Public Crying

So I have been preparing for this workshop I am giving on Saturday. In it I am going to try to read one of my old posts ... out loud. It is the "Inside the Heart" post. It isn't one of my saddest posts. It just illustrates something I want to point out really well. The problem is the whole public sobbing thing.

I still can't read most of my old posts or many of the comments any of you left in those early days without the flood of all that emotion rushing right over me. I can talk about Camille without crying--just not for very long or too in-depth.

I have never heard Stephanie Nielson speak. Have any of you? I mean I guess I have seen her on TV speak but not in person. She seems to hold it together pretty well when she talks about her plane crash and subsequent trials. I am not sure I will be able to do that.

I know I totally lost it the last time I spoke publicly about Camille. I had to stop speaking for what seemed like a full minute or two. I don't mind having emotion in my voice but I really prefer not to get to that level of emotion where my voice goes all high and squeaking and it is difficult to understand what I am saying. You know?

You know the funny thing is that I feel like I did better at the funeral than I do now. Maybe it is because back then I was crying about it all the time so it was a more even flow. Now when I talk about Camille, it is usually after a long time of not having talked about her and the emotion has been storing up in there somewhere.

I am always a little nervous to touch on a subject related to Camille in a public setting. The lessons in church when I bring her up are a little more nerve racking than normal. But those I know will be short points or brief comments in a larger otherwise less emotional subject.

By contrast, this workshop on Saturday, talking about blogging - well my world of blogging is pretty inseparably intertwined with my baby girl. She is the driving force of why I have blogged so faithfully and why anyone outside my family reads my blog.

I just hope I am able to hold it together for most of the two 40 minute workshops I present. Is that too much to ask?

Walking Down Memory Lane

I am speaking at a women's conference across town this Saturday. I will be doing a 40 minute workshop on the positive use of social media. 40 minutes is a long time. Since I will not be going into the technical "how to" part of the subject, I have been looking to fill out the "inspire people to want to use social media in a positive way" side of my own experience.

In so doing I have been reading many of my old posts. I also decided to look for some of the comments that illustrated how this blog has impacted others. 11556 Comments. That is how many total comments I have been looking over. That is the total for the entire 3 years and 9 months I have had this blog going. I have previously read every one of them. But as I have reread some, I have come to realize how hazy my mind was in the early days of my grief.

There are comments from people I didn't remember commenting. I didn't know they knew or I guess I just didn't remember they knew. I have been struck once again by how far reaching a story like mine can travel. It runs down cracks and reaches old forgotten loved ones and new and undiscovered friends.

Raw grief has a way of changing relationships. It destroys some. It creates some. And many it just fundamentally shifts. It has been interesting reading back and seeing some of the early comments from people I didn't not know before all this and who are now some of my closest friends.

Doing all this reading has left tracks of tears down my cheeks as I remember just what was lost on June 13, 2008 and also what I have lost since then. I knew it would happen. I knew that ... "heaven in my home" feeling would not always be so tangible. I knew the day would come when I would get mad at my kids again. But I didn't want it to.

Reading my old posts and many of the comments makes me want to recapture that. I mean, I still do have a greater appreciation for my children than I did before. I absolutely do love and cherish them even when they are naughty or I am having to do one of the dirty jobs of motherhood (diapers, vomit, nasal treasures). It isn't like it was before. But it also isn't the "heaven is right here" feeling I had in the weeks of my raw grief.

I want that back, minus all the searing pain that accompanied it. But then I guess that is one of the main benefits for me personally of having this blog. I can read back and remember. As I do, I can feel it again. And I can recommit to keep it here, now.

I Like Bread and Butter

I took all the kids to breakfast at Bread and Butter this morning. I had a amazing braised short rib and egg sandwich. It was one of the cork board specials. Harrison shared it with me. The meat was so melt in your mouth that even he could eat some.

I also got one of the raspberry donuts to try. It was big. I only expected to take a bite. Yeah. Then I took a bite. Let's just say there wasn't much sharing going on with that donut. I love raspberry and the raspberry filling was the perfect degree of sweet.

