My brother in law Spencer wrote the music and lyrics for a lullaby for Camille. He was inspired by watching Jon and I as we turned off the respirators and held Camille as she died. My mother in law Kathleen wrote the accompaniment and arranged the song. Then a friend of Spencer and Marleen's named Sean Williams who has a recording studio helped us record it. Thanks a million Sean. If anyone in Vegas needs a recording done, you should email sean at smw2785@hotmail.com. He has a great set up, great equipment and he was great to work with personally.
Jonathan and I each took a turn to sing, then we sang it together. This was ... well ... I am sure you can imagine ... NOT easy. It is one thing to stand and talk at a funeral. You can cry and talk at the same time pretty well. But singing ... singing is a whole different ball game. Singing when crying just doesn't work.
I had not been able to make it through the song once till we recorded it. Even then it took a few tries and I can tell in my voice that there are times I am struggling to keep it together. I had to put some photos to the song to upload it. Eventually, I will put this music to the photos of Camille that my sister in law took at the hospital. I haven't seen those yet. I am sure I will post that slide show once I make it. But that may be a while so until then...
Which version of the song do you like best? I can't decide which I like best. (It is okay if you don't say me. I don't take offense to things. Plus, I think my husband's voice lessons are paying off. I think his version is fantastic.)
82 comments:
I definitely have to vote for the duet. As I was listening to you each sing I thought, "They should sing it in a duet." It is a beautiful song, and you did a wonderful job, both of you. Thank you for helping me appreciate my role as a mother more and sharing so openly your thoughts and feelings.
I wish I could listen. I can not ever get the videos on Blogger to work for me on my computer :( Your story is so heart breaking. I am praying very hard for your whole family. I admire your strength!!!
Oh I agree with Donna. You need to try it as a duet. If not, I vote on you. I just found out about your blog thru my sister last night while we were chatting on the webcam. We live 1,000 miles apart and she was so touched by your loss of Precious Camille. I started reading and can't stop. I admire the strength you and your husband have in dealing with this Great loss. Camille is so precious and angelic. She is an angel among us now. This Lullaby is such a wonderful tribute to her. God bless your family.
I read your blog almost every day. I saw the link about Camille on my cousin Seth Ballstaedt's blog. I really admire your courage to sing that song and in sharing all that you are going through after your tragic loss. I couldn't help from crying when I heard you sing. I like all of the versions and was really pleased that you did a duet. It was very beautiful. You will be in our prayers!
Definetely the duet...they are all sweet but the duet is wonderful... thanks for sharing this beautiful lullaby with us.
hugs, Kathy
Absolutely precious. There was something very sweet about hearing Camille's "daddy" sing to her. I would love to get your email address, Stephanie. We met with Elder Clayton Sunday night and talked about your family for a bit. You are in our prayers.
mollymjackson@gmail.com
*I it would be neat to do a duet where you aren't singing every verse at the same time. Switch off lines and then sing the ending together. Just a thought.
I vote for the duet, although I could only listen to the first part of it (that's all my heart could take!!). Simply beautiful.
Very lovely. Spencer and Mom did a nice job. I love that you two got have your voices singing. I like Mommy and Daddo together.
Couldn't stop crying during the duet so I guess that's the most touching for me...something about hearing both of you together and knowing that you are facing the loss of Camille together gave it extra meaning. You both have beautiful voices and the words and melody are so tender. I'm sure Camille loves hearing it and is listening from heaven. This separation between you and her has made me appreciate each moment with my loved ones so much more. Thank you for every wonderful post!
How beautiful. All three versions are wonderful - I can picture each of you holding Camille separately while singing to her and having a small moment with her alone. However, I think your duet is the most touching. Much love - Shanan
It's beautiful. I love the duet.....tears streaming down my face. I sure don't know how you made it through....must have been your little angel attendng you.
Hi Stephanie! I have been out of town for a bit and haven't had a chance to check your blog in a few days. What a beautiful song! I love the slideshow with it...Camille was such a pretty little girl. You are incredible, and I am continually amazed at how you are managing to turn such a tragedy into such a positive thing.
