After studying yesterday we went out with some friends to a new small restaurant on the east side near where I grew up. It is on Flamingo between Sandhill and Pecos. The name is Nosh and Swig. It is small plates and really tasty food. We had a party of 8 so we tried lots of food. There wasn't a single dish we didn't like.
Some favorites were the dr. Pepper short ribs and the pretzel roll brat sandwiches and the sticky bun tacos. If you are looking for a fun dining experience with good food, check it out!
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Monday, January 21, 2013
Where am I?
This is where I have been and what I have been doing. Studying for the bar kicked into high gear the week of Christmas. Been studying 8-10 hrs a day and spending precious free moments cherishing my kids and hubby. I go to the gym daily to walk while studying and mostly cuz they will watch my boys for 2 hours a day. :). Then home to feed lunch and put down to nap and study more. If you don't hear from me more till march this is why. Love you all!
Friday, December 21, 2012
Anticipating Christmas ... A Conversation with Ann Marie
I had to take a minute and record a bit of my conversation with Ann Marie on our way home from dance. I will try to quote it as exactly as possible. Items in italics are my thoughts (even if they are in the middle of Annie's dialogue) during the conversation.
Mom: So Annie, what are you most looking forward to about Christmas, gifts under the tree? Surprise gifts? Santa gifts? Those were always the things I most anticipated.
Annie: You mean on Christmas eve or Christmas day?
Mom: Either? What are you most anticipating about Christmas in general? Certainly she wouldn't be anticipating opening pjs on Christmas eve more than seeing what Santa brings right? But I guess I shouldn't suggest what she should anticipate most.
Annie: I am most looking forward to giving Lauren and Sabrina their presents. They are going to LOVE them!
A memory flashes in my mind of a 4 year old Annie the Christmas of 2007 (our only Christmas with Camille) and Annie being over the top excited as each person opened her gift. "You are going to LOVE it! You are going to LOVE it!" she screamed each time jumping up and down. I shouldn't be surprised that the part of Christmas she is most anticipating is giving her gifts.
And I am excited to wake up and go downstairs singing the song.
She too loves the tradition of gathering in Mom and Dad's room in the morning and all going down to the Christmas tree and all the gifts and stockings singing "Here Come Santa Claus" just as I did as a child.
And I am anxious to see what the boys will get so I can see how hard it will be to clean up.
Here she shoots me one of her looks. It says "you know it's true."
Because you know whatever they get they are going to make a mess with it and then we will have to clean it up. So if they get something that is easy to clean up... that will be good and I will like it. If they get something with lots of little pieces... I will not like it, because we both know I will be cleaning it up all the time.
Now I am just smiling. Huge smiling. My heart is smiling, my face is smiling. It is true. She will be cleaning it up. So will I. So will her sisters. And hopefully one day so will the boys. Something tells me she isn't going to like very many of the boys presents. There are a couple sets of Duplos and Hot Wheels in those packages.
Even more, I am smiling because this is the end of her list of what she is anticipating most about Christmas and she hasn't even thought to include any presents for herself. What a rare child this one is. Sometimes conversations like this remind me of how unusual she is for a child and it just makes me smile.
Mom: So Annie, what are you most looking forward to about Christmas, gifts under the tree? Surprise gifts? Santa gifts? Those were always the things I most anticipated.
Annie: You mean on Christmas eve or Christmas day?
Mom: Either? What are you most anticipating about Christmas in general? Certainly she wouldn't be anticipating opening pjs on Christmas eve more than seeing what Santa brings right? But I guess I shouldn't suggest what she should anticipate most.
Annie: I am most looking forward to giving Lauren and Sabrina their presents. They are going to LOVE them!
A memory flashes in my mind of a 4 year old Annie the Christmas of 2007 (our only Christmas with Camille) and Annie being over the top excited as each person opened her gift. "You are going to LOVE it! You are going to LOVE it!" she screamed each time jumping up and down. I shouldn't be surprised that the part of Christmas she is most anticipating is giving her gifts.
And I am excited to wake up and go downstairs singing the song.
She too loves the tradition of gathering in Mom and Dad's room in the morning and all going down to the Christmas tree and all the gifts and stockings singing "Here Come Santa Claus" just as I did as a child.
And I am anxious to see what the boys will get so I can see how hard it will be to clean up.
Here she shoots me one of her looks. It says "you know it's true."
Because you know whatever they get they are going to make a mess with it and then we will have to clean it up. So if they get something that is easy to clean up... that will be good and I will like it. If they get something with lots of little pieces... I will not like it, because we both know I will be cleaning it up all the time.
Annie cleaning up the boys train tracks tonight trying to give me that look but not quite able to reproduce it.