Seriously, Chris Herrin is a magic man. I am feeling so fully satisfied by my delicious breakfast I just had to blog about it and tell everyone that I love Bread and Butter!

Donuts

One of Annie's Christmas wishes was for donuts. So Sabrina gave her a donut recipe book and a donut cutter. Last week we busted it out and made some baked raised donuts. They were delicious. I thought I would share the recipe since it was fairly simple.

These are best eaten while still hot.

Baked Raised Donuts:

1 egg
1/4 cup super fine sugar
1 cup whole milk, heated to 115 degrees F
1 T active dry yeast
1 t salt
2 t vanilla extract
2 1/2 -3 1/2 cups flour divided plus more for kneading
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, cut into 1 inch cubes

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat the eggs and sugar on medium speed till blended (about a minute). Add the milk yeast salt and vanilla and stir to blend. With the machine on low speed, add 2 cups of flour about 1/2 a cup at a time and beat till the dough is thick and pulls away from the sides of the bowl.

Switch to the dough hook. With the machine on medium speed add the butter one piece at a time. Beat until no large chunks of butter are left in the bottom of the bowl (3-5 mins). Reduce speed to low and add additional flour until the dough gathers around the hook and cleans the sides of the bowl. It will be soft and moist but not overly sticky.

Turn the dough out onto a flour surface and knead the dough gently till it no longer sticks to your hands. Lightly grease a large mixing bowl. Transfer the dough to the bowl and turn to coat. Cover with a damp tea towel and let rise till doubled in volume (about an hour.)

Punch down the dough and roll to half an in inch thick. Use a doughnut or cookie cutter to cut out 3 inch diameter rounds with 1 inch diameter holes.

Preheat the over to 400 degrees F and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Place the donuts at least an inch apart on the baking sheet. Cover with plastic wrap and let rise in a warm spot till nearly doubled (about 20 mins).

Bake till donuts are light golden brown (5-8 mins) being careful not to over bake them. Immediately brush with butter and sugar or glaze (sugar coated was best). Eat while still warm.

 We had this little bowl full of donut holes. They were SOOO good.

 Just moments later see how much emptier the bowl is?

 I barely got a photo of them before they were gone. I coated them in butter and tossed them in a paper bag with some ultra fine sugar. Seriously these were heavenly little bites.

 Here are our donuts baking in the oven.

 Here are the spoils. We made some glazed - though I thought the glaze was a bit too sugary.

And we did some chocolate. But Sabrina, who took the photos, says they were too chocolatey. Is that even possible? I used dark chocolate powder to make the glaze. Probably why she didn't like it. Well they all got eaten in a matter of hours too.

Let me know what you think if you try these. It makes for a fairly easy and very fun family activity to make them together. Maybe a good FHE activity?

Blessings and Anxiety

I have had a sense of foreboding today. I am not sure why. Sometimes I just feel this unsettled anxiety in the pit of my stomach that makes me a bit nauseas and reminds me of the feeling of the floor being pulled out from under me. It is a recognition of the genuinely fragility of so many routine parts of my life.

I sat in a bath as the hot water filled the tub. I thought about my bathroom and looked at it through the eyes of someone like rich and famous. It is a fairly standard bathroom. We have made no upgrades. It isn't the "spa like" luxury you might find in other homes. It pales in comparison to so many other bathrooms I have seen. It is nothing special.

Then I shifted my paradigm. I sat in that oversized tub and felt the hot water creep up around me. How privileged am I? I am sitting in this overly large comfortable tub. I have running water that comes into it with the turn of a lever -- and the water is hot. I wonder what percent of the worlds population has running water. I wonder of those how many have hot water. I wonder of those how many have tubs. Then I wonder how many of those tubs with hot running water are deep enough to cover an adult with water. I guess there are a very small percentage of the world's population who are so lucky.