I vote for the duet. Al though they all sound amazing. I am amazed at both of you that you were able to sing so beautifully through that, I couldn't even listen to it with out crying. I pray for your family often!
Definitely together. What an angel she is. She reminds me of my baby girl which makes it extra hard to get through your posts. When I think about you both holding her in the hospital, it makes my heart ache. I'm so sorry. She is a beautiful little angel who is singing along with you in Heaven.
Amanda
I, too, sit hear in tears. How on earth were you able to do that? You guys did a beautiful job. As I listened, I kept thinking, "oh, I like this one. Oh, I like this one." In the end, I loved the duet. Both voices need to be heard! And the pictures of Camille are so precious.:)
What a beautiful lullaby to your sweet baby. I am so touched by the tenderness of the words and the arrangement.
I think the duet is so beautiful. Thank you, thank you, for sharing this gift with each of us.
I love each version. I like the comment that suggests breaking up the verses so Daddy and Mommy both have a personal moment to sing. When you sing together it is so powerful and represented to me the unbreakable bond of family, a bond more powerful than death. Thank you for sharing. I can understand that the lullaby is for a parent to a child but I also thought how sweet it would be to hear her sisters sing the lullaby that they feel for their baby sister.
Each version was so sweet, but the duet was so touching. I am amazed each day by you and your family.
I thought I'd add an editorial. I just want everyone to note that these recordings were definitely amateur night -- but that's what makes it more authentic. It's a lullaby that any parent could sing to any child and we could have brought in a more refined singer to the recording but we felt that would have detracted from the purpose. As for us making it through emotionally in one take -- we actually didn't. Gotta love the wonders of modern technology...
I liked the duet the best. You did a wonderful job of getting through that song. I hope that listening to it is a sweet comfort to you. Camille loves you both so much and You can feel the love that both you and Jon had for her. The day will come when you meet again and what a joyous day that will be for you. You have amazing strength. Thank you for helping me to appreciate every moment of life.
Beautiful and touching. I like the duet- but some parts of you each singing alone are wonderful, too. What a sweet song.
The spirit has always touched me strongest through song! From the time I was very little, I knew that my testimony of this gospel would soar when listening to certain songs.
So beautiful!
Beautiful,beautiful, beautiful. All three versions were fantastic for their own reasons - Daddy singing to his little girl, Mom and daughter who share such a special bond, and then the duet just made me cry. The words to that song were beautiful and right on the mark.
That was so beautiful. I loved it when you sang it together.
Oh together of course (I say as tears stream down my face). That is absolutely beautiful. You and Camille have truly touched my heart.
I can hardly type, I'm crying so hard. I think each version is precious in it's own way. When Jonathan sings, I can picture a daddy-daughter moment. I can hear his manly voice all tender and loving. I was surprised when you sang. You sound so strong on this blog, and I selfishly come here for strength every day, but in this you sound fragile and lovely and tentative and so young. You sound like you could be me. And then when you guys sing together, I can hear the strength of it in both of you. It was comforting to hear after the rawness of your individual emotions. It was so very lovely. Thank you for sharing. I hold my baby {and children} close every day and pray for you and your family.
Every day i read your blog and you are an amazing latter-day saint! The title to your blog is perfect, this site is a daily scoop of inspiration! You need to save all these posts and comments and write a book!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING!!!
I like the duet best also. I read your blog daily, and am so touched and inspired by your family. Your words and thoughts are beautiful, your little Camille is absolutely precious. Thank you for being so open with your thoughts and feelings. That is a trait that I greatly admire, because I tend to hold back. You and your family are in my prayers.
I have never commented before though I've been reading for a few weeks. However, after I listened to this song, I just had to let you know how my heart aches for you and your whole family. I hope you can literally feel the prayers of so many complete strangers lifting you up from near and far. I live in Georgia and I can't even remember who linked me to your blog. I am so thankful someone did! I am deeply moved by your writing and the honesty it portrays. I can't help but hold my own four little ones closer because of you and your precious Camille. As for the song, I like the duet best I think. Actually, I loved all three versions. I would love to be able to sing this to my babies at bed time! We sing to ALL of our kids every night-even our seven year old "big girl." Thank you so much for sharing!