Even more, I am smiling because this is the end of her list of what she is anticipating most about Christmas and she hasn't even thought to include any presents for herself. What a rare child this one is. Sometimes conversations like this remind me of how unusual she is for a child and it just makes me smile.
Help Newtown Families
Remember a few years ago when I did that auction for Emily Jones on this blog? Her husband passed away in after getting stuck in the Nutty Puddy caves over the Thanksgiving weekend. That was the best Christmas I can remember because of how much I felt the giving spirit.
Well a fellow angel mom, Ashley Sullenger, turned me on to a an auction for the families of the children from Sandy Hook Elementary. It is on Tiffany's blog HERE. But it is only up till Dec. 26th so go over there and bid if you can. They have great stuff.
I got a few emails from my sister in law Rachel this morning. Remember my angel tree?
It is filled with angels all of you sent me the Christmas after Camille died. The one in Ann Marie's hand was handmade by my sister in law Rachel. That year she made one for each of her siblings and gave them their "Camille angel ornaments" for their Christmas present. Each year they put their ornaments up and remember my baby girl.
Well one of Rachel's sisters live near Newtown, Connecticut. She is in the same stake (a church name for a unit of our church that is made up of about 10 congregations) as Emily Parker's family. Emily was a 6 year old victim in the shooting.
Rachel's sister was inspired by my tree and organized a group of people to make and donate angels to the Parker family. They made so many ornaments that they decorated trees in the primary room at church, a tree at the fire house, and they sent a bunch of ornaments to Utah for Emily's funeral.
Here are a few photos Rachel sent me. Thanks to all those who worked on this project. I know what a treasure these angels will be in the future.
Well a fellow angel mom, Ashley Sullenger, turned me on to a an auction for the families of the children from Sandy Hook Elementary. It is on Tiffany's blog HERE. But it is only up till Dec. 26th so go over there and bid if you can. They have great stuff.
I got a few emails from my sister in law Rachel this morning. Remember my angel tree?
It is filled with angels all of you sent me the Christmas after Camille died. The one in Ann Marie's hand was handmade by my sister in law Rachel. That year she made one for each of her siblings and gave them their "Camille angel ornaments" for their Christmas present. Each year they put their ornaments up and remember my baby girl.
Well one of Rachel's sisters live near Newtown, Connecticut. She is in the same stake (a church name for a unit of our church that is made up of about 10 congregations) as Emily Parker's family. Emily was a 6 year old victim in the shooting.
Rachel's sister was inspired by my tree and organized a group of people to make and donate angels to the Parker family. They made so many ornaments that they decorated trees in the primary room at church, a tree at the fire house, and they sent a bunch of ornaments to Utah for Emily's funeral.
Here are a few photos Rachel sent me. Thanks to all those who worked on this project. I know what a treasure these angels will be in the future.
Primary room (Childrens classroom at Emily's church)
Firehouse Tree
Angel tree at the funeral.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
The Worth of One
Today I got a little birthday present in the mail from my sister in law Nikki. It has touched my heart. A few months ago, Nikki called me to tell me about a friend of her sister's whose little girl had drowned. I got this woman's information and emailed her. After a while she emailed me back and we started corresponding.
I had the pleasure of meeting Jill and her lovely family soon after. Her daughter was one year old and named Penny. Jill and friends started a Penny drive in her daughter's memory. They made and sold beautiful jewelry made from pennies.
Today I as I opened my present I found a necklace made from a penny similar to one Jill gave me when we met. I love it. I love both of them. Then I read the card Jill included with the necklace (on the back of the card with the deer that reads "as the deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God" Psalm 42:1) and I was touched by that heavenly teaching spirit of understanding. I have come to believe through my experiences with this blog that I heard the whisper of sweet Penny Thomas helping me understand the worth of ONE in a whole new way.
I wanted to share Jill's note with you. It reads as follows:
Pennies for Penny
thank you for taking part in "pennies for penny." as penny's mother i knew the second that i held her in my arms that she was special, she was divine. as her family we loved and we cherished her every second. we knew then that she was a gift from god and we held her so close. in her little life, she taught so many. she left us lessons of love, simplicity, peace, family, gratitude, and service. it is because of penny that i wanted to be even closer to my heavenly father. i have learned through her, that this life is not the end. i knew this before, however, it is more real to me than ever, this life is not the end! this deeper understanding has caused me to want to focus more on what is important in this life...family and the gospel of jesus christ. i want to be a better christian, a better mother to these divine children that god has given me for a short time. i want to serve more and teach others that they are too children of a merciful heavenly father. i used to throw away pennies, however, the power of 1 cent has a new meaning to me. penny was just 1, but she left a mark in the world worth much more! please wear this as a reminder of my penny, of her life and what she taught. "the worth of souls is great in the site of god" d&c 18:10 all my love, Jill Thomas
Thank you Jill for the note. Thank you Penny for teaching me. Camille was also just 1. Too often we do not recognize the worth of the one. I know the worth of my one to me.