At the same time, this foreboding feeling underscores how easily any given blessing can be erased from my life. It stirs my stomach and steals my appetite.

Jonathan and I went to the temple tonight. There I was reminded once again of the ultimate failsafe to this anxiety. In all the worst case scenarios my mind can imagine, somethings stay constant and ultimately bring me peace. No matter what happens or what trials I must face, Jesus is still the Christ. He will still be my Savior. My faith in Him and His gospel will still be sure. That is all that really matters. As long as I am good in my relationship with Him, the rest of this life is just an obstacle course designed to provide me opportunities to become more like Him.

iPad Giveaway! Utah readers take note!

Hello my Utah readers. Remember when I posted about our Phoenix LaptopXchange grand opening when they gave away an iPad? (By the way, the woman who won the drawing happened to be a recently divorced woman who wasn't going to be able to give her kids any kind a Christmas. Seems that iPad answered someones prayer.)

Well it is Utah's turn now. A new LaptopXchange just opened in Salt Lake City. They will be doing a "Grand Opening Event" on January 28th where they will give away an iPad. Go check them out and let me know what you think of the SLC store. Make it your first stop for all your mobile computing needs. It will save you money!

Here is the store's location, hours, and phone number for details on the giveaway:
Salt Lake City, UT
2236 So. 1300 E. Suite D3A

Salt Lake City, UT 84106

Hours:

Monday - Friday: 10:00am - 7:00pm

Saturday: 10:00am - 6:00pm

Sunday: Closed

Phone: 801-467-4500

New Friends

Remember last year when my Dad picked up a bunch of Chinese men at Walmart and became their Mormon taxi driver? See this post HERE. Well the CES conference was last week again and the Chinese guys were back in town for it. Jonathan and I went with my Dad to meet them for Chinese food on Thursday. We used an application on Jonathan's phone to translate for us as we don't speak Chinese and they speak limited English.

It was fun. They brought us some lovely gifts from China--tea and a lovely tea set, a beautiful fan and a cool drawing pad that erases when you push a button. Two of them, YY and Cao, had a free day after the conference ended and before they flew back to China so my dad picked them up from their hotel took them to see the Hoover Dam and then we met up with them at Bread and Butter to give them a great American meal.

YY is the one next to Lauren and Cao is by Sabrina.

I ordered one of almost everything on the menu. Their favorite item was the ham and cheese on pretzel roll. :) My favorite too. What can I say? These guys have great taste. Someday I need to get to China to visit them in the city across the river from Hong Kong.

But for now, Jon and I are dreaming and scheming to go to the UK and Denmark this fall. We want to see where our families originate. Any readers out there want to give me some must sees in those areas? I kinda want to drive from London to Denmark. I know it is like a 14 hour drive but I haven't ever been to Belgium or Holland and I would love to spend a day or two seeing the countryside there. Am I crazy? Jon thinks so. He wants to fly or take a train. Anyone been there and done it? Suggestions?

5th Grade Essay Contest

Every year American Mother's Inc. sponsors a national essay contest for 5th graders. I am heading up the effort to collect essays from the wonderful 5th graders from the great state of Nevada. Do you live in Nevada? Do you have a 5th grader? If so, listen up ... or read on.

The topic of the essay is "What my Mother Means to me." 150 words about Mom. What could be sweeter? If you want your child to enter this essay contest, the full rules are found HERE. Email me for my address if you want to submit your child's essay at stephaniewaite at gmail dot com.

The difficulty I have run into in trying to get this essay contest going here is that public schools are preparing for their writing proficiency exams. Somehow this essay contest seems to be ... low priority for the schools. But I have a 5th grader. I want her to write this essay. :) I think it is important for children to reflect on all their mothers do for them.

If you also would like to have your child to have this "opportunity for reflection," whether they are in 5th grade or not :), check out the details and have your child sit down to write his or her 150 words. You may find great treasure in what they write.

Entries need to be to me by Feb. 10th and will be judged by an independent education professional. Prizes will be awarded to both state and national winners.