I loved tehma ll but my favorite is you and John together. I was touched but the tears began when you both sang. Thanks-I always read each day and for some reason today I needed a boost and your song did that. I wish I could be tehre in person to give you a boost back-you both are amazing and really are Camille's companions.
I vote for the duet. So touching.
I think that the emotions that we can tell you were feeling make the song even better. You both did a great job! Wow the Waite's are amazingly talented....and they are married to such talented people!
i really cannot figure out how either of you were able to make it through that. i love the duet with both of you. steph...i think you sound better than you realize. you have a beautiful voice, and you should think about taking some of those voice lessons with jon. i think you'd be amazed at yourself.
as i was watching that slide show i had this thought. (i hope i can articulate it well). of course camille's death is unbelievably hard, but as you've said so many times and as has become so obvious her mission, or one of them, on this earth was to inspire us to be better. for that i, and i think you, are so grateful. i was watching her pictures flash across my screen and thinking about how she is right in the middle of my 2 little ones. parker was 2 in april and natalie will be 1 in september. i realized that camille passed away just before she was really old enough to be "naughty." of course, i love my 2 year old more than anything, but he's at an age where he's starting to know better. when he makes messes or gets into things he shouldn't, he knows better and needs to face consequences (aka. timeout). natalie on the other hand doesn't. when she gets into things or makes messes it's still nothing but cute. all of camille's actions here on this earth are nothing but cute and sweet. she truly in every way never moved out of complete innocence. what an amazing spirit to bless your home.
love you!
maryclaire
There is something special that I feel when both of you sing the lullaby. Like what people have said before you both are singing to her because you both are enduring the time away from her. Listening has hit that spot for me today. I miss Camille.
I really love you both together. But I love the ones of you singing by yourselves as well. You are truly an amazing family, and I appreciate you helping us see what things we need to be grateful for. Thank you for opening up your life to share with all of us!
Hey I loved you version Stephanie. I could just picture you holding Camille and singing her to sleep. I could picture myself singing to my own children as they fell asleep. There is something soothing about a mother's voice to her children. Jonathon did great though! What a peaceful, calming song. Simply beautiful like your little Camille.
Karen Stewart
steph and jon it is beautiful. i like you sinking it together.
i think it should say, "the night is gone and day has come" for camille though. Of course that would not make sense for the song, but for her that is what has happened. Day is associated with brightness and happiness and she is basking in His light now. she is so beautiful and you and jon are amazing! we love you!
They are all so beautiful Stephanie, but if I had to choose, the duet was sooo pretty. Listening to each of you sing these sweet words to Camille brought me to tears! Thank you soo much for sharing this song, it is such a sweet lullaby! Your brother and mother in law did an amazing job, putting together such a beautiful song.
Love always,
Candace
I am once again sitting here with tears rolling down my cheeks. The duet was beautiful! I could feel of the Spirit so strong. I also agree with Molly on switching off and singing the end together. It was a beautiful slide show. You have a beautiful angel, that is now inspiring so many others to do good. I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,
JaNae
Wow! I am just about speechless. What an amazing thing to do! I love the words in the song. When I heard your voice, I instantly got goosebumps and started crying. The tears continued through the duet. To be perfectly honest...I love it how it is - one of each and then both. And 6 minutes is a good time for a slideshow. I don't know - I think they are all three awesome - I mean it sincerely!
~Lynn/PA
Oh my goodness... all three versions were amazing! The duet was my absolute favorite! The love i felt when i heard this was amazing! Thank you for sharing this with us!
wow steph and jon - that was so beautiful. great job, spencer. what an amazing song. it's truly touching and inspiring. i love the pictures that you put with the song - especially the ones on the beach.
you are such a good family. what a blessing for you and for her that she got to join you on this earth and that she's an eternal piece of your forever family.
i know that families are forever. i know that she lives and i know that Jesus Christ lives. i'm so grateful for that knowledge.
catherine
I have been reading your blog since Camille's accident but haven't commented yet...I didn't feel like I had anything worthwhile to contribute. I had to comment on this song though, it's amazing. I prefer both of you singing it together, it makes it that much more sweet. I'm amazed at your strength and wisdom through this trial. Oh, I found your blog through Emily Nelson...
