Bread and Laundry. Those were the two great accomplishments of the day. I made 7 loaves of homemade 100% whole wheat bread with flour I ground myself just prior to making the bread. I finished washing and sorted and folded a literal mountain of laundry. All told I am sure it was 10 loads worth, though I will admit I lost count.
But those gigantic tasks are not the what I want to remember about this day. I want to remember how cute Lauren did her hair tonight after her shower with a low side ponytail and a little bow up by her temple. I want to remember her telling me that on Saturday after Dad gets up she wants to get an hour with me just to snuggle because she "never" gets time with me.
I want to remember my Ann Marie standing next to Lauren as she told her tale of woe, nodding with drama and flair. I want to remember the play she wrote, complete with stage directions, and asked me to type up so she and her sisters could preform it. I want to remember her grumpy face in the car when I was tickling her arm and telling her not to laugh no matter what.
I want to remember the sound of my son Noble saying "sorry mama!" when ever he does something wrong. The way he says it sounds so much older and so nonchalant. Like "get over it Mama." I love that he says it so readily and without prompting. I want to remember his speech getting so clear and distinct. I want to remember his sentences coming together correctly for the first time and the first time he uses new and big words.
I want to remember watching Sabrina walk out of school and not hearing me calling out to her from my car to wave hello as she headed to her ride to piano and I picked up Lauren to go to dance. I want to remember how engrossed she was in her book, that she just kept on walking, nose in the book, straight ahead without hearing me call her at all. I want to remember spying on her through the window at the end of her piano lesson with her back straight and her hands making lovely music.
I want to remember my little Harrison learning to scoot forward and getting up on hands and knees in an almost crawl. I want to remember his cute smile with spread out teeth and smiling eyes. I want to remember the way he grabs my hair on the back of my head when I hold him on my hip. I want to remember the look on his face at his first bite of mashed potatoes tonight at dinner.
Years will pass and there will always be laundry to wash and sort and fold. I will keep making my bread for years to come. But these miracles living in my house ... they will grow and change and then leave. I want to remember them ... as they are TODAY ... in all their little quirks and cuteness. I want to remember the magic that happens between the bread and laundry.
Tonight I am thankful for this blog and for all those who read it. This blog has been such a tool to help me heal when I have been hurting. And you readers have kept me writing even when I haven't been hurting. The writing keeps me present in my motherhood while creating a history as well. So thank you. Thank you for your prayers and support and love and understanding and thank you for reading and sharing this journey with me.