Super Best Friends

Last night I was giving Noble a bath and Harrison, who had already had a bath yesterday, was crawling around the bathroom. Well, Noble was mostly just playing in the bath. He would make a big splash and Harrison, who had pulled himself up to stand next to the tub, would laugh and scream in delight. Harrison was up on tip toes.

I wish I had an internal video camera. I sat there watching in pure mother delight. My sweet baby and little boy, enjoying each other to the fullest, made my heart so full. These two boys love each other so much. I know they will be such good friends.

Then my mind turned to a conversation I had earlier that day with my sister in law. We were talking about our kids and she asked if my girls had best friends. I gave her the reply that Sabrina recently gave me when I asked her. "Annie is Sabrina's super best friend and Sabrina is Annie's Super best friend. They tell each other EVERYTHING. Even things they won't tell me."

Then my heart got that old familiar stab of pain from the plan going terribly wrong. Who is going to be Lauren's super best friend? Can I possibly fill that spot as her mother without throwing off the delicate balance of showing all my children equal love? Will she feel that missing or am I just feeling it for her? They are old and never ending questions.

I see Camille so often in my little Harrison as he grows. His joys are doubly fulfilling for me; his sorrows doubly painful to me. I miss her. I watch her Waite cousins, one girl 4 months younger and one girl 4 months older than Camille would have been. I see them holding hands, their friendship growing. I miss her being with them. They should have another member of their crew.

Then again maybe my little missing one can be more of a "super best friend" to all of us-- Lauren, her cousins, me -- just the way things are. She will always listen and never be angry or jealous or mean. She is close when we are sad and her silent presence is a comfort. Maybe one day, when we meet again, we will find she shared in all our joys, laughed with us in our jokes, delighted in our triumphs and was a more constant and close friend as an angel than she ever could be here on Earth. Maybe she is now more able than ever to be the "super bestest" friend ever.

A New Word

Noble is at one of my favorite stages. His speech expands daily with new words and phrases. Today he displayed his new skills in a little phrase I wanted to record for the ages.

We were in the car. I was telling the girls we were going to our cousin's house after swimming lessons so I could get my hair cut. The girls were discussing how they liked me hair long or short. "Your hair is great long mom. Why are you cutting it?" That sort of discussion.

Then from the far back seat Noble pipes up his "humble" opinion. "MY hair is AMAZING!" Yes my son it is.

Here is Noble at the cabin this fall with his Amazing "white" hair shining in the sun.

New Glasses

When I was about 14 I got glasses for the first time. I found out I needed them when I tried a pair of my friends glasses on for fun and realized I could see so much better with them on. That was ... a few years ago. Since then I have had 1 other pair of frames. I have never lost my glasses... until a couple weeks ago.

The last 2 weeks I have been searching for my glasses. Finally my husband told me to go get a new pair. The old pair were falling apart anyway seeing as how they were like 15 years old. So yesterday I went to the eye doctor and got a new Rx and then got new glasses. Here I am tonight in my pjs with my glasses on display for you:

I know kinda washed out due to the bright flash and the fact that I am sitting in the dark writing this. Sorry. 

Anyway, I learned yesterday that losing your glasses seems to be a rather costly mistake. I guess that is why these will have to last me for the next 15 years. 

On a separate note: my exercising goal is going well. I have been waking up to an alarm every morning and going running. My legs are killing me but my spirits are up. How are you doing on your resolutions?

New Year's Resolutions

I make New Year's Resolutions every year. But I don't have the staying power to keep at them for a whole year most of the time. So this year I have decided to do monthly goals for our family like I did a couple of years ago. But instead of picking a new goal at the first of each month we laid them all out in advance.

The good thing about this is that I can focus on one thing and hopefully REALLY do it for the month. My hope is that some of it will continue through the year as well. At the same time it lets me pick 12 goals for the year. Considering the very extensive list of ways I would like to improve myself, this is good for me.