So perfect. Thank you.
I love both!!
mom, i and jack and morgan all listened to it. the boys were rocking back and forth to it. mom and i were tearing up. it perfectly sums up the sacred moments with her after the machines turned off. this is a little bit of heaven. such a perfect lullaby. we could not believe you had even two words come out clearly without tears behind them. thanks spencer. this just hit the spot for all of us.
Oh me oh my, how can one not cry at this beautiful song? It's amazing. You and your family are precious. Thank you for sharing this.
I love the two of you singing together. Very precious. I can picture the two of you singing over her.
Just beautiful- you are so lucky to have such a talented family! All three versions are so sweet. What a special keepsake to have! I was crying from the beginning and couldn't get the song out of my head- I was humming the tune as I rocked my daughter to sleep for her nap.
I think Jon's version is soothing. The duet version to me is strengthening. And although your version, Stephanie, was the most painful to listen to because I feel the loss of a daughter from a mother--it was the most powerful to me.
It seems like your version alone is something that lets the emotion out so you can rest after singing your baby to sleep and knowing she is safe.
I have two babies (twins). Last night one of them was up crying, and instead of leaving her to soothe herself like I usually would have done, I picked her up and spent some time holding her and rocking her to sleep. I thought of you. I will probably never take for granted holding my children again, so thank you.
If she's up again tonight, you can bet your voice will be going through my head as I hold her.
Beautiful. And, I say the duet, definitely.
Hugs, Leslie
P.S. For those not able to get it running on the web page, use the option to download and view locally. I could not hear the sound until I did that.
I had Camille's lullaby in my head all day to day. I love that little girlie and miss her. The song went right to my heart.
Have me in tears!! It's such a sweet touching song. I want to sing it to my own children. I like all three parts--I was touched through the whole thing and your voices are beautiful.
The song and all three renditions are beautifully haunting.
I think each of your voices brings something different to the lyrics so my suggestion (not unlike Molly's) would be having Jon start the song, you sing the next verse and you both sing the ending - or some combination thereof. Although this is a deeply shared pain, there is something very touching in the individual expression as well.
I must admit a bias to a male voice and a lullaby.
Whatever you decide, it will be lovely.
A truly wonderful tribute to your sweet baby.
Thank you. It is a beautiful song. My husband and I are both very musical and that was truly gorgeous. What a sweet lullaby. All of the versions were very sweet. Thanks again for sharing your story. I read your blog daily and admire you so much. Please remember that someone in Arizona is mourning your loss and praying for you and your family. :)
Steph & Jon, Thank you for this blog and for bearing your testimony so often in your posts. I've loved reading them all (over and over). Your faith and strength is amazing. You are definitely (with Camille as your "Senior Companion") helping others to be stronger and more faithful.
The duet was my favorite, although I loved each version for different reasons. S for sure loved Jon's lullaby to Camille the very best.
We love you and your girls!!
S & Lynnae
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I've been so anxious to hear this song. Beautiful. Brought me tears as I'm sure it did everyone who listened. I prefer the duet because I was impressed with a thought as I listened. Camille was able to go to sleep in the loving arms of her earthly parents and wake to the loving arms of her Heavenly Father and Mother. I don't know why, but that thought just really touched me. She has been so blessed to have both sets of parents who love her so dearly and to whom she can turn for comfort. Just as you guys have mourned as you have said goodbye to her for a season and will rejoice with her when you are reunited, so did our Heavenly Father and Mother mourn as they said goodbye for a season, and now, are able to rejoice with her as they are reunited. I love you guys. Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us.
Jenny (Earl) Norton
This is a beautiful song and video that I really enjoyed watching. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about Camille and pray for your family. Love and strength come your way from me and thank you so much for keeping updates on your family!