May we keep in our hearts the worth of the little ones at this season when we celebrate the birth of The One.
I had the pleasure of meeting Jill and her lovely family soon after. Her daughter was one year old and named Penny. Jill and friends started a Penny drive in her daughter's memory. They made and sold beautiful jewelry made from pennies.
Today I as I opened my present I found a necklace made from a penny similar to one Jill gave me when we met. I love it. I love both of them. Then I read the card Jill included with the necklace (on the back of the card with the deer that reads "as the deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God" Psalm 42:1) and I was touched by that heavenly teaching spirit of understanding. I have come to believe through my experiences with this blog that I heard the whisper of sweet Penny Thomas helping me understand the worth of ONE in a whole new way.
I wanted to share Jill's note with you. It reads as follows:
Pennies for Penny
thank you for taking part in "pennies for penny." as penny's mother i knew the second that i held her in my arms that she was special, she was divine. as her family we loved and we cherished her every second. we knew then that she was a gift from god and we held her so close. in her little life, she taught so many. she left us lessons of love, simplicity, peace, family, gratitude, and service. it is because of penny that i wanted to be even closer to my heavenly father. i have learned through her, that this life is not the end. i knew this before, however, it is more real to me than ever, this life is not the end! this deeper understanding has caused me to want to focus more on what is important in this life...family and the gospel of jesus christ. i want to be a better christian, a better mother to these divine children that god has given me for a short time. i want to serve more and teach others that they are too children of a merciful heavenly father. i used to throw away pennies, however, the power of 1 cent has a new meaning to me. penny was just 1, but she left a mark in the world worth much more! please wear this as a reminder of my penny, of her life and what she taught. "the worth of souls is great in the site of god" d&c 18:10 all my love, Jill Thomas
Thank you Jill for the note. Thank you Penny for teaching me. Camille was also just 1. Too often we do not recognize the worth of the one. I know the worth of my one to me.
May we keep in our hearts the worth of the little ones at this season when we celebrate the birth of The One.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Life Keeps Going
"And it came to pass..."
That is the beginning of so many scriptures. When my children are little like Noble and just learning to repeat scriptures when we read as a family, they assume that every verse starts that way. When it is his turn he would say "and it came to pass ..." and then wait to see what I told him the rest says.
We often over look these words, but like all words in scripture, they have meaning beyond what we initially see.
We live in a temporal world where all things come to pass. We do not stay in one moment forever. Some things last longer than others but all of them come to pass. It is a phrase that gives hope to me. When I feel overwhelmed or worried about something I am dealing with, I remember with hope that it will come to pass.
The bar exam will come to pass. I will study and work and stress and do my best and then I will take it and it will be done.
I am speaking at a Relief Society (our church's women's organization) meeting this week. I prepared my remarks last night and timed them out. I had a hard time saying them aloud (it is an emotional subject for me ... angels among us.) I hope it will go well and that I will be able to speak understandably. But one way or another I find peace knowing that whether I do well or not it will come to pass.
Yesterday was my 38th birthday. It came to pass. I am happy to have a clean kitchen and soft skin that was pampered by my girls at their home spa complete with use of new spa products they got me for my birthday. They put me in a warm bath with soft music playing and candlelight and blew bubbles over me and put bath fizzies in the water. Then they got me out and put me on a bed of rugs and towels on the floor and put hot towels over me and massaged lotion into my back, feet, legs, and arms. I enjoyed every minute of it and locked it as deeply into my memory as I could because I knew that it too was right then ... coming to pass.
Even incredible heartache comes to pass. They say it doesn't ever leave you. I can't say it has left me ... that heartache of losing a child. It has changed and is far more bearable. But it hasn't left. I imagine it won't completely pass in this life. But it will come to pass. One day I will be reunited with my Camille. I believe this heartache then shall pass and be replaced by a joy unimaginable to me now.
I pray for that same hope to eventually come to those who are so fresh in their grief now. I hope that someday this will be a chapter in the book of their life (granted a pivotal chapter that changes the story but just a chapter) not their whole life.
I feel the pages turning in my life story book. I feel chapters ending and new ones beginning. It is an exciting and scary thing. So for now I am just trying to relish the moment I am in because I know it is coming to pass.
That is the beginning of so many scriptures. When my children are little like Noble and just learning to repeat scriptures when we read as a family, they assume that every verse starts that way. When it is his turn he would say "and it came to pass ..." and then wait to see what I told him the rest says.