I had a hard time actually narrowing my list down to the 12. And to be completely honest I have a few "changes" that I am making for 2012 that I am not counting as resolutions. They are just going to be changes. They are things I already do faithfully but am going to increase my amount.

For our 12 Family Resolutions I had us focus on "well being" in the areas of physical activity, diet, spiritual, and emotional. Some months will be harder for some of us than others. But hopefully we will all grow through working on these resolutions.

Here is our list for 2012:
January: Exercise for at least 15 minutes everyday (this is a sweating workout)
February: No screens (except for checking email once a day and dad for work and maybe a weekly blog post)
March: No getting angry
April: Be Cheerful
May: Read the Scriptures individually (for mom and dad this will be 10 pages a day as our bishop suggests, for the kids it will be a verse for every year of their age.)
June: No processed Food
July: Exercise everyday for 30 mins.
Aug: Limit Sugar intake to one small treat a day or less
Sept: Whole Grains only
Oct: No complaining
Nov: Gratitude Journal daily and Grateful personal prayers
Dec: Serve others daily in a big way

What are you doing for your resolutions?

Merry Christmas

It is Christmas night. All is calm and quiet and bright. We had a wonderful Christmas with a few big twists. My sister's new baby Sam had to have an operation on the 23rd so they were in the hospital with him till Christmas eve night. That was disturbing but we are grateful the doctors found what had been going wrong with his digesting his food and that he is recovering well at home now.

Also my parents got a big envelope in the mail from our Church Headquarters, specifically the missionary department. ;) They will be serving another 18 month mission in Kenya again starting this July.

We are enjoying family in town and new exciting presents (trains trains trains! a rocking horse, an ipod nano, a new camera and an exersaucer!) I will post photos from Sabrina's new camera shortly. She was our Christmas photographer this year.

But for now, here is our Christmas card for all of you to wish you a very merry Christmas from the "8 Waites,"

Here is the original photo by my sister in law Elizabeth. Thanks Buff!

Christmas Advent Calendar

Someone asked for more information on the Savior Centered Advent Calendar my sister gave us for Christmas this year. Here is a photo of it halfway through the month:

 It is hung from a piece of twine with clothes pins. As I took down the bags I put up Christmas Cards we had received. In each bag was a scripture question about the story of the Savior's birth along with the scripture reference where the answer to the question could be found. Additionally in each bag was an activity for the day. See below:

The activities have been one of several things. Some are a challenge to do a Christ like action like the day above where we had to call a family member or friend who didn't live with us and tell them how much we love them. Others have been poems or stories about Christmas to read as a family. There was a Family Home Evening plan in one. We read a story about the Christmas orange and played "pass the orange" as a family. That was so much fun!

My sister has posted more details on how she did this project and how you can make your own on her blog. I would highly recommend going over there to visit it. Just click HERE. Not only does the make for a really fun and Savior focused December, it is really cute and makes a perfect place for hanging cute Christmas cards too.

Make it as a gift for someone you love next year!

Christmas Treats

Today I am once again thanking the Lord for my helpful girls. We were busy women today. We tended the boys and worked hard to get all our Christmas treats together for our friends and neighbors. This year I decided to give a cheese ball. It is a nice break from all the sweets. But my girls said I had to do pretzel treats too. "You have to think about kids mom! They don't like cheese balls." So we did about 300 pretzel treats too.

Sabrina and Annie and I got a good assembly line going while the boys napped.

So the photo is a little blurry but they were so cute in their aprons.
First we put some press and seal in a little 1 cup sized bowl.

 Then we put some chopped pecans in it. (Annie did a wonder chopping all the pecans with our food chopper thing by pampered chef.)

 Next we put in some plumped craisens. (Sabrina was our plumper. She was a pro with a wet cloth tied to her waist to help her out.)

 Then we covered the craisens with green onion. (I chopped up 18 bunches of green onions for this project.)

 After Annie put in the nuts and Craisens, Sabrina put in the green onions and then topped it all with a layer of Apricot Jam.