I thought it was all wonderful. I don't know you either, but your words have been a strength for me as I'm sure it has been for many that have lost their children. As I listened, I imagined that day your family shared in the hospital room as Camille's spirit left her body. The rhythm in the music seems so beautifully in tune with the events in that room and the feelings and Spirit, perhaps angels, that were there. I recalled the day my 3 year old son's spirit left his body. Although sad, it was also SO spiritual. I know that angels were there with us.
Thank you so much for your strong spirit and comforting words. You have a great talent. Keep sharing!
Music has always been a big part of my life and always soothed me, I would have to say that your Camille's lullay is one of the most heartfelt songs I have ever heard. I can hear the love and pain in both of your voices which makes it so tender. I would have to vote on the side of most of the others and go with the duet. There is something with the joined voices that gives the song depth. I love you and read your blog almost daily and pray for you and your loss. The song is beautiful beyond words and an inpiration. Thank you.
Emily Shaw Harris
Stephanie~ How are you doing? I check up on you on your blog often and it seems that you are coping better than I think I ever could. Just know that you and your family are definitely still in our prayers. I love the duet...however...the version you sing is so special! There is something so delicate and gentle between a mother and her baby. I love them all, but I think your version is my favorite. I'm very impressed that you made it through the lullaby. Tell your family they did a great job with the music. What talented family! Hang in there Steph! There are A LOT of people down here in Long Beach praying for you! Take care.
~Kara Costello :)
The duet is perfection, and of course the daddy's version was absolutely beautiful, but for me being a mother myself, your version had something extra special in it.
Your blog and words are so very inspiring. Thank you.
Beautiful. I loved hearing your husband and you together. Camille is beautiful. Thank you for your strong testimony and the words you write. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
I love the duet!!! thankyou for sharing this with us.
I liked the duet. Great job for both of you singing it so well!!! I am thinking of you both and sending prayers your way. So sorry for this heartache, but so glad you are able to take Heavenly Father's will and accept it as you have. Sometimes I think there are lessons we would rather not learn, but what better and amazing people we can become if we allow it. Thanks for sharing yourselves with me.
There was something very special about the duet. Individually it was pretty, but there was much more "power" and strength in the duet, which is what a marriage is - finding that strength and holding onto each other as we go through life's challenges.
Thank you for sharing your family with everyone. I am treasuring my time with little ones more because of your story.
Hi Stephanie, I'm Nikki's cousin, and she led me to your blog. I just love reading it. Your words and thoughts are always so beautifully written, and I've cried many times...I LOVE Camille's lullaby. So sweet and touching. You are such a strong person, mother, and role model.
What a beautiful song! I have to agree with most of your other comments...the duet is amazing...just perfect:)
Your always in our prayers:)
A friend of a friend of mine heard about you and your family and your great loss. She let me know of your blog and I have been reading you words everyday. You are an amazing woman. The way you express you love for not only Camille but your family and your great testimony of the gospel is amazing to me. My you and your family be blessed with strength and happiness for all of eternity. Your example of forgiving love and undying strength is felt even all the way over here to our family in Enlgand
I have only commented once, but as Spencer's mom I have to say that his song, Kathleen's arrangement, and your voices have created a beautiful moment in time for me. Thank you for all that you share with us.
I loved them all but vote for the duet. You continue to pull at my heart strings
What a courageous family you have! I just heard about your story from my friend. I cried reading about Camille's accident. I hope the Lord's peace and strength will be with you. I love the lullaby with both of you singing. What a sweet message! Bless your sweet family and all those darling girls!
I too am in awe that you were able to sing this to record it. This is a beautiful song for a beautiful baby girl. I love each version... God bless you all!
Dear Stephanie & family, Thank you for your inspiration & ability to open your heart to others during this time. Last week I was led to your blog through a friend. Many tears have been shed as I have read your entries & learned of the tender mercies God has given your family, looked at the beautiful pictures, and now listened to your sweet Camille's lullably. I love the duet & the idea of each of you singing solos within.