We often over look these words, but like all words in scripture, they have meaning beyond what we initially see.
We live in a temporal world where all things come to pass. We do not stay in one moment forever. Some things last longer than others but all of them come to pass. It is a phrase that gives hope to me. When I feel overwhelmed or worried about something I am dealing with, I remember with hope that it will come to pass.
The bar exam will come to pass. I will study and work and stress and do my best and then I will take it and it will be done.
I am speaking at a Relief Society (our church's women's organization) meeting this week. I prepared my remarks last night and timed them out. I had a hard time saying them aloud (it is an emotional subject for me ... angels among us.) I hope it will go well and that I will be able to speak understandably. But one way or another I find peace knowing that whether I do well or not it will come to pass.
Yesterday was my 38th birthday. It came to pass. I am happy to have a clean kitchen and soft skin that was pampered by my girls at their home spa complete with use of new spa products they got me for my birthday. They put me in a warm bath with soft music playing and candlelight and blew bubbles over me and put bath fizzies in the water. Then they got me out and put me on a bed of rugs and towels on the floor and put hot towels over me and massaged lotion into my back, feet, legs, and arms. I enjoyed every minute of it and locked it as deeply into my memory as I could because I knew that it too was right then ... coming to pass.
Even incredible heartache comes to pass. They say it doesn't ever leave you. I can't say it has left me ... that heartache of losing a child. It has changed and is far more bearable. But it hasn't left. I imagine it won't completely pass in this life. But it will come to pass. One day I will be reunited with my Camille. I believe this heartache then shall pass and be replaced by a joy unimaginable to me now.
I pray for that same hope to eventually come to those who are so fresh in their grief now. I hope that someday this will be a chapter in the book of their life (granted a pivotal chapter that changes the story but just a chapter) not their whole life.
I feel the pages turning in my life story book. I feel chapters ending and new ones beginning. It is an exciting and scary thing. So for now I am just trying to relish the moment I am in because I know it is coming to pass.
2012 Family Photo
Friday, December 14, 2012
Heartbroken
I am just sick for all those families in Connecticut who are entering this terrible time of grief and pain. I hurt for them in a very personal and knowing way.
Prayers for these families...
Prayers for these families...
Monday, December 10, 2012
Still here
I am still living over here. :) I have just been struggling to balance mothering and studying for the bar and putting on Christmas and trying to keep the mess in my house from taking over my life.
Mostly the house and blogging have gotten the short end of that stick.
The kids are great. I am savor inch them. I have panic attacks for the boys safety nearly daily. My mind is too knowing and imaginative about so many possible dangers. But they are such good and loving little guys that they melt my heart.
The girls are growing and becoming in all sorts of wonderful ways. It is exciting to see them develop talents and challenge themselves in new areas.
Best of all, my heart is warmed this season by the best gift my children could give me, their love for each other. I love that we went through all the work of clearing out a room so Sabrina could have her own room this summer and for the last month or more the girls are all sleeping together again by choice. Tonight they are snuggled together in Sabrina's bed and trundle.
I love that noble and Harrison have such obvious delight in each others company. This brings great happiness to my soul.
May we All be looking for these greatest gifts this season!
Mostly the house and blogging have gotten the short end of that stick.
The kids are great. I am savor inch them. I have panic attacks for the boys safety nearly daily. My mind is too knowing and imaginative about so many possible dangers. But they are such good and loving little guys that they melt my heart.
The girls are growing and becoming in all sorts of wonderful ways. It is exciting to see them develop talents and challenge themselves in new areas.
Best of all, my heart is warmed this season by the best gift my children could give me, their love for each other. I love that we went through all the work of clearing out a room so Sabrina could have her own room this summer and for the last month or more the girls are all sleeping together again by choice. Tonight they are snuggled together in Sabrina's bed and trundle.
I love that noble and Harrison have such obvious delight in each others company. This brings great happiness to my soul.
May we All be looking for these greatest gifts this season!
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Grateful days 23-25
Ok so day 22 was yams. I am grateful for my grandma Lucile who turned them into one of my favorite foods,
Day 23- I am grateful for my parents who celebrate their 45th wedding anniversary this week. Thanks for staying together even when it wasn't easy and for teaching me what a real marriage looks like, the work it takes to make it last, and teaching me the beauty and love of true commitment.
Day 24 - I am thankful for my husbands small business and those who shop at our stores. Your patronage feeds my family and the families of the 25 or so others that we employ. Thank you for supporting small businesses!