 Lastly, I added two ice cream scoops of our cheese mixture (1 part coconut, 2 parts shredded cheddar cheese, 4 parts cream cheese softened.) We had a total of 28 cups of cheese mixture for our project. I patted the balls of cheese down into the bowl and wrapped the press and seal around it.

Here was the end result:

 And here are all of them together on the table.

Next time I will have to be more careful about making sure my press and seal is bigger and seals well as some of them started to leak jam. There were too many to put in the fridge so we just took them out for delivery with a bag of Wheat Thins ASAP.

Now I am bushed, but happy. I love Christmas. Merry Christmas to you all!

Creative Crowns

 My Lauren loves to create things. I love seeing the beautiful things she comes up with. Our Camille tree out front (a red oak) has been shedding its leaves little by little. She picked a bunch up and made a counting book telling how she found one leaf in a bush and two leaves in the street and three leaves ... you get the idea. It was really cute with the leaves all stuck onto each page.

Then she got the scrapbooking scissors out and made these beautiful fall crowns for herself and her sisters. I think she wore hers for 3 days straight. She even made one with a leaf above each ear to wear for school "holiday head gear" day last week. It was her "raindeer" crown.

I just want to remember these little creations of hers. I want to remember the little notes of love and the times she offers to wash Annie's feet after Annie has a rough day. She may be hard headed and impossible to convince she is wrong (i have NO idea where she gets that ;) but she does have a loving heart and lots of talent.

I love you more than a never ending ice cream cone Lauren!

Harrison

Eight months old and eight teeth! I am loving this little "wormy" boy. Harrison likes to worm his way along the floor pushing with his right big toe. He can crawl. He does more and more these days. But most of the time he crawls a few feet and then drops down to his tummy to push himself along the floor wormy style.

He is most drawn to the stairs (though he hasn't made it past the first step), the shoe caddy closet (bins of shoes and socks to throw all over) and the car bin. Luckily he hasn't disturbed the Christmas presents too much.

He is a snuggle bug and will wrap his arms around your neck when you hold him. He loves to run his hands through the back of my hair and hold on to it. I love that. He is precious to me. Those eyes, those lips, that happy, peaceful disposition... what is not to love?

Twooo!

My hands have ben rather busy lately, thus hindering my posting. Instead I have been managing the messes and craziness of this little pirate guy:

"He will only be 2 once," Jon reminds me. And I know it. It brings both feelings of sadness and relief. I love 2. I hate 2. Mostly I love 2. But there are a few parts of 2 that really drive me batty. When I feel I am going batty I ask Noble, "How many are you Noble?" His little "I'n twoooo!" Makes me feel better.

He has been learning that Christmas decorations are for looking not touching (such a disappointment!) and that Christmas presents are supposed to stay wrapped under the tree. It is a "BIG No! No! No!" to unwrap presents.

Last week he opened a present (his first such offense) and found a train. It was for Harrison. Noble loves trains. This particular train was Emery from Chuggington (Noble's favorite show.) He was devastated that this was not for him. Later when I asked him what Christmas was all about he said, "Emery." 

We had work to do. I took him over to the Nativity and told him the story of the Savior's birth. He wasn't sure about that baby really being Jesus. It looked lots more like Harrison to him. At the end he was till pretty sure Christmas was about trains. 

All week we have been emphasizing that Christmas is about Jesus. We have been doing daily activities focused on the Savior with a fun advent calendar my sister gave us. Finally today when I asked Noble what Christmas was all about he said, "Jesus, Baby!"

I love seeing the joy of "Kissmuss" through 2 year old eyes. He will only be 2 once. He will only want me to play dinosaurs for hours for a short period of his life. He will only want to find scissors to cut anything he can for a little while longer. He will only insist I cook in the play kitchen with him and do all the cooking the way he says to for a few months more. He will only be saying the cute little things he says for a little while longer. He will only be 2 once. 

And I will savor it all, the good and the bad ... because I can. Because he is "twoooo!" Hooray!

