Nice to know that others see the beauty in it as well.

Marylin said...

I love the rain too, maybe it's the whole growing up in Vegas that makes me love it so. I miss it now that we have moved away, it's just snow here in these parts! Steph I have been thinking of you lots lately and I miss getting to randomly run into at the Temple, Time out for Women (even though you didn't know I was there) I just want you to know that I was thinking of you and I hope you are feeling the love! :)

Robin gut my favorite title is Grandma said...

I recently moved from Las Vegas to Idaho where, for the first time in my life, the sun doesn't shine most of the time. I have thought how symbolic my situation has become to me. While living in Vegas the sun shone most of the time and my life was pretty non-stress and ran along quite well.
Since moving to Idaho I have endured challenges I've never faced before along with more dreary, rainy days and much less sunshine.
I have learned something through this experience. I took for granted those easy times. I took for granted the sunshine and BECAUSE those times were brighter I did not seek out the SON as I should. The dreary times I now experience have helped me to realize how important both sources of light can be in my life. I appreciate a day filled with the warming sun shining through my windows, and I also appreciate the warmth from my Saviors love as it penetrates and comforts my soul.

Anonymous said...

I found this blog. Her Honesty is incredible.
Read the post right after the Pneumonia update... To read her honesty on what happened to her family.


Anonymous said...

she reminds me of you on her posting to be an outlet for her feelings. I dont know if you will really want to read it, it might be too close to home, but I found it as life altering for me as it was when I was reading about your story and emotion.

Anonymous said...

I love the rain too. Even more now that we live in the desert. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, " Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain".

Have a great day!

Nikki K.

Chelsea said...

This has been one of the rainiest seasons I have seen in a while. It is so soothing... my favorite days to nap, or read to my kids, are rainy days.