Day 25- I am thankful for all of you who sent us angels for our Camille angel tree. I feel so loved every year when I unpack these precious angels to put on her tree. I know she is near tonight. Noble called every angel ornament a sister ornament. Thank you for giving me a physical way to bring my baby home for Christmas!
Day 23- I am grateful for my parents who celebrate their 45th wedding anniversary this week. Thanks for staying together even when it wasn't easy and for teaching me what a real marriage looks like, the work it takes to make it last, and teaching me the beauty and love of true commitment.
Day 24 - I am thankful for my husbands small business and those who shop at our stores. Your patronage feeds my family and the families of the 25 or so others that we employ. Thank you for supporting small businesses!
Day 25- I am thankful for all of you who sent us angels for our Camille angel tree. I feel so loved every year when I unpack these precious angels to put on her tree. I know she is near tonight. Noble called every angel ornament a sister ornament. Thank you for giving me a physical way to bring my baby home for Christmas!
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Candied yams
I am blogging this on my phone so the photos are going to be at the bottom. I'll go back and fix it later. But in case anyone wants to make the best yams ever... Even if you don't like yams, you will probably like these. They are more candy than yam.
First step: boil the yams. Put whole yams in a pot, cover with water and boil till a fork goes in easily but not till mushy. That takes 30-60 minutes depending on how thick your yams are.
Use a fork to take yams out and let them cool. When they are cool enough to handle. Remove the skins. The skin will just come right off with your fingers.
Slice the yams about 1/2-3/4 inch thick. You can do this length wise or in circles or both.
Spray Pam in a baking dish. Layer the slices of yam in a single layer on the bottom of the dish. Make it fit like a puzzle so there is very little space where the bottom of the dish can be seen.
Sprinkle with salt. Take a handful of brown sugar and sprinkle it over the yams distributing evenly. Place pats of butter every few inches. (See photos).
Add another layer of yams, salt, brown sugar, and butter. Again fit the yams together as tight as you can but don't overlap.
Add a third (or fourth) layer if you have enough yams. Three layers is optimal.
Put in the oven at 375 for an hour then turn heat down to 275 and cook for 2 more hours. Basically, you want the yams to turn a burnt orange color. Cooking for a long time "candies" the yams so the get chewy on the ends like candy. That is my favorite part.
Today I made 10#s of yams and used 2 sticks of butter and less than half a bag of brown sugar. I can't wait to put these back in the oven tomorrow to candy a little more while they reheat.
Trust me, marshmallows are totally unnecessary! These taste even better than they look!
First step: boil the yams. Put whole yams in a pot, cover with water and boil till a fork goes in easily but not till mushy. That takes 30-60 minutes depending on how thick your yams are.
Slice the yams about 1/2-3/4 inch thick. You can do this length wise or in circles or both.
Spray Pam in a baking dish. Layer the slices of yam in a single layer on the bottom of the dish. Make it fit like a puzzle so there is very little space where the bottom of the dish can be seen.
Sprinkle with salt. Take a handful of brown sugar and sprinkle it over the yams distributing evenly. Place pats of butter every few inches. (See photos).
Add another layer of yams, salt, brown sugar, and butter. Again fit the yams together as tight as you can but don't overlap.
Add a third (or fourth) layer if you have enough yams. Three layers is optimal.
Today I made 10#s of yams and used 2 sticks of butter and less than half a bag of brown sugar. I can't wait to put these back in the oven tomorrow to candy a little more while they reheat.
Trust me, marshmallows are totally unnecessary! These taste even better than they look!
Yummy Food
I am grateful for yummy food and to come from a long line of people on both sides of my family who can cook some of the best food I have ever had. I am looking forward to eating Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. :) We are going to my in-laws and I am bringing my favorite dishes from my families recipes (my grandmothers yams, and Grandma Garff, my brother's wifes family, rolls.) My sister in law is going to try to recreate my dad's stuffing.
I might also make a couple of other family favorites like my grandmother's banana cream pie or my aunt Shelba's lemon meringue or seafoam salad (green jello with pears cream cheese and whipped cream.)
Last night I whipped up an experimental dinner. My kids love my homemade pancakes. Last night I decided to see how we could make them a little more festive and maybe even sneak a bit of veggies in there too. So I make pumpkin pancakes. I also added white chocolate chips to some of them for an extra treat.
Okay so maybe not the healthiest dinner ever but everyone ate well last night. Anyway, they turned out really good so I thought I would share the recipe.
Pumpkin Pancakes
2t baking powder
2t baking soda
2 eggs
2T sugar
Whisk together then add:
2 cups sour cream
2 cups buttermilk
1 small can pumpkin
1/2t ground cloves
1t cinnamon
1/2t ground nutmeg
Whisk then add:
2 1/3 cups flour
Add more flour or buttermilk as needed to get the right consistency.