Although we have never met formally we have a few things in common & I wish I could give you a big hug & cry with you in person. I too have an angel baby. My little Brigham is our 3rd child & he lived a wonderful 6 months and 2days before his earthly mission was fulfilled. Your writing has captured many of the feelings & emotions I experienced in the months following Brigham's death. I can see the Comforter still has you wrapped firmly in His arms. You are an exemplary mother & have been diligent in turning this trial into a triumph. Thank you for your courage & strength even though it can be a lonely place.
Also, my family was at Aspen Grove during the same week in June as your family. I'm sure our kids were in some of the same age groups, but I haven't looked back through my pictures yet. As always, while at Aspen Grove we missed our little Briggers & I couldn't help but look at the little 3 yr. old age group & picture our Brigham there. I wonder what he would be like today & long to hold him for just five more minutes. I always explain that we have 4 children, one of them is just on the other side, a missionary working hard & cheering his family on that he left behind. At Aspen Grove I realized our family does feel "normal" again, but we will never be normal the way we were before, it's a new normal, a better normal.
Again, thank you for your making such a difference in the lives of your family, friends, & many friends you haven't met yet. Your family is beautiful.
Kathryn in Utah
Stephanie,
You simply amaze me! I don't know how you do everything you do. This beautiful song reaches the core of my soul. I love all three versions and have listened to them over and over. Thank you for letting me into your life. I really feel a connection between you and Camille. I met you and Camille at Shelli's baby shower in Jan. or Feb. Camille was wearing that cute pink fuzzy hat. At first glance I thought she had dyed pink hair because it fit her snugly. I remember how everyone at the party was really ooohing and ahhhing over her. I am so grateful that Camille and I crossed paths even if it was only one time. And little did I know at that time that you would play such an inspiring role in my life. You said at one time in your blog that you hoped that people reading would cling a little harder to their loved ones (those weren't your words but close). The ripple effect of your's and Camille's blog must be amazing. I remember reading the comment about you two being companions and as I read it I thought, "That's it!" It struck me that this was TRUE. What a comfort to know that your beautiful Camille is with you and always will be with you for the rest of your life. I often think of the reunion you, Jon, and the girls will have with her. Unimaginable Joy! Thank you again for being a part of my life and I hope you and I meet again.
Love-Heather
Hi Stephanie,
What beautiful music. I love both. I have been checking your blog these past couple of week through a friend’s blog. You are amazing women with a beautiful testimony. Every time I read your words I am touched with the spirit, Thank You so much for sharing it. Our little girl will be turning 1 in August and Camille reminds us of her SO much; Her smile, the sparkle in her eyes, and even the little hair on her head. =) my husband has made mutilple comments on how similar the girls are. Yesterday evening I was driving to the airport to pick up my family and a song came onto the radio and I instantly You and Camille came to mind. I was able to find the song this morning through youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S70gwFcSK9k
It is such a comfort to know that we can be together again as families. What an amazing day it will be when you reunite with Camille.
Love, Kara
I'd love to add you to my blog if you don't mind, please let me know if that's alright. My blog is private so if you'd like to be added my email is karalwood@yahoo.com
All versions are beautiful to me, but if I had to pick one, it would be Dado singing to his daughter.
Thanks for sharing. Your strength, faith and hope are truly inspiring!
Stephanie,
Like others who have posted, I am writing to you with tears running down my cheeks. You are such an inspiration to me and to everyone who reads this. The thought of you and Camille being missionary companions, her on the other side, is so touching and strengthening to me. Last week I witnessed a man die in the David O. McKay library here at BYU-Idaho, and I have been struggling with a broken heart since then. I am strengthened by your sweet words and your testimony. Your family is in my prayers. God bless you.
Chelsey
Rexburg, ID
You are an amazing person. I found your blog thru a friends blog and have been reading it for the past hour. This song is beautiful! Reading your story has made such an impression on me. I have a little girl who who is going to get an extra kiss and hug tonight. Thanks for reminding me how important and rewarding being a mom really is! My prayers are with you.
wow! this was awesome! i definitely vote for the duet. what a touching song. Thanks for sharing
it's beautiful just the way it is.
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