The Little Things

My camera is out of juice. So the other day I went to get the charger for the battery so I could charge it. I couldn't find it. I looked high and low. No luck. I have one place I keep stuff like that and I looked throughly to no avail. The camera is only a few months old. I have only had to charge the battery once. Where could it be?

Tonight I started to think I would have to buy a new charger. I looked up how much a replacement would cost - $50. That is almost 1/4 the price of the camera. I know it has to be somewhere. But where?

I went up to bed. I knelt down to say my nightly prayers. And I prayed to find my charger. I did not have much hope. I had already searched high and low. I knew it wasn't somewhere I was just going to "run across" sometime. I have been looking for it for a few days now.

But I prayed that maybe the Lord would put a thought in my mind that would help me know where to look. I just kept thinking that it couldn't be too far from the place I keep all the charger things. So I came back downstairs to that area and thought, "You know I know I have looked there before, but I will search the kid's "pencil" drawer again. It has lots of junk in it. Maybe the charger is hiding.

As I started looking I realized that I didn't even know exactly how big it was. It could be smaller than I was thinking. I began taking everything out. And there it was. Under some paper in the far back corner. It was MUCH smaller than I thought. It has no cord either (another thing I was looking for.) It just plugs straight in the wall.

Once again, the Lord shows me He does care, even about little things.

the best laid plans...

Today is Jonathan's birthday. I was planning to go out to dinner with him and another couple to a nice place on the strip last night. I was planning to let him sleep in and do all the kids by myself this morning. I was planning on making him a coconut cream pie all for himself. I was planning to put the kids to bed early so we could spend one on one time together before going to sleep.

Then yesterday, a couple hours before we were to go out, I found out one of our friends was sick with a stomach bug. We decided to go to the temple instead of the Strip. Then for his "birthday dinner" we went to Tacos El Gordo. Basically we went to Mexico only we never left Las Vegas. It was the real deal. It was not the fancy place we planned to go but the food was legit Mexican. And the spirit and learning at the temple were so much better than the strip atmosphere.

When we got home we watch the King of Kong documentary. It is all about 2 guys competing for the world record score in Donkey Kong. Best line in the movie is when the one guys daughter is talking to her dad about how he is trying to get into the Guinness Book of World Records. She says something like, "Gee I never knew it was such a big deal to be in that book." Then her dad says it is and that people do a lot to get in it. To which she replies something like, "Yeah some people ruin their whole lives to get in it." Hmmmm.

That night Harrison was up 10 and 2 and 4 and 5. He is teething and has an ear infection so I was up with him each time. So when Noble woke up at 6 ... well Jon didn't exactly get to sleep in. I wanted to get up with him. The spirit was willing but the flesh ... well it was bone tired.

When I did wake up I did make a coconut cream pie for him and a second (1/2 coconut 1/2 chocolate and coconut) for everyone else we would be eating with that night at his parents house.

It was fast Sunday so there was no breakfast in bed or anything but we did wrap up some presents and let Jonathan open them this morning. After church I put Noble down for a nap and let Jon have a much needed nap. Then we packed everyone in the car and headed for Grandma's house to celebrate the 9 or 10 Waite family birthdays in the month of December.

Annie was acting funny and not eating all through dinner. Post dinner we all sat in the family room going over who all had birthdays this month and when. Just as we were wrapping that up Annie threw up all over me. Fun times. She felt so bad that she had thrown up on me. But that is just part of being a mom.

We went to the bathroom to disrobe and shower and get our clothes in the laundry. Meanwhile the family dove into dessert. Jon shared his pie with his family since my "chocolate coconut" experiment was not so great.

And tonight I sat with Annie till she fell asleep before going in to spend a few minutes with Jonathan before he fell asleep. What a long day. I hope Annie sleeps tonight and feels better tomorrow. I wish I could sleep. I feel anxious. I thought writing might help. I hope it does. I am going to go try to sleep again. It was not the birthday I had planned for my husband. But he knows I love him and I love that he loves me despite my foiled and altered plans.