Cook on a griddle. Toss some white chocolate chips on top before turning over if you like.
I like them best with just a little butter and a dusting of regular sugar. Yummy!
I might also make a couple of other family favorites like my grandmother's banana cream pie or my aunt Shelba's lemon meringue or seafoam salad (green jello with pears cream cheese and whipped cream.)
Last night I whipped up an experimental dinner. My kids love my homemade pancakes. Last night I decided to see how we could make them a little more festive and maybe even sneak a bit of veggies in there too. So I make pumpkin pancakes. I also added white chocolate chips to some of them for an extra treat.
Okay so maybe not the healthiest dinner ever but everyone ate well last night. Anyway, they turned out really good so I thought I would share the recipe.
Pumpkin Pancakes
2t baking powder
2t baking soda
2 eggs
2T sugar
Whisk together then add:
2 cups sour cream
2 cups buttermilk
1 small can pumpkin
1/2t ground cloves
1t cinnamon
1/2t ground nutmeg
Whisk then add:
2 1/3 cups flour
Add more flour or buttermilk as needed to get the right consistency.
Cook on a griddle. Toss some white chocolate chips on top before turning over if you like.
I like them best with just a little butter and a dusting of regular sugar. Yummy!
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
the Big Mac Post
This post is going to be a like a Big Mac. You know how they have the 3 buns. Well my buns in this post will be my gratitude days. And I have a little meat to put in here too.
18- I am grateful for my husband. He is faithful and hard working and fun among many other things. I can't enumerate all the ways I am grateful for him. But perhaps above them all is how grateful I am for how well he loves me. He always makes me feel beautiful and accomplished and smart and of great worth. I aspire to show him my love half as well as he shows his love to me. Thank you Jonathan. I love you.
Meat- I often think people would be rather shocked if they knew how often I think of, miss, and feel the loss of my sweet girl now 4.5 years later. I know that I could never have anticipated feeling this longing and having her so at the forefront of my mind even 4 years ago.
I think of her every day- multiple times a day. I feel my love for my kids double, once for them and once for her. I am savoring Harrison in his cute little toddlerhood, but a big part of me will be very glad to have him reach an age where I worry less for his physical safety. I know there is never an age of complete safety there, but I will be relieved to have the risks of choking, drowning, falling down stairs, escaping the house, or "running away" be so overpowering to me. I still have a few of those anxieties with Noble. He likes to hide from me and it kills me.
19- I am grateful for the spiritual growth and learning I have experienced from my trial. I am grateful for the help or inspiration our story has been to others. I am grateful there are people out there who are kinder to the their kids or appreciate their children more because of our experience.
Meat - The truth is that sometimes life feels heavy. Sometimes our trials in this mortal reality seem overwhelming and never ending. They weigh on our minds and hearts like bricks of sorrow or worry. The Lord knew we would have these trials in life. It is part of the plan to experience pain and suffering of all kinds here on Earth. But He loves us and wants to help us.
The truth is that the gospel does help. It didn't feel like my knowledge of the gospel helped at all in those early months of pain and grief. And to a degree, nothing really helps in those hardest days. You feel too much pain for any balm to help. But the truth is that my knowledge of the gospel plan gives me a source for comfort in the Savior and a perspective of eternity. This perspective helps me to understand what is most important in my life and the true timetable of my trials.
My trials are not forever. Even those that will last my whole life will still only seem a short time in the expanse of eternity. One day at a time I can make it through the most difficult of times. The Lord always gives us periods of respite from the storms of our trials. My goal is Eternal life. Any hardship I encounter, and obstacle that I may face is just a mountain I must climb on my journey there. It will not alter my course.
20- I am grateful for the Savior Jesus Christ and for the gospel He teaches us. I use that word in the present tense because He did not stop teaching when He died. He teaches me still. I feel the Spirit of God teaching my soul as I read and ponder the scriptures and work in following promptings or impressions that come to my mind.
I am grateful for the peace and hope He gives. Again I use the present tense. He brings me peace in my storms. He gives me hope when I feel there is none. There is always Hope in Christ. He is the Author and Finisher of our hope.
I am beyond grateful for His atonement. I am purchased. I am all in. I am indebted beyond any ability to repay. I am His to use or mold or try as He sees fit.
I am grateful to know where I stand with the Lord. An indebted, purchased, beloved daughter and once in a while, when I am really blessed, a tool in His hand.
18- I am grateful for my husband. He is faithful and hard working and fun among many other things. I can't enumerate all the ways I am grateful for him. But perhaps above them all is how grateful I am for how well he loves me. He always makes me feel beautiful and accomplished and smart and of great worth. I aspire to show him my love half as well as he shows his love to me. Thank you Jonathan. I love you.
