Oh I am sure I have crossed paths with this family. Their oldest child and my Annie were in the same grade at the same school and both on the cheer team together. But they were never in the same class. We were never in the same ward. Still somehow their loss this last weekend hit me hard today.
A few months ago my best friend had told me about a friend of hers who found out she had cancer, a mother of 5 young children aged 11 to 1. After spending the last couple of months feeling pretty good despite getting treated for the cancer, she passed away rather suddenly this Saturday, three days before her 33rd birthday.
There have been a few times in my life where I am keenly aware that I am literally fulfilling my baptismal covenant to "mourn with those who mourn" or "comfort those who stand in need of comfort." I am not sure how much comforting I could do for this sweet family who is aching for their mama, but this morning, I was mourning with them... for them.
I am fortunate to still have my own sweet Mama with me on this Earth. What a blessing she is to me! But, as a Mama myself, I know what it is to be separated by the veil of death from your baby girl. And today I was feeling for this Mama and most especially for her daughter.
I cried grief ridden tears on their behalf. I felt the injustice of and anger and pain of loss that came to me early in my own grief only this time under the umbrella of their loss. By the time I said my prayer on my breakfast, I was unable to speak in audible words. So halfway through, after saying grace for my food, I prayed silently, fervently, for this family.
And an amazing thing happened. I felt the Spirit wash over me in a stillness and peace that was both powerful and undeniable. I felt the anger leave and a whispering in my soul told me all was as it was meant to be. Where everything in me was yelling the opposite and that surely God didn't need a young mother of 5 small children, I felt that somehow this was all part of a Master Plan. And I felt that this family will be okay.
Then I prayed that they would be able to feel that comfort I had just felt through the powerful emotions of grief. I remember how hard it was to feel comforted in those early days of overwhelming, crippling grief. I prayed that this family, each one of them, would feel that peace that is so life sustaining at such a time. I will keep praying for that and for them.
In this day of mourning for those that mourn, I have discovered that doing so is one powerful way to keep the flames of a searingly powerful spiritual experience fresh in our hearts and minds. Perhaps that is one of the many reasons we are commanded to do so.
Tonight after reading my scriptures, I decided to do a little extra and read a talk from last April's General Conference. Is it any coincidence that I randomly chose Elder Nelson's talk "Let Your Faith Show" in which he talked about his own sweet daughter Emily, mother of five, who died of cancer? I think not. His talk spoke directly to my heart. Allow me to end by quoting some of it here.
"When
we speak of faith—the faith that can move mountains—we are not speaking
of faith in general but of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Faith in the
Lord Jesus Christ can be bolstered as we learn about Him and live our
religion. The doctrine of Jesus Christ was designed by the Lord to help
us increase our faith. In today’s vernacular, however, the word religion can mean different things to different people.
"Contrast
the fear and faithlessness so prevalent in the world today with the
faith and courage of my dearly beloved daughter Emily, who now lives on
the other side of the veil. As mortal life was leaving her cancer-ridden
body, she could barely speak. But with a smile on her face, she said to
me, 'Daddy, don’t worry about me. I know I will be all right!' Emily’s
faith was showing—showing brightly—in that tender moment, right when we
needed it most.
"This
beautiful young mother of five had full faith in her Heavenly Father,
in His plan, and in the eternal welfare of her family. She was securely
tied back to God. She was totally faithful to covenants made with the
Lord and with her husband. She loved her children but was at peace,
despite her impending separation from them. She had faith in her future,
and theirs too, because she had faith in our Heavenly Father and His
Son.
"In
1986, President Thomas S. Monson said: 'Of course we will face fear,
experience ridicule, and meet opposition. Let us have the courage to
defy the consensus, the courage to stand for principle. Courage, not
compromise, brings the smile of God’s approval. … Remember that all men
have their fears, but those who face their fears with [faith] have
courage as well.'
"President
Monson’s counsel is timeless! So I plead with you, my dear brothers and
sisters: Day after day, on your path toward your eternal destiny,
increase your faith. Proclaim your faith! Let your faith show!
"I
pray that you will be securely tied back to God, that His eternal
truths will be etched on your heart forever. And I pray that, throughout
your life, you will let your faith show! In the name of Jesus Christ,
amen."
