We are going to be seeing a lot more of this face around our house. Today Sabrina and I spent some time at the eye doctor's getting her all set up with new contact lenses. Her eyes are officially worse than mine now (which means she is pretty darn blind.) So now with contacts she will be able to see when she swims with goggles or does other activities that were hard to do with her glasses. I for one am thrilled to get to see her twinkly eyes more easily. I love my Sabrina Lucile's beautiful face.
The other day I was with Sabrina alone. For some reason she had her glasses off. She looked over at me and gave me a big smile and I just looked at her and was stunned by her face. It was SO familiar. I saw so much of myself in it. Sometimes I forget what she looks like behind those glasses. But there are times like this one the other day where I am forcefully reminded of her beautiful familiarity.
Familiarity. What a word. From the same root as family. She is my family, this girl of mine. One look at her face and there is no denying it for me. I see my imprint on her. I see her father's contributions too with her blue eyes and blond curly hair. In one look I can be knocked out by how familiar she is to me.
photos taken before her dance recital on June 5, 2011
I felt this way the moment she was born. The first moment I laid eyes on her tiny, beat up newborn face, it was ... familiar. She looked like me and I loved her instantly.
So in this moment the other day when I was hit with how familiar Sabrina's face was to me I also had another thought float into my mind ... How will it be to see Camille again? After so many years of separation (sometimes she seems almost a dream to me now) will this be what it is like to look into her face then? Will she be so familiar to me that the moment I lay eyes on her I will KNOW she is MINE just by looking at her face?
I hope so. I believe so.
In the Book of Mormon there is a prophet who is preaching to the people named Alma. He asks the congregation: "And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts? ...
I say unto you, can ye look up to God at that day with a pure heart and clean hands? I say unto you, can you look up, having the image of God engraven upon your countenances?"
Thinking of this scripture and my experience with Sabrina and my musings about how it will be to see Camille again I am left to wonder ... Am I familiar to Him? Am I living my life so that He will see Himself in my countenance when he looks at me? Will He KNOW I am HIS just by looking at my face?
I hope so.