Meat- I often think people would be rather shocked if they knew how often I think of, miss, and feel the loss of my sweet girl now 4.5 years later. I know that I could never have anticipated feeling this longing and having her so at the forefront of my mind even 4 years ago.
I think of her every day- multiple times a day. I feel my love for my kids double, once for them and once for her. I am savoring Harrison in his cute little toddlerhood, but a big part of me will be very glad to have him reach an age where I worry less for his physical safety. I know there is never an age of complete safety there, but I will be relieved to have the risks of choking, drowning, falling down stairs, escaping the house, or "running away" be so overpowering to me. I still have a few of those anxieties with Noble. He likes to hide from me and it kills me.
19- I am grateful for the spiritual growth and learning I have experienced from my trial. I am grateful for the help or inspiration our story has been to others. I am grateful there are people out there who are kinder to the their kids or appreciate their children more because of our experience.
Meat - The truth is that sometimes life feels heavy. Sometimes our trials in this mortal reality seem overwhelming and never ending. They weigh on our minds and hearts like bricks of sorrow or worry. The Lord knew we would have these trials in life. It is part of the plan to experience pain and suffering of all kinds here on Earth. But He loves us and wants to help us.
The truth is that the gospel does help. It didn't feel like my knowledge of the gospel helped at all in those early months of pain and grief. And to a degree, nothing really helps in those hardest days. You feel too much pain for any balm to help. But the truth is that my knowledge of the gospel plan gives me a source for comfort in the Savior and a perspective of eternity. This perspective helps me to understand what is most important in my life and the true timetable of my trials.
My trials are not forever. Even those that will last my whole life will still only seem a short time in the expanse of eternity. One day at a time I can make it through the most difficult of times. The Lord always gives us periods of respite from the storms of our trials. My goal is Eternal life. Any hardship I encounter, and obstacle that I may face is just a mountain I must climb on my journey there. It will not alter my course.
20- I am grateful for the Savior Jesus Christ and for the gospel He teaches us. I use that word in the present tense because He did not stop teaching when He died. He teaches me still. I feel the Spirit of God teaching my soul as I read and ponder the scriptures and work in following promptings or impressions that come to my mind.
I am grateful for the peace and hope He gives. Again I use the present tense. He brings me peace in my storms. He gives me hope when I feel there is none. There is always Hope in Christ. He is the Author and Finisher of our hope.
I am beyond grateful for His atonement. I am purchased. I am all in. I am indebted beyond any ability to repay. I am His to use or mold or try as He sees fit.
I am grateful to know where I stand with the Lord. An indebted, purchased, beloved daughter and once in a while, when I am really blessed, a tool in His hand.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Grateful day 17
As always, I am grateful for my dad today. It is his 76th birthday. He is far away in Africa but I am just grateful he is alive and kicking. I am so grateful that even though he is on the other side of the world, he is never more than a phone call away.
Love you dad!
Love you dad!
Friday, November 16, 2012
Grateful day 15 & 16
15- I wrote a whole thing on how grateful I am for my obedient and loving Sabrina and my blogger app deleted it! Be it known that I am so grateful for Sabrina and how she obeys even when she doesn't want to and hates me for making her do things. And I am very grateful that as soon as she does them she loves me again. I love that she is not a grudge holder!
16- I am grateful for my mental capacity, limited though it may be. Wrote about this too and how grateful I am to e learning again as I study for the bar. Also was deleted by my app.
So not very grateful for my blogger app deleting my much nicer post tonight but still am grateful for my final bedfellow while dad was away - Sabrina- and for my brains.
16- I am grateful for my mental capacity, limited though it may be. Wrote about this too and how grateful I am to e learning again as I study for the bar. Also was deleted by my app.
So not very grateful for my blogger app deleting my much nicer post tonight but still am grateful for my final bedfellow while dad was away - Sabrina- and for my brains.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Grateful day 14
Today I am thankful for my mini me--Lauren. She is kid number 3 just like me and she deals with both the big kids and the little kids really well. She is a smart little girl who loves to take care of people. She loves to teach me new things and loves science.
I am grateful for her help with her brothers and her love of the "I'd love to" jar that keeps me hearing those lovely words daily. I don't know what I would do without my lala to make me smile and laugh. I sure am thankful to be her mama!
I am grateful for her help with her brothers and her love of the "I'd love to" jar that keeps me hearing those lovely words daily. I don't know what I would do without my lala to make me smile and laugh. I sure am thankful to be her mama!
