I have been working all day. It has not been a lazy day. I did sleep late but once I got up I started cleaning and doing my "Mom" chores. Usually when I spend this much time cleaning and working, especially considering I do not have a baby to tend or toddler making messes as I clean, I can get LOTS done.
Today I did the following: about 5 loads of laundry washed and dried, 7 folded (I am making the other people in the house put the laundry away), clean and organize the nursery and all baby Noble clothes (I have already done this chore twice, but there were a few more things to put in order), cleaned our small laundry room.
Okay that may seem like alot as I write it down but when you consider that the machine does most of the laundry and I had already organized the nursery so this was just finishing the task, it really didn't feel like much. I did not get the dishes done or the kitchen cleaned like I wanted. I didn't get much of anything done downstairs other than pay a bill or two and make food.
I feel like I am moving in slow motion. Let me revise that -- I am moving in slow motion. I waddle around the house picking up here and there. Things on the ground seem impossible to reach. Small tasks, like going up the stairs, or running to grab the ringing phone are daunting. The scary part is that I have 5 weeks left and it is only going to get worse.
I remember feeling this way with Camille. It got to the point where I just could hardly do anything. I just hurt too bad. Then came the labor. The epidural only worked on half my belly. I had to wait 20 minutes fully dilated for the doctor to show up so I could push. It felt like the pain could never go away. When I finally delivered Camille the contraction pain was immediately gone. I was amazed. It was just so intense one moment and completely gone the next. The next night as we left the hospital with our precious little girl, I told Jon I felt like going dancing. I hadn't felt that good in months.
Maybe that is kinda how life is sometimes. We move in slow motion through the painful parts forgetting how it felt to be able to move free and unhindered. Some pains let up or heal in this life. Others never do. We all finish the "labor" of our life at some point. But in the end we are delivered. We are delivered to the arms of that Father which gave us life. And I have to imagine that all the pain of life is immediately swept away in that embrace.
The thing is, knowing that this pregnancy pain is temporary, I am basking in it. I know the more acutely I feel it, the more "delivered" I will feel when I have Noble in my arms. I don't enjoy the pain, but I do not resent it either. It is simply a part of this beautiful birthing process.
And the emotional pains of our trials are likewise a part of this beautiful living process where we gain experiences that tie us to our Savior and help us find our way to Home and Deliverance.