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Grateful days 11, 12, & 13
Day 11- I am thankful for all our service men and women naturally. Just for varieties sake I will add that I am thankful for the brave passengers of flight 93 that crashed in PA on 9/11. Their sacrifice is not forgotten by me. I am grateful for their brave decision to do whatever necessary to keep the terrorists from using their flight as a bomb to attack another icon of American freedom. Thank you!
12- good friends who showed up to Sabrina's bake sale and hot her half way to her girls camp goal.
13- I am grateful for Annie. She is sleeping with me tonight as Jon is out of town. She helped restore my sanity tonight by cleaning up the downstairs after my big cook. Her sisters helped but Annie was the most diligent about it. I love this uber talented little girl! I am grateful to be her mother!
12- good friends who showed up to Sabrina's bake sale and hot her half way to her girls camp goal.
13- I am grateful for Annie. She is sleeping with me tonight as Jon is out of town. She helped restore my sanity tonight by cleaning up the downstairs after my big cook. Her sisters helped but Annie was the most diligent about it. I love this uber talented little girl! I am grateful to be her mother!
Monday, November 12, 2012
Bake sale
Sabrina had a bake sale today to raise money for camp. Here is my favorite thing she sold.
Reese's Puffs Treats
8 cups mini marshmallows
3T butter
11 cups Reese's Puffs cereal
12-16 regular size Reese's peanut butter cups
Melt butter and marshmallows over med heat on stove. Turn off heat and add cereal. Mix well. Put in a 9x13 sprayed pan. Put a peanut butter cup on each treat. Press down with press and seal and put in fridge to cool.
Remove press and seal, cut and serve!
Reese's Puffs Treats
8 cups mini marshmallows
3T butter
11 cups Reese's Puffs cereal
12-16 regular size Reese's peanut butter cups
Melt butter and marshmallows over med heat on stove. Turn off heat and add cereal. Mix well. Put in a 9x13 sprayed pan. Put a peanut butter cup on each treat. Press down with press and seal and put in fridge to cool.
Remove press and seal, cut and serve!
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Grateful days 9 & 10
9- I am grateful to have girls first. Last night I put the boys to bed and went to the movies with Jonathan. I told Sabrina she couldn't have the tv on till she and her sisters picked up the family room and kitchen area.
When I got home the whole house upstairs and down (except the boys rooms) was clean. I guess Lauren did the whole upstairs and Sabrina did the downstairs. Annie was at dance while they were cleaning.
I love those girls and I am so thankful for all their help.
10- I am thankful to live near and be able to attend the temple. That place is Heaven's embassy to Earth. So grateful for the promises that come from making and keeping covenants there. Families are eternal units of society. They do not have to last only till death parts us. I am so grateful to be sealed to my family eternally.
When I got home the whole house upstairs and down (except the boys rooms) was clean. I guess Lauren did the whole upstairs and Sabrina did the downstairs. Annie was at dance while they were cleaning.
I love those girls and I am so thankful for all their help.
10- I am thankful to live near and be able to attend the temple. That place is Heaven's embassy to Earth. So grateful for the promises that come from making and keeping covenants there. Families are eternal units of society. They do not have to last only till death parts us. I am so grateful to be sealed to my family eternally.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Grateful day 8
Today Noble said our dinner prayer. He prayed that we could keep the Spirit in our home and that Cami could come visit us often. He is three.
I am grateful that my three year old who never lived on this earth with his sister Camille "gets it." I am so thankful that he knows Camille is still very much a part of our family and that she always will be.
Here he is all dressed for church.
I am grateful that my three year old who never lived on this earth with his sister Camille "gets it." I am so thankful that he knows Camille is still very much a part of our family and that she always will be.
Here he is all dressed for church.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Grateful Day 7
Today is a good day to focus on our blessings. The reality is that every one of us in this country is richly blessed. We all have our various burdens. Sometimes those burdens feel so very crushing and overpower our strength. But even in those times of depression and feeling forsaken, we are still actually enjoying blessings that we are too weighed down to notice or appreciate at the time.
I am grateful today for my testimony and witness - actually the numerous witnesses I have had - that tell me God is always mindful of me and of all his children. He allows us to choose, but his hand is always stretched out even when we choose poorly. I know He is real. I know He is mindful of me. I know that no matter what comes, no matter what burdens I am asked to bear, He will be there to help me through it. For that knowledge, I am most profoundly grateful.
I am grateful today for my testimony and witness - actually the numerous witnesses I have had - that tell me God is always mindful of me and of all his children. He allows us to choose, but his hand is always stretched out even when we choose poorly. I know He is real. I know He is mindful of me. I know that no matter what comes, no matter what burdens I am asked to bear, He will be there to help me through it. For that knowledge, I am most profoundly grateful.
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